The Sweetest Baby Shower Idea
This weekend, Toby, Anton, and I went to our friend Erika’s baby shower…
As soon as we walked into the restaurant, we realized the baby shower would be as chic and down-to-earth as Erika is. First off, men were invited, so her husband Christian, her father-in-law, and guy friends mingled among the ladies, and of course I got to bring my own two boys. They adore Erika because she’s funny, friendly, and sweet enough to talk basketball with them; we even went to a Liberty game together a few months ago.
Sandwiches, pastries, and grocery-store sheet cake (from Wegmans! so good!) ran down the bar, and we drank iced coffees. A two-tiered cake stand offered up their favorite cookies from childhood: monster cookies for Erika, and linzer tarts for Christian. White balloons bopped against the ceiling, and the couple’s own baby photos stood framed on the tables.
Sarah (right) with their friend Evan
But my favorite part? Erika’s sister Sarah had created the most adorable scrapbook for the baby.
When I asked her about it, Sarah said it was easy: she’d bought a Semikolon guest book and stuck in self-adhesive library pockets. Then, she snapped guests’ photos with a mini instant camera and taped them on each page.
I liked that the notecards had prompts, so you immediately got ideas for what to write. “I wanted something that resembled a library card,” Sarah told me. “So, I designed cards on Canva, printed them on cardstock, and cut them out.”
The boys and I filled out our cards. I loved reading their answers — Anton said the baby’s first book should be Brown Bear (his own favorite from his baby days) and Toby leveled up with The Great Gatsby. My answer? cupofjo.com, of course.
“We read all the notes last night, just Christian and me,” Erika told me today. “Some were goofy; some were emotional. We both cried.”
How lovely is the scrapbook idea? What other baby shower ideas have you enjoyed? I loved my motherhood book. xo
P.S. How I changed my mind about baby showers, Anton’s baby shower, and the advice cards at baby showers.
Comments
91 commentsI wanted to make my baby shower feel true for me and don’t love games and performing. I bought a bunch of white cotton baby clothes and had craft supplies – paints/markers/embroidery threads/ribbons for my friends to decorate. I loved the afternoon of chatting and creating together and it was so sweet to dress my baby and remember who decorated their clothing. I felt like I was literally dressing them in love.
Since I’m guessing a lot of moms are reading and commenting on this post, how does everyone cherish the time with your young children? I have a 1-yo and 4-yo and I spend a (relatively) good amount of time with them- probably 4-5 hours every weekday, and of course, all day and evening on the weekends. But I find that I’m often a little bored, wanting the time to pass, wanting to sneak and look at my phone to text a friend or check Instagram (argh). We have a part-time sitter which I always feel guilty about, but I do love getting that time away from them to work or be alone! I just adore my girls both SO much- and yet, I don’t think I’m appreciating the time enough. Everyone says this is the sweetest, best time and it will go so fast, and they’ll be teenagers before I know it, etc. I wish I could savor it more! Thoughts?
Get outside! I love to play with my boy, but I go nuts if we have to spend too much time inside. But outside, everything feels more relaxed and fun (for me too, not just him). We’ll go pick out rocks he likes and throw them in puddles of water, look at the different leaves or sticks we can find, go to the park or the beach, etc. I’m amazed by how little he needs to play for hours outside.
Hello! I work as a nanny and never had screen time so I can say…crafts!!!!!! Walks, coffee dates. I enjoy photography so I bring my camera along sometimes and take pictures, then got a instant printer to print some and make a photo album with them.
The other thing the hostesses did at the aforementioned shower (below?) is they blew up photos of my husband’s and my face and made numerous copies, and then the attendees were divided into groups and got to piece together the images to create what they thought our kiddo would look like. They put the creations in frames that then were presented to me to choose the best of. Oh my gosh, people. It was hilarious, and terrible–I mean, the images were not . . . pretty. My husb. and I felt like we had to save the framed collages, but they were so, erm, disturbing almost (I mean, like a twisted Picasso nightmare), we buried them under a stack of CDs in the closet. ;) Shower games can be pretty lame . . . this was memorable and funny-horrible.
Maybe everyone already knows this idea, but lovely people threw me a baby shower almost eight years ago and instead of bringing cards with their gifts, the guests wrote in the inside of a children’s book. I still love reading the notes inside these books my eldest, and her brothers who followed. A lot of board books and otherwise are less expensive than greeting cards these days, so it’s a cost-effective suggestion, too!
