My Friend’s Incredible Tortilla Soup

Six years ago, my friend Liz had the brilliant idea to start a soup group to help us get through a long, dark winter.

Her pitch was simple: we’d switch off hosting soup dinners at home, once every month or two. That’s it!

We loved the evenings so much that we kept going through the spring, the summer, the fall, the following winter, and so on. I’ve been so grateful for this kind of repeated activity — it feels like a heartbeat, especially during hard times. (I imagine it might be similar to what church feels like, just in terms of seeing the same people in a ritualized way?) Last week, we headed to Linsey’s house, where she made a rich, delicious tortilla soup.
We always leave the night with book recommendations, career insights, parenting stories, and nail polish colors. (Remember Gisela’s shell pink?)

Since Linsey’s tortilla soup was so good, I asked her to share her non-recipe. Here goes:
Sauté carrots and onions, and season as you like your tacos (a taco seasoning mix is fine!). Add chopped chicken breast to brown. Then add bone broth, a couple cans of diced tomatoes (very worth it to find the fire-roasted kind!) and green chilies. Add lime juice to taste, plus a spoonful of sour cream. Serve with whatever toppings you fancy — avocado, cilantro, limes, cheddar cheese, black beans, corn, scallions, sour cream, tortilla chips, etc.
(Any other soup recipes you love? I’m always looking for good ones!)

Soup Group, est. 2019

Interloper Toby holding court one evening ;)
I adore it, and it’s so simple! Thoughts? Would you host a soup group? Do you host another kind of gathering, or book club, or running group? I’d love to hear… xoxoxo
P.S. Hosting an articles club, and four ways I’ve learned to deepen friendships.
Tags: tomatoes



Comments
122 commentsOne vote for Taco Soup, which appeared on Cup of Jo years ago. Both my children learned how to make it, and it is an easy recipe to keep on hand in a pinch. Among many other soup recipes my household loves (including Italian wedding soup, minestrone, caldo verde, borscht, kimchi stew, chinese hotpot)
My favourite soup is a chanterelle mushrooms + leeks + white beans delicious recipe that I’ve bookmarked in the My New Roots cookbook and that I often resort to when hosting! I’ve found a similar version of the same recipe at this link if anyone wants to try it, I highly recommend it :) https://www.mynewroots.org/2011/11/meatless-mondays-with-martha-stewart-vegan-chanterelle-cream-soup-2/
A friend made this Thai Chicken meatball soup for our bookclub and it was delicious!! https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020631-thai-inspired-chicken-meatball-soup?smid=url-share
I’ve tried posting this Aush recipe three times, hopefully it can be published? https://www.hungrypaprikas.com/authentic-afghan-aush/?utm_campaign=grocerslist&utm_medium=IG_comment&utm_source=grocerslist It is so filling and can easily be made vegetarian!
My logistics question is tied up with the conversation we’re having these days about divorce :) In the hypothesis where I get a divorce and live by myself every other week, I would LOVE to get something like this started. In the current reality where I do live full time with a man and two kids, how does this work? Joanna, or anyone doing something similar, what do you do with your family while you’re hosting your friends? It feels like the vibe of this is very much dependent on not having too many interlopers around, though Toby is as charming as interlopers get :)
We usually have the dad put the kids to bed (or watch a movie on a laptop etc) while we hang out in the kitchen/living room. Hope this helps! Xo
Thank you Joanna, it does! Not entirely workable with the way our apartment is set-up but food for thought!
Sounds like your husband, not marriage itself, is the problem if you can’t get a night off from your family once every one to two months. Good luck!
The easiest soup I love to make is so easy, I’m embarrassed to tell anyone how it’s made. But it’s so tasty and hearty, it’s too good to be shy about it. A plus, I make it in the Instant Pot so I can walk away while it does its thing! Easy Chicken Pozole- 1 jar of Herdez salsa verde (I use a large jar bc we love having left overs) 1 tray of chicken meat (your choice of white or dark, or combo. debone if you don’t want to deal with it) 1 can of pozole, lightly drained 1 smashed garlic -optional some sliced mushroom -optional, and totally not authentic but adds a bit more meaty texture and veggie nutrients *Optional toppers (we love it all but sometimes you just don’t have it and can’t run to the store): half a red onion, cilantro, lime, avocado, tortilla chips Cut up chicken into small bite size, brown lightly in sautee mode. Thow in everything else except the optional toppers. Add a little bit of water to just come up to the ingredients, close the lid and set pressure cooker mode to at least 30 minutes if you want al dente pozole texture, or 45 for softer. When done, carefully release, add toppers, enjoy! BUT WAIT, there’s more! “Extremely easy chicken pozole” is subbing the raw chicken with store bought roasted chicken that’s been pulled apart, and no need to sautee! Delish!
