Five More Things I Want to Tell My White Friends
In June 2020, I wrote an essay, my first here, called Five Things I Want To Tell My White Friends. I was reeling in the wake of George Floyd’s death and its aftermath — what felt to me like a somewhat sudden and intense acknowledgment of racism in this country. It was a welcomed and overdue reckoning, but it was also a bit overwhelming to behold just how shocked and shook so many people were to realize how bad racism was. A prevailing sentiment of the well-meaning liberal zeitgeist might be summed as: Wait a minute, this has been happening under our noses this whole time?!!
Well, yes. And it still is. In the warm glow of the Obama era, it was perhaps easy to resist or dismiss. We have no such luxury — or illusions — now.
Recent events have been an all-too-clear reminder of that. The simmering fears and anxieties brought on by the relentless news cycle and political upheaval have been steadily ratcheting up since January, but for me, as a Black woman, the last few weeks have led to an emotional breaking point on par with summer of 2020. No question, the current state of this country is stressful for everyone, but the mental, practical and psychological toll is far, far greater for some of us — like Black and brown people, trans folks, and immigrants for whom the implications go well beyond intellectual disagreements, or provocative headlines, or “finding common ground” or “reaching across the aisle” — it’s much deeper, more visceral. A consideration of our very humanity. It doesn’t get more personal than that.
The fever pitch of hate speech and the zeal of people who have been empowered to use their platforms to deliver it means that I, as a Black woman, must contend with being assaulted on a daily basis with messages about how stupid, incompetent, dangerous, and generally lacking I am. Even worse than having to be subjected to these comments by any one individual with a podcast or a podium, is the feeling that it taps into widespread beliefs. For any one individual offering these virulent sentiments, there are hundreds of thousands nodding along silently. Or even cheering. And a state apparatus that relishes and legitimizes it at a national level.
This is on top of the very real practical and tangible concerns — Black people (women especially) are losing their jobs at higher rates than ever thanks to DEI rollbacks; racial violence is at an historic high; many of us have to ponder terrifying questions: Will my marriage remain legal? Will I be torn from my family? Am I safe from harm when I step out of my front door?
Given all of this, I want to tell you that many of your Black and brown friends and LGTBQ colleagues are not okay.
You may see a colleague killing it at her job, upbeat as ever as she delivers a marketing plan. You may see that Latina journalist you admire churning out essays and books and offering hugs on tour. The young Arab woman whose GWWM videos you love shows the world a big smile on Instagram. The trans student who just arrived for their freshman year of college and is looking tentatively around the lecture hall for a welcoming smile. It may look like business as usual, but I can promise you that is a parent, colleague, or student with a heavy, fearful heart. I know, because she is me. A Black woman who must do her best day in and day out, tackling book edits, getting some exercise, grabbing groceries and catching up on Shrinking, all while her humanity is threatened and her worth is questioned on a constant basis.
I fear the toll of living with this level of despair might be hard for people who don’t experience it to understand. Some people — white people, cis people — as compassionate and outraged as they may be, remain assured (safe) in the knowledge that they’ll never face these types of situations or have to absorb this vitriol on a personal level. That’s not to say the empathy isn’t real (or welcomed), it’s just that it’s different. White people are also free of the fear of being a target. Some might think the idea we could go back to slavery is outlandish, or revel in how far we’ve come since Jim Crow, or claim we just need to wait out this moment. But people of color understand in our bones that the sentiments — the hate and abject racism — that drove those policies, laws, and mindsets don’t just remain, but are flourishing. And thus a rising, palpable, and justifiable fear. We know, the past is always prologue.
My father, in the last months of his life, bemoaned how bad things had gotten. This was a Black man who was born in 1940 and who came of age during (legal and de facto) segregation, which he would go on to fight to dismantle personally and professionally. And with all he’d seen and lived through in his 84 years, he felt, in 2024, that race relations were the worst they’d been in his lifetime. That’s the despair that comes when progress slips away — it can feel worse to face a backslide than to exist in the status quo. Having the blanket ripped from you on a frigid night is almost more cruel than never having experienced warmth at all.
That’s what makes this moment difficult, too — many of the Black and brown people among us allowed ourselves hope in the halcyon days of 2020, even against our better judgment, and now the pessimism, bitter as it is familiar, has come roaring back. We knew better. That’s clearly borne out in how quickly the country moved on from what turned out to be a fleeting era of listening and learning, and the clamoring for allyship and the marches and protests and think pieces and bestselling books about race. When we need them the most, the voices calling for change or offering support have gone awfully silent.
In the most generous way, I can chalk that up to being too scared of the consequences or to a sense of overwhelm that settles into weary acceptance. There was a sincere effort to effect change, but it didn’t amount to much, and now the pendulum has swung back, hard, slapping us in the face. Case in point: I had a white person in my circle say to me, “People have moved on from race” with a passive resignation. I’m sure she didn’t realize how insensitive or thoughtless this statement came across to me, a Black woman. After all, I haven’t moved on from my skin color. What a luxury to be able to give up and say, “Well, at least I’m okay,” to be able to hunker down and carry on, betting on the fact that you can ride out whatever else is coming in terms of the stability and civility of our society (and it’s scary to think what that might be) in relative safety shielded by your skin color, bank account, immigration status, gender, etc. Hope itself, like so much else in this country, is a resource available to some of us more than others.
As a cry for help, I offer five more things that I want to tell my white friends in this particular moment:
* Please understand the degree to which Black and brown people (and LGBTQ+ folks) in this country are particularly scared and feel abandoned at the moment and meet that with a clear and unequivocal acknowledgment.
* Consider checking on your POC friends, co-workers and the vulnerable people in your communities with intention and compassion. Allow them the space and opportunity to share their fears and feelings and be able to hold that.
* Be just as eager to seek community and connection with people who look different from you as you were five years ago. The need for open and uncomfortable conversations didn’t magically disappear because the news cycle moved on and the political winds shifted. Allyship isn’t a trend.
* Remember that you do have a voice at the table. We all feel disenfranchised and helpless in the face of dramatic political upheaval, but the fact remains that you can make a difference. If that feels harder today than in 2020 (or even 1965) that’s because it is — that’s not a reason to not do it. Summoning resolve, conviction and moral clarity is the work of our day. Call out hate speech, advocate for diversity in your workplace, and document ICE round-ups in your communities.
* My last reminder is a simple plea to remember: race (still) matters. As does fighting (and it will, alas, require that) to protect all of our rights. More than ever.