I took my then-two year-old to a baby shower last year, and it wasn’t until the car ride home that she asked me where the babies having showers had been!
My three year old was aghast when she learnt that I never had a baby shower – and now semi regularly asks me if I will throw her one when she is grown up. I feel so happy to say to her yes I would love to, and I will make it so special for you. I’m sure my mum would have too, but I felt so terribly embarrassed at the thought of any attention, which is so sad looking back, I love my babies and cherish the gift of having been pregnant with them and getting to be a mom. I’m so glad my daughter feels like she would like to celebrate and be celebrated and I hope she never looses that feeling.
Funnily enough, when I was new in the US (had been in the US for about a year or so, twenty plus years ago), I thought that baby shower meant that the expecting mom has to take a shower/bathe, Lol. It took me a while to get that it was showering of blessings and gifts.
Trigger warning, baby loss. Just scroll on by of this isn’t for you today. Last August MY baby and her partner had their baby boy’s shower. It was so joyful. And hot!!! 100° and the balloons were popping from the heat. My daughter had invited another pregnant young woman, due just before she was. We had such a lovely little conversation while snacking, talking about her sister’s recent birth and new baby, what a gift to have that knowledge to encourage her. My daughter and she talked about how fun it would be to get together with their new babies. I felt so grateful for this sweet friend for my daughter. She was glowing. She was so happy. A couple months later, she went into labor, and her baby didn’t make it. It still feels unreal. Unimaginable. My daughter gave birth just a bit after, to a healthy and beautiful baby boy. He’s 9 months old now. There should be a 10 month old friend for him that is missing. A sweet child that will never leave her parents thoughts, even for a moment. If reading about showers and baby books and all the lucky people in the world that have alive babies is hard and heart breaking for you, I, and many others here, are thinking of you, as well. Consider yourself hugged. I hope you are ok today. I hope there is something joyful you can see or think of. May your child’s memory be a blessing to you.
I am the person who needed to read this today. Thank you for remembering moms like me.
This is so gracious and thoughtful and loving.
This is all super cute! Fingers crossed that all continues to go well, through and including birth! I particularly loved the shout-out for Wegmans. Our family also is partial to their cakes for birthdays and life events. We always add a picture of the person being celebrated and refer to it as our “face cake.” A party isn’t a party without face cake!
This is the sweetest idea. I love the prompt because I never know what to write. My mom bought us The Runaway Bunny and the pages are filled with little hearts and signatures and notes of love from our guests which makes it fun to read. I attended my baby shower via Skype from my hospital bed after a surprise premature delivery. It happened only days before the shower was scheduled, so we didn’t tell anyone (except my parents/sisters of course) until I popped up on the screen, so that was one way to make the shower memorable, haha.
Babyshowers are only very recently becoming a thing among young parents to be in my home country and I still feel kind of awkward about them. Here the tradition used to be that the new parents announced the birth of their child and everyone who wanted to do so congratulated, either in person or by mail. I remember fondly getting cards and gifts in the mail for more than a month after the births of our children! Quite honestly, I would feel too superstitious (which I am not otherwise!) to have a babyshower…
Yeah, in India, culturally, nothing is bought/ gifted before the baby is born. Things maybe changing now, but I understand, how one might be superstitious.
That’s a very common superstition among American Jews! (no gifts before baby is born, no baby shower, do not set up the baby room until after they’re born, etc.)
This is a sweet idea. Also love that men and boys are included. As a mom of two boys it drives me nuts now that little girls are invited to baby showers but boys aren’t.
We live in a small town and one million people asked what they could give us but I felt awkward sending the registry link to people I didn’t invite to the shower so we had a “Huggies and chuggies” party and just asked folks to bring diapers or wipes if they wanted (or nothing!). Our baby will be 9 months next week and we’re just opening the final boxes of diapers from that party! So thankful.
I’m having my shower in October and am definitely doing this!!! Would love any other meaningful shower activity ideas.
One that I did at a shower I threw a few years ago was to have all the guests fill out a card with their favorite family tradition from when they were growing up. Good ideas for the new parents when thinking about creating their own family traditions and fun memories for the guests to share! At my shower my girlfriends put blank wooden blocks and nontoxic paint pens on all the tables and guests decorated blocks that my kids have used for years.
