5 Things That Surprised Me About Having a Third Child
Hello beautiful people! How are you? I’ve missed you all so much. I’ve spent the past six months on mat leave snuggling with the newest member of our family, Evelynn. After having my son, Emiliano, I wrote four things that surprised me about having a second child. So, I thought it would be fun to now share five things that have surprised me as a new mom of three…
1. The random milestones are just as beautiful as the big ones. With my first daughter, Ella, I couldn’t wait to see her hit her first few milestones, like rolling over or sitting up on her own. Now, as a mom of three, I still get the excitement for those moments. But you know what’s equally amazing? Seeing their startle reflex for the first time — when they wiggle their tiny arms like they’re trying to grab the air, as I gently lower them onto the changing table. I love listening to their snort-like grunts while they nurse. And once they get the hang of walking, I cherish their footsteps pitter-pattering down the hallway. With each baby, I’ve noticed new milestones that melt my heart.
My mat-leave uniform: oversized T-shirts, maternity leggings, and a baby on my boob :)
2. The urge to feel like I have it together has dropped significantly. As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve always struggled to ask for help. With my first baby, I did everything on my own. With my second, I started accepting help whenever family and friends offered. But during my pregnancy with Evelynn, I quickly realized that Max and I would need all the help we could get. So, I actually reached out to my mom with a list of chores I was struggling to get done before going into labor — including washing our bedroom sheets and cleaning the toilets (!). Part of me felt nervous asking because the chores felt so personal (again, the toilets!). But I imagined what it would feel like coming home to a disheveled home two-days postpartum, with a newborn, toddler, and four-year-old all vying for parental attention — and the anxiety I felt outweighed the embarrassment of asking. When I returned home from the hospital, my mom and grandma had knocked everything off the list – and coming home from the hospital to clean sheets was BLISS. You can always count on women to get shit done.
My aunt Annette, a true saint who always offers to help with my kids!
3. My desire to help other moms out has risen significantly. Last month, I texted a new friend who has a toddler and five-year-old. She mentioned she was sick, and without skipping a beat I offered to drop off soup for dinner. Now I’m not sharing this to brag, just to say that I felt an immediate need to help because I know how bone-achingly hard it is to be sick with two little kids. Over my five years as a mom, I’ve been so lucky to get support from other moms — by putting away a load of clean dishes when they stop by, or taking one of my kids to the potty at a restaurant so I can finish dinner. Paying these good deeds forward feels like an easy way to honor all of the women who have helped me.
4. The more kids you have, the more clearly you realize how you want to spend your time. Having three kids under five leaves me with around 30 minutes of personal time during the day. I’ve realized I like to be outside working in our veggie garden, or lying in bed reading funny novels (I flew through this one). It feels satisfying to know exactly what brings me energy and joy during this busy season.
5. Seeing the similarities between all your kids is a whole new high.
Seeing your new baby make the same eyebrow smirk that their two older siblings made as babies is magic. (Of course, you can experience this with two kids or if your kids have cousins, too.)
Now I’d love to know, what surprised you after having your first or second or third (or fourth??)? Please share below, I’m all ears! And sending love to those who are wishing or trying for a baby. xo
P.S. Three word that changed how I parent, one thing that surprised Joanna about parenting, and what’s the best age gap between siblings?
Comments
163 commentsJannelle, just popped in to say that you look lovely and happy and I am thrilled to see an update on your three beautiful children.
We fought hard for our third after having no issues getting pregnant with her older sisters, so it was a 5 year/8 year gap between my kids. My husband had insisted that he was happy with two and didn’t want me to go through the struggle of miscarriage/fertility failure. But I had this deep sense that our family was not complete. And, as soon as she was born, I had this deep sense that we were all here. Is childcare/hotel/cars/camp more expensive? Yup. But, she brings out a softness and playfulness in her now 13 year old sister and allows her 9 year old sister to still play make believe games. This is such a complicated question, but I think listening to your gut goes a long way.
Oh my goodness! This was my exact experience with our third! The same difficulty conceiving, but feeling like someone was missing, and the absolute RELIEF when he was finally here. I was grateful I only had to dip my toes in the world of infertility because that was rough, but it has made me so much more empathetic of mother’s journeys that don’t look like mine.
Love this post. I had my third last November, and I’ve been surprised how he just fits into our lives. It will of course evolve when he’s older, but at least for our family the transition from 2-3 was much easier than 0-1 or 1-2. I’m very in my feelings this week because it’s the baby’s first week of daycare. A woman in my oldest daughter’s class said no less than THREE times how shocked she was that we put our 3.5 month old in daycare. The first time she said it I ignored it, the second I explained that I needed to go back to work, then after the third time I asked her to stop because I was going to start crying. I would never judge someone for not going back to work after having a baby (lucky them!), but it was quite hard to hear that judgement towards me. She apologized a lot, but it hurts.
Just confirming she is ridiculous. A lot of people have to do it a lot sooner than that! Your baby will do great! Congrats on your third.
Welcome back, Jannelle! I’ve missed your posts! What surprised me the most about having my second is how we feel so much more like a family unit. With my oldest I felt like we were always looking for play dates, weekend plans, etc. to keep her entertained but now I look forward to the quiet, cozy family weekends with the 4 of us
Welcome back, Janelle!
One of my favorite things about having a third—and that really makes me want a 4th if I were younger—is seeing the different relationships they have with each other. The way my firstborn relates to my 2nd is totally different to how he relates to the 3rd. And if I’d never had a 3rd, I wouldn’t have met the surprisingly sweet boy who resides inside the tough shell of my 2nd. You realize that each person in the family relates differently to each of the others, and you get to see different sides to everyone when they relate with a different person. There are parts of my oldest son whom I never would have met if I hadn’t had my youngest! And what gorgeous being who resides in each of them am I NOT meeting because there isn’t yet another beatific being to bring something new out??? Yes, this could cascade forever, and it’s done at three for us, but it’s been such a wonder to watch them become alongside each other.
That smile on the little one! My kids are now adults, but a do remember a few things that fascinated me , still…When they discover their hands, looking at them, fascinated, while lying on the changing table! And the joy and pride my son took, looking out for his baby sister…just randomly hugging her, saying I love you!
Welcome back!! You sound so happy – I could feel your words radiate with joy and content. Can CoJ write a story about when you knew it was time to go from 2->3/4/more? Seriously contemplating it as time is ticking, and everywhere I look (like this article) it feels like the universe is giving me a sign, but we don’t have family or a natural support system nearby and doing it all alone seems daunting.
I second this! Going through a very similar decision and not having a natural support system is such a big part of the calculus
I third this hehe — contemplating a third, but yeeesh double daycare tuition has been humbling.