Christine Pride is a writer, book editor and content consultant who lives in Harlem, New York. Read all her Race Matters columns here.
P.S. Five things I want to tell my white friends, and where do you feel cultural belonging?
(Photo of Christine Pride by Christine Han.)
Tags: news, race matters
Comments
132 commentsThis is an important column and accompanying comments! Just stopping by to add DON’T GIVE UP! Trump wants people to feel overwhelmed and roll over. We’re not going to do that. We’re going to fight! Please make a plan to show up for the No Kings protest in your area, and bring your friend, neighbor, co-worker and brother. I notice too that the protests are mostly gray panthers, maybe because we are less afraid to speak truth to power and not give a f*ck. Everyone need to get involved! Just keep it peaceful and demand that your voice be heard! There is safety in numbers, and we must show up now. Are you aware of the 3.5% rule? If 3.5% of the people oppose the regime, it brings about change. Check this out: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190513-it-only-takes-35-of-people-to-change-the-world Nothing is more important to your life and the lives of those you love. In the words of John Lewis, “Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.” See you out there!
Amen Julia!!! I’m SO here for this rousing call to action!!!
More of this, please. More unflinching diagnoses of where we are. More recommendations for action. More examples of resistance, more community building. None of us – and especially no white, heterosexual person – has the privilege of staying silent right now. They are coming for every right – same sex marriage, interracial marriage, contraception, no fault divorce, women’s ability to open credit cards, trans people’s very right to exist. In Project 2025 they suggest banning chemotherapy for “child-bearing age” women; a trump-aligned religious nationalist has openly called for banning women from “careerism.” They have systematically bought the courts; they’re zip-tying CHILDREN they’re pulling out of their cribs at night. We ALL need to be using every platform we have, loudly & persistently with those who have maintained their morality and will defend human rights.
Just curious if this blog ever posts an alternative view for the clutched pearl set? There’s some disagreement about Palestine I see, but my Goodness. What an echo chamber! you should be aware that a lot of BIPOC people are happy, and optimistic, well adjusted, and living well / no matter their socioeconomic status – but most importantly bc of their community of support and their faith – and ye,s some support Trump, and that is OK! bc we live in America, the greatest country ever- and differences should be celebrated. have some appreciation :) I go on here a few times a year, and I’m sure this won’t get posted to the commentary – as per usual with my courteous yet contrary POV. . But Joannnnnnnnnneee – come on now! Show some diversity of thought in your comments already!
there is actually quite a lot of diversity of thought, I feel, and people duke it out regularly. I warmly invite you to come back more often and see! xoxo
While some BIPOC people may be doing “just fine” or not personally feeling fear because of ways they may feel personally sheltered from violence and harm, that does not mean that many, or most, people feel that way. I suppose that someone could write a piece about how even though the administration regularly denigrates the ability, professionalism, experience, and humanity of BIPOC people, and though the reality that women of color are losing their jobs faster, the wealth gap is growing wider esp. for BIPOC and hate crimes against this population are growing, or that every social safety net, including healthcare, is being systematically destroyed, it doesn’t matter because they *personally* feel protected by their church and their community. But that would read as a pretty selfish and bubbled viewpoint. Wouldn’t it? And who is interested in that?
This comment really irked me on so many levels. A blog (the writers/the owner/the founder – it’s Joanna btw, not Joanne) is allowed to have a set of values and to put things into the world that align with those values. Having conviction is admirable in a time when so many are hemming and hawing. I love this blog all the more for taking a stance. I love Joanna all the more for posting the pro-Palestine stuff she has posted. In a world (or in a US) where there are few safe places for POCs I think it is awesome that my favourite blog is one. It is healthy for people to ensure that they are not consuming media in an echo chamber but I don’t believe that it is the job of a blog to do that.
Thank you for this well-said and thoughtful reminder of the work to be done and the compassion we must find for one another.
Thank you Christine. Such beautiful and authentic writing about the personal realities in this ugly state of affairs and your call to support those who are most vulnerable is inspiring. Thanks also CoJ for publishing this important piece.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dotDm0V41I At the UN last week. UNity!
With you. Fired up, ready to go.
Thank you for sharing this, Christine. I feel this every day. Whenever someone asks, “How are you doing?” I don’t really know how to answer. I say “hangin’ in there,” but the reality is, not well. Although I’m white, I think white passing is really more accurate. I am a Jewish Latina who is an eighth Black. Although I just look like your average white girl (unless you look closely enough at my nose and thighs), my family and friends come in all colors. We also have multiple levels of legal status in this country. I know I have privilege as a white passing cis woman, but I am constantly worried for my family and friends and have not been unscathed by what is happening. I was RIFed earlier this year. I was one of three Latinas at my agency by the time I was RIFed and the only native Spanish speaker. Now there are no Latinos at the agency left. Just today, my husband and I were at the National Museum of African American History and Culture. One of the exhibits had a timeline showing how some Black people had more rights early on in the building of this nation. How at the beginning, slavery was not considered to be for life, and people could have interacial marriages, among other rights. And then, how laws were developed to strip these rights away. Seeing that timeline made me think about the moment we are in now, where our rights across the country are being stripped away. I know this seems crazy, but even my husband, a cis white man, is losing his strength and patience after seeing the harm that is happening to our loved ones (and those we don’t know) and a year of being vilified as a federal worker. Anyway, I know this is a long rant, but your piece hit me. I know we have to keep fighting, but we’re barely hanging on, trying to survive. I know that’s where they want us, though. As a white Latina, I know I’m probably not who you were speaking for (especially since so many of our community threw the rest of us under the bus), but you still did. So thank you.
Thank you so much for posting this, Christine. I am sending you love.
Thank you so much for posting this. This morning as I was driving into work as a POC, I was listening to the radio, and my biggest worry was that I would be captured by ‘visitors’ to my midwest city, and not see my child again.
I have been hungry for this type of post. Thank you so much, Christine, for writing it, and COJ, for posting it. I have been reading the news and also the fantastically well-curated https://kottke.org/ which has helped me think through fascism, opposition, and what I can do to be most helpful. For me, it starts by thinking about where I have the power to effect the most change and focusing on that as my priority.
You are seen and heard and incredible, Christine.
Thank you. I see you and I hear you.
It takes courage to look at oneself and the world as it truly is. As white women, we need to not turn away.