My niece lived far away from family, so to try to make up for the moral support and encouragement, I wrote questions she could choose to ask the moms in attendance—what about the delivery was easier/ better than you expected, what was something that made you laugh, what did you wish you knew ahead of time, etc. And it was the first baby shower I threw about 30 years ago, where I learned that simple is often better. It was a coed shower (lol, that makes me sound like the 60 year old that I am), and I wanted to impress all of the expecting parents’ fancy friends. I made finicky hor d’oeuvres, and then watched everyone gobble up the 7 layer bean dip someone brought. Cheers to celebrations, simple or otherwise. P.S. I’ll be attending the baby from 30+ years ago’s wedding this fall. <3
I was too nervous to have a baby shower, but I am going to use this for my baby’s first birthday!! I think I will ask everyone to send me a song as well!!
Very sweet! I’ve been to two showers where the attendees created alphabet books for the baby. We printed each letter of the alphabet on a sheet pf cardstock. People chose a letter or two, came up with a word for the letter and then illustrated it. Some were sweet, some were silly, some were works of art! Afterwords, the pages were bound at Staples into an alphabet book for baby!
I’m copying this for my own shower in a few months!
Aw I’m having my rehearsal dinner at Margot this Friday :) So fun to see another happy party in this space! xoxo
congrats!!! kip and halley are my girls
I read “your first book should be” as “the first novel you write should be about…” and not “the first book you read should be…” I kind of like my misinterpretation best!
whoa! how tall is toby???
My thought exactly! Ahahah
thats what I was thinking, oh how we’ve watched him grow – 🥹
As someone who has always rolled my eyes at baby showers (as they seem so materialistic!), this post is surprisingly tender and heartwarming, as are the comments. I feel warm and fuzzy reading all these perspectives. The party sounds like it formed some beautiful memories–of that day, and planted seeds for sweet moments to come. Congrats to Erika + fam! Hugs!
<3
My workplace threw a shower and one of the activities was to write messages of encouragement onto post-its that were affixed to diapers (I’ve done the write on diapers thing before – this is way better). An experienced parent drew a silly face and wrote “baby distraction!”. Wouldn’t you know, months later I was able to take a photo of my baby eagerly reaching for it during a tricky diaper change. Bless the parents who have been there.
“Baby distraction” and a funny face…. Why did that just make me cry? Thank goodness for experienced parents who help us along the way!
Such lovely fun! We went to the baby shower of a good friend’s daughter this weekend, it was similar. Men, Dad’s, boyfriends were there, it was in an old french restaurant in the Valley which has been there for DECADES, beautiful mediteranean food, big loose wildflower bunches of peach and gold toned flowers, people from their 80’s to toddlers and babies, young ish hipsters and Grands all talking together, it was so sweet. They had a poster with a rainbow on it, and everyone put their thumbprint on it with pink ink and signed their name. No games, no presents being opened, (the Mom was too shy and also exhausted to sit and open things in front of 60 people, which I TOTALLY get). I love reading about this one, gorgeous! Showers can be as unique as the people they are for, and I am here for it!
Congrats Erika! My coworkers all wrote messages to me in a childrens book at my baby shower and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read them because it is so sweet. You will treasure this scrapbook! :)
That is so lovely! I went to a baby shower years ago (we knew that the baby was a girl) and we were all given or chose, it was a long time ago, a number up to 18, and asked to write a birthday card for that year. It was such a great idea and a sweet birthday tradition for this child to celebrate with notes from people who may or may not have been available to share her birthday in subsequent years. I have no idea what I wrote, but few years back I received word that my friend’s daughter had been really moved by the note that had been waiting for her for 15 years.
That’s so lovely!
Love that Toby was willing to go to a baby shower! Teenage boys are fascinating creatures -you never know what will or won’t be in their wheelhouse on any given day! Some years ago when my family was traveling in England we went to visit a cousin who had a newborn. My son was very vocal about how cute and lovely the little six month old girl was, but he absolutely refused to hold her. I was mystified because my son is the King of cuddles. His Dad asked him privately what his refusal was all about and my dear sweet son said that he definitely wanted a family of his own, but that he had a lot of work to do before he would be ready for a family of his own and that he needed to keep his eye on the ball. Too adorable!! He is now many years later the ecstatic Dad of a six month old little guy. A successful entrepreneur living in the big bad world but still the King of cuddles!