I have three and don’t have family nearby. What made it possible for my husband and me was VERY wonderful and flexible bosses. If your work will never fault you for having to leave in the middle of the day for the latest kid related thing, and let you make work up on your own weird hours, then you can do this. Also lean into all the community support – carpools for sure, but also neighbors can pitch it during emergencies and babysitters become like family and even sports team coaches will just give my kids a ride. That has been the surprisingly nice part about having no family nearby – it has forced us to get to know the other people in our community more so we can help each other out. But if your work schedules are rigid and/or your bosses are hostile to any unexpected family stuff taking you away from work, I would really hesitate to go for more kids.
OMG yes please!
I just have to share this little anecdote. I have had four children, the second of whom died from cancer when she was less than a year old. A year or two ago, when my third kid was 5, she said “did you always want to have three kids?” Me: Yes, but I never thought I’d have four. Her (after a moment of thought): Well, you ended up with three, you just did it the hard way! TRUE For me, going from 0 to 1 was the hardest transition, everything in your life changes. But 2 to 3 is a close second in terms of difficulty. Like Janelle shares, time for oneself is just severely limited. My youngest is now 4.5 years old and in the same school as his older siblings, so I feel I have clawed back more of a semblance of balance, but it’s a lot. A big mix of gratitude and overwhelm, feeling this is right and feeling it is impossible. Maternal ambivalence is an idea I think about a lot. Congrats on your beautiful family!!
The things that surprised me the most about having a third: 1) How much longer it takes to get out of the house or to do anything, honestly. And how often they need to stop to pee (but never at the same time). 2) How much more expensive life with three children is than life with two. This didn’t really hit until later. The third infant is actually pretty inexpensive, we needed almost no new baby gear or clothing although we did struggle to fit three car seats side by side in our existing car. But as someone else mentioned, travel becomes significantly more expensive. Airfare, hotel rooms, Ubers, all of it. Any kind of family outing with entrance fees. It all adds up quickly. 3) Statistically speaking — even if your children are generally absolute angels — you are significantly more likely to be dealing with someone who is grumpy, hangry, sick, etc. when you have three kids rather than two. There is just not as much chance that everyone is going to be at their best at any one time. Having said all of that, my third child is an absolute joy. She truly sparkles. She is funny and loving and incredibly close to both of her siblings. I don’t regret three in the slightest, but I do think it’s important to prepare yourself for a certain level of chaos. Our house is loud and busy and I love it. But as an introvert who cherishes calm I definitely had to adjust my expectations and learn to carve out quiet time when and where I can.
Welcome back Janelle! Thank you for sharing your insights. As a Mom of 4 I really appreciate your wisdom and you sharing the joy you find in being a mom. Motherhood is the best!
JANNELLE! THIS BOOK (Margo’s Got Money Troubles)! I read the whole preview on Bookshop and am counting down the minutes until I can pick it up from the library tomorrow. It’s been a long time since I’ve read something that felt so unique and well-written.
IT’S SO GOOD. I was really impressed by how well the author captured the hard, banal and exciting moments of being a mom, and also loved the professional wrestling storyline. It’s also in the process of becoming a show on Apple TV!
I read Margo’s got money troubles when I was freshly postpartum with my first baby in early 2025 – it brought me a lot of giggles in the dark of winter with a newborn and was definitely a light in that tough time – love it so much!
Welcome back Janelle :) You’re radiant I would love to read more of your funny book recommendations. Reading is my go to relaxation strategy and sometimes I need a palate cleanser after some of the heavier novels I read. But also, who doesn’t want to laugh more?
What beautiful family photos. Congratulations and welcome back.
Welcome back, Jannelle!! We missed you!!
Love this post, Janelle’s family is so beautiful. I’d love to see a post about having only one child (more and more common) and what it’s like to feel the conflicting feelings of being sure in your decision, and guilt at not giving your child a sibling. My kid is 13 and I still struggle with this sometimes!! She’s old enough that I have explained to her several times the reasons why we didn’t have more than one kid, but she still says she wishes she had a sibling. And I still feel guilty even though it was the right decision for my husband and I. I’m also close to my sister and I know she’ll never have that. I searched the site and found a post from 2018 about only kids, maybe time for a new one :)
Seconding this! I enjoy the posts about siblings, but I also have an only and would love to see more reflections of that experience (from the parent’s perspective as well as the child’s).
Hi! Here to say that even if you give your child a sibling, there’s no guarantee they will be close, even in adulthood. My sister and I are not very connected because we are vastly different people. While it might seem nice to give children siblings, the grass is not always greener.
I third this! My only is almost 3 and we are 1000% done. I often struggle with feeling ‘less than’ other moms because I only have one child and man, does that still feel challenging! The guilt around her not having a sibling is usually strongest after watching episodes of Bluey :’) Janelle, I am so thrilled for you, and your comment about focussing on what brings you energy during your 30 mins of you-time really resonated, I am going to try to reframe my approach to my brief me-moments with this in mind.
third-ing this! I have an only and am happy with my decision, but do have bouts of missing those baby moments!
We are working on one right now Isabelle, so please stay tuned! xxx
Excited to read this topic rings as a Mom of an only (who loves being an only) I welcome the newest insights. My moms of only club in 1990 was a tremendous support and so fun.
Hi Isabelle! I have an only as of now (she’s 3) and I am also an only child. Just wanted to jump in and say I truly never feel like I missed out on the experience of having a sibling growing up! I had close neighborhood friends and cousins nearby growing up, and I also LOVED my alone time (and still do!). I also married into a family of four kids so now I get three incredible SILs who 100% feel like my sisters! (And my husband is so quick to remind me that a sibling is not a guarantee of a best friend, lol).
I am so excited that a post on only children is in the works! It’s something that’s been on my mind a lot recently as I am contemplating becoming a single mother by choice. Between my age and finances, I think if I go down that route it will be a one-and-done situation. I am an only child myself and I think there are both pros & cons of being an only child. My relationship with my parents is unique and the experiences and exposure I got as a child were also quite unique. It’s a lot easer to live a big life when there’s only one child in the mix. But there’s also sadness; I am envious of my cousin’s relationships with their siblings and as my divorced parents get older I know that responsibility will fall 100% my shoulders. I was briefly engaged to a man who had two siblings and parents that were still married. While ending that relationship was 100% the right thing to do, it would be a lot easier to have an only child if I knew my child would be joining a big family of uncles, aunts, and cousins. Single parent by choice, parent of an only child, hits a little different when they’d be a third generation only child.