Thank you for writing and posting this. I hope there will be more articles like this on Cup of Jo to balance out the lighter pieces that normally populate this site. I appreciate the diversion those pieces can bring to my day but serious times also call for serious thoughts and discussion —so please do more of this!
Yes! I’ve been thinking maybe we need a primer on the constitution, free speech, and fascism, to fully understand what is happening right now and why it is so urgent. Even if you are not afraid for your bodily safety because you are white and/or have some privilege that makes you think you are not a target, people need to understand that this does and will affect them greatly. Limiting the freedom for some people will always limit the freedom of others. These things tend to start out slow, but it’s in these “slow” moments that we still have the chance to stand up and fight back and stop it from getting worse. Also just to note – Christine is telling us from the perspective of people of color, the LGBTQ community, and others who are vulnerable, this is not “slow” for them, it’s very very real and happening now. We need to listen to them! There is power in how many readers Cup of Jo has. Especially those of us (myself included) who are not primary targets right now, we need to stand up and make a racket.
Love this idea. As an immigration attorney who spends my days ensuring that my immigrant clients’ constitutional rights (like due process; 4th Amendment; 6th Amendment, etc…) are fought for, I have watched with grand dismay at the way the Trump Administration is violating the constitution and threatening democracy. This is something I write about and talk about frequently in presentations. It’s easy to say: well they are just immigrants (or however people justify it to themselves), but the fact is that these violations and the disintegration of the Rule of law are a slippery slope – once the government can justify violating the constitution in one instance, it can continue to do so. I am a staunch advocate for (and reader of; lover of) the Constitution and American History, and I wish everyone had to take the US Naturalization Civics Test – particularly our government officials. People need to be reminded of the roots of democracy and the fact that we must all be engaged in fighting for it. A government by the people needs the buy-in and work of the people. But most of us are just (literally) phoning it in. Anyway – this has little to do with the truly beautiful writing and emotional plea of Christine, which I appreciate her sharing. I do hope that Jo continues to offer these substantive conversations. It’s my every-second of every-day, and I wish more people were screaming about it.
You put into words how I’ve been feeling, Christine, thank you. Same sex marriage, brown, and my wife’s immigration status is still pending, coming from a country at great odds with the US. Each of our families are in places with active or impending war. This year has been me learning how to wake up each day with fear and keep going. My mental health has never been tested this much. I have a hard time listening to unaffected people wringing their hands. I don’t want to hear jokes about leaving the US from people with US passports. I’m trying to switch from beer to knitting.
To any knitters or those switching from beer to knitting-dedicated knitter here. Happy to start a Cup of Jo Knitting Group. Just say the word.
Hi Jody– please know I’m with you and I understand. As much as anything this essay was about sharing my feelings so others in the same position know they aren’t alone with this emotional burden.
It’s taken a minute for me to sit with this post and everyone’s responses. Thank you Jody and Christine and Joanna and everyone. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this space where we can hear from each other during this absolutely dark and terrifying time. It is a nightmare and all of my words feel insufficient. I am, by accident of birth, among the privileged during this terror but loved ones all around are in the firing line. I’m so sorry to hear about your father Christine. The fact that he lived through so much to only see our ugliest backsliding at the end of his life is one of the most haunting things I’ve heard. May we be inspired by him and everyone who came before that fought to make this country live up to its ideals. Thank you again for your voice and thank you for the call to action. Apparently we need to be called again and again and again. Sending love, courage and solidarity to everyone finding ways to keep standing up and fighting back.
Yes to the knitting group! maybe on Ravelry? I am frkompott. Knitting is one of my coping strategies and I would love a post on the Knitters of CoJ and their projects.
Love it Stacy and Elisabeth! I made a Knitters of CoJ group on Ravelry for us. Hoping I can add you both as editors and moderators if you want ;). Let’s see what everyone is making!!! https://www.ravelry.com/groups/knitters-of-coj
Thank you so much Christine
Thank you for this, thank you.
First they came for the Communists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Communist Then they came for the Socialists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Socialist Then they came for the trade unionists And I did not speak out Because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for the Jews And I did not speak out Because I was not a Jew Then they came for me And there was no one left To speak out for me – Pastor Martin Niemöller He was a supporter of the Nazi party until Hitler began to control churches; then he spoke out and was imprisoned in a concentration camp. For those of us who are safe right now, we must fight. Or one day, none of us will be safe.
Thank you for posting this. Yes to every word.
Be just as eager to seek community and connection with people who look different from you as you were five years ago. The need for open and uncomfortable conversations didn’t magically disappear because the news cycle moved on and the political winds shifted. Allyship isn’t a trend. Amen.
“Having the blanket ripped from you on a frigid night is almost more cruel than never having experienced warmth at all.” What a beautiful and heartbreaking sentence. Thank you for this thoughtful, thought-provoking, piece.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Christine. We need to hear this – and act on it.
I so appreciate when CoJ gives platforms people to talk about issues that are impacting individuals and communities in this country. Keep talking about hard heavy things and keep platforming diverse voices.
As I read through all the comments, I realized I wanted to reply in sympathy and agreement to everyone. I’ll just mention this. There’s a lot of finger pointing because we are all worried and frustrated. We’re on the same side. Let’s not get sidetracked. Our biggest power right now as individuals is financial. Billionaires control this country today and now that the empathy & kindness requirement has gone out the window, they only see in dollar signs. Realistically, they are the ones who can bring about the fastest end to this madness, but only if their shareholder price is affected. Several members in my family are in finance and they say the backside of that industry is gearing up for a looming recession. So save what you can. Spend only on what’s necessary. Only 31% of Americans voted for this hate and insanity. We have more power than we think.
Thank you for this important reminder, Jane.
Jane, I appreciate what you wrote. Can you clarify the 31%? I thought, unfortunately, that many more of ‘us’ voted for this shit, which is so disheartening. Christine, thank you for your beautiful writing and reminders. Your dad’s perspective hit me particularly hard. Gonna keep on fighting to turn this goddamn ship around.
Annie K., she is correct. More people decided not to vote than the people who voted for T****p.
Annie, I am not able to look it up at the moment, But I’m guessing that’s the percentage of PEOPLE, TOTAL who voted for this and not the percentage of voters. Because a LOT of people feel so disenfranchised they don’t bother to vote.
