An Epic Week in NYC With Preteens

You looks great! Our guide Hammou was excellent. You spend a lot of time together during six days and Hammou has a wonderful personality, is caring, and truly wants to do what’s best for you. I traveled with my three daughters aged five, eight, and 12. He was delightful with them. They enjoyed him. He really took care of us. We didn’t have air-conditioning in our tents so he knew that our girls would be very unhappy without AC and the desert. So he called on his own and made the change so we could have an air conditioned tent. It was a great idea. He is knowledgeable about everything, answers all questions, and has a great sense of humor. You really want to make sure that your tour guide is exceptional and Hammou truly is exceptional. Idir was great to work with . All of our accommodations and reservations were as agreed. Idir was very helpful organizing the whole trip from the beginning. He responded quickly and I highly recommend their company!

I would love an updated NYC guide. My parents (Mid 70s) and I are visiting next year for my Twin Brothers wedding and would love some recommendations for things to do (and also cool places to buy some locally made souvenirs)

Omg, the the Louis Vuitton store that looks like suitcases! My husband is on a work trip right now in NY, and he literally just sent me a photo of that! It’s his first time visiting, and neither of us knew that existed, either!

What am amazing adventure for Jimmy, and such a fun time for Anton and everyone else. It’s heartening to see young people experiencing such joy. I am so very lucky to have my mom and my oldest daughter and her family live in our town now. My mom moved her after my dad died 4 years ago, and my daughter moved her after college and clerkship. I am lucky to care for her baby and I truly feel like this is one of the best times in my life. I’m so grateful to have my mom close, still very independent and also connected. My youngest lives to far away, but luckily in a wonderful safe place where she’s really happy and we get to see her a few times a year. I wish it was more. Everyone else is far flung, states away, CA, TX, CO, OR. And honestly, I have a really hard time maintaining relationships when folks are far. I still try tho.

We’re American expats living in Geneva, Switzerland — most of our family is in Washington, D.C. or Los Angeles. IT. IS. HARD. We love our adopted home. We marvel everyday at our good fortune to have nature on our doorstep and international kids. But going a year or more without seeing your parents or siblings is painful. The trade-offs are real. Still, we’re staying…

My husband is Swedish and we live in New Zealand where I am from. Next year we are moving to his Swedish hometown for a year, like a gap year but as a family with a four year old and a 18 month old :) I am beyond excited. It’s going to be incredible to have so much time with my husband’s family and it will really solidify our daughters’ Swedish language. I met my husband while on exchange in this town in 2009 so I can’t wait to re-immerse myself.

Would LOVE tips and tricks for tween and elementary aged kids in NYC. My Aussie family of 5 is heading to the states to visit my American family summer 2026. We decided from now on during our trips to the states we will let the kids choose one location to visit… their first (and best!) choice is NYC. I’m so excited. Would LOVE tips and tricks about what to do but especially family-friendly places to stay. We’re keen to see a show, go to some museums, walk the high line, go to a Yankees game, spend time relaxing in Central Park, but other than that we’re open for any and all adventures!

Their relationship is so sweet! You can just tell they’ll be co-best men or groomsmen at each others weddings in the future if they get married :)

Over our two sons’ growing up years, we hosted three exchange students for a year (what wonderful experiences!) and each of them had a ride (and a picture!) on a classic yellow school bus as a bucket list item. Of course, after a year at a rural high school in Maine, riding the bus became old hat, but that first pic was a moment of great glee!

My husband is from Germany and his family mostly lives in Europe. His dad LOVES 16 Handles. He’s a very stern German type, a professor and a former government official. One time when he was visiting us in NYC we took him to Momofuku Milk Bar but it was a thousand degrees outside and there was no place to sit in there. We ended up going up the street to 16 Handles where he downed a cup, then handed it to my husband and asked him to go get him another. Ever since then it’s a required stop on any visit.

