A Chocolate-y, Champagne-y Birthday Party
This month, I decided to invite a few friends over and throw myself a birthday gathering. I’m turning 46, so it’s not a major milestone, but life is short and I figured everyone could do with a little sparkle right now. So, why not?
My parties usually involve potato chips and ice cream bars, but my friend Maddy offered to make a giant bowl of chocolate mousse, which has been my favorite dessert since I was little. Then her friend Erin, a fine artist, asked if she could make a centerpiece with papier-mâché. Of course, the answer was yes, and on the day of the party she walked in with a GORGEOUS swan, plus ribbons and candles and tablecloths, and oh my gosh, my jaw dropped. What can women not do?!
After debating what to wear, I went with the velvet dress with gold flowers, plus sheer tights and black heels. Sézane pieces always make me feel pretty — this was my trusty first-date top — so I knew I’d love wearing it. Every time someone hugged me hello, they would say how soft and huggable the velvet felt, which felt very romantic and lovely.
Freddie arrived early, of course, and I love this pic taken THROUGH the swan!
Everyone mingled and chatted, and the house felt noisy and boisterous in the best way.
Halfway through, we took a break to listen to music. My friend Rachel runs a music school, so I had asked her if she could recommend a student to play. She told me that Keira Eli was a star who writes her own music (!) so I was thrilled to hire her to come play two original songs.
Everyone was transfixed; you could have heard a pin drop. I cannot explain how slow and beautiful and moving her songs were. The moment felt almost holy.
Next up, my hilarious friend David sang Country Roads and Passing Through…
…and the crowd sang along.
Last but not least, long-time buddies Rob and Adam played violin and keyboard. They wanted to keep their song choices under wraps until the party…
…so everyone cheered when they played Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and Chappell Roan’s Pink Pony Club.
Finally, my friends held up a tea light, so I could blow out a ceremonial candle…
And I ended the night with a kiss. I felt very lucky and glowy all evening and for the next few days — and, honestly, still! How grateful I am for these friends, as well as this online community. I told Freddie the next morning that this might have been my favorite birthday ever, and I wish I could tell my twenty-something self, who thought life ended at the stroke of midnight on your 40th, that there is so much more to come.
Thank you so much for reading! When’s your birthday? Any other Aquariuses? Aquarii? What was your favorite-ever birthday, if you have one? xoxo
P.S. A funny thing we did on my 40th birthday, and thoughts on aging.
(This post is sponsored by Sézane, a brand we’ve worn and loved for years. Thank you for supporting the companies that support Cup of Jo. Photos by Weddings by Nato.)
Tags: personal
Comments
90 commentsJoanna, what brand are those black heels?? Looking for something similar :)
Joyeux anniversaire ! En outre, may I please say that I am *living* for your friend’s dark green silk slip dress and crisp, white, button-down blouse combo?!? Can we have her do a wardrobe guest post? Bisous!
Oh my goodness! Happy birthday! What a beautiful celebration! Happy birthday to Lucy too!
My 46th birthday falls on the Super Bowl this year so I don’t think I can convince any of my people to solely celebrate me (mostly because our team is in it this year ~ Go Birds!). But, I will happily share my special day.
Beautiful! You’re inspiring as always. <3
Happy Birthday Joanna! This is my favorite way to celebrate a birthday. A perfect dessert, good friends and lucky you , lovely live music. What could be better?
You look so very happy and it is clear everyone had a lovely time. Two quick questions. What is that amazing green wall color and could you please share info on your light fixture? Thank you!!!
Happy Birthday! Loved (what I could see!) of your friend’s teal/peacock blue long sleeve dress. Could you provide a link to it, please? Thank you!
The dress! I knew it! It was perfect on you! Happy Birthday! (mine near Aquarius but still Capricorn 16/1)
Happy Birthday, that looked so fun! I’m also an aquarius my birthday is January 25th. Because it’s only a month after Christmas and summer time in Brazil I never had that many people who could be around to celebrate, but maybe next year I’ll make an effort to have a little party :)
My birthday is the 31st too and this year I turned 40!! :)))))
I’m so happy for you that you found a new beau to share in this day of delight. Divorce has changed so much in our generation, and you’ve continued your role of honest influence to show us the road. I’ve read this blog for soooo long. Since before you got married! I hope we all can learn to love every minute of our stories, even the tough spots, because these periods are included in what defines us. It’s been a privilege to watch you come through it all. ❤️ Happy Birthday!