Annie K: Yes, my pleasure. Facts are very important and Trump makes a habit of lying outright or lying through omission, with the unfortunately successful hope that people make incorrect biased assumptions or not check. (Note: Different sources have slightly different numbers but not enough to change percentages) Total number of voting eligible population: 244,666,890 (Univ FL Election Lab and US News & World report) Total number of votes for Trump: 77,303,568 (Amer Pres. Proj) Total Number of votes for Harris: 75,019,230 (Amer Pres. Proj) 77,303,568 divided by 244,666,890 = 31% US Voter turnout is historically low and there are many causes. I want to highlight that gerrymandering isn’t simply a re-drawing lines. It can force voters to travel an hour away to vote in person. Then these states make only a handful of polling locations forcing voters to wait many hours in the hot sun or rain. It is no surprise that some employers only give a couple hours to vote knowing full well these working class voters can’t afford to lose their jobs to vote. Additionally there’s the horrific situations where Proud Boys show up with flags & automatic rifles saying they’re “protecting voters” and the local police do nothing. You don’t me to tell you just exactly who the voter target is. Hope this all helps!
Annie K: Forgot to put in that 36% of eligible voters did not vote in 2024. Trump only received .9% more votes than Harris (that’s a point nine!).
Thank you so much for writing this! Very important reminders.
Thank you for this, Christine. And thank you especially for your inclusion of trans folks. The silence from so-called cis allies has been deafening. The white community’s failure to continue to engage in discussions on race and actively work to dismantle systemic racism is unconscionable. Complacency is compliance. If you are cis/het, white and able-bodied, and aren’t actively speaking up and fighting, please. start. NOW. Call your reps, write letters to voters, go to protests, donate to local organizations, run for a local office, go to city council meetings, push to keep book bans out of schools, push to keep DEI IN schools. Bring that same energy you brought to Jimmy Kimmel to everyone else.
This is so powerful – a practical question related to this: “ * Consider checking on your POC friends, co-workers and the vulnerable people in your communities with intention and compassion. ” – can you share some examples of what that might look/sound like? I have this impulse often but sometimes back away for fear of doing it “wrong.”
Hi Sara– I think if you approach anything with vulnerability and genuine concern you can’t go wrong… “I know it’s so tough out there and I wanted to see how you’re holding up?” Simple, but effective.
In our house we’re having conversations about my spouse carrying documentation of his citizenship because he’s brown and speaks with an accent. Sigh. Soaking up the ideas here for action! Personally I believe pressuring our elected representatives is where to make try to effectuate change for the terrible policies. Now is not the time to stay silent.
Thank you so much for putting into words what’s running through my head. I am absolutely appalled by what I see happening at the National level and by broad American acceptance of unacceptable racist and anti-LGBTQ+ statements and behaviors., and I often feel very alone. Thank you for reminding me I’m NOT alone, and voices are powerful.
Hi Jennifer! Yes, I think it’s the silence as acceptance piece that’s hard. As the level of vile rhetoric rises and rises, folks just still stay silent. My piece here was, in part, to say, this is how that silence is experienced by vulnerable communities– it looks like disregard. Thank you for reading and for your comment! And your work.
Thanks so much, Christine.
Thinking about how scared I feel as a 35 year old cis white person who has been an activist since college, worrying about how my name is I’m sure on left wing “extremist” lists. I’ve been photographed at protests, I’ve signed a thousand online leftist petitions etc., and I realize the fear I feel for myself is probably less than 10% of the fear that POC, trans, and disabled folks feel right now, and that is truly horrifying. Thank you for writing these action steps, they are so helpful.
Thank you for sharing Christine. How hard to have to share all over again. While I check in with those I know who are not okay, I deeply appreciate your eloquent words. They inspire me to do more.
The group that is ALWAYS left out is people with disabilities! All the programs being cut are not just harming POC. It’s targeting folks with disabilities too. We are NEVER seen or considered.
oh, dana, I hear you, and I’m so sorry it’s coming across like that! Christine, I know, is extremely inclusive in her thinking, and it was an editing error on my part not to clearly include folks with disabilities in this piece. I’m really sorry. here are some past posts about disability on Cup of Jo, and one of our favorite writers Kelly Dawson has a great essay coming up soon about her experience traveling with a cane. we will keep writing about disability and doing better. https://cupofjo.com/tag/disability/ thank you again for writing, and my sincere apologies. we see you. joannaxoxo
It broke my heart to see “disability” and “accessibility” on DOGE’s cut list (e.g. the words DOGE searched for to cut funding from “DEI” https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2025/03/15/these-197-terms-may-trigger-reviews-of-your-nih-nsf-grant-proposals/). My son has a disability. Before this, it felt like we were making real progress, at least locally, on getting wide buy-in on how making things more accessible for people with disabilities also tends to make them better for people without. Now, I can’t help but think he has a target on his back. All the programs that help him…and more importantly, all the public programs that helped kids in his school who CAN’T access private pay services due to income or immigration status…are under attack. It’s scary. I really worry about a rise in eugenics-type rhetoric and policy decisions. It doesn’t feel that far off to me to defund needed, proven programs that people need to survive or thrive. Christine, thank you for sharing this, and for sharing your father’s heartbreak over where we are now. That sense of loss, of despair, feels so real and so palpable to me. The history of racism (slavery, racism/Jim Crow, the codified racism that is our immigration code, Native genocide) and disability are intertwined in some of our country’s darkest moments and most troublingly persistent beliefs that some of us are worth more than others. What helps me is to show up locally in my community–volunteering for ICE watch, donating extra to the food pantry, talking with my neighbors–and even more so, in those dark nights of the soul when fear takes over, to remember that each of us belongs to God. Nobody else gets to define us. I will take your words to heart in the coming days.
I’m glad Christine shared this piece, even though I read it with a heavy heart. And I know it’s not practical for every writer to include every group every time they sit down to write. Sometimes it is good to just focus, instead of feeling like if a person doesn’t include all the things, then it’s some egregious failing. As a mom of a kiddo with autism, my internal monologue was definitely screaming the whole time I read this. I’ll take deep breaths to calm that part of myself and sit with Christine’s insights. Just because I feel threatened, like I won’t be able to keep my child safe in this world, doesn’t make her message any less true, urgent, or valuable.