We don’t live near any immediate family except for my husband’s aunt. One gift that COVID gave my sisters and me (and my mom when she was alive) is a weekly Zoom call that has been going strong for 5+ years now! I’m not a phone call person and I love a group video call because if you’re in a quiet mood you can sit back and watch/listen. My best friend (who also happens to be my SIL!) and I are big Snapchat users, and we’ve gotten the grandparents and aunties and uncles on both sides of our families on there so we can share videos and photos of our kids. (It feels private compared to Instagram, even having private accounts on both, because my Instagram is filled with all the random people I’ve connected with in life.) My mom always used to tell me how much her mom would’ve loved technology like Snapchat and video calls, since she moved frequently for my grandpa’s job and keeping in touch was much harder back then. I feel like I’m there with my nieces and nephews as they’re growing up even though they’re across the country!

Interesting turns of fate … My MIL came to America as a nanny when she was 19 from the UK and my son started uni in the UK last fall at 17 (and turned 18 a few days later). When she came here, she didn’t see her parents for years and had to wait for her three sons were old enough to travel back to see them every five years or so. Now? I send IG messages to my son daily. He’s been back here three times and I’ve been to see him there twice. We’re so, so fortunate!!

Hi all, using this amazing community to ask for some suggestions for stuff to do in Minneapolis – I have a conference downtown and would love recs for coffee shops and cool places to walk in.

I grew up about 14 hours from my parents’ families, grandparents, etc, and now live about the same distance from both my parents and my in-laws. I wish we had family nearby, not entirely because I have two kids and need help, but also because I miss seeing my parents all the time and feel like I am missing out on having a closer relationship with them as a parent/adult. When they visit they stay with us and it’s super intense for everyone, wish we could just pop by for dinner or go grocery shopping together or for a walk?? I hope my kids spread their wings and fly to wherever it is that their hearts desire but I hope building a life where they grew up is an idea they entertain! I love the idea of deep roots, maybe because I moved a lot as a kid.

Honestly the yellow school bus thing is a real obsession foreign people have. It was one of the top things we were asked when we lived abroad. Haha once my friend asked me to explain all of the different grocery stores to her – Costco, Trader Joe’s, etc. it’s so funny. But real.

Please tell me he got his Dunkin Donuts!

Yesterday I moved from Houston to Napa. I’ve lived away before, but this time around there are texts and FaceTime and all sorts of ways to stay connected at a distance. But saying goodbye to my sister, nieces, parents, and stepkids has thoroughly cleaved my heart in two. I keep reminding myself that choosing to live far away doesn’t mean I love them any less. I can’t wait to squeeze them the next time I see them (as Joanna would say)!

My kids, husband, and I live in the Caribbean. I am from the Midwest, my husband is from the Northeast. We do extended visits to each of our home states in the summer, host both sets of grandparents each winter, and I try to squeeze in 1-2 extra trips to each side, each year so that it’s never more than 3-4 months without seeing family. It’s so hard – the logistics, the costs, the scheduling. I HATE living so far from family…but I also can’t really imagine living in either of our home states, and we live where do because of a unique work opportunity that doesn’t exist elsewhere. I don’t really have an answer…just here to agree that “yes, it sure is hard.” And also to say…we’ve given up most of our exotic travel (my husband and I used to go Europe! Morocco! Cuba!) to now hang with our extended families & have them know our kids (budget-wise/time-wise you can’t do it all), and I don’t think I’ll ever regret that trade-off. Although sometimes when I’m sleeping on my mom’s pull-out couch, I guess I miss Paris & fancy hotels a tiny, little bit, haha.

You have a brother? I’ve been reading CoJ for years and never knew this!

My parents and other close family live about two hours away in the same state as us, but we just found out yesterday that we are moving to Indianapolis this fall (about 8 hours away). My mom is so sad that we are moving her only grandkids away, and we are nervous because we don’t know anything about the new city or any people there. But also excited for this new opportunity! I have tried to reassure her that we will make a schedule so she can visit our kids often. We also facetime a lot and Im sure we will have a daily facetime in place. I’m sad that my kids aren’t growing up next to their grandparents like I did, but this was an opportunity we couldn’t pass up. I’ve reminded myself that we will still spend every important holiday together and have lots of other visits. We are going to see Indianapolis for the first time ever this weekend! Crossing my fingers that we love it.

I moved to England 8 years ago, and it’s definitely hard, especially now that I’ve had a little boy. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I’ve put that distance between my parents and my son. But I try to remember that when they do see each other, it’s for a few weeks at a time and it’s really concentrated time spent together.