Congratulations! I was a single mom by choice and did a version of this. I was not interested in having a shower, but I was happy to have a “welcome to the world” party after the baby was born. I brought a big empty scrapbook and asked folks to share something (literally anything) they thought the baby to know. People brought everything from photographs and stories of their heroes to drawings and advice. My kid’s big now and it’s still one of our treasures!
I love this!
Any ideas for a secular christening/welcome to the world.. parry? In my country babyshowers are a newer development and I didn’t have one because I had a very scary pregnancy. And then a prolonged hospital stay and chaotic first months (twins…). It’s a made up party anyway, but if anyone has some inspiration when and how to celebrate the „we made it“ with friends?
We had a “Welcome to the World” party when our child was 6 months old, and we finally felt that we had (half) joined the land of living again. It was a very dry simple picnic at a local park at about 11am (between nap times) and we just provided chips and dips, cheese and crackers, and fruit.
Anne us Southerners have solved this for you with the post-baby-being-born-babyshower, it’s called a “Sip & See.” More casual than a shower, you provide beverages for sipping and pass the baby or babies around for seeing. Biscuits and pimento cheese optional. :)
My sister in law is Vietnamese, and when she and my brother welcomed my baby nephew in Saigon they had a one month celebration for him – I think it’s called Đầy Tháng. My understanding is that there is a 100 day celebration for Korean babies.
Cute! I love a chill baby shower. I am team no-baby-shower at all, because, why do we need events for EVERYTHING!? But at least this one was chill
To offer a contradicting opinion (although I hear you about being overscheduled with events!) I think that a baby shower is a lovely way to mark the tremendous sacrifice that a mom goes through to gestate a baby and give birth, and to celebrate a new person coming into the world! In the fundamentalist background I come from, no one has baby showers because it’s just expected that women give birth and raise babies and all that labor and sacrifice is completely minimized, taken for granted, and unsupported. I had very simple inexpensive baby showers for each of my babies but it was still important for me to *have* a baby shower to honor each pregnancy and to say “I matter, what I’m doing matters, this baby matters.” It was a way of pushing back on the extremely patriarchal worldview I grew up in, if that makes sense. (But again, I hear you on feeling like there are too many events. I am pretty picky about which kid birthday parties we attend—close friends only, not every classmate—and we try to preserve some weekend time that is just for us and just for relaxing.)
Kaylee, I was so with you until I was pregnant with my first baby in 2020 and all of a sudden, no one could see me pregnant. We don’t live in the states and we were suddenly allowed to have gathering up to 30 people when I was 36 weeks. We gathered those who could come and held a backyard afternoon tea. It was the only time my parents, grandparents and most of my in-laws and and friends saw me pregnant and I do credit the event as the thing that kicked of a lot of love and treasuring of my little boy. I agree that not everything should be an “event”, and a lot of the baby showers I see and go to seem extreme in their focus on excess, but I do now think, if we’re going to have an event for anything, shouldn’t it be to celebrate life?
Oh gosh I’m in the season of life where a lot of my friends are starting to have babies (I have four (!!!) close friends having babies in January) and if any of them want to have a baby shower I am so there. Why not celebrate?? Also my friends exist across tax brackets and babies can be $$$ so why not share some of that financial burden with your community? It is bittersweet for me as someone who wants children but can’t right now. But I’m there, I bring a thrifted gift and joy at the opportunity to celebrate my friend and this new life. Why not!
Hard disagree. I had a baby later in life and was pretty private about my choice to do so or even my pregnancy. My baby shower was a big party, with about 75 amazing people I’d known and loved through different stages of my life. It was a way to see a ton of people I cared about as I ushered in a new era that was, honestly a MUCH harder transition than I imagined at that time. It was threshold and initiation into a new identity. It’s not just about presents and cake.
I see a forecast for a very cute baby. All the best wishes. Xx.
Toby’s ‘cool’ face for the photo just kills me!
The scrapbook idea is great, but honestly I just like the party itself. No silly shower games, just a simple but sophisticated casual party with friends both men and women. In an era of over the top party themes it’s easy to forget that this is what most people want.
This is so lovely, meaningful and relatable personally. I am so sick of all the over the top parties and trying to live up to Jones and spending insane amounts of dollars on decor and stuff that is going to end up in landfill.
<3 me too!!! and I liked that people weren't captive, like you could pop in, have a coffee and croissant, and bounce
anyone can do whatever they want.. but I do like white as the theme.