I’ve been making this lentil soup for a couple of years now. So easy and SO tasty: https://www.marthastewart.com/341748/sausage-lentil-and-kale-soup
My friend organizes a tacos with no kids night once a month for a big group of moms, and it’s whoever can make it, rsvp’ed by WhatsApp poll a day or two before. It’s a gift.
The fondest memories I have of childhood are being up on the counter in the kitchen while my mom cooked. Between stirring and chopping she’d hop up, too and we’d gab. I finally have my own kitchen peninsula and as a new mom I’m frothing at the idea that one day my little guy will be perched on the counter like Tobey.
I’m part of a Monday night ladies dinner group, we found that Monday was the least busy night of the week for most of us so we take turns either hosting, wear “soft pants only” aka our pjs or leggings, each bring a side/dessert or wine, and watch a tv show while we proceed to talk over it catch up on our weeks. It takes a stressful day (Monday) and gives me something to look forward to with some really hilarious, fun, kind and smart women. Our group chat is “Monday night ladies”
https://www.101cookbooks.com/curried-tomato-tortellini-soup/ I have been making this for nightshift as a nurse for years. never fails. perfect at 2am when you want something delicious, filling and healthy
This looks delicious and easy. Thanks :) Bless you for working night shifts ! I worked evenings my entire nursing career, and man were we always so glad to see you people come in ! Ha :) Glad to hear you have something nice to eat during your shift. <3
This looks fantastic! Thank you for sharing :)
My women’s soup night has been doing this WEEKLY for 12 years. I never miss it.
Pam wins.
I feel the same way about my local run club!!! I’m in my late twenties, have moved a lot over the past few years, and feel very lucky to have found community + ritual in the form of running + yapping with some awesome ladies every Sunday morning :)
Your soup recipe looks amazing! I can’t wait to make it for my family!
Would love a group like this : ). My go-to soup is my own mixed up recipe, based on korean rice cake soup: Water for one person, about 4 cups (I like a big bowl of soup) 1/2 Tbls-ish Better Than Boullion Not Chicken broth Dash of Chinese mushroom essence from Hmart (or add a couple sliced shitakes) 4 cloves smashed garlic 2 slices of ginger 15 grinds of pepper or about 1/2 tsp, (essential) 4 square inches kelp (not essential but adds more than you’d think – I never skip it) 1.5 cups sliced rice cakes, or whatever shape you like 1 or 2 stalks thick sliced white-stemmed bok choy, the tall slim type. (baby bok choy is ok, napa cabbage or any cabbage would also work) I used to add about a 1/4 of a small sliced onion but usually don’t bother. It does add deliciousness though and I should probably keep doing it. Cook everything together except the green tops of the choy, for about 20 mins, til the rice cakes soften. I like mine more soft, less chewy. Add the green choy tops at the end. In the bottom of your large ramen style bowl, pour a couple tablespoons of toasted sesame oil and if you have it, crumple up or scissor as much seasoned toasted seaweed as you like – I do one full sized sheet, not the little squares. Pour the soup over a spoon (so the rice cakes don’t splash out everywhere) into the bowl and enjoy with a large soup spoon while reading COJ : ). It seems involved but this is literally my go to meal when I am too tired to do anything. I can make it in 30 mins without thinking and it is such a satisfying bowl. Hope someone tries it!
This sounds so good, I’m going to try it, thank you!
CupOfJo inspired me to start Soup Tuesdays back in 2021! Every winter my friends and I alternate hosting each Tuesday to get through the wet, dark slog. It continues to be one of my most cherished traditions and all are welcome. We intentionally invite new people others haven’t met and it’s such a blast!