Thank you for seeing us. I think what’s really painful for me is that as someone with multiple disabilities, I have to constantly FIGHT everyday of my life for even a baseline of consciousness from folks. Why? Because folks like me are invisible to everyone. It’s beyond common for people to claim to be trauma informed all the time while doing insane levels of harm, especially at work! I also have physical disabilities because people with severe developmental trauma (as young children) are prone to cancer and other horrible autoimmune diseases, and neurodivergence. I am constantly subjected to ignorance that is incredibly destructive but I’m white so I shouldn’t “complain” to many. Even though my trauma happened at the age of 4 by watching my 4 month brother get killed in front of me. Followed by insane abuse and neglect for years. Now I have severe physical disabilities from that. The healthcare system refused to diagnose the permanent damage in my body by saying it was all in my head. No one understands these co-morbidities. Is it possible to support all groups suffering right now? There needs to be a lot of consciousness brought forward because DEI includes people with disabilities. I am involved in many equity groups for all folks experiencing injustice. I do training on what it ACTUALLY means to be trauma-informed. I used to be a teacher supporting and standing up for ALL kids. They didn’t like me because my equity work was “too spicy” (that’s what the leadership literally said) because I was standing up for all the communities that Christine was talking about in her post. But, you know who is constantly left out? Kids with childhood developmental trauma and those who have it but are adults now. What do we all think happens to all these kids that “survive” school shootings???? What do we think is happening to kids who “just” have to go through active shooter drills???? I’ve done them and had to look at the faces of children. It is traumatizing them -the drills!!! Give me space here to talk about these widely forgotten issues.That is what I need. To make this world more compassionate for those who are forgotten and not seen. (I appreciate that you are making an effort to see us after editing us out).
Yes. We are invisible and also targeted for different reasons. We are extremely vulnerable to physical attacks not to mention other ways those with various disabilities are more vulnerable to scams, physical and financial mistreatment. Thanks for bringing this up.
Hi Dana! I share Joanna’s apology. My brother is deaf, and my parents were disability activists as well– my dad worked for many years for the federal government in disability services– (he’d be heartbroken to see the programs and initiatives he built be dismantled) so it’s certainly not out of any personal oversight. But sharing my pain and personal experience as a Black woman does not reflect an inherent disregard for anybody or any other group’s challenges. This was a very personal lens.
Christine, thank you for writing this. I am a white woman in her mid-60s and I have agree with your father about race relations. It saddens and troubles me greatly. Unfortunately I’ve had to step away from both family and friends who think this administration is so great. I’ve spoken up but they see me as someone who is brainwashed. I shake my head wondering what it is that I see that they don’t.
grateful towards you Christine, to pour out and share this post with us as systemic and specific things work to empty you all the more. Your words are a gift
Christine, thank you for reaching out to all of us. 1. I’ve shared this post and the 2020 post on my FB account, in hopes that it will be read by my friends, and will spark discussion too. 2. I hear you. I think about my own fear and anxiety and dread….. and yet how privileged and safe i am comparatively, and I imagine yours must border on unbearable many days. And it’s only increasing. 3. I pledge to do these five things. Finally, and I yell this constantly. We are now living in 1930 whatever Germany. Hitler has told the world what he would do, way back in the 20s, and he’s following his own manual to a T. In 1936, there was still time and the chance to change course. By 1939, there was not. For all the parades and pride and make Germany great again for a FEW years……. Dresden was coming. Maybe you don’t care about the millions that will die. Maybe you don’t care about a world almost destroyed. Maybe you don’t care about the aftermath in the east. But do you care if you happen to live in Dresden? As afraid a we are now, as seemingly strong as the fascists now are, they WILL fall. And we, as Americans who didn’t stop this, will fall too. Perhaps we will take the entire planet down with us. I don’t know how we stop this, I just know what will happen if we don’t.
Hi Sasha– thank you for commenting and sharing my post. If anything I do hope it helps drive discussions. I don’t disagree with you about the historical parallels thus my/our alarm. And thus how we keep having to yelling for action.
Thank you and I’m sorry. In addition to larger things (voting, donating, going to protests, posting on FB and Insta about issues, telling my employer I am not okay with the way they have drawn back from diversity events and support) one small thing I’ve been doing is noticing and acting when I see (as I do, now that I am looking) white men try to cut around brown people in line (at the farmers’ market, in the elevator line at the hospital, etc). I block them with my body and if needed I point out the line and ask them to move back or not try to cut it. “Do you see the other people here?” They move back, they seem embarrassed, and I hope they realize that no, they didn’t see people – they saw only themselves.
I absolutely love this, Cris. I’m going to start looking out for the same occurrences where I live.
Yes!!!! Everything helps. Well said!!!
Thank you for the rally call, Christine. Please know that there are many of us by your side doing everything we can to battle the ignorance that is revealing itself in our country. It’s disgusting that we even have to do it. As a child of immigrants, I shouldn’t have to tell my aunt to turn off Fox news or argue with my born-again Christian sister about voting for Drumpf but apparently I have to and I do. I am fully aware that as a White CIS female, I have the luxury of being outspoken without fearing (too much) for my life, a luxury that not everyone has. As such, I am taking full advantage and charging forward. Silence is agreement. Let us not be silent.
Thank you. Just a personal tale: I literally do worry same-sex (and then interracial) marriage will be undone. Every straight person I know thinks (and tells me) I’m certifiably insane. Zero desire to listen, just a discomfort about having to face that so they shut me down. Guess what every queer person I know feels about it? Yeah, same as me. Privilege makes us willfully blind ourselves to uncomfortable things, and the communities being harmed just continue to suffer without our support. We ALL have an array of marginalized and privileged identities (esp. considering virtually this entire readership is cis women). Any misunderstanding about that, at this point, is willful.
Straight person here. If you’re insane, so am I.
People really need to suspend their disbelief and understand that we’re being aggressively pushed toward a Christian Nationalist agenda and overturning gay marriage is very much part of that agenda (and overturning interracial marriage honestly wouldn’t surprise me, either). I felt like Cassandra, trying to warn people of the dead seriousness of Project 2025, but I was also warning people during the first Trump term when I saw how many members of the powerful Christian Nationalist think tank Council for National Policy he was surrounded by. Please, everyone, don’t think anything is “too extreme” to happen here. The administration just issued a national security directive that’s extremely broad in its reach, putting a huge amount of activists and protestors at risk as well as potentially any of us that support those causes deemed “extreme.” https://truthout.org/articles/national-security-directive-declares-war-on-those-who-dont-support-trump-agenda/
Well, I’m not queer but I share your concern. Part of the mental toll is people telling you you’re crazy or over-reacting or their simply not being able to understand what it feels like to have fears like this since it doesn’t affect them. That’s what I was trying to get at here. If Roe V Wade could get overturned, Obergefell v. Hodges is just as vulnerable. And we ALL (we straight people too) have to be VIGILANT to make sure that doesn’t happen. Sending solidarity.