So happy to hear that Janelle, and so happy my comment resonated! I actually went back to that 2018 post today and read some of the many comments which was helpful. I fully recognize that a sibling is not a guarantee of a friend — my husband has two siblings and they fought through their childhood and aren’t particularly close today. Most of the time I’m OK with it, and very grateful my kid has cousins she is close to. But we also live in the country and she has no neighbourhood friends or anywhere she can walk to by herself — so social time can be challenging when she’s the only kid around for miles!
I am not an only child and have two kids on my own. I have no expectation of my children being best friends later in life, as they are very different people. So are my brother and I. I can’t stand my brother (unfortunate truth) and he can’t stand me, we are very different and especially have very different values, even though we grew up in the same family. I hope my kids will have a better relationship but you can’t force it. My mom is still trying to force it, which makes every phone call between us end with “have you reached out to your brother” – No, I have not and neither has he, but he does not get the question. We were not connected when we grew up, just did not happen. Thus, as someone else said, the grass is not always greener. I probably would have been better off as an only child, I was always in the shadow of my extroverted, boisterous and charming younger brother, which made me retreat even more into my shell. Sounds all very bitter but is really only the honest assessment I have come to as a middle-aged adult and it makes me feel better to type it out.
I think a little over a year ago – I asked in the comment section of a post about parenting how moms of only kids felt about having an only. My husband and I were trying for number 2 and I was accepting the possibility of having just one child. We randomly did get pregnant and have a second kid – but at least 10 or maybe 15 very kind women responded to my comment and mentioned all the lovely benefits of a small family. From more time for your spouse/friends/work, etc., to more time and money to enjoy and spoil the kid you have and also one of the most frequently mentioned responses – there is no guarantee that adult children/siblings will get along and/or live near each other. My mom hasn’t been close to her siblings in years, and I have two friends who live in different states than their siblings which limits time spent together! A few of the women who responded also noted they were only kids and liked it so much they opted to have just one! Hope this encourages you!
Yes please! I am also the parent of an ‘only’, though not by choice. It’s eighteen years now, and though I love our family, I still have so much guilt and (though I’d only admit it to myself) a bit of grief about what the future might hold. Would love to read something on this.
Ooh, just to clarify. A parent definitely by choice! But I would so deeply have loved to have had two, three or four children! I definitely didn’t anticipate my child being an only. My heart aches when I see siblings together.
My only lives in fear that she will have a sibling one day. We have no plans for another and the only thing that feels missing is … i would love to have an infant and feel confident instead of terrified!
Adding my voice to the “one child” discussion. I always imagined having three, but miscarriage and my age mean we’ve had one—our almost four-year-old. My spouse feels completely content with that, which has only deepened my grief, frustration, and disappointment. I can’t fully explain why I want more. It’s not about giving our son a sibling or expecting anything in return later—it’s just that when I picture our life 5, 10, 15 years from now, I see a loud, full, lively home. We’re visiting my spouse’s sibling, who has three kids, and every time I’m with their family, my heart aches a little.
For Alex : I too dream of a full and lively house later on. Expecting my second right now and du to my age not sure there will be much more (so grateful already !), but to me a house can be full with all sorts of relatives et “family of heart”. If I cannot have many children “of my own”, I know that plenty of children (and adults) ariund us need community and hospitality, to me this is how you fill your house joyfully. Hope it encourages you a bit !
My 3rd baby was the sweetest cuddle bug who never slept. Hes 9 now thank God and sleeps through the night. But I feel like I treasured babyhood with him. He nursed for 18 months and we had such a special bond. Gah I miss it sometimes**. Now that I have a house full of middle schoolers and upper elementary. Enjoy. And also yes to asking for help AND helping other women. I feel like such a rockstar when I can assist in a helpful way because I just KNOW, I’ve been there. Congratulations and thanks for sharing your season
I had my three kids all within 3.5 years, so they are pretty close in age. When my third arrived, I immediately felt the pressure go off my first two to be each other’s opposites. For me, it was so easy with two kids, both boys, just 19 months apart, to fall into “he’s the serious one, he’s the fun one” or “he’s the smart one, he’s the wild one”. When our daughter rounded out our trio, it was much easier to let them all be the nuanced individuals they actually are, instead of seeing them as this or that.
Same! While pregnant with my third I struggled to imagine how he would be different from his brothers because I felt like the first two were so opposite we had the full range of personalities already haha. Would the third just be a mix of the two? Well turns out he sorta is, but he’s also his own thing entirely haha. The third baby is 2yo now and makes me realize how similar all three actually are, but also how unique. <3
I had my third baby in August (with a 4 year old and 2 year old) and could not relate more to this post! I’ve been spending my fleeting windows of free time writing poetry and find it so healing to see our experiences reflected in others, so thank you for sharing 🩷
Welcome back Jannelle! You are a ray of sunshine and we missed you! So lovely to hear how you are enjoying the time with your gorgeous family.
I’m in awe of the beauty pouring out of your family. Well done mama!
Welcome back!! And also the truth of “you can always count on women to get shit done.” Just YES <3
Welcome back Janelle, we missed you! Thanks for the sweet update and photos. You have a gorgeous family :)
Oh no, this post makes me want a fourth! Lol. But yep, those observations pretty much sum it up. Congratulations!
Hahahahaha. For the first two weeks after I have a baby, my hormones are all over the place and I ALWAYS want *another* baby. But now that I’m I’m confident that three is the best fit for us :)
What a beautiful family!! The urge to help other moms as a way to pay it forward – YES. I felt/feel that so strongly! And also the ability to say what I need and accept help rose significantly with each child (we have 3). I feel like I’m a much better mom to my 3rd – more chill, patient and focused on the stuff that matters. I have open conversations with the older two about how I was a different kind of mom to them and I’m still growing as a person. I feel good about this open communication – I think they do too.
Wow, new mom goal identified here, thank you. This is so true, and how revelatory to just… be honest about this?? I have a 2.75yo toddler and a 6mo old baby. My husband is sleep training our youngest, our toddler comes home with hangry tired tempests and dinner/bath/teeth/potty/bedtime takes ONE MILLION YEARS. I also run my own business in nonprofit fundraising so things are really real at work, and my only remaining grandparent had a big fall today and her outlook to recovery is complicated. Needless to say, I had my head in my hands at the dinner table while my toddler NIBBLES at her dinner to stall for bedtime. She asks, “Mommy, why is your head down?” And I was just… honest. I said, “Well, I’m very worried about things at work, and about my Nana being healthy today.” And she said, “I’m sorry. I will get up in the morning and help you work to make it aaaaall better.” SOB. These tiny humans hold a boundless capacity for empathy. How incredible is it to have these sweet wise moments with them??
