Have a Beautiful Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? We’re planning to enjoy the fall sunshine on our faces and see the Nathan Fielder documentary. Also, this sheep photo, above, reminds me of when my aunt got stuck in “traffic” in Cornwall, England — how cute is that? Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
This month, I was in a mini reading rut, but the page-turning A Guardian and a Thief pulled me right out.
Hahaha, now that’s a brilliant business card.
Oh my gosh, this new collection is splurgy but so beautiful — this sweater! And this stunning color.
The perils of time travel. Made me laugh. (New Yorker gift link)
Are we in a reading monoculture? Why is everyone reading the same book? “You’re more likely to read it, even if you think you’re going to dislike it, because you get to be part of the conversation.” (Elle)
Wouldn’t you love to walk around this Dutch woodland garden?
It’s sliced cheese on bread. And it’s rocking Copenhagen’s world. “The Danish capital is obsessed with this stripped-down snack, and the city’s top bakeries won’t stop until they’ve perfected it…it’s hard to mess up, but almost impossible to perfect.” (NYTimes gift link)
My friends swear by this skincare routine for bright, bouncy skin, and I’m excited to try it before winter.
Ariana Grande’s new haircut. Should we all get bobs?
If I get married again, I’d wear these rings. xoxo (Big Salad, free for all to read)
Plus, two reader comments:
Says Joanne on what are you proud of: “I’m very pleased to have earned a reputation among my kids’ friends as a great cook. My son’s 11-year-old friend recently came over for dinner, and while we were deciding what to eat, he said, ‘I’ll just have my usual’ (two ham-and-cheese sandwiches on sourdough with lots of homemade pickles).”
Says Keri on 10 readers share their epic Halloween costumes: “My witty son went as ‘claustrophobia’ one year (he had a box over his head with small slits for his eyes), saying, ‘I want to be something that people are ACTUALLY afraid of.’”
(Photo from Getty Images/Unsplash.)
Comments
74 commentsI am both for and against the monoculture. I get a little tired of it, but I also miss the days when everyone goes “Oh my god, did you watch Ted Lasso last night??” And the water-cooler discussion begins. There’s something in my personality that inherently makes me push away from the song/book/show “you HAVE to see” (and I think a lot of people are like this?). As a country music fan, “Choosing Texas” is fine, but the hype is baffling. I do not understand, but no shade. There is something magical about a shared experience though. There’s so few of them now!!
If you liked A Guardian and a Thief, try her first book, A Burning. I read it while the news of Mahmud Khalil being illegally detained for supporting a Free Palestine while his wife was giving birth to their first child was everywhere. The book was so eerily reminiscent of what was happening. Majumdar is a fantastic writer.
“It is literally just a bun with butter and a slice of cheese.” This article is so funny to me. This is basically what Europeans eat across Europe. My husband is german, and I lived there for 8 years. An open face bun with butter and a slice of cheese (and lunch meat if you prefer) is what people eat for breakfast and for dinner (the “hot” meal of the day being at lunch time). Yes, their bread is amazing. There are so many different kinds and they’re all fresh and made with skill. But how funny that it’s being made out to be a “thing”. It’s just normal life for them. My husband and I have always joked that the mark of a true german child is the fact that when they’re hungry and you see them walking around with a “snack”, it’s always some kind of bun, haha.
We’re going to need to discuss You Can See Everything. It’s WILD! When I left the movie theater last night (after talking to my friend in the parking lot for a few minutes) I noticed all the other pockets of people talking in the parking lot and I’m sure they were debriefing after the movie. There is so much to unpack! #dontlie
Dear Cup of Jo friends! My husband and I are taking a road trip from Louisville, KY, up to Maine next week. I can’t tell you how excited we are for the mental break. We’re stopping in Ithaca to break up the trip going up and on the way back. We are staying about 45 minutes outside of Bar Harbor but plan to drive around to visit Bar Harbor and Bangor. We’ve visited Portland before and loved it; we might stop there on the way back to Ithaca. We’re researching places to visit and definitely don’t mind a drive. We love bakeries, bookstores, cafes, quirky attractions, antiques … A bit of a challenge: My husband has celiac disease and we don’t eat meat (we’re tons of fun at dinner parties, lol) Would love any recommendations from you all!
Ithaca is home to the famous Moosewood Restaurant known for vegetarian cuisine. Walking around downtown is fun: alternative bookstores, a toy shop, on-demand souvenir t-shirts, etc.
Just got back from a beautiful week in Maine (near Northport) and my favorite place was The Owl & Turtle Bookshop in Camden! It is the cutest little store with a wonderful selection of books and a little cafe tucked inside that makes a lovely maple latte for fall. Enjoy your trip, it sounds fantastic!