What a lovely gathering. Happy birthday, Joanna. Hope the year brings good things x
Gosh, you look happy 💕
Fellow Aquarian here! Same on my 40th, we went with 12 people to the Bahamas for a big birthday bash. About to turn 46 and it’s funny I would not want that same birthday again. Growth! Happy birthday!
Looks sweet, fun, romantic even. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! You look amazing and so relaxed and happy. Thank you for sharing. Would love if your friend could share that incredible chocolate mousse recipe in a future post. Wow!
I’ll ask her!
Yes, please, the Mousse recipe!!!!
Love this. Leaning in to community is the antidote to these scary times. Already thinking about planning some gatherings soon. Anyone else terrified by the open flames, though, lol? My kiddo grabbed a lit menorah over the holidays (everyone’s ok!) and I think I’m done with candles. They do look so romantic, though.
My husband is allergic to candles! It’s something in the smoke, and honestly, I always was a bit bummed about it because I love candles. But now that I have a nearly two year old, I’m all good with the electric ones.
Fellow Aquarius chiming in to say thank you, Jo, for creating this collective community of wisdom and grace. It really is a bright spot on the web— a reminder that our world is filled with goodness, care, and some gosh darn beautiful women who value lifting others up. Happy birthday— with extra raspberries on top! Cheers to 46!
Happy birthday Aquarius queen! What an inspiration your party photos and your joyous friends are! I am thinking I may throw myself a birthday party next year for my 50th with a The Cure playlist and swans! Thanks for sharing your joyful day! So thankful for you and the CoJ community.
I scrolled through this post while listening to Keira Eli’s single in the background and are these pictures hazy or is it the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes? Love is not made to be a crumb, and this gathering is a perfect example of make it the whole damn cake.
“Love is not made to be a crumb”: holy shit! That’s poetry. That’s beautiful and true!! Did that come from somewhere else or your own power? Just gorgeous 😍
Hi Nicole! It’s actually a play on the words of Mary Oliver in her poem called Don’t Hesitate – “Joy is not made to be a crumb.” It’s always stuck with me for its beauty, I’m glad I was able to share with you!
Happy Birthday Joanna! I, too, got happy-teary eyed reading this. I am so happy for you!
Happy Birthday, Jo! And Happy Birthday Lucy! I agree with everyone that this night looks like it was absolutely magical and thank you for sharing it – suuuuch a bright glimmer in these dark times. And thank you for shining your light so bright and using all your many talents to create and sustain this incredible community that brings so many of us out here comfort and joy! We appreciate it more than you can know xo
Happy Birthday. You deserve every drop of happiness.
Happy birthday!!! I teared up reading this of happiness – you look and sound so peaceful, glowy, and full of love. I’ve read this blog every day for the last 13 (?!) years and you have always made me look forward to and excited for every stage of life. Thank you for paving the way through your life with sparkles and warmth.
oh my gosh, J., thank you for your beautiful comment, that means so much to me.
Happy birthday, dear Joanna! I’m always so inspired by you, so I think I can say – even though I don’t know you in person – you make my life happier :)
Fellow Aquarian, and I love birthdays! For me and for everyone else and I always try to make them special, even if that means forcing people to wear paper party hats when out at a restaurant. I am not ashamed or afraid to throw a birthday party for myself! Last year was at the bowling alley, the year before that, at the roller skating rink (shared with a bunch of other birthday partiers for around ages 9-14, hah!). For my 30th, I rented an airbnb in Portland, OR and some friends came with as well as local friends and we went out dressed as flappers (not sure why) and later went on a donut crawl! For my 31st my husband rented my a ’65 yellow mustang convertible and we drove that baby from LA to Santa Barbara with the top down, which was SO FUN. This year, I’ve rented a cabin with a huge fireplace out in the mountains, fingers crossed for snow. A few friends are coming and I am planning on fondue and fireside chats all weekend long. My whole life I think I’ve had great birthdays, and I feel so lucky about that! I wish people had more birthday parties! I will always come to yours and sing for you. :-)
How fun! I didn’t get to do anything big for my 40th because it was 2022 and Covid was still more of a thing than it is now. I’m thinking I’ll do something big for my 45th in 2027.