Ditto what Kristin said. My straight spouse and friends agree with you, Sarah.
I’d add: If you made your concern about Ukraine very public, but have stayed quiet about Palestine, your BIPOC friends probably have some feelings about that.
Trying to shame people isn’t going to help your cause. Everyone isn’t going to respond to every atrocity in this world with the exact enthusiasm you want.
Same regarding if you boycotted Disney for Jimmy Kimmel and not for Palestine as we have been asking for for the past 2 years…we’ve got big feelings about that too.
Kay, I think the Disney boycott was very straightforward so it was easy to do (similarly with Target), but I’m not sure what the boycott in support of Palestine entails. I have been calling for institutions that I’m affiliated with to divest (and my church passed a resolution affirming our support for an end to the genocide and independence for Palestine), but I haven’t seen a clear targeted boycott. Would you mind posting it? (I have wondered about a tax strike, given what our taxes are funding 😰)
Hey @smoothliminal, I would look at the BDS movement (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanction), which is 20 years old and probably the most widely known and well-established boycott in support of Palestine. https://bdsmovement.net/ BDS partners with the app Boycat to explain boycott targets too, for anyone looking for clarification on its priorities. @Ashley Ford, I thought the point of Christine’s post was to shake privileged folks out of their indifference and silence in incredibly hard times. That might be a little uncomfortable, and that discomfort might be experienced as shame, but marginalized people are allowed to express their anger and hurt without being tone policed or dismissed for not “helping” their cause. I doubt the genocide will end if people would just ask nicely. I think of Frederick Douglass in these circumstances: “Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.”
(Oh god just to be clear I did NOT mean to @ Ashley Ford…)
Thanks, Emily and Kay. From the BDS website: “Disney+ Cancel or don’t sign up for Disney+ subscriptions! Disney and its subsidiary Marvel are complicit in glorifying Israel’s regime of genocide and apartheid against Indigenous Palestinians. Marvel’s Captain America: Brave New World and Disney’s Snow White star actors Shira Haas and Gal Gadot, respectively, that have consciously and irrefutably taken up roles as cultural ambassadors for Israel, directly representing genocidal Israel’s propaganda efforts. For Captain America, Marvel and Disney are reviving the racist character of Ruth Bat-Seraph, whose decades-old backstory includes working for Mossad. Disney+ is therefore clearly implicated in enabling Israel’s genocide by dehumanizing Palestinians.”
“Allyship isn’t a trend.” YES! thank you for putting that into words. It’s so easy to get swept up in the performative noise online. Social media is rarely an accurate or honest reflection of reality. We know that when it comes to GRWMs, grocery hauls, or influencer events—but when things get real (and dangerous), platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook simply can’t capture what lived experiences actually feel like. Allyship happens in our communities, in the everyday moments where we choose to show up for one another. Here’s to doing more of that—every day, in real life
Thank you for this post. I hear you. I am a middle-aged white woman and I am terrified by what feels like the performative helplessness I see from so many white people right now. “Oh, this is awful, but too bad there’s nothing I can do.” This is not how we defeat religious extremists, greedy billionaires, and authoritarians! I am stepping up my activism and resistance and trying to get others to join me. It’s hard! People don’t want to do this right now. It’s safer to feel helpless than to fight and feel that it’s hard to fight. I’m in, though; I’m in for the fight.
Love this and I’m 100% with you. I am tired of hearing “thank you for representing” regarding protests. I’m inviting everyone I can!!!
Thank you for writing this, Christine. This line: “Having the blanket ripped from you on a frigid night is almost more cruel than never having experienced warmth at all” explains the pain of feeling seen and understood – making the sudden re-forgetting or re-ignoring from others unspeakably brutal. May we all contribute to greater warmth and light ahead. I take your words (five things) as instruction. Grateful.
A professor of mine is an Indian immigrant on an H1B visa and has shared how terrifying this moment is for him. He has stopped going to the grocery store, or out at all besides to teach, with his partner driving him. Families that I work with in a majority Latinx town have stopped seeking government assistance that they are entitled to because they fear that their immigrant family members’ information would be used against them. Things are scary right now.
This is such an important reminder. Being white won’t save us in the long run. As Audre Lorde so powerfully said, “Your silence will not save you.” I think many of my fellow white women believe they can simply hunker down and ride this out — without realizing that once everyone else has been othered into oblivion, we’re next. Now (as always is the case, because none of this is new, to a country built on slavery and violence) is the time to show up — to do the work, to help however we can, and to stand alongside others for as long as it takes. Thank you, Christine, for your words and your work.
Everything in this essay is exactly right. Thank you, Christine. This line in particular sums it up: What a luxury to be able to give up and say, “Well, at least I’m okay,” to be able to hunker down and carry on.
The murder of George Floyd broke my heart. My husband and I watched every minute of that trial. One of the things that crushed me is George never got to see how the whole world reacted to his murder. He died in the street probably feeling HE was in the wrong. I hope not but still. Also it makes me physically ill to remember how he called his murderer ” sir ” while he was being killed. I feel physically ill when I think about that. I will never ever ever forget. Thank you for writing this piece.
Thank you Christine. I can do those five things and will continue to raise my children to be people with awareness and compassion. I remain committed to my professional work of combating discrimination, but the challenges of doing so within the confines of the systems of marginalization and oppression remain.
Thank you for this important post. As many comments here have alluded to or said, all of us continuing to highlight ways people can take action right now would be one step in making our vulnerable neighbors feel supported and all of us feel some iota of hope. I would humbly suggest DC communities as a great jumping off point. We are under occupation and ICE is rampant in our neighborhoods. My children attend a Spanish bilingual public school and ICE regularly conducts detentions or “arrests” directly outside the school during arrival and dismissal. Everyone is absolutely terrified. However, community groups are really stepping up and there are a million ways to get involved – fundraising, driving or escorting kids to school whose parents are scared to leave their house (the schools are arranging this and you can reach out – you do need to do a training), ICE watch safety teams, etc etc. DC has been a testing ground for the rest of the country, so we are seeing what is coming and we can share our lessons and approaches. Second, I recommend Garrett Bucks’ substack. Particularly his most recent essay “Ezra Klein, have you considered just hosting a potluck? Or volunteering for an ICE Watch, or organizing a childcare cooperative, or throwing an intergenerational block party…” It is a good analysis of the situation, AND Garrett is all about small but important allyship and resistance ACTION. https://thewhitepages.net/p/ezra-klein-have-you-considered-just?r=4wjdj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thank you! These are badass suggestions.