I love how you’ve recognized that you parented each child differently and talk to your kids about that. That’s something that has been weighing on my mind lately. I’m going to try your approach. xoxo
Hi Jannelle! We missed you, but so glad (and grateful to Jo) that you got to have that time with this GORGEOUS new baby! You guys are all stunning! I love all the comments and conversations this has brought up, it is so interesting and thoughtful. My girl is an only, (late in life Mom here, we just couldn’t have done it again). She goes thru stages of wishing for siblings, BUT, she has a gaggle of friends, they all fit in my car, I am a freelance jewelry designer, so I’m most often home, to throw after school snacks into the oven, give girls rides to events if their parents cannot, have girls over when there is no school and no one home at their house…it gives us a sense of a full, noisy, fun, (mostly), safe house. And then at the end of the day, we get her all to ourselves, and she gets us all to herself, (plus the 2 small furry girl doggies). I’m fascinated to read everyone’s different tale,and take on how many to have. At this point, I’m just glad there are still places in this country where we actually HAVE this choice. Let’s make sure we protect it.
I love how you are showing up for your community. Your home sounds warm and full of love. Lucky girls!
Kim, you sound like a great mum. Your girl and her friends are so lucky to have you!
they are gorgeous and you look beautiful! love this post.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby and your wonderful family! Welcome back💜
Welcome back, Janelle! Baby’s hair blowing in the wind on the beach = tooo much!! And keep getting those photos of #3, the often neglected baby when it comes photographic evidence that they were indeed there! Even better if mama / papa captured along with the youngest. xox
“you can always count on women to get shit done” hit me so hard in all the feels. I am not a mother of a bio child, but I do have a strong group of female friends who truly do GET SHIT DONE. No matter what. I don’t know how many times we have picked each other up over the years but it is always such a wonderful reminder of the power of women.
Welcome back, Jannelle and thank you for the wonderful post! For those that have three, how did you make the decision to have the third baby? When we first had our son, we thought we’d have one or two. The decision to have a second baby felt natural. But now, we’re thinking about a third baby, which we had never considered before. I’m truly conflicted because have two little kids is already a lot but I also think it might be nice to have a larger family and to have more siblings that would get a chance to know each other in different ways. It’s also a matter that it would be longer for me to go back to work but that is so up in the air, that I’m not sure that feels like it should be a deciding factor. I also feel very ambivalent about working again, too. So anyways, how did you decide?
I was an only child, and I wanted my first born to have siblings. Three felt like the right mix. That way, if two were ever fighting, there could be a third to hang out with. I have a friend who is one of two siblings. Her sister had serious mental health conditions that were taxing on the family. This friend once said: I wish I had another sibling to help share the load or just to talk to. That really sealed the deal for me. My kids are now in high school, middle school, and elementary school, and they play together in different ways and different groupings. Yet they always look out for each other. (And, yes, they can be viciously mean to each other, which I was not expecting as an only child).
You are describing where we are at exactly. I’m so torn! My feelings depend mostly on how much sleep I got the night before. Good nights sleep? We got this! No sleep? Why would I make life harder? Haha.
I have two little kids and am expecting #3 so the jury is still out lol. For me, I was just so on the fence (in fact on one of Janelle’s posts before the baby was born I’m pretty sure I commented the same thing you just did!) There were just so many pros and cons either way. But I could not find peace in the decision to stick with two. I eventually thought I’d find more peace with having two if I was open to conceiving a third for a while, and we ended up getting pregnant. I’m not recommending this approach… but it’s what we did. Also, a lot of my friends who preferred having two kids were saying things like that two kids are perfect because in a hotel room, nobody has to sleep on the floor/a rollaway. And you all fit in a normal cab. And in a three bedroom house, they never have to share a room. But I dunno! For me, all those things were reasons in favor of having a third. My kids are very privileged, and I feel like chronic little inconveniences/the need to accommodate others being mundane would be good for them.
I’m one of two and I felt like we were compared a lot and that there was a lot of pressure on us. I wanted to have three kids to avoid that repeating itself. And I think that came out true. We have three kids, very close together in age, and I love that they are their own little gang and I hope they’ll be close throughout life. I’m very happy we have three. But I do always think: if you’re on the fence about a third, don’t do it! There is lots of research on parents of three being the most stressed and the least happy, and I can see how that can be true. Everything is sort of made for families of four, and we find that travel is especially expensive with a family of 5. Family hotel rooms, and cabins on trains and ferries etc are all made for 4, and it’s rare to find the cost go up by just 25% for that third child – it’s often much much more. My three kids are all super active and all three are in equestrian sports. Of course our resources – both time and money – are spread more thinly with three children than with two. And we live in Sweden where child care, health care, school, future university studies etc aren’t even a major factor financially. I do wish I had more time for each of them… Just to say – I believe you never regret a child, but I still think, if you’re not 100% sure that three is what you want, I would err on the side of not doing it.
Both my husband and I are from big families and really values the mix of siblings and personalities we had growing up. Our third child is such a gift- a light of joy and abundant love. And while it was hard to have three littles and meet their need, especially the first year, that time period is a blink of the eye in the grand scheme of things. I’ve now got a nine year old who likes to makes her own breakfast, six year old whose favourite task is to wash dishes (thank you Montessori!!), and a four year old who gets dressed all be herself and makes her own bed! Suddenly I’ve gone from needing to help everyone all the time to….everyone being able to help themselves and asking to help me! It’s wild and it happened so quickly. And now? I find them in the corner of the house playing an elaborate game, or cooking up “ways to be cheeky.” The delight they have in each other cannot be measured.
Yes to this, I am also in the process of thinking about if we want a 3rd. We currently have 3 year old and 10 month old sons. When we first planned to have kids my husband wanted 2 and I wanted 3 (likely since those were our own family structures in childhood) but once our first was born my husband was so in love it really opened him to wanting more and now we think we probably will have a 3rd (but want to wait until the littlest is closer to 2 years to start trying). But I do feel conflicted in the moments that feel so overwhelming and when I already feel attention split and not being patient enough, and I do value time for myself. But I also find myself scouring the comments on this and other posts looking for validation that having 3 will be fine since I think that is what my heart wants. I also feel worried that none of my friends want 3 and will it feel lonely to be the only one dealing with parenting than 2. Since I grew up in 3 I was used to it being a little more complicated with things like travel and taxis but it was never that much of an issue and I so love having 2 siblings! But the realities of finances and our world are very different than they were for my parents 35 years ago. Just mulling all these thoughts out loud.