I’m keeping this tab open on my computer to return to. What a beautiful, romantic birthday surrounded by love and your friends. Happy birthday, Joanna!
How fun…Chocolate, champagne, music and friends…what’s not to love? The green wall looks amazing! Isn’t it fun how music brings us all together? A few weeks ago at church towards the end of communion, the blue grass group was finishing up a traditional goslely hymn…then the choir director improvised and segwayed into Country Roads…and the whole congregation sang along, louder even than on the hymn. It was a magical moment. Birthday wise….I’d say every one is a gift. Getting older is a privilege denied by many, so I savor the years, the gray hair, the life experiences. I look back at my younger self and the stuff I used to stress about and just laugh.
Love this, Martha!
Oh my gosh, what a fete! This night looked so fun and you look SO joyous!!!! happy birthday!!!!
These photos!! You and Freddie look great together, and your whole crew are photogenic as well. While my default way to socialize as always been one-on-one – errands? stoop chats? I’m in – this reminds me that there’s just something about seeing your favourites assembled!
You are glowing!!!! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Lucy!
Live music at a party is a fun idea! I love your painting of the floral arrangement on a table — beautiful. Happy birthday to all, whenever it falls!
Me too! Can you share the artist? Happy birthday!!
Happiest of birthdays, Joanna. Your party brings us all some much-needed good vibes. Also, just downloaded Keira Eli’s beautiful, spectral “Weak Bites” from Spotify. Looking forward to a whole LP!
I’m so curious – did all the people at the party know each other? Random mix? How do you get people to mingle and interact that may not be part of the same “group”? This is something I’ve struggled with when having parties or attending parties.
I hear you! it’s tough if people come solo because then you sometimes feel like you have to babysit a little bit. if possible, I try to invite people so that everyone knows at least one other person. that way, they’ll have a buddy :) also, since we all live in NYC, a lot of my friends know each other through the neighborhood, work, etc, too. finally, if you’re inviting someone who doesn’t know anyone, you could tell them they could bring a friend. it’s so much easier to mingle when you know one other person!
Hello, LEGS!!! You look both 🔥 and glowy! Happy Birthday and just so happy for you. I too will turn 46 in fall and have inspired me to throw a party.
Happy birthday Joanna! For all the folks in the comments saying they’d love to have a birthday party but are worried about being the center of attention, I have the solution for you! I have become notorious in my friend group for turning my birthday into an opportunity for (friendly!) competition. Bonus points if its food related so I don’t have to worry about feeding everyone. For my 30th I did a fast-food tournament, where everyone brought in their favorite fast-food item, and we voted on the best one (the Oreo McFlurry won). Last year we did a dip tournament, and this year I’m thinking of doing a dumpling tournament. It’s great because everyone is busy tasting the food and voting, but I still get to play the birthday girl card if there’s a dispute about the rules. :) I hope these ideas are helpful to someone! I am very pro party.
Genius!
bookmarking this idea!!!! i love this! i hope 2025 is the year of hosting parties. we need more get togethers and community while the world melts.
love these suggestions! signed, someone who loves food and hates being the center of attention!
what a fun idea!
Another fun idea for those who want to celebrate but not necessarily be the center of attention: a group camping trip! I did this for several birthdays in a row and it was a great way to gather friends for a special weekend that felt more like a group hangout than all eyes on me.
Happy birthday from a fellow Aquarius :) You look so so happy!! Keira’s music is really lovely
My birthday is today! My child is home from school recovering from a fever so my plans have changed Pros: didn’t go to work, ordered croissants to be delivered from a local bakery, planning an Indian takeout feast for dinner. Cons: had to postpone our evening trip to Lunar Lunar in NYC.
happy birthday!!!
