How Are You Doing?
My loves, how are you doing? I wanted to take a moment to check in. I’ve been waking up with my old friend anxiety gripping my chest, and I know many of you are feeling angst and fear and grief, alongside the ups and downs of everyday life. The world is a lot right now.
When I felt overwhelmed in my twenties, my friend Lina told me, “Give me your stress, give me your stress,” while her hands beckoned toward her, and that gesture felt so comforting. So, if you’d like, leave a comment and hand me your stress. I will gladly help hold it for you today.
And if you have little glimmers in your life right now — say, smelling spring flowers or eating a purple plum or spotting a tiny dog on the street — please share those, too.
Here are five questions, if you’d like to answer:
Something you’re looking forward to:
A worry that’s keeping you up at night:
Your current or childhood nickname:
A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading:
Something you like about yourself, big or small:
As for what made me laugh, I love that 11-year-old Anton uses the slang “cheeks,” as in “My new haircut is cheeks” or “I did cheeks on my humanities quiz.” Just a great word, to use interchangeable with “buns” (also hilarious).
And, most important, my dear friend Linsey has set up a fundraiser for children and families in Gaza, so please consider joining us in donating, if you’re able. There’s also a silent auction with some great items (many more added daily) that are starting to feel like a grown-up talent show in the best way.
Talk to me, my loves. Sending the biggest hug, and thank you so much for reading.
P.S. Just for fun, here are 10 random posts, if you’re in the mood:
* 14 things I learned by age 40
* Words to remember
* What British people say, versus what they really mean
* The hardest tongue twister
* 11 cool ways to display family photos
* An anxiety trick
* 12 readers share their meaningful tattoos
* Stories about strangers
* Cool dads
* Real actors read Yelp reviews
(Photo by Meaghan Curry/Stocksy.)
Comments
122 commentsSomething you’re looking forward to: our family trip to Telluride this summer A worry that’s keeping you up at night: both of my daughters will be at the same university, and a girl was killed there in February- I am waiting on pins and needles for the perp to get arrested. Your current or childhood nickname: Susie, short for Susannah A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Your Friends & Neighbors Something you like about yourself, big or small: I’m very curious about other people and have no problem talking to strangers
I tried to maintain optimism and activism during this time, but it’s been really hard. My 6yo is on the Autism spectrum, and every time RFK makes the news I feel like I’m having a panic attack. It literally feels like my heart is breaking. I have no glimmers right now, but I’m reminding myself they’ll come again. This won’t last forever. I do have a plea though. Please everyone who is able, please join a No Kings protest on June 14. You can sign up at nokings.org, or you can just show up at an event near you. If there’s something else you can do—maybe there’s something you’ve been considering but you’re not sure—please do it. Much love to this community <3
Your 6 y.o. son is a glimmer in the world <3
Something you’re looking forward to: The best ever tradition of the French-speaking world: Apéro! Which is basically late afternoon rosés in any sunny spot you can find. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: We are moving in a few months – will our little family be happy in our new place? Your current or childhood nickname: Duckie A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Watching Schitt’s Creek and Brooklyn 99 for some much needed kind-hearted comic relief. Something you like about yourself, big or small: My daughter. But mostly I came here for a glimmer: My gym is over a local grocery store, and from my treadmill I see all the dogs that people tie up on the bike rack outside while they pop in to grab a couple of things. The joy when their people come out! The windmilling tails! The tap-tap-tapping toes! The smile on the humans’ faces! It’s such a joy :-)
My cousin’s bachelorette weekend in Palm Springs. My first time away from my boys in years! Aging parents. Bekah/Beks. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re I am a 90’s baby watching Sex in the City for the first time! I like my thick, honey blonde hair and my intelligence.
Here are five questions, if you’d like to answer: Something you’re looking forward to: Going to LA with my husband for a few days with no itinerary. It’s close by, we’re in San Diego. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: The current state of the administration. I’m terrified. Your current or childhood nickname: Deedee. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Honeybee Biology and Beekeeping. It’s for my Master Beekeeping program. I also finished watching the second season of Andor. Something you like about yourself, big or small: My creativity.
1. Our travel budget is tight this year, but I want more time with my friends, so we’re having a sleepover this weekend, and I can’t wait to hang out in my PJs, cackling and gabbing with my girls. 2. Work – I have a big project deadline coming up in a few months, and I worry about whether I’ll have the time to get everything done. 3. Squinty (fwiw I did not pick this family nickname!) 4. Just finished reading “Know My Name” by Chanel Miller, which was heartbreaking but also beautiful and arresting. I wasn’t sure whether I’d have the bandwidth to take on this book with the grief and burnout I’m already juggling, but I’m so glad that I did. I will be thinking about this book for a long time and think that it should be required reading. 5. My capacity to love and offer space for others
a worry that keeps waking me up at night may be facing that one guy after a big argument seeing him around with someone hearing his name seeing his appearance on social media even I had block him his friends his family.
1. My husband and I will be doing a hike in the Cotswolds next month with some friends to celebrate my 50th birthday! 2. The state of our country/the world 3. JJ – my first and middle initials 4. The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus (so good!) 5. My laugh! My mom and sister say it stands out in a crowd, in the best way.
Something you’re looking forward to: The last day of the school year A worry that’s keeping you up at night: What I’ll do for work next and if I’ll meet someone Your current or childhood nickname: Emi A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Hiding in the Light Something you like about yourself, big or small: directional awareness and finding places is my superpower
Looking forward to WEARING MY NEW JEANS TO WORK: I PAINTED LITTLE WHITE STARS AND MOONS ALL OVER THEM. I WORK AT AN MBB WHERE EVERYONE CAN BE VERY SERIOUS: FUNKY CLOTHES, DIY ON DISPLAY, AND SPARKLY NAILS ARE MY WAY OF REMINDING PEOPLE WE’RE ALL HUMAN TOO, AND NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE FIRM MIGHT HAVE US THINK. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: KNOWING THAT OUR DEMOCRACY IS LOOSING ITSELF TO AUTHORITARIANISM. I THINK ITS BEEN HAPPENING LONGER THAN WE LIKE TO THINK (TO TECH BROS AND BILLIONAIRES) BUT NOW ITS REAL, AND MANY CHANGES FEEL IRREVERSABLE. I WAS IN BERLIN THIS WEEKEND AND A NUMBER OF MY GERMAN FRIENDS ASKED “WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?” AND SAID “WE’VE SEEN THIS BEFORE… ITS HILTERS PLAYBOOK.” THIS FELT VERY SCARY. BUT THEN I ALSO REMEMBERED HOW MANY PEOPLE RESISTED, SO ACTIVELY, SO BRAVELY. AND DESPITE ETROCITIES, MURDERS, CONCENTRATION CAMPS… SOMEHOW HUMANITY LEARNED BETTER. I HOPE WE CAN KEEP THAT LESSON IN MIND, AND AVOID THE SAME. Your current or childhood nickname: RIKKI A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: INTO THE MAGIC SHOP, RECOMMENDED TO ME BY CAROLINE DIFORINO, FORMERLY OF COJ! Something you like about yourself, big or small:
Could you please speak up? Hahaha.