We did a lot of thinking about 3 before we had a third — I always thought we’d have 2 but I just enjoyed the babyhood of my second so much since the new parent feeling had subsided, and I just felt like someone was missing from our family. And after lots of discussion we went for it. My kids have 7 years between oldest and youngest, and one of the things i’ve loved is seeing my oldest be so helpful and caring to the baby. It has absolutely added more chaos and logistical challenges to our lives, but when they are all playing together, or all curled up on the couch, it’s great.
Hi Rae! What has helped me to wrap my head around having more than two kids is to think of it as a long term investment. If you had asked if I wanted to care for a newborn on top of my 1 and 3 year olds it would have been a big heck no! that sounds like a nightmare! And it really was hard, but then it got easier. Now they’re a bit older (and there’s a fourth), and it feels manageable and wonderful and I’m so excited to know all of them for years and years. Long term investment in a future that you want!
I have three and I am so glad that I do, but my husband and I went back and forth about the decision for a while. In the end, we couldn’t decide it was definitely NO, and since we couldn’t stop thinking about it, even though we weren’t sure yes was the right choice, in the end we decided to try. My oldest was 4.5 when the third was born so we had three young kids in the house, and I had been nervous about that, but wow I was a lot more relaxed and experienced with the third than I had been as a new mom, and so I was able to enjoy my third’s baby phase the most out of the three. Also all three kids have such different personalities and all are great. The best part of having new kids in my opinion is getting to meet them. You never know what their personality or interests or quirks will be, and it’s so much fun to discover them. Final thought…one of my favorite memories is of the time right after my third was born and the doctor handed him to my husband to hold. My husband looked at our baby and then looked at me and said, “This whole time you’ve been pregnant, I’ve been worried that were taking on more than we could handle, but now that our baby is here, I’m just so happy that he’s here!” And I felt the exact same way. I’d been nervous, but as soon as I had my new baby, all I felt was HOOORAY.
Someone (probably in the CoJ comments honestly) said that you should imagine how many kids you want around your dinner table when they’re adults and use that as the metric of how many kids you want. Because babies be babying and raising young kids is chaos and all stages have their highs and lows, but imagining that dream dinner table led me to a third baby!
Yes to what Lindsay said. I always closed my eyes and tried to picture my dinner table 15 years into the future. At that imagined table were 3 teenagers all smelling different kinds of stinky with great senses of humor. Turns out I didn’t need to wait for teenagehood to check both boxes.
Welcome back, Jannelle!! Your children are beautiful, and you look radiant. You are a wonderful mom
Welcome back, Jannelle! You are always a breath of fresh air. So wonderful to have you back. So happy for you and your growing family!
Wait. Your youngest is only 4. I thought for sure she was double that. Welcome back!
When we had our third baby, someone told me “one is one, two is twenty, three is twenty one.” Our kids are close in age (three babies within 3.5 years), but we were pleasantly surprised that this was true for us! It was chaos, but felt like… what’s one more? :)
Lol, same! Like, three is crazy, yes, but two was only a tiny bit less crazy??
Every family is certainly different! With mine the math was 1 is 1, 2 is 4 and 3 is 20. Our third is an amazing grown human but she was so, so much work as a baby/toddler/child/teenager
Reading this in the midst of a long season, trying to get pregnant with my second at 36. I always wanted a big family (I’m one of four kids), but as time goes on, it looks more and more like that might not be the future for me. This post is so joyful, and I don’t mean to bring down the mood. I guess reading it just made me feel bittersweet!
I’m coming to grips with probably not being a mom at all, and I felt similarly. I should probably just skip the parenting posts but I love to hear what people have to say! I hope you’re able to take good care of yourself in this long season. It’s all so hard. But my friends who have one kid have incredible families that feel full and warm and happy, in case that’s helpful to hear.
What surprised me about having my second son was how completely different they were, right from birth! I could tell just holding my second newborn in the hospital that he was completely and utterly different from his older brother. As an only child, this continues to fascinate me (they’re now 11 and 13) and I’ve realized my job is to help support them in becoming their best selves after they’ve each come out as who they are.
This resonates with me going from 1 to 2. I thought my 2nd would be a second 1st and then meeting him and realizing I have an entirely different human being was wild. Different temperament and personality, looks, etc. I guess it could be just only having the 1 to experience and nothing to compare. True confessions, in the crazy blurry nicu days after baby 2, I did call him his brother’s name a few times 🤦♀️
@Amanda – You only mixed up their names in the beginning? I am constantly mixing up my three kids’ names, and frequently mix up my middle and our dog (in my defense, they do have very similar personalities). I remember my mum doing this as well.
i have two under three, and the thing that has surprised me most is just how early the relationship between my two daughters blossomed. no one can make the baby laugh harder than our toddler, and the way they both squeal with delight and smile with their entire bodies when they see each other absolutely melts me. of course, that’s not to say there aren’t plenty of hard moments, but these glimmers far outweigh the hard.
Thanks so much for this post. It’s exactly what I needed to read – my takeaway is, 3 is great, and 3 is also hard, and in general everyone just makes parenting work, no matter how many you have. I am praying so hard to be able to have a 3rd, but I am undergoing fertility treatments, and we are going to call it quits after one or two more cycles. It is extremely hard to think about giving up and stopping, but it is on the horizon. I cry thinking about it, and all I can see are families of 5 around me, but it is too expensive and burdensome to keep going, and my husband and I (and our kids) are getting older. It’s about time for us to move on and accept that we will be a family of 4.
Thinking of you E L xxx
I’m sorry, EL. We are coming to terms with one, because our first has a lot of extra needs. I am trying to shift my focus to soaking in every thing with my one & only, but my heart is hurting. I hope it works out for you xx
Jannelle, you look absolutely besotted and your three Es are adorable! I think what surprised me going from one to two was how much the baby loved watching his brother play around him and how much the 2 yo loved trying to impress the baby! I remember thinking wow, we gave so much attention to our first baby but he never had this! So looking forward to reading your words again!
Jannelle – you are lovley and I wish a had freckles! My children are older – the youngest will be 29 this summer – and I love seeing and hearing how they’re so similar. 2 boys have the same laugh and physicality. When the younger runs on a soccer field he looks just like his brother. My oldest son looks just like my dad. My oldest girl looks so much like my side of the family and when her daughter was born, she looked just like me. My youngest girl looks like her dad’s side in a way none of the others do. I love seeing our family reflected back to us in so many ways.
A lot of cosmetic tattoo artists will tattoo freckles now! I’ve had it done once or twice a year for the past three years (they fade) and get compliments constantly!
Jannelle, your babies are so precious! Oh that little baby squish, toddlers are so fun and funny but I love this little flashback to that tiny baby smoosh! And welcome back!!