Beautiful photos, Jo, you and Freddie look so happy together. It was my birthday this week too, but so far I’ve celebrated with the flu and a sickness bug… Certainly not my best birthday ever, haha, so good to know they keep getting better :)
This post makes me so happy for you!! You and Freddie are the cutest! Does anyone say he looks like someone? Every time you post a photo, I think, he looks like someone famous but I can’t put my finger on it. I thought maybe a hotter H Jon Benjamin, but that isn’t quite right. Regardless, you make a beautiful couple! Happy birthday!
It looks amazing and such fun. Yesterday I turned 60!!!! I was dreading the whole thing but also had my favourite birthday ever. We had a relaxing day going for a walk and a light lunch but the evening surpassed my expectations. It began with the surprise arrival of my eldest child who had flown in from Belfast, then my other children arrived with a fabulous book themed cake which was just perfect, and we all went out for a delicious dinner. I too wore velvet, a deep purple velvet dress which made me feel glamorous. Such a lovely day. X
happy birthday Kay! wishing you a joyful year.
Happy birthday!!! I’ll be 46 in September, and you’ve inspired me to throw a celebration. This is the energy we need right now. We have to bring our friends and community in closer.
Happy Birthday, Jo! Thank you for sharing this joy in what was clearly a beautiful, authentic night of romance and fun! Well-deserved! So happy for you!
Happy birthday Joanna! What a beautiful way to celebrate! And I hope the festivities continue for a little while longer. I loooooove birthdays. I love celebrating other people, and I definitely love my own birthday the most! I’ve been hosting theme parties for many years now, and I look forward to them each year. I hope my friends do, too. And my birthday most definitely lasts for more than one day. :)
Thanks for inviting Keira to play at your amazing birthday party! She felt honored.
Gorgeous bday look and crew, happy birthday!
Just catching up here after a long day off screens. What a FABULOUS way to start my day today with this loveliness, both the birthday post and the comments! A total TREAT!! Joanna – happy. happy birthday, and it’s no surprise that you threw such a magical party. I’m echoing everyone in that we are thrilled for you!! I love everything – the outfit, the beard, the swan, the candlelight, the variety of drinks, the radiant faces and loving friends, and can I add, if no one has said, the music!!! Hiring a music student – beyond brilliant. I am totally copying that here in Washington, DC. Thank you for sharing your special day with us xoxo
Jo you’re GLOW-ING. I’m a recently divorced mom too but am not as far out in the process as you are. Seeing these pictures honestly gives me hope that, on the other side of this, I can glow too again. Also the way Freddie looks at you *swooooon*
Happy birthday, Joanna! Mine is also today. I am turning 38, and honestly… I can actually hardly wait to turn 40. I LOVE growing older and I’m feeling like the second half of my life will truly be the best part. I’m so glad to be post divorce and post the insecurities of being young. I am becoming more and more who I was meant to be and am finally surrounded by my true tribe of people. And also still freshly in love in an amazing relationship that I could just never have had without a decent amount of life experience. I’m determined to rock the next decades!
The birthday girl, what a babe! Love all the happiness and warmth radiating from the photos. For a friend who was going through a rough patch, we threw a surprise birthday party to cheer her up. I prepared a big glass jar, strips of paper and pens for people to write wishes, words of encouragement and affirmation, so she could pick one from the jar on days she needed a boost and a reminder that we were there for her. She loved it and said she reread those strips many times, and many people also came up to me later saying they wished they got that kind of gift as well.