Something you’re looking forward to: a week in Portugal, with my husband and girls A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I found out on Friday I’m pregnant and for a hundred reasons there’s a 95% chance I’ll need to end the pregnancy, which breaks my heart. Your current or childhood nickname: Pops A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Four Seasons, of course Something you like about yourself, big or small: I always have more to give, no matter how broken I feel. Something I’ll need in the next few weeks. 💔
Something you’re looking forward to: A girls trip to Montreal with two of my best friends. I recently finished my Masters while working full time in a senior leadership role. I cannot wait to spend a few days with no plans other than catching up, gossiping, wandering the streets of Montreal and lingering over wine in cozy restaurants. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: The state of the world. I live in Canada but my heart is heavy for our friends to the South. Your current or childhood nickname: Meghan Las Vegas…..my parents called me this growing up. I thought it was because I danced growing up (tap, jazz, ballet, etc.). To my horror, in my late teens they informed I was conceived in Las Vegas (!!). I shared this story a few years ago with our group of friends. Now, whenever I our group is together, my friend Pat greets me with a big, loud “Meghan Las Vegas”. LOL. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: My husband and I love nothing more then to be cozy on our couch with our dog watching a good show. Some recent faves; The Pitt (Noah Wyle…le sigh!), Your Friends and Neighbours and The Last of Us. A book I just finished that brought to me knees was Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy. I have since bought her other two books. Something you like about yourself, big or small: My willingness to trust my gut and follow my instincts. Leaning into this has brought me many good and wonderful things.
Something you’re looking forward to: Swimming, berry picking, basking in the sun in Hood River for our annual family summer trip there A worry that’s keeping you up at night: If my previous foster kids are okay, going to be okay, in their current circumstances. Your current or childhood nickname: Ren A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Pachinko. So good after having read the book. Something you like about yourself, big or small: how I figure what step can I take to make hard circumstances better for others and then try to do it. Also, my eyes :)
Hi ! I live in the SB of SB and welcome you to the area :) Thank you@
I’m looking forward to my upcoming trips to Chicago and Colorado. Seeing my friends. Spending time writing, reading, and making abstract art. My worries that keep me from not sleeping have to do with anxieties towards the future. There are no nicknames for me lol. I’m reading Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab. I like that I am learning to say no more and giving less F’s. Highly recommend the latter. Hard, but works.
Something you’re looking forward to: A new season of And Just Like That. Ice cream. A challenging knitting project. Next fall and winter and wearing sweaters and socks again (I hate summer!). A worry that’s keeping you up at night: How/if I will survive perimenopause (I’ve had extremely severe PMDD/PME in my thirties and at 39 it’s getting worse); if I will ever be able to feel ok again after the confusing and awful betrayal in my marriage and subsequent divorce I went through over the last few years – I’m scared there is something terribly wrong with how I am in relationships. Your current or childhood nickname: Lala A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Just finished the new season of Survival of Thickest and also the series of Son of A Critch – very different shows, both very good Something you like about yourself, big or small: I’m a good dancer!
Something I’m looking forward to: a trip to Japan with my husband and two girls in June. We are obsessively researching things to do and food to try and its been so fun to include them in the process. Something I’m worried about: the internet and keeping kids safe, my oldest daughter starting middle school this fall and the chronic fatigue I’ve been dealing with the last few years – will I feel like this forever?? A nickname: Bagger – because I was a grocery store courtesy clerk for my first job in highschool. Watching: The Last of Us. Reading: The Magicians Something I like about myself: I’m picky about quality and aesthetics. It drives my practical husband nuts but I can’t help myself, I love beautiful, well crafted things!! I also am a caregiver/nurturer and it’s taken me 40 years but I’m finally realizing what a valuable quality that is.
I attended the documentary “Between The Mountain And The Sky” at the IFC in the Village (until May 20th) and it lifted me up. It was about the power of love through grief and healing and giving. It shows the depths of the human condition which makes our current US woes pale in comparison. And how one woman overcame it one child at a time. I left so positive and grateful that I am going to see it again.
Yes!! So so moving! Highly recommend to all our nyc fellow readers
Belated glimmer! I was in the throes of a very crummy mood this morning when I arrived for a volunteer shift at my daughter’s middle school library. Parents sign up to chaperone during lunch periods when the library gets very full except today when I walked in, the entire library was empty. Not even the librarian was present! It was disorienting for a moment… I stood there waiting… and I looked around and fully absorbed the quiet hush and the orderly shelves and the smell of all the books and the idea of all the middle schoolers who have passed through… I experienced a rush of wonder and amazement at all the seasons of life. Youth! Middle School! Jobs! Parenthood! Life! SOB. It was a beautiful moment and it filled me with peace. And then the librarian flushed the toilet and came out of the bathroom, haha. XO
-Looking forward to a trip to Vegas with my boyfriend to celebrate the end of the school year (we are both teachers! 😅) -Worried about our country, and the state of education, and the next few months as I navigate moving forward with divorce -Little was my childhood nickname- I’m very petite. -I am watching the righteous gemstones! -I like my free spirited personality, I don’t take things too seriously, I’m relentlessly optimistic and go with the flow, and always up for something fun!
Not doing great, honestly. I live in D.C. (i.e., in the belly of the beast) and I was recently laid off from my nonprofit job, a downstream impact of the assault on foreign aid. I have a new mortgage and feel very committed to staying in D.C., but my job search is making me despondent. I’m dealing with some mild depression and having a hard time getting out of bed some days, which is abnormal for me. Something you’re looking forward to: Upcoming travel to Phoenix, a canoeing trip on the Potomac, and the UK. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: How am I going to pay my mortgage? Will this condo be my downfall? Your current or childhood nickname: LC, short for Elsie, which is what people would call me when they misread my actual name, which is Elise. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: An Elderly Lady Must Not be Crossed, a collection of short stories about a Swedish octogenarian named Maud with a *really* dark side. This is the sequel to An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good. Both are so great. Something you like about yourself, big or small: I have a really distinctive laugh, and I’m really expressive. Since I was a teenager people have told me I “talk with [my] eyes.”