Yes, this. I am in a diverse DC neighborhood and the national guard is using our school parking lot as their staging ground. Part of their mission is to take pictures of themselves with children to document their “historic deployment.” We were instructed that we have to explicitly tell the guard if we do NOT consent to their photographing themselves with our children. I feel sick to my stomach at the idea of my kids being used for their propaganda and also we have many members of our communities who do not feel they are safe in pushing back. We are doing a lot of the same community led ICE prevention actions. Highly recommend all the links above!!
As someone else living through this madness in DC, thank you! I hadn’t known of Garrett’s writing and really like this piece.
Excellent essay, Kelly. Thank you for posting it!
Thank you for your time and trust in sharing this with the community.
I appreciate this column and would like to add to please think about and be mindful of your Jewish friends and neighbors. Antisemitism is at an all-time high both in the US and abroad, and it is very hard for us to feel safe even in the bluest of cities at the moment.
Yes, thank you for this article but also plus one to this comment. Once you start listing many groups, its apparent who you leave out. Two Jewish people were gunned down for simply being Jewish close to my home, in one of the most liberal cities in the country. I read comments from people saying they deserved it. These are scary times for the Jewish community too, especially as allies fall away, our experience is ignored (like in this article) or outright dismissed, and we are no longer welcome in progressive circles where we have typically found a home.
❤️
yes to this! just today, on Yom Kippur of all days, a vile attack on a synagogue in the UK left 2 dead. It’s a scary time to be Jewish anywhere in the world.
Thank you Tara and to everyone mentioning Jews. I went to synagogue yesterday and there were 12 armed guards outside protecting us from violence and hatred simply because we are Jews. My 5-year-old went up to the police officer posted out front and asked “if someone comes to hurt us, will you die?” All I could think was how lucky we are to have so much protection. Not everyone is so lucky. I live in New York, a generally safe place for Jewish people. We are terrified.
Yes, I was coming to say the same thing. I’d love a “5 things I want to share about being Jewish” post.
Yes to this! Came to the comment section to state how lonely and scary it is to be Jewish right now in the US (and nearly everywhere else in the world).
Came here to say the same thing. I know Jews don’t fit into the white vs poc narrative, as we come in all colors, but the omission reaffirms that “jews don’t count” and are repeatedly left out of allegedly progressive conversations around identity based discrimination. It feels even more pointed when the facts are staggering: 1 in 3 has experienced antisemitism in the last year and 83% of Jewish US college students reported experiencing or witnessing some form of antisemitism. I’d love to hear from the author about why when care was taken to mention so many other groups.
Vitally important writing and I appreciate knowing you’ll continue to highlight the lived reality of so many Jo.
Thank you for this post Christine, and Cup of Jo. I’m a cis-gendered middle aged white woman who recently moved to the US from Canada, and am reminded daily of the ignorance and ease with which I have been able to walk through life because of my skin, sexual orientation and narrow bubble within which I lived much of my life. I’m now in an inter-racial relationship, and live in a city that is predominantly black and brown. I’m frankly terrified for my partner and my friends. I’ve chosen to put myself in a place of listening and learning (or perhaps more accurately “unlearning”), which is something a lot of us white folks (especially white women) need to do. Decentering ourselves, shutting the hell up, taking a deep breath when we feel confronted by our own privilege, and letting ourselves be deeply uncomfortable with the truth of that privilege. And be open and receptive to being checked and having your privilege pointed out to you. One of the most powerful things we can do besides listening, educating/re-educating ourselves, is fight with our dollars. Seek out and support black and brown owned businesses and promote and support those with your purchasing power. We can also amplify black/brown/trans/LGBTQ+ voices, art, literature and community initiatives. Push through our own fear and speak up – show up at marches and rallies, call and/or write to our representatives, boycott companies and businesses with discriminatory/abusive policies and practices (and let them know WHY you are taking your business elsewhere). Sometimes I’m nervous to openly engage in conversations about white privilege, racism and discrimination because I’m afraid to say the wrong thing or make someone feel like I’m expecting them to educate me. But I received some good advice the other day, which was to seek out black and brown folks who have deliberately taken up the work of being educators in this area – buy and read their books, go to their workshops, follow them on social media, engage in their community forums. Go to black history museums and exhibits. Go to human rights museums. Do all you can to learn about other people’s historical and current experiences – even when it’s uncomfortable, painful, or challenges your own beliefs and experiences.
This is where I’m at too, Justine—putting your $$ where your values are. I speak up about it with friends, on cup of Jo (even though my dissenting comments aren’t typically published!), with my neighbours. I moved from the US to Canada and there are lots of immigrants from Australia, Mexico, African countries, Ukraine—I feel SO fortunate to hear their voices. We’re all feeling deeply uncomfortable for different reasons at different times.
hi maydo, thank you for our note! I wanted to make sure your comments were being published — that’s important to us – so I checked our system and you have 89 published comments (including this one) and zero comments in our “trash” or “spam” folders. so I think they are coming through — please email us at [email protected] if you think any are missing. it sometimes just takes a few hours for us to moderate all the comments, in case there is a delay. thank you so much!
The privilege of being able to leave my home on foot or in a vehicle and go to public spaces without being afraid I might be snatched up, assaulted verbally or physically, or otherwise be in harms way is on my mind a lot lately. I’m an immigrant on a green card, and am increasingly uneasy, but the color of my skin means I’m less visible, less of an obvious target. This isn’t lost on me. The fact that anyone has to weigh the risks of going to the grocery store or their job against maybe not coming back home to their families in this country in 2024 is terrifying. It is the slipperiest of slippery slopes and we are already sliding down it. Thank you, Christine, for the energy and effort put into this piece.
D’oh – 2025* – this year is so traumatic for so many reasons, my subconscious is trying to erase it. Anyone else?
Clearly and unequivocally acknowledged. I’ve been craving conversation about how each of us are feeling and surviving this time. Thank you for this. I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.
I hear you, Margot. I have daily conversations with my daughter and son-in-law about the situation we are in. I saw a post recently which has resonated with all three of us. “We will never be able to find the words to explain to future generations what it was like to live in 2025.” January 6th broke us. We simply cannot wrap our brains around how far backwards this country has slipped. We are white and cis and still feel like 1930 German Jews who need to get the hell out. But we can’t take all the people we care about with us so we stay.