Love these ideas and recipes! I also love the white-and-blue, straight sided and flat-bottomed round dishes shown (with tomatoes, limes, bagels?, and chips) in the photos above. Can you please share the source? Thank you!
yes! Chloe May Brown, a wonderful artist in Maine: https://www.chloemaybrown.com definitely collectors items!! xoxo
I am an Experience Designer, which means I build intentional gatherings for my job. Very Priya Parker, for those who have read “The Art of Gathering.” Yes, it’s a real job and yes, it’s the best! I call this type of dinner a ritual gathering: the rules don’t really change, the people might, there are a lot of ways to do it right and it happens at an established cadence so you don’t have to constantly do the calendar nonsense. They are the best kind of gatherings because of their reliability and flexibility and for anyone who says “it’s hard to make friends as an adult!” planning and shepherding a ritual gathering is almost hilariously easy as the cure. You might have to own it for a while while it begins, but a good ritual gathering will cure (almost) anything that ails us as a society: friendlessness, loneliness, a sense of not belonging, hunger, depression. I could go on. I’m in many groups, but the best is Wine Club. We meet every month on a Thursday night. The hostess picks the varietal of wine or a theme and makes all the food. Everyone else just shows up with an on-theme bottle to share. The wine has to be $15 or less to keep it accessible and only women are allowed. That’s it! You can come wearing anything, thinking about anything or feeling anything. You can bring a friend, miss a few months, whatever you need. I host 1-2x per year and the rest of the time, I show up and laugh, talk, feel loved and held by these fierce, diverse, wonderful women who have become some of my dearest friends.
My dream job! Would love to know if there is a way to follow you or learn from your experience. Priya Parker’s book is a big part of how I started finding new friends as an adult/mother!
This vibe sounds similar to the book club I started in 2009–it’s not so much about the book as about the gathering, which is always a dinner at someone’s home, about once a month. We’re not very stringent about the reading, the members have changed as people move in and out of town, but it’s been a wonderful constant in my life. And even though I’m closer with some members than others, we always rally for each other, through the good–career highs, the births of so many babies–and the bad–breast cancer, the deaths of parents, and so on. These kinds of groups are essential, now more than ever (a tired phrase that I’m sure I’ll still trot out endlessly over the next four years). One of our members is one of the judges stopping Trump’s insane executive orders, and as another member said, “I’m honored to have pretended to have read the same books with her!”
Tell her THANK YOU from us!!!
This garlic and pasilla soup from my beloved Jacques Pepin is insanely delicious: https://www.kqed.org/jpepinheart/885/garlic-and-pasilla-soup That tortilla soup looks great! I add roasted tomatillos to mine.
My friend group is in our second winter of a movie series! Last winter we had Jane Austen Winter, this year it’s Movies that Made Us (everyone put in 2 movies that are important to them, from childhood and beyond). Last year we mostly met at mine, but this year I had everyone fill out a Google form and Made a Schedule to rotate location and meals. We meet basically every Monday, save for a few schedule conflicts, from January to early May, and that type of consistent weekly hang is the thing that gets me through Chicago winter. No one has kids, so the scheduling is definitely less chaotic and we can meet more frequently, and this year it has been a really lovely way to learn more about my friends.
As someone who goes to church weekly AND has benefitted from several years-long friend meetups, I can attest that they are indeed similar vibes–who doesn’t love to feel known, seen, and loved?
This coconut turmeric chicken soup is bomb. I add a whole bunch of cilantro since we are a cilantro loving family, but feel free to leave out. It’s such a forgiving and adjustable recipe. https://www.budgetbytes.com/coconut-turmeric-chicken-soup/
I would love an updated week of outfits from Liz if she would be so kind – she always looks great. :)
I like this idea! When I host game night a few times a year, I usually make it a “dip” theme where everyone brings a dip to share. I provide my own dip as well as all the dippers…crudite, crackers, bread, etc. My favorite soup recipe is a tortilla soup but much different from the one above. It only takes about 10 minutes to throw it together and get it cooking. I use this recipe: https://dudethatcookz.com/authentic-chicken-tortilla-soup/ My other favorite that is a little more work but makes a big batch and freezes beautifully is Dave Lieberman’s black bean soup. Everyone always asks for the recipe, it’s rich and hearty and so satisfying: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/dave-lieberman/black-bean-soup-recipe-1916368
This is my fave soup – and I don’t even have to use a blender (no thx!) https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/easy-zuppa-toscana-recipe/
I love zuppa Toscana but usually substitute cauliflower for the potatoes. I love the idea of using gnocchi instead!