Sending you a big hug, Elise. I’m in DC too, and it’s tough to see the impact of this administration on so many people who were committing their lives toward the betterment of the world. Hang in there!
Former foreign aid worker here sending you lots of solidarity, Elise
Something you’re looking forward to: -Painting my nails tomorrow with Sheer Fantasy, I finally ordered it after coveting it ever since i saw it on Gisella of the seashell ring fame in 2022! Worry that’s keeping you up at night: -Releasing people from their jobs. My head knows it’s the necessary business decision and my heart bleeds so bad at losing work friends who have been beside me for many years. Trying to do this as gently as I can. I’m myself overworked, overwhelmed, looking for glimmers and joy in small things. Your current or childhood nickname: -Pumps/pumpkin, from my closest childhood friend (the kindest soul ever) who has moved two continents away and I am now weepy at the thought of just seeing him once every few years the rest of my life. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: -Poem by Christina Stoddard, Shear, took my breath away today. Something you like about yourself, big or small: -I feel so human right now in all my endeavors, awareness of my limitations, my vulnerabilities and nursing my hope for peace in our world in the near future.
1 Looking forward to cozying up with my family for popcorn and movie night 2 Worried that my beautiful child is experiencing the same sense of not belonging that I did/do 4 Late to the game but loving Ted Lasso 5 Love that I turned a pretty barren little yard into a beautiful green space
I’m just going to answer one, the TV show I’m watching: FOREVER on Netflix. It’s based on the Judy Blume teen romance book, but it’s a modern retelling, (featuring a Black cast) and it’s so cute and sweet and charming, and I love watching it and relating to both the teens (recalling that butterfly feeling of crushes and first love) and as a 40 year old mom, to the parents. Highly recommend!
So many of these responses have made me feel sane and in solidarity, which itself is comforting. Something you’re looking forward to: warmer weather and gardening season A worry that’s keeping you up at night: if we’ll have a salvageable democracy in 4 years Your current or childhood nickname: my best friend calls me ‘Easy B’, which I both hate and love A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Hacks/Americanah Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like that I try to grow and change and heal
Something you’re looking forward to: 4th of July in Maine (with cooler temps than we get where I live so I’ll actually want to be outside!) A worry that’s keeping you up at night: navigating screen boundaries and the scary world of the internet (and porn) with two teenage boys Your current or childhood nickname: Biscuit A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: rewatching My So-Called Life for the 500th time because it’s a comfort and the best ever Something you like about yourself, big or small: Like a pseudo iron chef, I’ll think we have nothing for dinner but after poking around I can bust out something awesome
Something you’re looking forward to: the end of middle school A worry that’s keeping you up at night: the end of middle school – I can’t believe my son will be going to high school in the fall. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes Your current or childhood nickname: “Scrat” (the squirrel-like character from the movie Ice Age) A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: My husband and I are big Survivor fans. We look forward to it every week. And yes, I realize how old and boring that makes me sound Something you like about yourself, big or small: my ability to live with balance in all things…most of time
Sarah, Survivor rules! I watched it as a preteen and then reconnected with it a few years ago. This season has been fantastic! I’m one step away from getting matching buffs for my whole family. Enjoy!
I used to watch Survivor while I worked out in the morning – a little motivation should I ever think to apply. My 8 year old started wandering into the garage and got very interested. Now he demands that I wait for the weekend so we can watch together! Rachel… I’m going to order buffs for stocking stuffers, thank you for the glimmer!
Something you’re looking forward to: Driving home and listening to a David Dimbleby podcast about this history of free market economics. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I quit my job 5 months ago because it sucked and I needed a career pause, my first intentional career break. I still don’t really know what kind of job I want next, and I am trying not to sit in too much fear and anxiety while figuring it out. Your current or childhood nickname: Mama A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I am soothing my soul with the latest season of Queer Eye Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like that I value beauty – I seek it out in my life all the time. I find it everywhere.
I admire your decision to quit your job. I’m 59. After 40 years of sitting in an office chair my body is screaming for me to get out of that chair, and I keep ignoring it.
I have been saving up for an intentional pause too! And I also have no idea what else I would do. The idea of actually quitting really scares me, but I also feel like I’m at a dead-end, and I don’t know how I’ll ever really figure it out while I’m consumed with the day-to-day stress of my current job. Argh!
I am so curious about the career pause: just read an article about it in the NY Times not long ago and am seriously considering something like that for myself. I figure the time to do it is while I still like my field–though not my current job–and *before* I’m totally burn out. Anyone know of other accounts/resources about this? (or anyone at COJ want to take it on as an article topic)?
I also quit my job and for the next 6 or so month do whatever I feel I want doing (I saved up for it). It took me 4 years to make this leap. There was always some insecurity (life, Ukraine, wars, politics etc.) where I thought: Let’s wait until this is over and then…but I realised that this is not a way to live. So I still have bouts of wtf did I do but more: it is good to not sit in front of a computer all day long and feel this pressure, but seeing friends, helping, learning or just doing nothing. I wish us all luck and that we can bask in our decisions to try sth new. :)
Such a timely post (as always). I woke feeling mad at everything (the radio played a song I don’t like this morning and this felt like a personal attack haha). Reading the comments brought me so much joy and calm. Something I am looking forward to: my sister arrives tonight to spend the weekend with me. We will hang and chat and eat and do nothing special which is so special. A worry that’s keeping me up at night: the state of the world, my toddler teething again, do all my friends secretly hate me? My current nickname: my brother texted me calling me by my childhood’s nickname “Zazou” and my heart melted A TV show I’m watching: Hacks, late to the party but I love it! Something I like about myself, big or small: realizing that I’m much stronger than I thought
You made me laugh out loud with a song you didn’t like being played as a personal attack. Yes, this. Thank you for the laugh.
Jody, all your friends do not secretly hate you! I am certain ❤️
i’m having a rough time with a 9 week old baby as a first time geriatric mum, crying often dealing with breast and nipple pain and seemingly endless days of baby’s crying and pooping. everyone says things will get better, that it’s all worth it, so i’m really hoping they’re all right about that. thankful for small moments when he smiles and coos at me, but boy it’s hard work right now!