Christine, thank you, as always, for your wisdom and courage. The world is unrecognisable. I am exhausted, like so many other people. But we move.
Thank you for this article. Probably the biggest wake up call for me was a TikTok from a Black man that basically boiled down to, “Stop telling me what an ally you are and start telling your white friends and family.” That was when I started the work of getting vocal about deconstructing my Christian Nationalism and tangible ways to support marginalized communities. I lost a lot of my old crowd – I think my Facebook friend count dropped from around 400 to under 200, but I had a few meaningful conversations as a result, most importantly with my sister who started her own departure from fundamentalism. At times there are for sure moments where I question if I’m being performative, but then I think about all my former students who are seeing me have these dialogues, and what a switch that was from what I taught in a private religious right school.
THIS!
This is really helpful and very important. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you, Christine. Thank you for the firm and articulate reminder to hold ourselves accountable for protecting and standing up for and caring for those less privileged. Your words are impactful.
Thank you, Christine and Cup of Jo.
I really and truly wish that COJ‘s articles like these got as many comments as articles about finding a reader a pair of work pants or reading about a couple of preteens in cutesy conversation. 💔
It’s easy to comment on work pants, but I haven’t thought of that article again….while this one has been on my mind constantly. I really don’t think a low comment count means less impact.
I’m not sure that’s a fair assessment of a post’s impact. I can read this, process the information, and figure out how to make meaningful changes to my interactions with the world without leaving a response (although, obviously, I’m responding now). She’s not asking for feedback. Maybe this is a time when some of us can just “listen”, learn, then do.
I wish there was a like button on posts, or a recommend, or a counter to show how many times it’s been shared. I agree that the only way we have of noticing impact is the comments, and yeah, maybe there won’t be a many? Perhaps we can listen. And don’t have to have a response other than, yeah, I hear you Christine, and all the other POC and LBTGQI commenters, and I pledge to do these 5 things. And go back and reread the 2020 requests, and do those too. In short, a lot of “Yes” comments to show support.
Mona, I had a similar thought about wanting to see a higher comment count on this powerful piece. I appreciate those who have made the point not to mistake comment count for impact. This is easily the most impactful thing I’ve read all month, and it will stay with me and change how I show up. Johanna and team, this blog works for so many of us because it doesn’t shy away from heavy stuff…or light stuff. There is so much great writing out there that is focused 24/7 on the heavy stuff. And rightfully so, and I’m truly grateful. But for manny (most?) people, it’s not sustainable to stay heavy all the time. We become overwhelmed…burnt out and ineffective. We need lightness and fun—not in spite of but because of the heavy reality all around us. CoJ does an amazing balancing act. Thank you for creating a space that is both serious and delightful. The balance keeps me coming back every day and the important messages always land.
Thank you!!! It has been infuriating to watch people happily go on with their lives as though they cannot do anything or take any action. I’ve even been told on this website that “life goes on” and people don’t want news of what is happening in the US because this website is their escape. Those comments hurt me deeply because I cannot escape the burden of living a life that people in power want to suppress or extinguish. Too many people are willing to ignore the terror the administration has instilled in the life’s of black, brown, and LGBT people. They rhetorically ask what they can do because they don’t want to accept that doing things might make them uncomfortable or put them at risk. But as the Neimöller poem points out, if we don’t speak up for each other, we are all at risk eventually. So what can you do? A general strike of all US workers would bring this administration to its knees because the only thing they understand is money. But in a country without a social safety net, this is risky so we need to build up to this. I encourage everyone to be a “Karen” for a cause. Get in the business of those in power at the federal, local, and state levels. I’ve been pressing my town and local police chief to not cooperate with ICE and to re-examine their policies of how undocumented immigrants are reported to state and federal authorities automatically. Volunteer to do neighborhood sweeps looking for ICE vehicles or other threats and post that information to local groups so your neighbors stay safe. If you see harassment of any kind, help the person being harassed. There are so many things we can do, but they require us to be uncomfortable. But we need to hold the idea that out of many people, we become one nation by supporting each other however possible.
Fantastic comment Jill. I just went through “bystander training” at my church, specifically which focused largely on ICE raids. The main takeaways that I wasn’t aware of before: – don’t get in the way of ICE or between the person being kidnapped and ICE. This can escalate the situation quickly. The more people there who have weapons, the higher that likelihood of violence; – record the incident from the perimeter; – report to local authorities and support groups; – have your workplace clearly mark which areas are private and which are public. ICE cannot legally enter private areas without a warrant so spaces like offices and stockrooms may be used as sanctuary; – familiarize yourself with what judicial warrants look like so you can recognize faked documents if necessary; – do not center yourself in the situation – reflect on how to help the person being kidnapped. If you know them, help get information to their family and connect them with legal counsel; In addition to asking our town police department not to cooperate with ICE reach out to your school superintendent. Ours schools won’t allow ICE in but they have been asked to initiate a plan to keep kids safe getting to and from their buses. Our bus drivers will be instructed to bring kids back to school if they see activity at children’s homes. –
Thank you Rae!
As a white, cis woman I sincerely thank you for writing this. I’m in the U.K. and things are heading the same way here. Thank you to CoJ for featuring this piece.
Deeply touched by your words. I’m white, French, and your words ring really true to me. I’ll do better thanks to these words Humbly, Chloé
Incredibly written. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Christine! At this time when all of my longtime online loves have become people I don’t recognize and are giving platforms to people that support hate and greed…I am happy that Cup of Jo has made it clear where they stand. PLEASE continue to stand up for what is right and don’t do sponsored posts or feature companies that will be on the wrong side of history.
Thank you.
I wish to peel the layers back and back and back, till we find the core. All people need a home and food and room to both discover and be who we each individually are without someone else telling us this is wrong or not possible. We judge ourselves against something not fully real and then we all become the thing we are afraid of. I keep reminding myself: all people need a home and food and the ability to know and love themself. Something put us all here. We are all different while being made from the same elements. Once we all have what we need (globally) and no one can take this away from anyone else, I wish for this to change the shape of any fear and of any hate. We are afraid that there isn’t “enough” to go around. What if this is so far from the truth? What if we drop this fear and demand that every life on Earth is provided for? It becomes a moot point which groups we belong to and overlap with. It’s doesn’t matter my most inner private beliefs (which are bound to offend someone). What matters is that no one is left out from getting their needs met. Once we see this and do this, we can PLAY! We can have fun and games replace guilt and shame.
I am so grateful for your writing, Christine.