I’m an American who has settled in Birmingham, England. My family and I rely on Marco Polo to keep in touch and share the everyday aspects of our lives. I have a group with just my mom and sister, one with the whole family including my husband, and I use those and individual messages all throughout the week. On the weekend, in the family group, we do a “weekend report” where we share what we’re doing over the weekend. Sometimes I’ll ask everyone to share a memory from a holiday or memorable family event. It’s fun to hear everyone’s recollections and versions of stories. And sometimes I’ll ask an ice-breaker type question just to give us something lighthearted to talk about. Recently it was, “what is your favorite way to eat potatoes?” Mashed, fries, baked, potato chips etc.

I still live in my hometown but once my parents retired they moved to another place with better climate. Our relationship has changed a lot, not for good. Even if it’s their decision I worry about them getting old and living far, specially when they are sick. Enyone else in this situation?

We have a few days in NYC this January (brrrr). Can anyone recommend what to do with a 2.5 year old? Any areas you’d recommend we stay? I’ve been before but never with a kid.

I moved 10 years ago, my brother & parents stayed in the same area and most of my friends are also still here. I don’t live that far from them ( 5 hours drive ) but what I struggle the most with is their lack of understanding when it comes to seeing each other, planning etc.. Sometimes i will plan a weekend there to catch up with my friends that I miss and if my brother and sister law know that I am around (even though it is sometimes 1h from their place..), they will feel hurt that i didn’t tell them I was coming. I used to come and try to see everyone and would end up so tired and with a feeling that I hadn’t really “talked” to anyone, just having a 30 min coffee with 10 different people so now i just hide it depending on who I am visiting. Since my parents and brother can see each other quite easily, they dont need to plan weekends ahead like my partner and I do. They can have a familly lunch, and then head home to rest. Also all their friends live close by so and they never lived far from them so everything is just so much easier while on my side, I have to plan in advance to avoid paying expensive train tickets, when i come back home on sunday night the fridge is empty, my laundry basket is full, i didnt get to exercise etc.. I find that people who lived far from home at least for a certain period of time are much more understanding with not putting pressure on those who live far, they never send me messages like ” omg i heard you are visiting your mom, we need to see each others, its been too long”. This kind of message gives me major anxiety. I don’t like to disappoint people I love, I really want to nurture these relationships but I also need to think about my own well being…not easy.

i spent a couple months this summer visiting my cousins in the USA! already making plans to go back next year and for Thanksgiving too as i’ve never experienced that before. i’ve had to add international texts to my phone contract so we can stay in touch, but it’s worth it. it’s always difficult going back home after a trip like that, feels like part of your heart is anchored elsewhere

I’m a California native, lived in the Bay Area til I was almost 30, when my husbands military job took us back east. My sister had moved up to the PNW the year prior for her husbands schooling. Within 5 years, both of my brothers and I had moved to the PNW, and then 2 years ago we moved my folks up here to be closer to all. When I lived back east I flew home usually once a year, occasionally more. I knew our home there was only temporary. When we got orders for Washington state, my mom was thrilled we were going to be in the same time zone! It’s hard, but it makes you value the time you have together more!

My mom grew up in France and all her family still lives there. We went every year growing up. My mom’s the oldest so my cousins are a bit younger, but now we’re all in our 30s and 40s and have kids and it’s such a delight to see them. I wish I got to see them more but i don’t wish we lived closer because part of the pleasure of having dear relationships with family in other cultures is the ability to see family life somewhere else up-close. You can be an insider and an observer and learner. Plus it’s so fun to visit!

My mom in California has group video calls on birthdays (5 times a year!) with her sister in England and her sisters in Australia; it’s hard to make the time zones work but they’ve figured out the details. It’s extremely sweet.

This was so sweet! Minor thing but somehow learning that 16 handles was back and there is now on in Cobble Hill was oddly comforting. I never went back in day, but might have to now.

Of COURSE Anton has a full on golf fit!

Joanna, you’re English on both Mom and Dad’s side ? I thought it was just your Dad.

I love this post! Just a slice of bicoastal teen boy family life!