You should go to Moosewood in Ithaca (if it’s not already on your list)! It’s a farm-to-table, almost all vegetarian restaurant that’s well known because of the eponymous cookbooks.
Moosewood Restaurant in Ithaca! And snag the Moosewood cookbook if you’re at all into cookbooks! I haven’t been back in over a decade, but downtown Ithaca is pretty small and has cute shops to walk around. Theres a weekend farmers market if you can sync up. I think it’s late in the season, but see if you can go apple picking. Cornell’s campus is very pretty and the art museum is fun! If you’re outdoorsy, there’s plenty of hiking. And if you have not yet experienced a Wegman’s, it will ruin you for other grocery stores.
Hi, Amanda! I live in Blue Hill, Maine and own an oyster bar here called The Stoop. We serve vegetarian + pescatarian foods and have GF options, so might be a good meal fit for your dietary needs! You should def visit the Big Chicken Barn antique store on rte 1, and the Old Creamery antique store in Ellsworth. Blue hill and Castine both have AMAZING small bookstores. There’s a tin natural history museum at the College of the Atlantic that is super cool, plus the carved bird museum in Southwest Harbor on MDI. And the cryptozoology museum just reopened in Bangor – I haven’t been yet, but hear it’s rad. Also in Bangor a newish Indian restaurant called Rasa and a spectacular little cocktail bar/small plates joint called Barlimans. I could go on and on, but I hope you have the best time in our little corner of the world ❤️
The Elle article about reading in a monoculture expresses exactly how I’ve been feeling about publishing and book culture for a long while. I don’t need another recommendation for Switzy, Shampoo Effect or Yesteryear. I’d love insider recommendations for mid list gems, exciting works in translation, or unputdownable backlist favorites.
Standard Deviation by Katherine Heiny!
Oh do I have a rec for you! “I Am Agatha” by Nancy Foley. Such a quietly beautifully-written novel that centers women and is an ode to the magic powers of the desert. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! (found “Switzy” sorta underwhelming).
Check out this Substack: https://substack.com/@theholdslist
YES! It’s so frustrating to get the same recommendations from everyone! Surely there are other great books out there. The marketing machine is so boring.
Ashley, for works in translation, check out Martha’s Monthly Substack. It’s great. For older works, there’s a great set of bloggers. Start with Stuck in a Book Blog, which will connect you to other blogs that cover older works (especially turn of the century women’s fiction). Also on Substack is The Joy of Old Books (Harriet). Hope some of these are useful!
One of my favorite ways to dig into this is to find awards for books in genres I like. I started doing this with the Mann Booker long list books – even when I didn’t really like the winner, there ended up being so many on there that were great! So now I regularly look for prizes that align with my interests. There’s a Shirley Jackson award for “dark fantastic” fiction, the Lambda Awards for LGBTQ+ fiction, Republic of Consciousness does awards for small presses in the UK…. It’s a great way to find more niche stuff that’s fantastic (or at least makes you think).
The coolest business card I saw was one my partner’s colleague created for when going out. It was right after the song Call Me Maybe hit, and the card had his name followed by the lyrics “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe?” Genius.
You Can See Everything is in incredible doc. Hope you love it.
Love Ariana’s bob! I’m tempted. This weekend is the anniversary of my mum’s death (is there a name for that! There should be) so we are getting together and remembering her bright warm loving ways and how she was our cheerleader. She loved people and people loved her. I dreamt about her last night and she was happy. She wanted us to all go for it in love and loving so we will.
in jewish tradition, this would be her ‘yahrzeit.’ we light a candle that burns for 24 hours, among other things. may her memory be a blessing
Wonderful, thank you for sharing this about your mom, and the dream.
GGP, what a beautiful tradition. Thanks for sharing. 💕
Can we have a whole post about hair loss problems?? The comments alone would be great to source!
Yes plz
Ditto. Entering perimenopause and, just, ugh.
I would really appreciate a post about this as well. My mom has been struggling with this problem severely (she’s entering menopause). It breaks my heart to see her so down about her hair loss.
Emma, my hair loss in perimenopause seemed to be directly the result of my low ferritin levels. After searching and trying different supplements the only one that worked for me was Proferrin. Thankfully my hair (and ferritin levels) is now back to what it used to be.
I’m in perimenopause and my hair loss is devastating. Not quite ready for a wig (yet) but wow is it a hit to. my self esteem. So much of culture’s reverence for beauty is tied to thick, luxurious hair :(
Would love
As someone in my mid-thirties and still regularly dealing with breakouts I’ve been intrigued by Sofia Pavitt skincare, but I’m also wary of influency-hyped brands. Has anyone tried and really liked it?