This is one of my favourite ever soups. It’s beyond simple and ridiculously tasty, especially for how simple it is. The ingredients list is SHORT! 6 things and 3 of those things are water salt and olive oil, which you already have. 1 is an onion, which you already have. The other things are green split peas and lemon juice. And it works out at something ridiculous like 20 cents a portion. I would say it’s definintely an autumn/winter soup so quick, make some before the season changes! https://www.101cookbooks.com/vegetarian-split-pea-soup/
One of my favorite (and super easy AND healthy) soups is a from a Jenny R post on CoJ, January 2022! Endlessly riffable. I usually double the broccoli—sometimes do cauliflower or a mix. But only use about 6 cups broth. Typically add some disolved white miso and a little tamari—but have also gone other flavor/spice directions. And I add three cans cannellini beans towards the end. Makes for a thicker, more protein-y situation. I blend with immersion blender to a “textured puree.” So freaking yum! https://cupofjo.com/2022/01/19/easy-broccoli-soup-recipe/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
I have a book group that will be 20 years old this November. From the original group there is only 3 of left but we still get together each month to talk about books and eat homemade cake. It’s a wonderful group of more than books and friendship, it’s a group of fun, love, and support. It’s my favourite night of the month and always takes precedence in my calendar.
This soup is the bomb: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017980-mushroom-spinach-soup-with-cinnamon-coriander-and-cumin
Oh, how beautiful! I’m going to copy that recipe, and I’d love copying the whole concept. Thank you for sharing! And yes, that is one of the most sustaining and powerful aspects of being part of a church — the rooted community is a lifeline.
Um…the cake? Hello!!
I gasped! What is this cake?!
It’s the carrot pistachio cake from Joanna’s favorite, Poppy’s!!
The cake doesn’t make this look like a low-pressure, ‘just soup’ dinner at all. (?)
This sounds so fun!
We’ve been doing a soup group at work every Tuesday for the past 7 years. It’s such a wonderful way of connecting with each other and having fun in a stressful and busy cancer center. One of our team members even put together a cookbook of all our recipes! Soup group is a highlight of each week.
My husband meets his friends for coffee every Thursday morning. They go to a few different cafes on rotation, drink coffee, eat breakfast and have long talks about politics, religion, the world… They call it Old Man Coffee Club. When we had our first son, my husband brought him along. It gave them time together, and a little alone time for me. Our second son was born, and daddy took them both to Old Man Coffee Club. It’s been a wonderful tradition for my sons, and they look forward to this outing every week. (We homeschool, so it’s easy to accommodate this into their schedule.) I love that they have this great group of older men (they’re actually not that old!) and feel part of something. They listen, contribute and snack, and mama gets a quiet moment at home every week!
I love this, Sarah!
It’s not AT ALL similar, but this post about groups made me think of the “talking club” in the movie “Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar”… if you’re looking for a Kristen Wiig movie with an unhinged sense of humor, watch it! I LOLed so many times.
My group of friends used to get together for “munch” – monthly brunch- with all of the families on Sunday mornings. The kids are a pretty wide age range but the bigs would hang with the littles, everyone would bring a little something (fruit, donut holes) and the hosts would make coffee and eggs. Hoping to restart it soon but not always host!
Love a “munch”!
I’d watch out telling strangers you host a munch without explaining! A quick google will forewarn you. That said, sounds like a lovely tradition
We had a soup group at work…you sign up to bring a crock pot of soup once a year, ( or more, if you like!) and bring either bread/butter or dessert! My go to I called my anti oxidant Good For You Soup. In a crock pot, put equal amounts broth and V8 juice. Add any combo of veggies…I usually had frozen corn, a can or two of tomatoes, cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, a can or two of white or red kidney beans…Seasan with salt, pepper, red chili flakes, maybe some oregano or basil. Cook on low for 4-6 hours. Keeps great in the fridge for lunches. Another soup ritual that goes with church…in the Lutheran congregations I’ve been a member of, we have Wednesday night soup suppers during Lent before the mid week service. It’s potluck, and is a nice opportunity for fellowship, then a short worship service. I don’t go every week, but it is a nice way to be nourished physically and spiritually!
