April 10, 2026
My Heart After Divorce
Katia Wish is an illustrator, author, and educator based in Boston. Katia’s comics and essays deal with the issues of overcoming the grief of divorce, single/co-parenting, figuring out how to move forward, and starting a new life. You can see more of her work at www.katiawish.com, Substack and Instagram, if you’d like.
P.S. A dreamy post-divorce apartment in Copenhagen and 8 readers share what they love about their looks.
Tags: comics
Comments
27 commentsLove it! 😍
This is so great. I’m happy for you but also appreciate so much your willingness to share this journey. I really love the moves you made to let love back in- like making literal space in your home and in your heart❤️🌸 it’s an inspiration. I have a looooooot of limiting beliefs that have kept love away from me for soooooo long. I’m hoping to change that. Seeing your story inspires me.
Hi Bonnie, Thank you for such a kind message! When I entered the dating world after being out of it for 22 years, I felt scared, excited, overwhelmed, and curious. I felt like a teenager, so unprepared and also so impulsive. I tried to learn the rules fast. But then, after six months of dating apps, I realized I can’t be a part of this noncommittal culture. So I took a break, reevaluated my priorities and became clear about what I was looking for in a relationship. I also went through a ridiculous number of self-improvement, motivational, mindset, relationship, and psychology podcasts and books. I was willing to try any of the concepts and strategies and see if they worked!
This is spot on! I took 3.5 years after getting separated and then divorced before allowing my friends to push me into the dating app world. It was scary and weird and who would love a 46 year old mom with a kid?! All the intrusive thoughts. But, I decided to just be me (thanks to those 3.5 years I had started to remember who that was) and lo and behold, my first Hinge date is now my forever person. I’m reminded of that saying about still having so much love to give (and receive) – I’m so happy I have a place for it to land.
Awww! This is so great to hear! The dating apps, after being out of the dating world, could feel completely overwhelming and disorienting. But I agree, if you took the time to really know who you are, you can handle that experience, and you know what you are looking for in a partner.
My ex-husband of 12 years got his employee pregnant when we had two babies at home. Needless to say my trust in men (and the human race, in general) was absolutely destroyed and I wanted NOTHING to do with dating ever again. I took three years to focus on my kids and rebuild my sense of self and I thought, “ok, maybe it would be nice to have sex again?”, so I signed up for a dating app. I ended up going on a date with a man 6 years younger than me because I thought it would be fun and good practice if nothing else. Well, it’s been about 6 months now and him and I are officially dating and he brings nothing but joy and love into my life. I completely understand wanting to write off dating after going through a divorce but there are romantic partners out there who are genuinely good and add a softness and lightness to your life which is *so* refreshing to experience after a long marriage with someone who doesn’t exactly value you. To be reminded of all of the good things I am and that I am so lovable, is so nice after having my heart stomped on. Id say, to anyone out there who doesn’t want to date because of their ex/divorce, just give it time and then after you have given it time, give someone a chance to bring out the romance in your life. You deserve it!
Hi Christine, Thank you for sharing your story and perspective! I am sorry that you had to go through such a dramatic experience. I am so glad that you were able to take the time to process whatever you needed to process – pain, betrayal, anger, grief, sadness, and other emotions. And show up in this new relationship light and curious!
I once had a friends mom tell me she never dated again or remarried because she has an amazing life and didn’t think there was someone out there worthy of sharing it. I have been separated for a year with two young kids and think about this a lot. My best life is being just me with my kids, doing our things. I just have to get there on my days I don’t have them. I was so scared when we first split that I wouldn’t find someone again or no one would want me until I considered my other option of being single.
Hi Lee, I feel that the goal could be to feel peaceful, fulfilled, loved, and inspired. And I think once you are there, you could be good whether you are single or not. There are benefits to being single – choosing how to spend your time and with whom, being involved in your own projects and hobbies. There are benefits of being in a relationship – a sense of companionship and sharing life with someone. When the kids are young, you might just take your time and regain your strength and sleep while they are with their dad. No rush, really! But, after a while, I think it’s good to explore the options, put yourself out there. It could be super scary, but super fun and interesting too! You will know when and if you are ready for that next step, I promise. Hugs.
This is great! It’s also poignant for folks being thoughtful after a death.
Thank you, Slu. It means a lot to me. Grief could be so overwhelming and paralyzing. I hope this work could be helpful to people in different situations.
I love this so much!
I just want to say how refreshing it is that you gave yourself the time and space to prepare for dating post divorce. I have friends who have jumped back in and it never seems to go well for a variety of reasons. You are still healing, you might not know what you want, and you REALLY have to think before you introduce kids to the equation. When my husband and I were dating, he was recently divorced and I did not meet his daughter (now my SD) for about 16 months. So many people rush back into the dating scene without realizing all the repercussions of not spending that time with yourself to figure some hard things out. I will be sharing this post with some friends who are currently in the struggle of figuring out if they are ready to date again and hopefully it makes them realize they are ready, or if they aren’t, considering what they need to be ready. <3
Hi Melanie, Thank you for sharing my work! I hope it gives someone just a bit of hope, smile, relief and “I am not alone in this” feeling. Regarding friends who go into relationships too soon. It’s a tough situation! Your friends probably remember and crave the companionship and closeness they had in their long-term relationships. The problem is that even if someone seems like the right person, it still takes months and months to develop that closeness and friendship and know that that person would have your back. Being on your own and healing slowly does seem to be a very good option, especially if there are kids involved.
Kaaaatiiiaaaaa!!! love this so much.
Some of these lines are straight up what Charlottetown says on Sex and the City—that show has really permeated!
This is beautiful x
Love this so much
Thank you for this – I related so much to this situation (single mom to 2 young kids) going through a divorce. My soon to be ex-husband has already moved on to someone new (while we we were still married- hence the divorce). I often feel like I will be alone for years, as who will want to be with someone with small kids/raise children who are not their own.
It’s so interesting…I have several girlfriends, all of whom had no children of their own, who married men with children – most of them very involved in their kid’s lives. And no one seems to think anything of it. Total double standard.
I am so sorry about your situation. It is really tough and can feel extremely unfair. The book that can be super helpful – How to Heal a Broken Heart: From Rock Bottom to Reinvention (via ugly crying on the bathroom floor) by Rosie Green. Rosie is so honest and powerful and so inspiring!
Hugs! Take it easy, take it slow. Enjoy the joy and sweetness and fun with your kids! Maybe even accept that you are going to be alone for a while. Once you are ready to date, there are going to be mistakes and disappointments, but also exciting things too! And it is all OK! You might be alone for years, or you might find someone soon. But if you are on the healing journey and learning to be self-reliant and joyful, it wouldn’t even matter if you are alone or not; you will feel peaceful.
Love this! My BFF is recovering from a broken heart and I can’t wait to share this with her!.
Hi Tara, Awww! That made my day. It’s a long journey, but the best advice I can give – one day at a time. Accepting that it is going to be tough and sad and confusing. For a while. But then one day you start to smile just a little bit, maybe even by mistake. Then, a little more joy, a little more laughter. Then a bit of hope and excitement of trying new things. Just noticing those little shifts can feel so healing. Heartbreak gives one an opportunity to make small and big changes, reexamine life from different angles. And then, after a few years, you feel stronger, more self-reliant, more optimistic. And truly, new you.
Hugs to your friend, Tara! Please share my message with her!
So lovely!
Love the honesty and vulnerability!