When I had my third baby, my older two kids were at that age (which lasted most of their lives) where they annoyed each other SO much. The one thing they could agree on was that they loved the baby. My third changed the dynamics of the whole household cuz “guys look at the BABY.” Also echoing everyone else to say- you look absolutely gorgeous and your kids are so precious!!
My third pregnancy was unexpectedly twins, making me a young mom of four under four. What surprised me was how much easier it got with the third (and fourth!) baby. Many things were harder of course…four bodies to put in diapers at bedtime, four babies crying at once occasionally, four car seats to buckle, more money going out and much less time to have a thought of my own. BUT, the confidence that was simply not there the first time around made life so much more enjoyable. I finally knew what kind of a mom I wanted to be and I knew how to actually BE her.
I like this.
Similarly my fourth pregnancy was twins! And I have found with each child brought into the house, the more go with the flow you are forced to become and easier it is. You just care less about the things that really don’t matter. 0 to 1 kid was way harder than 3 to 5!
I love the discussion of similarities between kids! My son is an only and I LOVE seeing him make the same expressions I’ve seen on his cousin who is 4 years older.
Oh Janelle, you are rockin’it! Positively glowing! 😊 Your family is adorable and just look at those big, beautiful smiles! 🌼 Keep doing what you’re doing…it’s working!
Congrats! You are so lucky to have a strong community. Everyone I know with three or more kids has family nearby, a stay-at-home (at least part time) parent, and/or a nanny. It is so challenging to manage a modern middle-class household otherwise. I would also say … for anyone on the fence about having a third, consider your level of comfort with chaos. After we had our third, life got HARD. It wasn’t just the additional logistical and financial burdens, but the never-ending cognitive and emotional load; it is nearly impossible to have all three kids in a good place at the same time! My husband and I spent ten years stretched too thin and, though our youngest is a delight, we feel strongly we wouldn’t recommend having a third child to people who want to put energy into their marriages, friendships, and other pursuits. I asked many friends who had three before I did and they all told me to go for it. When life got so hard after, I circled back and asked why they hadn’t shared it would be so hard. Several friends said almost the same thing — they didn’t want to admit regret because they loved their third kid. I wish one of them had been honest with me and so I share this with you in that spirit!
I am a parent to one child, not by choice (as in, I deeply wish we could have another!) and this is helping me appreciate our situation. We can devote a lot of time to our child, to our jobs, to art and hobbies, to travel, etc. Thank you for helping out a parent of only one kiddo :)
Honestly, I didn’t want even one child without family close by. I know people do it all the time. And there’s about a thousand other reasons I decided not to have children, but one of the top reasons was lack of a close support system. I’m a GREAT aunt though! I’ve taken every one of the nieces and even the nephew to the restroom while out and about. I’d do anything for those kids. You have a beautiful family Jannelle, congratulations!!
Honestly though, everyone is different. My third was a lovely addition and one of the most peaceful transitions we had. Absolutely understand, because everyone is in different place with different struggles, but gently this does not hold true for everyone. I would define myself as someone who “puts energy into my marriage, friendships, and other pursuits” and three children didn’t derail that anymore than the two kids did. This is very much a “your milage will vary” situation.
My husband and I agonized over the decision of whether to have a third and this is what we kept coming back to. Our kids are older (9 and 6) and life feels relatively manageable- we’re done with pack n plays, we can afford to travel and send them to camps, there’s always a parent per kid for any situation, we’re not outnumbered haha. Obviously if we had a third we’d never regret it and would wonder how we ever lived without that person, but I guess what I’m trying to say is, thank you. We came to this decision only recently, and I still feel a bit sad about it, but settled, so thank you for saying this. <3
This is the first time I’ve felt compelled to comment despite years and years of lurking – to applaud you for the honesty, the courage it must have taken to voice your experience. That someone in the world experienced adding a third child as hard, and perhaps not the choice they may have made. What I understood (or perhaps needed to hear) is that you love and don’t regret that third child… and there is some regret to how it affected you and your partner in other realms. I have been deeply struggling the past few months with my desire to have a larger family, a third child – and the chronic injuries that cage me. Society tends to perpetuate the idea that you’ll never regret the child you have, and to go for it, which I agree with… but voices of truth that counter those are far and few between. My battered soul raises a toast to your truth.
Hello! I grew up in a family of 4 children with no family nearby (as in, grandmother was 2,000 miles away; I saw her twice in my childhood). I think what kept us all sane/grounded was being part of our house of worship, which gave us a community. I’m not super religious now, but it was such an important social connection and source of routine for us. That being said, our house was always a mess and I will always respect my mom for not taking on blame/shame for that. Sending so much love and support to the parents out there.
Thank you so profoundly much for this comment. I have two and am grappling with that being it. I love my life and my kids (4 and 7)! And I am really cherishing having time for me, too – gardening, involvement in the school board, time to go for runs and meet up with friends. I always hear “oh you’ll make it fit” but I think the truth is that I would lose a lot of this hard-won freedom for me, too. Thank you for voicing what I so rarely hear but have craved hearing nonetheless.
There’s actually clear research about parents of three children being the most stressed and the least happy of any other family size. We have three kids and I love it and would even have been open to a fourth if my husband had had any kind of wish for it. But when I get asked whether to go for a third, I always say if you’re on the fence – don’t do it. If you’re sure you want three kids, then absolutely, highly recommend etc. But if you’re not sure, don’t do it. Besides being super fun, it’s also really hard and a big strain on resources (both time and money).
I really appreciate this perspective, thank you for sharing it! I can’t tell you how many dozens of hours I have spent thinking about whether or not to have a third, scouring old Reddit threads on the topic, chatting with my husband, etc. It’s taken up so much of my brain space since our second was born 2.5 years ago, and I’m still so on the fence. I feel an emotional pull toward three, but I don’t feel comfortable making my decision based on emotions—I feel the need to be super practical and realistic right now. What helps me is to know that I’ll feel some type of grief either way, in different forms. It’s just about picking which grief I want to bear. It’s hard realizing you might not ever “feel” done, but that you need to choose to be done.
don’t think we didn’t clock that SIX MONTH MATERNITY LEAVE (hopefully paid, but even if not…). GO JO and the COJ team for making that a reality in the US! this is what leading by example looks like. And welcome back, Janelle!
yes we’re really grateful to be in a place as a small business that we’re able to offer six paid months! I wasn’t able to take more than a few weeks of maternity leave because I was working for myself and our family relied on my income, and that time was so difficult — i really struggled. I’m so happy we are able to give the mothers on our team the time they deserve to welcome a new baby, heal and rest their bodies, and get organized and settled into new family rhythms. xoxo
Standing ovation. No notes. Thank you for practicing what you preach Jo, and esp thank you for giving to others what you needed but didn’t get. To me, this is the truest measure of a good person. And thank you for showing that a better society is possible in this dark time. We have to keep imagining what is possible.