Esme, hang in there! OH the breastfeeding pain that made my toes curl – I remember tears just streaming down my face. You are not making up how hard this phase can be. You can do it!!!
Oh Esme. Sending you warmth and comfort. I hope you can carve out a moment (even just 60 seconds to drink a glass of water) for yourself every day. And we don’t have to call ourselves geriatric! You are worthy and perfect now.
Esme, you are doing such a wonderful job and this is such a challenging time. You mentioned breast and nipple pain – I’m wondering if you have been getting lactation support from a professional? With my second baby, I developed intense nipple pain that was *not* normal and ultimately started a medication (pantoprolol, I think?) that made it go away. I’m no expert, but don’t think that breastfeeding should still be painful at 9 weeks :/ Please talk to your provider or lactation consultant if you haven’t already. Breastfeeding isn’t always, but can be, a beautiful and enjoyable even relaxing experience, but not when it’s painful! I’ll be thinking of you.
Oh geez – also – PERMISSION TO STOP BREASTFEEDING! If it’s not working for you <3 Whatever allows you to ENJOY your baby and this time, is the best thing for mom & baby.
It is so hard! I have now been through chemo and radiation and three c-sections, and I STILL rate breastfeeding pain as tops. You are doing great! ❤️ And…it does get better.
Esme, fed is best. I know I needed someone to tell me it was okay not to do it. I am telling you that. Do what works for you and your baby. You will be happier.
It will change and you will move on through this phase. As a first-time grandmother, watching my daughter navigate the first months of being a mum, I was reminded of these very early weeks when the world has turned upside-down. It will pass. You will sleep. So will he. Hold the line!
Nipple pain is horrible. I’m not sure if anyone else has recommended them to you but hydrogel pads (that you put in between your bra and nipple) saved me. I’m not sure if they have a different name in other countries (I’m in Australia) but they did help immensely. Sold at the chemist/pharmacy.
Oh Esme, no matter how you do it, those first months with a new baby are HARD. Everyone’s hard is a little different. While it WILL get better, just because you get to know your baby and the whole baby care job/ life, things will always be hard in some way. My kids are 26 and 28, and it can be hard. Still. Loving so much comes with hard. It just does. If you deeply want to breastfeed, for whatever reason, that’s very valid and you’ve got this. I think things will ease up. Definitely seek help if you think things are outside the range of normal (they might be, it’s impossible to tell from here). If you are wanting to feed another way, that’s so ok. It really truly is. You’ve already done so much. And at the end of the day, it’s the love your precious baby feels that matters the very most, and it’s so clear he’s very loved. I hope you are able to take a moment to breathe. Look at the sky. Savor a chocolate or a coffee or an apple. I hope you can remember that you are still there, and you are wonderful, it can be so easy to lose yourself right now. You will find you again, if that’s the case. Hugs.
Something you’re looking forward to: summer fruit, a few weeks off from work (I work in education) to focus on planning for the next year, some one-to-one time with my teenager (if he lets me, haha) A worry that’s keeping you up at night: So many. The cost of everything and juggling finances as a single parent, worrying over how to increase my income, the blatant injustice in this world, the suffering in Gaza, global tension, India Pakistan tension, keeping our young ones safe, my elderly mother., my teenager Too much anxiety. I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Modern Family and Downton Abbey all over again. Researching Mughal History and re-reading favourite Mary Stewart books. That’s all the bandwith I have these days. Something you like about yourself, big or small: Can’t think of anything. How lousy is that?!!
I’m going to play before I read. I need the outlet. I’m looking forward summer. I’m a teacher and, if I stand on a metaphorical chair, I can see relief from most of my stress from here. I’m worried about one of my students in particular who was recently hospitalized. He’s having a really rough time and I don’t like it, to put it mildly. I’m worried about getting all my work done before the end of the school year without losing my mind. I’m also trying to move and housing where I live is sparse and not terribly affordable. I’m holding out for laundry and a dishwasher. Cross your fingers for me. My childhood nickname was Blondie. I have to show people pictures to get them to believe me. I’m reading The Insufferable Gaucho by Roberto Bolaño and so, so many 12th grade research essays. I may perish from these. A colleague recently told me that I am “fierce, but never mean.” That feels like a pretty good thing to be.
Something you’re looking forward to: The weekend……I’m hitting the Korean Spa, aka “The Naked Lady Spa” and a craft fair! A worry that’s keeping you up at night: As a teacher, I worry about the things kids are exposed to that no one under the age of 18 should know about, and the impact it has on students of all ages. Your current or childhood nickname: My dad called me Fern; He thought I looked like Fern Farkle on the Farkle Family on Laugh In….I’m dating myself! A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Just finished Frida & Kate…a lovely story of female friendship told in letters…I mean who didn’t have a favorite Lip Smacker flavor? Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like that I speak my mind respectfully, without remorse or apology!
Something you’re looking forward to: A plan-free weekend at home <3 After 5 consecutive weekend seeing family, which was lovely (and tiring), I'm ready to chill A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Whether I'm where I need to be in life. Whether I'll miss out on being a parent. Your current or childhood nickname: Sunny A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: The Four Seasons Something you like about yourself, big or small: My kindness, empathy, and patience
Sad about a sick friend. Sad that this spring has been, and still is, so cold. Sad the Dems have no direction. Sad im not healthy. Sad my team lost in the NBA playoffs. Grateful our best player is motivated for next year and dedicated to the city and his teammates. Love that Pete Buttigieg is pushing for the Dems to do better. I watched his town hall in Iowa and it was heartening. Highly recommend.
Aimee, reading through your comment on “sad the dems have no direction” I thought of responding “feeling a glimmer of hope from pete buttigieg tho!” and then saw your last line! We need someone inspiring to rally behind, and I think he and AOC are it, but I’m also worried it’s not enough. And I’m also sad it’s still so cold. where is the sun!?
I’m anxious about being a new supervisor to my wildland fire crew. Keeping them paid, learning, and coming home safe feels like a LOT sometimes, especially as a female in such a male dominated space.
As a resident of The West, thank you, bless you, may mother nature keep you and your crew safe. Words cannot express what it means to be able to sleep at night (esp in a tent far in the back country in August in a dry year with lightning striking all around) knowing crews like yours will keep us safe. You are right that you have an enormous, tremendous responsibility. But you know what? You’ve earned it. That position is yours because you are qualified to keep those kids alive, and you will. I have every confidence in you. Give em hell Katrina.