I have used the mandelic clearing serum on and off and really like it!
Joanna! You would look INCREDIBLE with a bob or a pixie!! Why is cutting your hair a no-go! I think your cheekbones would like to have their say in the matter!
We were in Copenhagen over this past summer and I typically don’t like bread much (I love basically every other carb! Bread is just so… dry. Why!?!), but I got obsessed with BMOs! Something about the savory combo of salty cheese, rich whipped butter, and the fresh bun. There’s a Danish couple who ranks and maps BMOs all over Denmark, including what neighborhood if it’s in Copenhagen, what cheese they use, the price, separate rankings for the bread, cheese, and butter… it hasn’t been updated since 2024, but I still found it very useful when we were there! https://www.bollemedost.dk/bollebasen Oh! Looks like they’re still updating their IG to this day: https://www.instagram.com/bolle.med.ost/ Also: requesting a spoiler-y discussion of You Can See Everything once enough time has passed for people to have seen it, because I saw it 5 days ago and haven’t stopped thinking about it since!
The BMO (bun with cheese) ‘trend’ makes me laugh so hard because when I was a student in Germany, this was the standard thing that you ate before mid-day and sometimes what you also ate in the evening (Abendsbrot, evening bread). It is hard to mess up, hard to perfect, and absolutely my favourite homemade breakfast of my 30s (rolling into my 40s).
You had me at “if I get married again”….. is anyone else reading between the lines of this post? I for one am hopeful and excited for what the future holds for you Joanna. Whatever it may be, I am grateful to be along for the ride in this corner of the internet. CoJ brings me so much joy.
Yes!!!
I don’t get the business card. Like it splits into 2 pieces like a couple that splits during a divorce? Is that it? When does the card get torn in half? Or are you not supposed to tear it in half but instead just appreciate that it could* be torn in half? Genuinely asking.
It’s a graphic design “smile in the mind.” You can do whatever you want with it, but definitely appreciate its wit and remember the attorney who possesses said wit.
I think it’s so that either of you can call him. The lawyer’s contact info is equally on both sides, so I think it’s that — if he’s representing one party or the other, you now both have his information for when you need it. In addition to maybe thematically underscoring that he provides a service where you can easily take one entity and split it easily and completely into two.
Since they’re a divorce lawyer, I believe it’s supposed to split in 2 so each party has the lawyer’s information and can use them for the divorce. The perforation makes it easy to split, maybe a nod to the lawyer making the divorce easy for both parties of the couple going through it.
Same!
I’m curious too. Maybe to represent having to divide up everything in a divorce? I thought about it overnight and I feel pretty good about my guess.
So many people genuinely questioning this joke in the comments! I wonder how many of them saw the Fielder doc….
I am celebrating some epically good news!! Sending big love and hugs out to everyone!! 💋
What’s the news????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!
A health scare that had me really worried resolved in the best possible way! I am healthy and strong!!
We won’t have a good while the French kids/ people on streets demanding for the very basic rights, the U.S + Israel STILL running a genocide and decimation of Iran, Lebanon, and Yemen. Sudan is being destroyed by the UAE. What goes around will come around for those who are busy being indifferent and inactive.
Hi Farhana, thank you for voicing this. These “crises “ (man made disasters more like) are on my mind daily. Then I come here to find refuge for a bit, because they need us at the Revolution well rested. But I do also miss the posts where stances are taken and action and hope are encouraged. It’s not either/or on COJ, but to me the pendulum lately has been on the inactive side as well. We need all of us to keep pushing!
We will write more! Always happy and energized to write those kinds of posts.
Hi Farhana: I want to push back against the idea that no one can/should have a good weekend while there is rioting in France, war in Ukraine, or trouble in the Middle East. First, if we have to wait for peace everywhere to have peace or joy in our own lives, that won’t happen. Second, what French students want or can get is way outside my locus of control. I can’t meaningfully do anything even if I truly understood the causes of the rioting. Ditto for what my or other countries do re: foreign or domestic policy. I can’t meaningfully affect these issues. Third, we know too much in a modern world and this can strip joy or action from where we actually have an impact. I can about Ukraine endlessly to the detriment of actually focusing on the things in my life where I am called to act. TLDR: we need to discern where to put our time and attention in this finite life. I am not shirking my duties to the world to fulfill my duties and seek joy while the wild is still imperfect and broken.
Yesssss!!! It feels like everyone is asleep. Yet the horrors continue unabated
Also, want to chime in about the midterms. I’m so hoping for some good news! I know we have readers from Ohio— thinking of all of you when I donated to Amy Acton’s campaign.