Happy Birthday Joanna! Glad you had such a lovely one! I love all my birthdays and love to celebrate them as it is such a privilege to grow older. My top 3 birthday would be the following; My 18th where I went to Belgium for a weekend and my parents, my godmother and my best friend surprised me at a party that was thrown in my honour. My 30th. I celebrated with a weekend away with my Mum, my godmother, 2 surrogate “Aunties” and my sister. Lots of booze, food and laughs. Then I had a weekend away with my husband to London where I had so many steak dinners, champagne at Selfridges and caught up with a dear friend. My 40th. Although this was in lockdown year, so many people made it special. I managed a small meal out in my favourite restaurant, I had zoom nights with various friends who made such an effort, my husband paid for me to stay in a hotel in my home town to get away from the daily grind and then about 5 months later I had a night away in London with 2 of my favourite girls. Love a birthday!! Glad you had such a good time :) xx
HB!!! and oh my gosh Joanna, tha table looked so beautiful! totally stealing this idea for my next birthday, which will be the 46th next December! I experienced sg similar on my last birthday, I also have a twinsister and since we don’t live in the same city I don’t even remember when we last celebrated our birthday together! I mean on the day of the birth. But last time we decided to go for it, we asked our friends to order the same cake we always got from our parents as children (Dobos-cake) and we recreated a photo from our 14th birthday with it. Also, your friend in the amazing blue maxi dress: I can see a small friction of a scallop strap around her ankles, very intrigued, can you link her shoes? never seen such design before and it looks so pretty!
Freddie with a beard – big like :) Happy birthday Joanna, you look beautiful!
Child, seeing that man in a jacket and with that beard…. I get it now.
Happy birthday to a human exclamation point! Your glow and clear adoration from Freddie and friends are well-deserved.
Happy Birthday, Joanna & Lucy! Wishing y’all the loveliest year!
I’m an early January birthday, as is my son, so my trick is to move south of the equator so we always have summer birthdays!
Haaaaaaappy birthday to you, Jo! What a chic, intimate celebration!
I loved every word and every picture of your paper. I think this is probably one of the most beautiful piece you have wrote since I « know » you (13 years ago, when my first son was born and a friend recommended your blog) Although the decor, the details, the colors, the mood, the mousse looked so super awesome (o could literally feel the vibe from that guitar 🤭 and I am located in provence) I think that what I preferred is the pix of you squeezed by your « amoureux « because it gives you a very magical smile
one) are we getting a peak into a sitting room we’ve never seen???? two) you look SO HAPPY! Congrats and Happy Birthday, Jo! We all love you!
I also came here to comment on the sitting room–love the color! The color of the dining room is fab too… don’t remember seeing that before either. What a glam shindig! Happy bday and big hugs to Joanna and Freddie!
Fellow Aquarian! I did not know! Much love to you and thank you for sharing this party with us. I have never thrown myself a party and I need to. Tomorrow (1/31) I turn 57 and I am at so many crossroads in my life and some joy would be welcome. and p.s. That bowl of chocolate mousse would be my dream gift to myself ;-)
This whole post is Squeeeee! Happy birthday to you and your sis! And what delightful, wonderful friends you have!
This made me tear up!! The v last pic of you is the DEFINITION of happiness, being in love and deep gratitude; you’ve got stars in your beautiful eyes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for inviting us along to this wonderful party! PS: You made the best dress choice, you look awesome!
Happy birthday Joanna! I’m glad you had a wonderful time. You looked beautiful and so happy. That looks so fun , but I think I’d feel too anxious having a big party centered around me. I’d worry constantly if everyone was having a good time and feel so responsible for everyone’s happiness! Maybe when I’m a little older I’ll give less Fs and just enjoy a fun party for myself without feeling anxious or self-conscious. Maybe if I find myself a group of friends where that couldn’t be a concern. That’d be nice.
Happy Birthday, Joanna. You look so happy! Hope the year to come brings you much joy. How lovely to have live music at your party. Sounds so relaxing.
My birthday is in early January, and I never really do anything. However, this most recent one (38), I got a tattoo and bought an epic ton of my favorite chocolate and wandered around Brooklyn by myself and I think it was the best one yet.
Happy birthday! You are glowing! May you always have reasons to smile!
My mom (2/1) and my son (2/11) are both Aquariuses (pretty sure that’s right). Saturday I’m taking my mom for her first ever facial and massage. Next weekend I’m taking a minivan full of third grade boys to the Ice Cream Museum!
I am off to Paris tomorrow to celebrate my birthday! When I was young I dreamed about a birthday in Paris. So, off I go for both my today self and my younger self. Wandering the Louvre on my 40th sounds like heaven!
I thought Paris for 30 would be dreamy, but it didn’t happen, and now it is my goal for 40! I also think that sounds like heaven
Happy Happy birthday you spectacular human!! ✨