Something you’re looking forward to: northern MN cabin season A worry that’s keeping you up at night: if more layoffs are on the horizon at my tiny company and trying to conceive post miscarriage Your current or childhood nickname: banana, goose A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: watching Southern Hospitality (mindless!) and reading Emily Henry’s latest (smart!) Something you like about yourself, big or small: my affinity for old things
Something you’re looking forward to: My bachelorette party in 2 weeks with some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Getting a new job before the economy tanks. Your current or childhood nickname: Banana A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson is DELIGHTFUL Something you like about yourself, big or small: I love my curly hair
Something you’re looking forward to: I’m going away for the weekend to celebrate a friend’s birthday in the mountains. I’m a little nervous about bringing my 2 year old on a friends trip, but I loooove going away for the weekend so I’m excited. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I want to have a second child, ideally in the next year, but I’m a contractor worker and I’m uncertain of if/when I’ll be able to become staff. Is it stupid to hold off on having a baby due to economic uncertainty? Is it stupid to just pull the trigger and do it, consequences be damned? I have no idea and I think about it all the time. Your current or childhood nickname: My childhood nickname is “rootabegga,” like the vegetable. My family is big on nicknames and rhyming. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I’m late to the game, but I’ve been getting caught up on “Station Eleven” on HBO Max. It’s devastating, but such a beautiful story. Something you like about yourself, big or small: My ability to be vulnerable and to get in deep with people. I love the human experience, and I love when people open up and tell me their secrets, their stresses, about their families. I love an over-sharer, I feel like it’s one the best ways to bond.
Looking forward to – going to New York over Memorial Day weekend to see Good Night and Good Luck with George Clooney AND go to the renovated Frick Museum! Worry – I was just told my contract for my job isn’t being renewed for next year so as of the last day of July I will be without a job. I just started this job last August 1st and I love it – as recently as mid-April my supervisor was telling me I was fine and then BOOM budget crisis at the school and because I was last in I am first out. Didn’t want to be interviewing again so soon and I am 54 – thought this would be my last school. Ugh. Nickname-didn’t have one – my name is pretty short! TV show/book-just finished All that is Mine I carry with Me by William Landay, now halfway through Penitence by Kristen Koval. Both super good. Next up Original Sins by Eve L. Ewing – how the America school system is built from the beginning to disadvantage black, brown and native children. Like about myself-I grew my hair out and it’s finally where I want it, I have nice skin – I always took decent care of my skin and it has paid off. That’s a small thing. Bigger thing – the past four years have been difficult and I know that even though I am not loving having to interview again and will miss this job, no one is irreplaceable, and something will unfold, so I like that I am not frantic. Worried yes, but normal worried, not frantic.
I am excited to become a reading tutor for Literacy Chicago. I will complete my training on Saturday and will then be matched with an adult who needs assistance learning to read. One of my ongoing worries is the cruelty that emerges from the current president’s administration. My nickname is Kay-Kay, a name given to me by my nieces and nephews, and it has stuck with me ever since. I am currently watching “Etoile” for the second time on TV. I never realized how much I enjoy watching ballet, and now I really want to visit Paris, too. A good thing about me is that I am working to give back to my community.
Oh Katy adult literacy is one of THE most rewarding experiences! Im a volunteer through my city’s program with the library, it where my grandma learned to read in her 50’s and now I support adult learners!
Looking forward to: Warmer days in Seattle. The flowering trees have been giving me life, but I am pining for lake swims with my girls Keeping me up at night: I’m working on a new AI product that is technically and ethically complex. It is quite consuming and I need to remember to make time for myself (and my poor husband). Nickname: budsy, Anny pants, pants, ALC Books: Killers of a certain age and Kills well with others- it’s James Bond meets golden girls. Like about self: my openheartedness
I read and loved Killers of a Certain Age. I have Kills Well With Others in my stack to read.
looking forward to: finding out my son’s SAT score (he’s SO smart) a worry: nothing in particular, but I feel overwhelmed with the amount of yardwork out back. nickname: BL. Not my initials…a silly name given to me by my husband years ago. A TV show you’re watching: we’re rewatching Breaking Bad with our 17 year old and really enjoying it (our 3rd time) Something you like about yourself: I somehow manage to get everything done…keeping the household, work and four kids going. There have been no disasters yet! And I have good teeth.
Girl, I feel you on that amount of yardwork out back. My yard is a jungle and it’s already in the 90s where I live. I try to do a little bit every other day.
I’m a librarian, so I’m trying not to spiral while still providing good customer service to our patrons. A library in our cooperative just had 5 of 8 staff quit together in solidarity against a vindictive library board that was overstepping and harassing staff; IMLS being shut down (prayers that the lawsuit works but it’s hard to hold on to hope); conservative legislators in my area banding together to push down Right to Read bills; mean and nasty comments from ignorant people about library staff in general. I know there is so much going on in the world, but the two causes I care deeply about and work for are public libraries/ literacy, and mental health awareness/ assistance. My own mental health has been struggling a lot in the past year and a half, and I just can’t stop letting people down. That being said, I do love these quiz-lets, CoJ team! It’s so lovely to read everyone’s comments, like popping bubble wrap next to a fireplace while listening to a favorite record. Something you’re looking forward to: Visiting my bff a few states over in July, and getting to know her two littles as people, since they can have conversations and their personalities have evolved a ton since seeing them in 2023. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: What DOESN’T, at this point? Your current or childhood nickname: Skippy, from childhood. Always loved to skip, and the PB. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: The Pitt, and All the Beauty in the World by Patrick Bringley Something you like about yourself, big or small: I have a system for keeping track of everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries (happy or sad), etc and send messages and cards for everything.
What is your system!!!???
Thank you for your service as a librarian! Librarians should be beloved in their community, not harassed.
@jul , I’m in West Michigan. And thank you so much @sam !
Something you’re looking forward to: Summer in Philadelphia and being outside in the warm sun! A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I am currently grieving ending my 6 year long relationship from the person I thought I was going to marry. So just the grief from that keeps me up at night. Your current or childhood nickname: Monkey A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: How to Find Love in a Bookshop. Charming, enchanting, and sucked me right in! Something you like about yourself, big or small: My smile
How do you deal with something like this? My person left me for someone else and im still reeling after 1.5 years.