Great pics! I’m in LA and both my kids and extended family are on the East Coast. My kids are in college and grad school and their grandparents are in Florida. Lots of time on airplanes.

Does anyone have tips on how to stay in touch with family that’s not good at staying in touch? I live on the east coast and my dad and brothers live in North Western Canada. None of them are very chatty and I usually feel pretty isolated. My dad doesn’t even have a cell phone! We have a good relationship in person, but the distance is hard.

So fun! Thank you for sharing. Cousin friendship is very special. My family just visited New York City for two nights. My teen and tween loved riding e scooters around Central Park, going up to the top of the Empire State Building, and walking through time square. We also liked walking across the Brooklyn Bridge after sunset. There is so much more we wish we did!

My oldest daughter moved to the Netherlands almost 9 years ago first to au pair then to get her degree. After graduating, she accepted a job and is so happy with her life there that she is working on her permanent residency. She is actually home in the states right now visiting with her Dutch boyfriend and this post is making me dread their upcoming departure. We are already planning on going to meet them some in Europe next summer.

What a fun trip filled with memories, Jimmy’s huge smile says it all! I live in Auckland, New Zealand. My family still live in England, while my husband’s family is back in Argentina, so any time we get together is a precious reunion that’s few and far between.

By the way, how is Buttercup doing?

oh it’s tricky. my husband’s from Australia so his whole side of the family is there and we live in California. I’m from Virginia so we’re not close to my side of the family either. We’ve enjoyed getting to establish our own family’s rhythms, visit as often as we can and we’ve started celebrating our Australian birthdays the day before our American birthdays because it’s already your birthday in Australia! haha with all the hard things that come with family far away, we try to celebrate the fun things too. our eyes welled up as my in laws just told us last week that they’re flying over and will land here on Christmas morning!! we can’t wait!!

My family has always been super close even though we live a state away, we just text or call whenever. My partner, however, has a weekly zoom with his dad and brother called the “PISS Meeting” (Preston’s Informal Son Sync)’ because, apparently, boys will ALWAYS be boys. They start with music trivia and a funny poll to get the talkative juices flowing and I love it!

My very small, very close family lives in Oklahoma. My (new) husband and I just moved this summer to northern Wisconsin for his job. I will crush them in the tightest, longest hugs when my family visits later this month.

Am I the only one that wants to know if Jimmy got to ride a yellow school bus?

I have lived in the US for 24 years now and my parents and extended family live in India and around the world. It’s strange to think that two generations ago everyone in my family lived close to each other and now we are so spread out.

What a fun family visit! I have lived far away from my sister(s) and/or family since I was quite young. To stay in touch we started “Sister Chat” when I was about Anton’s age, during the golden days of modem dial-ups and AIM. This morphed into video chat dates – now including grandparents and grandkids in multiple time zones, and lots of little fingers trying to click the buttons to make the emojis pop up on the screen while grown-ups try to catch up on the week’s news in the family.

Agh I love this! There is something so special about sharing a place you love with people you love for the first time!! I live about 8 hours from my family with my soldier husband and our plan has always been to return home in 2026 so that our kids can grow up with all their cousins and uncles and aunts, just like I did! Thank goodness for video chats. (But just between us, now that we are getting close to it, I have such mixed feelings about leaving the place we made into a home and walking back into the family drama. It’s bittersweet!)

I love love love living near all of our family on both sides. It keeps me from ever even thinking about moving, even though Austin is hot, and expensive, and increasingly Texas-y…

Those pictures are so sweet! Thanks for sharing. I live in Chicagoland and my whole family lives in Brazil. I visited them often — almost every year. Thanks to WhatsApp we talk every day.

I am both thrilled for your family – your collective adventures now have a new setting, and that shared experience will bring you all even closer! – and kind of thrilled for America, that we could still show someone a good time? This country is so broken, and I’m frequently ashamed of it. It’s heartening to know that some of the magic is still here. …and that Louis Vuitton stack knocks my socks off every time I see it. It’s wrapped that way because it’s being renovated! Has a construction site ever looked so cleverly on-brand and fly?