We host a big gathering every 2nd Sunday 5-7. Sometimes it’s 5 people and sometimes 40 but it’s always there and people know they can drop in and say hi, And my husband and his friends have Tuesday Dudesday every week. Same thing, you go if you can but they are on a 6 year streak of every Tuesday having at least 2 people show up,
I dream of a “toddler moms on a Saturday morning drinking coffee at a park” club. Making adult friends is HARD with a two year old who is along for the ride too. I need a friendship wingman (ideally located in Atlanta! : ) )
It’s so hard! I hope you find your people soon!
Such a fun read, all! Our 8 lady breakfast club has been a long standing NJ/NY luncheonette/diner meetup. We have our “own table” at over 40 diners on rotation. We meet monthly and the diners are picked at random (names scribbled on paper, pulled from a bowl). Plenty of repeats but diner menus are huge, so never boring meals. The best part is catching up, sharing all sorts of stuff that crosses are path and laughter! We end each meal picking next month’s meetup location. When we were all dealing with covid safety protocols/limitations, we met on Zoom from our own kitchens and ate “together.”
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020795-brothy-chicken-soup-with-hominy-and-poblano?unlocked_article_code=1.uk4.uLjl.lRpUbEkKoLZ4. This brothy chicken soup with hominy and poblano goes together in no time at all. Skip the dried dusty coriander and scatter liberally with fresh cilantro at the end. Tortilla chips crumbled over the top are not optional, as they lend a beautiful mouth feel as they melt into the broth. And I’ve just talked myself into throwing this together tonight.
Prior to Covid we had a Brunch Club made up of high school friends and for 10 years we kept it going, with a schedule mapped out at the beginning of the year, with different pairs of friends hosting a brunch every month, usually themed. As the years went on the pairs changed, or as people got married spouses were allowed to join as hosts, until the pandemic hit and the group got a little too big with kids and partners. Now no one has a house big enough to host! But it was a great thing to keep us connected regularly throughout the year. I miss it!
Love this! Logistics question-do guests contribute sides, dessert, drinks? Or does host provide everything?
Just made Jenny’s Smoky Tomato White Bean soup from Weekday Vegeterians and we loved it. http://www.google.com/url?q=https://dinneralovestory.substack.com/p/three-things-bf7&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjZs_mWk_SLAxV9QkEAHbIRIzYQFnoECAoQAg&usg=AOvVaw0LYQufexC2pXnwxNO9uzcU
I grew up on a lake in the PNW that you could swim, water ski, paddle board, etc. on in the summer months. At the beginning of each summer, my parents would send out a flier invitation to everyone we knew inviting them to Thursday potlucks. There was no RSVP process, it was just an open invitation. My parents barbecued something and provided drinks. Guests brought sides and fun. You never knew who was going to show up but that is what made the whole thing great!
I’ve been part of a women’s group for a few years now. It started off on the bigger side (around 15 people) and is now down to a much more enjoyable, trusting and manageable 6 people. We gather every other Monday between 6 and 6:30 pm for dinner. We rotate hosts who typically provide a main dish and the rest of us fill in with salad/side/bread/dessert/drinks. We try to cap it at 2 hours but sometimes it goes over. We often have some sort of discussion prompt (ie what has influenced you most with regard to your beliefs about money, how do you feel and navigate asking for help, how do you feel about how your body is changing as you age). We are all in our 50s and 60s so there’s also a lot of conversation about supporting aging parents. It is mostly single women so chasing someone out isn’t an issue. My hubby kindly vacates for the evening when I host. We’ve gone through a lot together and navigated some very sensitive discussions around religion, politics, relationships, etc. I truly cherish the group and it doesn’t hurt that everyone has some mad skills in the kitchen!
Love this, I meet with friends weekly but the topic idea is genius. Thanks.
I also have coffee at my house at 6:45 on Thursday mornings with two friends. We worked together for years, seeing each other every day, but both have moved on to new positions, and 6:45 is literally the only time we could find to regularly get together.
6:45 am? Asking because when I see gatherings, like the one in the post, I cannot comprehend how a group of people with children can keep up a commitment like that. When my kids were little and had no evening activities, I had a wonderful book club and we would meet once a month, habitually. But, with two teens and a tween, my evenings are spent attending sports games, picking up/dropping off from practices, taking to piano lessons. I’m not complaining at all, I know it’s just the season, and I don’t even consider my kids over-committed. However, 6:45 am is probably the only time I could commit to a friend gathering on a regular basis in this point in my life.