Something you’re looking forward to: Going to the library and 2028. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I have a running list of worries — all to do with the state of our nation (USA). Name it, I’m worried about it. Your current or childhood nickname: sambo. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: TV show: Sherlock Holmes on the BBC. I love that show. Books I’m reading: Just finished “Everything is Tuberculosis” and “Wild Dark Shore.” Been reading and still reading a mammoth: “G-Man: J. Edgar Hoover and The Making of the American Century.” On hold at the library waiting to be picked up this afternoon: “The Names.” Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like that I like to read (reading opens up tons of conversation between me and the guy I work with). I like that I’m curious without being nosy.
Wonderful post Doing? Much anxiety, and mixed in with heartache that I have no grand graduation gift or a chance to be there. I then tell myself to just do what I can.
Thank you, Jo. I’m really enjoying The Equalizer tv show on Netflix, with Queen Latifah just saving the world with great hair and makeup. It makes me happy that they always catch the bad guy by the end of each episode. Also my boyfriend is very beautiful and very, very sweet and just being around him is a glimmer every single day! It’s so fun to make him laugh. Yay us!
First, a glimmer: walking my neighborhood every day and enjoying all the spring flowers! First the lilacs, then the wisteria, then the peonies, and now honeysuckle coming out. I love spring! Something you’re looking forward to: using the power washer on our patio/outdoor furniture this weekend A worry that’s keeping you up at night: aside from ::waves hands:: everything, I’m also specifically worried about losing my job (I’m a fed) and they’re making it easier and easier to fire us for no reason Your current or childhood nickname: Court, Court Sport, Snorts (I snort when I laugh!) (that’s just my BFF) A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: currently rewatching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel as my colonscopy prep/receovery Something you like about yourself, big or small: this is too much pressure right now tbh
if it feels overwhelming to answer the last q (which I totally get), I’ll answer it for you! you know a lot of different flowers! you are handy around your house with the power washer! you sound like a great partner in that way, and I’m sure many others. in your career, you do important work. your laugh sounds extremely adorable and endearing, and you clearly delight your loved ones. you take good care of yourself even when it’s uncomfortable (colonoscopy) and you have good taste in TV :) sending lots of love your way, Court Sport. xoxo
Tearing up, what a sweet and insightful reply.
Joanna, this is my favorite reply to a comment I have ever seen in internet history. And, Courtney, it’s because it all rings true!
Joanna best reply on the internet!
Can we feature Joanna’s reply comment for comment of the week!!!
Jo your response to this commenter, so thoughtful and kind… it’s fine I was already planning to cry this morning anyway :)
Thank you for this post, Jo. I am really struggling right now; started a new job in academia in January (not tenure-track but functionally so), and between the stress of the expectations of the new job, the goverment destroying the NSF, hunting for an apartment, and being long-distance with my husband until he can move to join me, I feel like I’m barely managing and have spent the first half of the work day in a low-grade panic every day this week. I’m really, really looking forward to my husband moving out here, which should happen at the beginning of June, yay!
Something you’re looking forward to: 10 days off work and a sweet, little 4-night trip to Santa Fe. Just me, the open road and my doggies. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Feeling like it’s time to make some sort of change, but unclear what it is. Your current or childhood nickname: Nobody nicknamed me, sadly. Though I did have a cute tennis teacher who called me Happy Joe’s because of this old thrift store shirt I had that advertised some place called Happy Joe’s. That made me happy. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Watching yet another season of Traitors. Rewatching second season of “And Just Like That” in anticipation of the third season. Reading Chelsea Handler’s new book and rereading “The Bell Jar.” Something you like about yourself, big or small: I’m a journalist and people I interview tell me I ask good questions. I like that.
Oof this post got me today. I’m not doing *the best* right now (I told my mom last night that I feel like I’m actively drowning in a pool while everyone stands on the sidelines drinking a cocktail, ugh!) AND I know it will get better AND it’s still really hard. Something I’m looking forward to: swimming for sinking rings in the pool with my 8-year old at the neighborhood pool this summer. I turned 40 this year, but when I’m underwater making silly faces with my kids, I still feel like a mermaid girl myself. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I have a really difficult client right now. She’s mean, she’s brash, she jokes that she’s beating me up (but it’s not a joke!) She pays really well, but it’s not worth it. I need to find a way to either complete my contract with her while keeping my mental health intact or extricate myself early, financial impact be damned. I spiral all night long. Your current or childhood nickname: My kids are learning pig-latin, so lately I’ve been called “Om-May” and it’s so sweet. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Savoring every little moment of “The Residence” when we are awake enough to watch a show at night! Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like how hard I try. I’ve got real Hermione Granger energy and I used to be embarrassed about that, but now I can say “I’m such a try hard!” with a lot of laughter and love for myself. I’m rarely daunted and in this season of life, that’s a good thing. Extra comment/question for this big hearted, brilliant hive: Does anyone have a professional organizer or systems, family rhythms person they really love? Could be someone to hire or someone to just watch on youtube, but I feel like we’re drowning in disorganization. The only family system we have on lock is menu planning. We are provisioned for healthy meals every week, it’s budget-friendly, easy to execute and seamless. But I need more systems like that for organization, for cleaning, for decluttering, for how to handle the weird hours between school letting out and dinner. I’d just love to know what others do – I’m at a loss and it’s leading to my chaotic feelings lately. Thank you for any advice!!
This is a great question. I could also use help with this! Our kids are doing more this spring than they have in the past and while it’s fun, it also feels very chaotic, rushed and messy all around!
I recently came across Dana K White. “A slob comes clean” Her system is so so simple and basic and you can start implementing it at once, from the first day! She is religious, which only shows in her last/newest book and her podcast, which might not be for everyone; but her first three books and coaching and blog are all so down to earth and so basic and helpful! She is walking the talk and trying out everything.
A few recommendations: There is a book by KC Davis – How to Keep House While Drowning. It’s awesome. I’m not naturally organized but she has this section in the book where she breaks down cleaning a room to four things – trash, dishes, things that have a place and things that don’t have a place. When I’m don’t feel like cleaning, I tell myself the four categories and the room always looks better in 15 minutes or so. The Minimal Mom on Youtube is also a good follow. She deals more with extreme decluttering so you have less stuff to begin with when you go to organize. And if you’d be interested in paying for and downloading a class, check out Shira Gill.