Just want to thank you for posting this and turning my grumpy mom afternoon around. My two sons are home sick today – but thankfully not THAT sick — aka the have tons of energy to ask me a million questions. Finally, I set them up with lunch and retreated to my room to zone out. Of course, my four year old came tip-toeing in JUST as I had opened my laptop to check COJ. “Can I lie here with you?” he asked, snuggling in. And then he saw the opening photo on the screen, and asked, “who is that?” At first, I felt a little weird (how to explain I absolutely do not know the people in the photo but I feel like I do?) so I said, this is a writer I like and her son Anton, and Jimmy. From there, we scrolled through the photos, and his commentary was so endearing. (“Jimmy has the same shirt as my brother!” “Look at those animals!” (the museum), “Is this New York?” “Why are they 13?” Anyway, we don’t know a lot of tween boys, so it was sweet to unexpectedly show him what fun life might be like in a decade or so. So glad you all had a great week-thank you for sharing with us!

I was so tickled to learn that some people are fascinated by the yellow school buses, it’s amazing to discover the mundane things in one country that are new and interesting to others. I’m very lucky in that me, my mom, sister and her family, and brother all live within an hour of each other. I’m the oldest of 23 cousins and we’re all still in the general Philadelphia area. This leads to massive Thanksgivings and family parties, which is so much fun.

Loved this post! My parents are 12 minutes down the road from me, and I love it so much. They help out with my kids, join me on Costco runs, let me borrow things…. I’m so grateful to have them in our every-day lives! My in-laws are a few towns over, about 30 minutes away and that’s wonderful too. I miss my sisters who live in Chicago and LA terribly. We keep in touch daily through our lively family group chat, Marco Polo, and voice memos. A recurring theme in our group chat is texting a link or photo to a restaurant menu where any one of us is headed that evening (or currently at!) and asking the group what we should order. I’m grateful to visit them when I can in their fun and exciting cities, and also feel spoiled that I’m close to home when they’re visiting my parents.

Marco Polo! My son and his family live in Portugal, and while I visit them often from here on the East Coast of the USA, we Polo each other daily! This video app has been an ABSOLUTE GAME CHANGER for us, and we all feel so close to one another because it gives us a chance to keep up with the minutiae of our lives, all these times zones apart. All credit to my beloved daughter in law for discovering it and bringing it into our lives!

I love this! Me and my husband both live away from family (mine 4 hr flight plus 3 hr drive; him 9 hr flight). Each summer I take my two kids back to my family farm and they have ‘cousin camp’ with my brothers kids who are all close to their age. It is so chaotic but the kids all love it. They look forward to it every summer. I can’t wait until my niece and nephew are teenagers and can come visit us and get a similar city experience to Jimmy!

Eight years living in the U.S. and I still get excited to see the yellow school buses and take photos of them :). What a fun visit! I FaceTime my parents in England once a week and we have a family WhatsApp group that we send messages on. It’s hard being so far away, but I visit a few times a year, and it’s extra special when we have time in person.

Does anyone else think Freddie looks a little bit like Joanna’s grandfather??!

I love that Jimmy wanted to ride in a yellow school bus. When we had friends visit (this was 20 years ago) from Ireland they nearly fainted at the grocery store when they saw red solo cups for sale. They had seen them in so many US teen movies but never had seen one in-person. They bough an economy pack. Also, my favorite thing to ask someone when they return from a trip is, “so what did you discover that no one told you about before going?” Some answers include “mushy peas with fish and chips in England,” and that “in Denmark the on/off switch are the opposite from the U.S.” I love those little things of travel.

My family is scattered between Australia, California, and France. It’s very hard. But when we do mange to get together it feels very special.

I am now packing up my house in Yorkshire, preparing to move to London to be near family and friends. With a daughter in Edinburgh, and a son in London, it seemed to be a good time to relocate. Back to the south of England after 35 years in the north. The time has flown.

I moved to the US (NYC) from London 10 years ago this summer! Time flies, I never expected to move so permanently away from home but I have just really settled here. It’s both easier and harder to spend time away from family the longer I’m here. I contemplate moving back to Europe so I can be closer, but I am just not ready to leave NYC yet! Fortunately I am very close with my sisters and mother, we have very active WhatsApp chats that keep us in near-constant communication, but I miss getting to just collapse on the sofa with mugs of tea and be in each other’s presence. I make it back home at least once a year, they try and visit me every few years, and sometimes we meet somewhere new to each of us! Now my older sister has small kids, the distance is more potent, but I make sure they are as familiar with Aunty Maddy as a 2.5 year old and 8 month old can be.