Oh! I meant to add….. at any future time that any ad or paid partnership rubs me the wrong way, I’m going to reframe that “nope, stfu, that’s $$$ for Janelle ‘s maternity leave. ” feel free to remind me!!!!
I am SO grateful to work for a thoughtful and generous boss and company that offers six months of paid mat leave. This third time around, it took me more time to feel like myself postpartum, so I’m forever grateful to have the time I needed to heal and settle into this big life change. x
Sasha, Your two comments brought tears to my eyes (maybe because i’m pregnant), but the idea of giving what you needed but didn’t get and also looking at paid sponsporships (i’ve never had a prob with these) in this light just brought it home. Thoughtful. Shout out to COJ
Yes!!! Not surprising but so encouraging to see you offering this, Joanna
HELL YES!! Bravo Joanna and COJ for supporting your employees and making this country a better, more supportive place for working parents!!
Wow, great job Joanna! I’m so glad to hear that you offer such a rare benefit. So great of you and your company to do this.
I do not mean to steal Jo’s thunder, but this is another instance where Americans should expect better of their government. In Canada, parental leave is a year long at and paid at 55% of your weekly salary up to $729 CAD/wk, or 18 months and paid at 33% of your weekly salary up to $437/wk. The time can be divided among parents; I know several families where the birthing parent took the first year and the other parent took a subsequent 6 months. I don’t mean to be smug about Canada. The racism up here is quietly vicious. The social services are wildly inadequate. I am not proud of this country. And it is also true that America is the only high-income country without mandatory paid parental leave.
I agree with you so much, Nicole! and I think most Americans agree and do fight for this — it’s on the long list! i 1000000% i would prefer if the government paid for mat leave, instead of parents or small business owners.
Clocked it! Bravo bravo bravo bravo! This is why all of us are so proud to love cupofjo so!!!!
Bravo!
Nicole, heartily agree, 100%. Not only does Canada manage it, despite loads of their own problems, but so does EVERYONE else, some better than Canada even (bigger benefits). I expect it. I expect so much from the government that I pay enormous taxes to. Unfortunately, esp with this administration our tax money is being pocketed by the world’s greatest grifters and finding unjust wars that are just another form of grift. It’s outrageous. We need democratic socialism now. And massive redistribution of wealth. We can afford this.
Bravo to Jo for walking the walk!! I am so proud to be a COJ reader! Welcome back, Jannelle, we all love you!
How all 3 are so DIFFERENT! The 3rd will be home alone with you when siblings move out. You become really close.
Wow I would love to hear more about how the 3rd essentially becomes an “only child” once the older two move out. As someone who is really hoping to have a third (but the window is narrowing by the day, and the age gap is widening with every day as well), I find myself thinking about what it would be like to have a potential 3rd kid at home without siblings for the entirety of their time in high school! Nobody seems to talk about this much at all! One of my exes was the youngest of 4, and his next-eldest brother went off to college just before he started high school. He was gutted, and he said he cried so hard when he essentially became an only child. To soothe my sadness about potentially not being able to have a 3rd, I think about how at least I will be sparing a potential child this outcome.
Yes! I’m the middle of three siblings and there’s a six year age gap between my younger brother and I, so he was home alone with my parents for years. Him and my mother are very close and he loved the only-child lifestyle haha.
I’m the oldest. The middle sister is two years younger than me and the little sister is 6 years younger than me. My parents bought my little sister a dog so she “wouldn’t be alone” when the middle went away to college. I honestly didn’t really know my little sister that well because I was always off doing my own thing. We’re close now, as adults, but the six year age gap as kids hindered our relationship a bit. Different life stages and all.
@Jane – my sister and I also have a six year age gap (I am the oldest) and we don’t have a close relationship. We were never in the same place as kids (ex. when I was in high school, she was so much younger). As adults, we are vastly different and don’t get along. Just saying – the grass is not always greener with multiple siblings. You don’t always become close and having multiple kids is not a solution for “I want my kids to have best friends for life!”
This was my sister! My brother and I were both out of the house (in college or already graduated) when she turned 14. Love my parents but they definitely grew very lax with just 1 teen in the house… She turned out great but yeah a totally different upbringing than ours.
@elle I always say the 3rd is a keeper. 4 year gap to his next sibling. I was there when he got home. He was there when I got home. We talked. There were no siblings to tire me out, distract me or take attention. I learned so many lessons from his elder siblings from which he benefited. I think he got the not exhausted not still learning mom so he therefore is mellow, attentive and less baggage. He is now 26. Moved out a year ago after buying his own house. My husband misses having him there to lift heavy things :). I miss our talks. I HIGHLY recommend the 3rd kid.
My youngest will be in 8th grade when her closest age sister goes to college. That makes me sad! But, we have local cousins her age and I don’t think it would ever be a reason to not to have had her. I am super close as an adult with my 8 years younger brother
6 month maternity leave, baby! YES GIRL. Glad you had the option to take that time. Welcome back! Everyone in your pics looks so happy <3
Welcome back! Congrats on #3! That first photo needs a caption contest for whatever Emiliano is saying/thinking to his big sister. His expression, lol – what a delight!
A former boss and dear friend told me that the third was “everyone’s baby.” I love this sentiment so much and found it made it much easier to accept help.
Oh I love that so much, it’s so true!
Yep, my sis is almost 40 and definitely still the baby. I tell my nephew all the time, ‘do you know that mama is my baby sister?’ and he just laughs. But I used to dress her up and carry her around on my hips so you better believe that girl is still my baby!
EVELYNN’S hair!!! wow-o-wow. My 10-month old baldie is jealous.
What a lovely little crew you have! And welcome back! You look so ‘at ease’ in this role. Mom of three here, ages 20, 23, and 26…and what fun it has been. Or goal was to raise interesting people. And now I have three really fun and awesome friends.
Welcome back, Jannelle! I had my very first ultrasound today – I’m nearing the end of the first trimester. It was incredible to watch the baby move. My husband and I have waited a long time for this :)
Oooh!!! Jane! Congrats and so exciting! Isn’t it wild what we all know about our fetuses that our mothers and grandmothers had NO IDEA about???
Congratulations Jane!