Just a small one, but one of my favorite organizing tips to keep in mind is: “Put the thing where you use the thing.” ! An organizer friend always said that. Seems obvious but SO helpful. And you can use it to make changes easily, in a small way. (Why DO we keep the sharpie and lables in the office when we always need them in the kitchen? Or whatever it is.)
@kayleenkellyorganize is great to follow on instagram. she specializes in systems for people with ADD, but is great for everyone.
I love following the lazy genius with her ideas for rhythms/habits/decluttering/etc. and her realness and honesty
Surveys and fill-ins are my stress relief! Something you’re looking forward to: A work+fun trip to the SF Bay area next week. Go B’s! A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Work overwhelm, plus, you know, the end of democracy Your current or childhood nickname: The Daphinator (long story) A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: A Power Unbound (third in a magical queer romance trilogy. Love!) Something you like about yourself, big or small: My hair is having a good moment at this time in my life.
Something you’re looking forward to: Seeing my garden grow, and our mini summer getaways A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I can’t think of anything in particular- but I try to block things out at bedtime. Your current or childhood nickname: Jules, only my very dear friends call me this, and I love it A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I’m watching L’Agence (AKA Parisian Agency on Netflix). I LOVE seeing the beautiful French properties, and the family is so fun. Currently reading Emily Henry’s new book. Something I like about myself: I’m strong
Something I’m looking forward to and is also keeping me up at night: planning a move across state lines and starting a new, fully remote job. Also setting up house by myself (with pup) in a small house for the first time and feeling vulnerable. Something I like about myself: I’m learning to change what’s not working and build the life I want.
Congrats on the big (but scary!) move and making changes to build the life you want! You’re doing a brave thing. Wanted to recommend the Diana Ross song “It’s My House” when you need a boost.
Jess, I’m in the same boat…moving across the country (with no where currently to land) and pushing away that overwhelmed feeling. I’m trying to tell myself, I’ve done it before, I can do it again, I’ve come out stronger and better for it. It’s nice to hear someone else is going through it too…let’s paddle together :)
@Katie Jameson – adding to my playlist now! I loved her look at the Met Gala <3 @Kirstin – You've got this!! I started a list of little things I'm looking forward to when I'm settled, if that helps. Like having pancakes in my new place in my pajamas on a Saturday morning.
Something you’re looking forward to: learning to dig clams and oysters with a county educational program this weekend. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Nothing keeps me up at night; I am a meditation teacher, and many years of practice allow me to handle my worries well. I am worried for… well, all of us, now: oligarchy, fascism, the normalization of genocide and ecocide. Whew. Your current or childhood nickname: My younger siblings called me Sissy before they could speak well. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I am reading Francis Spufford’s Catahokia Jazz and I am HOOKED. A thoughtful noir detective novel set in an alternative 1920’s in which the indigenous people of this land are thriving. Something you like about yourself, big or small: This week I listened to myself on a podcast. It was my first time . A colleague invited me on his to celebrate the 30th anniversary of our yoga teaching practice. We spoke on big topics, including cultural appropriation in yoga, being ministers, and sexual impropriety by the founder of the lineage in which we met. I was tickled to find that I quite liked myself!
What is the podcast? it sounds great
I LOVE these! Here’s me :) I’m looking forward to: Working out on my front porch in the good weather! We call it the Lido Deck and I love to drag my laptop outside, soak up the sun, and watch the world go by. What keeps me up at night: Inflamed joints! But I try to deal with equanimity, ice packs, and my endless TBR stack. My nickname: My family calls me Bunny… and my son coined a saying – “A Bunny Day is always a good idea.” It’s cute if you also speak French :) Current TV and books: To fend off world anxiety I’m currently bingeing Agatha Christie, working through novels I haven’t read since I was a child and enjoying the BBC Miss Marple series. Now I aspire to spend my golden years wearing tweed and Wellies and tending my garden (despite being a sweats wearing inveterate plant killer). Something I like about myself: My persistence. In the last five years we’ve lost all four parents to cancer, dealt with two estates, shepherded our child through pandemic high-school and into university, sorted a new career direction for me (having traded mine for palliative duties), dealt with my own chronic illness, and managed to stay afloat! There are a lot of mental resets, but above all else I strive for optimism. I always have high hopes for tomorrow :)
DebPS, some things I like about you are that you are funny and smart. Thanks for making me giggle out loud about being a sweats wearing inveterate plant killer. Same.
I got a raise at work in the winter and used some of it to book a solo 4 day printmaking workshop http://www.snowfarm.org, which starts next Thursday evening! It felt like such a selfish luxury when I booked it but the world feels so heavy I know it will be but such a joy to try out a new medium and have devoted and uninterrupted time for creativity. I cannot wait. Keeping me up at night… the state of our country, obviously. I vacillate between concerns about everyone else (as a middle aged, able bodied white women in a double income household with no children of my own I think I will probably be ok) and concerns about the future of my chosen professional field (I work in an art museum) and the general de-valuing of cultural institutions… My nickname is Em or Emmy (my nieces and nephews call me Auntie Emmy). I’ve been enjoying North of North. The arctic landscape is beautiful and it’s fascinating to learn about a culture i know nothing about. Something I like about myself- my highly collaborative spirit!
Something you’re looking forward to: I am turning 50 in one week and am going to Spain for 3 weeks with family to celebrate! My mom is putting my father into respite (he has dementia) and my sister are coming to visit for my actual birth date. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: As many people have stated, the state of the world keeps me awake. Trump threatening to make Canada the 5st state, tariffs and cost of living (very grateful to have stable employment) and the upcoming fire and smoke season (I hate it so much). Your current or childhood nickname: Meiks A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I just finished watching all of “Shrinking” and I love it so much. I recently read Radicalized by Cory Doctorow and it so eerily depicts recent events accurately, kind of disturbing actually. Something you like about yourself, big or small: I am goin to be vain, and say that I have great legs. I find it very difficult still (I thought I would be over this by now) to look at my own body positively. My legs look great and are great as they allow me do everything I love, like hiking and skiing.
past nicknames: Kristalina, Kripalina, Ritalina, Rit. Bisty. Bippy. Bip. Kristy Bean. Kristina Beana. Krispy. Kristina Marina Grobina. Little Girl. The Neverending Forehead. (this doesn’t include the songs my siblings made, of course. and yes, somehow I’m the oldest) Looking forward to: making pesto with the basil flourishing in the backyard. adding fresh dill to my chickpeas. worried about: going to the dentist. and, well, as everyone else has said, everything
Something you’re looking forward to: Seeing an old friend for dinner this weekend. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Aside from the state of the world, the company I lead has a board meeting tomorrow. Your current or childhood nickname: My dad, who turns 76 tomorrow, calls me Bo. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: “My Friends” by Fredrik Backman, one of my absolute favorite authors. Something you like about yourself, big or small: The work I’m doing in therapy. Also, I’ve gotten much better at my air-dry wavy hair routine recently.