You not having a good time doesn’t make things better for those people, though. It just means you’re not having a good time (which is actually antithetical to getting people on your side).
Andrea, we absolutely can impact our government’s foreign and domestic policies by VOTING. Everyone should be educating themselves on the issues, making a plan to vote, and banking those votes. Our votes determine who represents us, the policies that impact us at home and abroad, and perhaps most importantly, funding for public programs, benefits and services. It is SO IMPORTANT TO VOTE. Joanna, would love to see some more content reminding everyone to do their civic duty and be an informed and early voter!
Life is not fair. More people need to accept this.
If we wait until all horrible things are gone before somebody is allowed to have a good weekend despite all of the horror nobody will ever get a break.and people without breaks cannot keep working to change the world so then we are all screwed. I work in human rights not in an office, not in a cushy place buf with actual people in horrible geopolitically fraught situations, burn out is rampant because people refuse to stop thinking about the horror and take a weekend. We do a disservice to everyone if we burn out. We must rest because it’s a marathon. There are clearly people who cannot take a weekend but the best hope we have to fix anything is well rested defenders who know that a good weekend is precious and let it remain so.
Thank you, Farhana, for raising your voice and reminding us what matters. Sometimes I feel helpless to do anything but I don’t want to become complacent.
Went to No Kings in Aberdeen WA last weekend with my husband and daughter. Such a vibrant positive time ! Most people driving by gave thumbs up and other positive responses. A few people gave us the finger, to which my daughter said she always then gives the peace sign in response. She said she thinks ” even though you’re an asshole I still want the country to work better for you too ” I can’t believe people are still supporting this man. Some people in the negative drive by cars were women. Really ?????? Like what is good for you or anyone with this administration ? But I’m confident and hopeful about the mid terms. One guy drove by in a tractor trailer truck and shouted ” no communism! ” to which one rally attendee shouted 10 dollar diesel ??? I mean, what is this truck driver getting from this admin ? 10 dollar diesel. I sure hope the midterms work out. I’m hoping all progressive candidates win.
Farhana, you are not alone. Hoping and praying for better days ahead.
“bright, bouncy skin”. Have to laugh. Our culture is so addicted to holding onto youthful looks. I’m not impervious to the grip youthfulness has on so many of us. But as perimenopausal woman in her 50s, this skin ain’t bouncin’!
I relate to this comment. I like keeping fit, clothes and getting my hair done but i don’t feel the need to have skin like a 30 year old and spending ridiculous amounts of money to keep trying. Christy Turlington is great role model in my mind. She looks fabulous AND her age. It’s time for the young ones to be bouncy.
May I recommend the book Dust to Dust by Jen Wilkin. It’s a look at how our culture despises aging. She writes as a Christian from a biblical perspective, buyt I think we could all learn from it regardless of our faith/religion.
This! I am very guilty of trying too many products and looking for improvement because it’s so, so hard to accept our aging faces and bodies in the mirror- but no matter how much we buy and apply, we ARE going to look older as we age (and our wallets will be a lot leaner for very little payoff).
same, girl. georgia okeefe goals
Yes! Ursula K LeGuin goals
I like this so much and I hope I can embrace this attitude in the long run. Almost 40 now – so still (fairly) young – but I can already feel the pressure from some of my friends: “you’ve got to start using this (expensive) product preventatively now! What do you mean: you don’t use any collagen/retinol yet? Uh I really hate how saggy my eyelids have become and I’m saving for an eyelid lift.” Because everyone dyes their hair and gets botox or gets ‘corrections’, they kind of change the norm of what 50 looks like. As someone who never enjoyed spending lots of time on my appearance, it would be so much nicer to just maintain realistic standards that accept that we cannot keep wrinkles at bay forever (so why bother fighting rather than embracing). It feels like an upside down race between women: aging as slowly as possible. Meanwhile, my husband has never encountered an article for “bright, bouncy skin” and is carelessly and happily growing bald and wrinkly.
We had a shepherd stop traffic for 400+ goats in Kefalonia last spring. Their bells were magical and the experience was a delight!
I would never want to own a goat and. I pity anyone having to deal with 400+ of them. But goats are delightful as you point out, Lori. They are fuzzy terrorists and quite proud of it.
🩷
“Claustrophobia” 😂 love it! me, too, buddy! 😉
I wanna say hi to Zendaya, too. And Tom. They’re the cutest.
New prints of Cornwall by our fave block print artist, Hazel McNab! https://www.hazelmcnab.com/collections/cornish-landscapes
These are really beautiful. Thank you for sharing