Amy, the generational differences are interesting, right? My mother-in-law was actually kind of annoyed (?) and weirded out by all the scans, testing, etc. She was like “oh we never had all that, it’s giving you too much to worry about”. I gladly had all the testing, scans, etc. during both pregnancies and am very grateful to have had healthy babies, but there is a small part of me that’s like, maybe people were less stressed when they didn’t have the constant updates, appointments, data, test results, etc.?
C L, YES! I am pregnant with twins and it’s my first pregnancy. I have been so worried about all of the things, and my mom was like “back in the day, they didn’t know they were having twins until they delivered.” But then I brought her to an ultrasound (the first one she had ever seen!) and she was awestruck. She said it was magical, with a sweet tear in her eye. The tech sent her home with pics of each baby that said “Hi Nonna!”
As a physician, I am in favor of less testing, fewer scans, etc. The extra testing benefits very few and comes at the expense of significant anxiety for most (plus significant financial costs for our society). But, we live in a CYA (cover your a**) country with significant legal repercussions, and so we will continue with ALLL the testing.
Welcome back, Jannelle!! So wonderful to see you and all your beautiful babies thriving! It must be a lot with all those cuties but y’all look like you’re rocking it xo
My mom always said: with your first, you need help, with your second, you can manage alone, and with your third, you’re able to help others.
Funny how that feels so different to me! For me: with my first, I was determined to figure it all out by myself. With my second, give me alllll the help all the time (with the baby and maybe especially with the older toddler!). With my third: never gonna happen, as experience with #2 was too hard. Hopefully when my two are older I can better help others <3
I like that. I had no choice but to manage without family help and my friends were a long way away. I would have liked more help with my first but was also determined to do it my own way, so perhaps that worked out for the best. And I found having my second easier because I knew what to expect and what my bandwidth was. I was happy to stop with two because three in this situation might have seemed a step too far. And I was ready for them to both be in school within a few years so I could pick up my life again. Each to our own, I think.
So glad you’re back! And what a wonderful post!! I relate so much to everything you said; my fourth is 9 months old and I kept nodding as I read haha. I love being mom to my kids (obviously) but what has dawned on me more with each new baby is how much I love mothering. I love mothering my own kids, those of my friends, and those in my communities. I love mothering my friends and other people around me. I love when other people see me and my needs and step in to mother me. Maybe this is just the lens through which I am viewing life right now, but it sure is beautiful! Yesterday I struggled through church (potty training poop accident, grumpy nap-skipping baby, general chaos and whispered threats, etc.) and walked out feeling like I had missed the spiritual rejuvenation I needed. After I buckled all the car seats an older woman I had never talked to came over and knocked on my car window to tell me “you’re just the cutest little mom I’ve ever seen!” I didn’t feel like it, and it was honestly a little awkward, but I haven’t stopped feeling grateful for her. She mothered me! And there was God. Whatever that looks like for everyone else, I want to be part of it.
I LOVE this sentiment. You might enjoy Eluzabeth Berget’s book releasing on May 5th: Love like a Mother: How the Sacred Work of Motherhood Reveals the Maternal Heart of God.
Ohhhh I love this. You just described my Sunday (6months in with my third). Thanks for the reminder of God as mother, gathering us under God’s wings as a hen her chicks. And Jill- will be on the lookout for that book!
What gorgeous children! You’re obviously doing a great job 3 is the magic ✨ number!! I’m a mum of 3 under 5. My youngest is now 9 and I feel I’m finally getting more time to myself and with my husband now. That’s because we have no family help at all. So my husband and I have just tag teamed work and kids for so long. And it’s been beautiful chaos. Three is beautiful chaos. I thought I was a good mum to two- they had cute outfits, I got photos printed out, I cooked organic food. I visited a friend who’d had a third kid and I thought how has she let her house get into such a state?! Then I had my third and I got it. It was very humbling. The third child was feral. She started weaning when I looked down and found her eating fries! She was also the hardest of my babies in terms of sleep, tantrums, crying. And that was humbling because my second child was so chill and easy. Thought it was cause of me! Nope. Turns out each child is their own person ready made. She’s now the easiest of them all! I found the jump from two to three hard. But I always wanted three. And I feel blessed beyond belief to have three healthy children. Congratulations Janelle and enjoy the magical, beautiful chaos!
I’m laughing at how you judged your friend’s house until you had 3! I just have two – and my kids are young. One of my closest friends had kids years before me and when I would go to her house, I would judge the mess! Her table had visible marker “marks” and playdough in crevices. The couches were always stained. Now that I have little ones – my table always has random marker “marks” and there is always playdough on the floor, and now it’s my couches that always look like they need to be cleaned!
Due with #3 at the end of April and I just asked my mom for a dozen hardboiled eggs every week while on maternity leave – hah!
I love this specificity! Truly helpful to you and attainable by your mom. My MIL recently left behind 6 deviled eggs after a trip and they were a lifesaver for some fast meals – just chopped onto some greens and I was set.
Moms are amazing postpartum. My mom filled my fridge with cut up fruit and vegetables and made me a snack and drink basket for breastfeeding. It’s so nice to take those things off your mental checklist.
Hi Jannelle- so lovely to see you back! I think the thing that surprised me most is seeing the relationship blossom between my kids, and all the wonderful memories that they share. The baby fits right in – she is a beautiful combination of you and your husband!
You have such a beautiful family! I love all the photos. Your baby is a darling. I had 3 kids under the age of 4 and it was crazy but wonderful. When I had my 5th and final baby, I was surprised by how easy it all was. Everything worked smoothly, we could handle it all easily, and the minor things didn’t bother us. Even though it was a house full of young children, it felt orderly and fun. I guess we found our stride!
So good to have you back! We have 4 kids and people frequently tell me they don’t know how we do it. I think as you said, feeling like you have to have it together goes away. I really pick my battles now. My daughter goes to preschool in a dress over a t shirt with a skirt over it relatively frequently. A dad told her that her shoes were on the wrong feet the other day and I was like she’s wearing shoes, who cares?
Jannelle! Everybody on every picture looks and feels so safe, cute, beautiful, simply good, at ease! It is good to see joyous lives. Also, when I grow up I want to be aunt Annette :) It is so very lovely to see you here again!
Omg thank you!! Every day I try to make sure that all my kids feel safe and loved and seen — I never want anyone to feel left out — so this comment really means so much to me!
“Every day I try to make sure that all my kids feel safe and loved and seen.” Wow. This is such a beautiful sentiment and is exactly how I want to show up as a mother as well. Thanks for sharing this language.
WELCOME BACK MAMA! We missed you! Your children are beautiful and you are just GLOWING with love.
Thank you so much!! It feels so good to be back and I’m so excited to catch up! :)