My family is scattered across the whole continent, and texting “first day of school” photos to the group chat this morning made me both incredibly grateful for technology and also melancholy that it will be so many months before we are together again. I heard someone once say that true happiness is “all my people, all together.” As years have gone by and my people have grown and scattered and some have passed away, I find myself ever more grateful for the time we had/have/will have together.

This post reminds me that reflecting on vacation is almost as fun as vacation itself! Seems like you had so much fun reminiscing with Anton. I grew up in Connecticut and my grandma lived in Wisconsin. It was hard for me (and especially my mom) to say goodbye to her after our annual visit every summer. My grandma was my most enduring pen pal, and we wrote letters and postcards frequently, even through my time in college and up until she passed away at 98 when I was 25. The times I think of her most are when I’m traveling and see a postcard I would’ve sent her. When I was in middle and high school, my mom would plan a trip for my grandma to come stay with us for 3-5 weeks, making it as easy as possible for her to get out to see us. That was always a fun time! It made me jealous of my friends with grandparents nearby. I also remember my mom having weekly phone chats with my grandma. We used to buy long distance calling cards (good for 1000 minutes or something) and would have the super long number memorized after using it so often. After all this, I knew I wanted to live fairly close to my parents (30-40 minutes away right now) as an adult.

What a cute pair, and I love that so much of the post is from Anton! My family and I are flung all across the US now, and we stay in touch via phone calls, texts, and trips. Many of us are thinking about moving in the next couple of years to be closer. We’ll have to wait and see where we all end up next!

All my family lives in India and I see them only every couple of years – if I am lucky. The longest I have gone without seeing them is 6 years (thanks to COVID and a newborn). However, I will be in Shanghai for work this Fall and my sister is going to fly from India to spend a few days with me! I can’t remember the last time we had such a long stretch of uninterrupted sister time, so I am beyond excited to see her and so grateful she is willing to do this.

My parents are deceased, I go to lunch with one of my bros every 6 months and the other brother is no-contact. My husband joins in on a Zoom chat every Sunday night. They are night owls, so it’s 9 p.m. after kids are in bed for some. We try to keep the holiday magic going with his family, too.

This is so sweet. My sister studied abroad in Scotland for a year and laughed so hard when her classmates asked her if we Americans really rode to school in school buses like they’d have seen in the movies.

Isn’t it fun to see what things make an impression? I remember talking with a colleague from India who was *thrilled* to discover as an adult that those yellow school buses were real, and not just a Hollywood invention! I have cousins from the UK who, with all the varieties of food available, just wanted to try Twinkies. Love, love, love seeing a familiar place through new eyes. In-laws (whose children have all settled in different regions, never mind different states) always want to know how my family all ended up in the same small state–but it all comes down to never needed to move away long-term thanks to instate tuition, east coast internships, blue state politics. I’ve lived elsewhere, but I always come back.

I moved from NY to Connecticut and you would think it is another country! My family is literally a ferry ride or car ride away but it FEELS longer (especially with traffic) We do a lot of meeting in the middle or just day trips so they can see the kiddos. The Bronx zoo is our family fave to meet in the middle and spend a day together.

I am the only one that lives far away. My three sisters all live in the Chicagoland area with their families. Fortunately, NYC is just a short flight away so I get home relatively often. We keep in touch with soooo many group texts and various sister threads, ones including my dad, the spouses, the kids old enough to text, extended family, friends who are like family etc. It can be overwhelming but I love it. We have recently started doing a family newsletter through the service Letterloop and we all love it. It publishes every two weeks on a Monday and we have all started calling each other to read it out loud. It’s very fun, funny and insightful to read answers to questions that we wouldn’t necessarily think to ask each other. Questions this week include: What movie traumatized you as a kid? and how often should a pair of jeans be washed?

Do both these pre-teens have Invisalign or just good genetics? What happy bright smiles. Love, a mom who’s preteens have mouths full of snaggle teeth awaiting braces.