Lovely shower for the lovely Erika! Lol Toby has the perfect expression for a teenage boy at a baby shower:)
what a treasure! it’s also a kind of snapshot as to exactly the time/place/community the baby’s parents were living in and with when they were expecting, which is always a fun thing to look back when the family is older…
Because of how circumstances played out, I was once involved in a coworker’s wife’s day of labor and delivery. I was aware that I probably wouldn’t end up knowing the child at all, and certainly wouldn’t know her by the time she was a teen or adult. But I wished she would be able to know how many people (whom she would never meet) were so involved on the day she was born, so happy for her parents, so eager for her, and so thrilled to know she had safely arrived. How they rearranged their lives — even if just for that one day — because of her and how important she was.
Liz, this is a lovely sentiment and I’m sure I’m not the only one desperate to know this story! (If you feel comfortable/it is appropriate to share)
Am I the only one dying for the rest of this story? I wish that kid knew, too, it seems like a great story!
This is just the sweetest gesture! Love and plan to borrow for future baby showers I get the privilege of helping to plan.
makes me so happy!
This is such such a lovely idea. I still mourn not being able to have an in-person baby shower, since it was 2021. We did a virtual one, which was sweet, but I really missed being able to do anything in person back then. My husband and my midwife were the only people who saw me pregnant the entire time.
Same ❤️
Same here. We had two virtual showers, which was sweet but just not the same…
Erika’s dress is so beautiful!
DVF!!! I felt like a goddess
Margot looks incredible – put on my Brooklyn hit list for when we go in October. Are they waiting to find out the gender of baby?!
they know! :) I can’t remember if she’s said or not on her substack, so I’ll let her share!
Gentle reminder that it’s the sex of the baby, not the gender. It’s more important than ever to remember this distinction, as the current administration in the US is attempting to erase the existence of trans people.
Thank you Kell! Came here to say the same thing.
it’s a girl <3
Woohoo congrats Erika!! Little girls are so fun.
How sweet! I’m saving this post! I just graduated from my fertility clinic this morning at 8.5 weeks, it feels so surreal to be here after years of infertility and treatments! Congratulations, Erika, wishing you all the best!
CONGRATS!!!!! to a beautiful baby in 2026 <3
“I know you because” reminds me that when my younger son was 2, a good friend was pregnant with her second baby, and I told my son, excitedly, “Niko is going to have a baby brother!” His response, delivered with as much suspicion and side-eye as a 2-year-old can muster: “Are we going to LIKE Niko’s baby brother?!?” LOL. (Yes, we do like Niko’s baby brother, very much.)
A couple of years back, I sent a text to my best friend to wish her new five-year-old a happy birthday. He was so confused about why this random lady knew his birthday, so my friend explained to him that grown-up friends care about their friends’ kids, even if they live far away, haha.
Gretchen Alice, opposite experience here! We do an annual vacation with my best friend and her family. This year, I was sitting in the living room holding my baby and hanging with my bestie’s 5 year old. He wanted to use his iPad and knew the passcode was his birthday, so he just confidently asked me what his birthday was for the passcode. When I was like, “hold on, it’s in my phone!” he was just very nonchalantly like, thanks dude. The complete opposite of, “how/why do you know this or have it stored in your phone??”
I love that, Ruth!
Erin, this story gave me a much needed laugh today. Thank you!
Toby got TALL!
We didn’t have a registry, we just asked people to bring their favorite childhood book. We didn’t get a single repeat! And it’s been so fun to think about and talk about the gift giver as we have read these books to our daughter (and her subsequent 3 brothers). And as a psychoanalyst, I find it particularly amusing to think about why people were drawn to certain books. “Are you my mother?” comes to mind….
Love this idea!
Reading this headline, that’s what I thought the idea for the baby shower was going to be….
I love this idea–but I’ll add that I was absolutely traumatized by Are You My Mother. I was SO upset that the poor baby bird had to go look for her.
As an adopted person, I loved that book as a kid because it felt real and comforting to me. I could not have articulated that at the time, of course, but it was the exact opposite of traumatizing.
coziest, most fun shower EVER…and having toby and anton there made it all the more special
We’re so happy for you and Christian and are wishing you all the best!
Congrats on a lovely shower! And sending all the love and well-wishes for you and your little one – may she have some stellar vintage JCrew looks in her future if she so chooses ;)!