Halfway through My Friends and loving it so much!!
I’m glad I took the time to read every post! There is so much support and caring. What a blessing this community is. Something you’re looking forward to: Attending summer concerts with my son (because he invited me and treated) A worry that’s keeping you up at night: My parents living on the west coast while I’m on the east coast. At 90, Mom still drives and while my folks are still independent thinkers, minor (so far) accidents are more frequent. I worry. Your current or childhood nickname: Even though my name was very unusual in 1958 and far more common today, I have always answered to Hill. Hillary was code for serious attention. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I just purchased a yr of. Britbox during their sale promo and digging it! Summer beach reads include the next one by Taylor Jenkins Reid called, Atmosphere. Something you like about yourself, big or small: Lately, I’m enjoying more ME time. No summer guests at the cabin this season and I’m very happy for the hosting break. I like that I can comfortably lower tasks. It took me a good while after retiring to tone down to do lists.
Something you’re looking forward to: Eating an ice cream cone at the dairy bar in my hometown. It’s a real nostalgic thing for me, and now my daughter looks forward to it, too. Only 7 weeks to go! A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I’m trying to buy a home, and the choices in my price range are dismal. Also, my dad is aging and – well, life in the middle of the sandwich ain’t easy! A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I enjoyed Ludwig recently – lots of drinking tea while solving crimes, a genre that someone identified down thread and which I also enjoy. Something you like about yourself, big or small: I’m not afraid to change my mind when new information presents itself.
Walking around the new neighborhood and the number of people who stop to smell the roses is wonderful. They actually stop and smell the roses – men, women, children – big and small. Also, the coffee and pastries and bread… they’re everywhere in Germany, I forgot how abundant it feels. It doesn’t feel like this guilty thing to hide or indulge in, it’s just… there for your taking or leaving, anytime. Delightful.
Something you’re looking forward to: seeing my friend’s babies this weekend. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: what are we doing?!? Like HOW did we get here!! Your current or childhood nickname: My dad calls me K. It makes so me happy. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Anyone else watching All Stars? Loveee Bosco! Something you like about yourself, big or small: I’m very optimistic and my faith keeps me grounded.
Andrea: It does seem surreal. Truly — how did we get here? I wonder that every day.
Sending love to everyone.. Something you’re looking forward to: We just moved to Germany (my husband is German), and I’m looking forward to the first weekend when there is no furniture to build and we can just wander around, see the castle, and delight in our new environment. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: Oh, so much, the state of the world, and particularly the U.S., is really scary. But if I’m being really honest… my dad has pretty much stopped talking to me because of our move. He thinks we just “didn’t work hard enough” to stay in America. There’s so much judgment there, and vitriol. He’s a flawed person, we all are, but he’s my dad. I’m so hurt that this has been his response. Because we made a decision he wouldn’t make/can’t understand. I’m trying to let it be and overall, doing okay with it (thank you therapy and long walks) but it still sucks. Your current or childhood nickname: childhood… “Miss. Marie” A TV show you’re watching or a book you’re reading: Rewatching Ted Lasso because I need it. Something you like about yourself, big or small: I like that I stay curious, I like that I didn’t let the judgment seep into my life the way it did his.
Something you’re looking forward to: trying a new bar this weekend with a friend A worry that’s keeping you up at night: the organization where I work as a new leader and she is making BIG changes, so everything feel unstable right now Your current or childhood nickname: Janie or Snooks (what my dad called me) A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I just finished “The Four Seasons” on Netflix, which I really liked, and I’m currently reading Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll Something you like about yourself, big or small: my ability to empathize/sympathize with others
Something you’re looking forward to: being back home in the foreign country where I live after being back home for a month, as weird as that feels A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I rarely have trouble sleeping but my professional future is a constant worry Your current or childhood nickname: a special someone calls me cuchi A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I’m about to finish Natalia Ginzburg’s Todos nuestros ayeres Something you like about yourself, big or small: I have a good heart
Something I’m looking forward to: I defended my dissertation in April and will be graduating with my PhD this Saturday! My sisters are arriving in Charlottesville (I go to UVA) tonight and we’re going to do a lot of celebrating this weekend. Then I’m going with one sister to a little island in Maine to do absolutely nothing. I can’t wait. A worry that’s keeping you up at night: I’m trans and terrified about my safety and the safety of my trans family. I’m fortunate in that I got my dream job teaching at a super progressive school in Massachusetts, so I will be in a deep blue state beginning in August. But it’s only a matter of time before the sense of safety that that brings will start to wane. Your current or childhood nickname: Smeliot, a classic for people named El(l)iot. Over the years, it’s turned into just Smel. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: I was late to the Severance train but I’m about halfway through the first season and I see what all the hype is about. I’m struggling to find a book that I can get wrapped up in right now but will scroll through these comments for inspiration. Something you like about yourself, big or small:
wahoowa and congrats from a fellow hoo! so glad you have found an amazing job. sending you and your trans family love and hugs.
Congratulations on getting your PhD and the job. As the wife of an academic, I know how hard the job market is. You are a rockstar. One of the things that keeps me up at night (aside from the state of the country and indifference of many to those whose rights are being stripped away) is Will Colleges Still Be Teaching the Humanities in a few years?
Something you’re looking forward to: pool season! I love hanging out with our neighborhood friends all summer, everyone being more relaxed, and cobbling together chlorine-splashed leftovers together while our kids swim A worry that’s keeping you up at night: *gestures broadly* everything, but my husband is a federal worker and our primary income earner so I have had anxiety in varying degrees since January about that Your current or childhood nickname: Bebba! Got it tattooed on my ribcage when I turned 40. A TV show you’re watching or book you’re reading: Reading “Rebecca” because I never have and my name is Rebecca so I feel like I should have read it by now. Just finished 3 Elizabeth Strout novels in a row before that. Show: Mum, a calm, subtle British sitcom. Something you like about yourself, big or small: I love my personal style.