I have beans-and-rice night every Tuesday! I usually get them going in the morning before work (rice maker and instant pot with timers); friends come by around 5:30 or 6. I have a range of toppings, friends bring more: roasted sweet potatoes, cherry tomatoes, avocados, pepitas, greens/cabbage/kale, salsa, dressing, cheese. It’s 2 – 4 friends most weeks and it’s such an easy way to stay in touch. Leftovers become lunch and burrito night when my daughter’s back here on Wednesday. Cheap, easy, vegan friendly, gluten-free.
This is lovely, Louisa! Thanks for sharing. I’m going to try it out!
how can i be as radiant as your friend??? gosh, her energy an smile is beautiful!
One hundred years ago, I co-founded a Dirty Book Club. It was fabulous. Until it wasn’t. (A narcissist took over with too many tales of shaved-in-shapes pubic hair and other hi-jinks no one gave a shit about). But it was so fun while it lasted!
For about a decade, some friends and I held a poetry club where we’d meet monthly and each read one poem out loud to one to the group and talk about what we liked about them — just poems we found and liked and wanted to share. I have memories of secretly using the office printer to print out selections from the Poetry Foundation to share with the group so we could take notes. Sometimes we’d set a theme, but most often one poem would spark someone to think of another one with a similar idea or image, and by the end of the night the text chain was full of delicious poetry to return to over and over. We’d rotate who hosted, or we’d meet at a park during the summer months, and I loved how low lift it was — just find one poem. During the pandemic, daily conversation with friends on that text chain grew to become one of my major lifelines during such an uncertain time!
I used to have a group of single friends who split a CSA vegetable share–we started by just divvying up the vegetables, but then decided it made more sense to cook the vegetables together and share out the food, and that quickly became cook together, eat together, and divide up the leftovers! That broke up as people partnered up and moved away. I started a neighborhood book club that lasted until the first Covid lockdown. I’ve been taking an online language class for a few years now with a lot of the same people–each of us chipping away, one class per semester on our computers–and we are coming to the end of the degree and deciding if we have the energy to transform our little cohort into an article club (or a podcast club, to get it some listening practice) to keep up our skills even without the university…we’ll see! Some great ideas here
Wow. I would love to know if you recommend the language degree. Care to share?
Not sure if you will see this, Kirsten, since I am responding to myself but since you asked…. My local land-grant university—like many—scrapped its graduate language departments years ago to focus on more “marketable” degrees but discovered the possibility of online classes for experienced speakers during the pandemic. Technically, the degree is a graduate certificate requiring about 15 credits of class, plus an oral exam at the end and a non-credit prerequisite depending upon the results of a placement test at the beginning. I have a GPA again! I get tuition documents during tax season! There have been exams, essays, group projects, and so, so much homework plus twice weekly online classes. None of it in English so it is a serious time commitment! But that’s because grad certificates are a serious thing, particularly in education. Most of my classmates have been teachers (of languages, of English language learners, in cities with big immigrant populations, etc.). Not my field, so this degree isn’t super-valuable for me professionally, but it has been nice to have something structured but non-work-related, too. And I only wish I could invite all my classmates over for soup: they’re fascinating! I had some informal experience with foreign language years ago but only use English day-to-day and knew I didn’t have the discipline to cobble together YouTube videos and go to language Meet-Up groups. Now that I’m almost through the classes, I’m looking into volunteer opportunities to use the language because I am even MORE aware of the barriers to immigrants. Learning languages is hard, y’all!
Can we please find out where the beautiful tablecloth is from?
I second this. And recipe for that amazing looking cake please (although I’m thinking it’s not from your recent gathering).
It’s from H&M; I bought one last fall.
It’s H&M from last fall!
What is the soup on the top right! I want to make tonight :)
In the pandemic, to get through January/February 2021, I hosted a weekly Stoop Soup on my Brooklyn front stairs. It was a great way to connect with friends and their families when it was cold and we weren’t yet congregating inside. Still love the name – Stoop Soup!
I have been involved with a group of ladies for over 16 years in my small town. We call it craft night and we meet weekly. It’s incredible to look back and see what we have travelled together – births, deaths, divorces, moving, loss of job, promotions, loss and joys. Not everyone comes every week but there is so much depth in our friendship it’s become a lifeblood for me. When our babies were little we used to stay up to 1-2am but now in our middle, perimenopause years we are finishing up at 9.30. It’s been incredible for my mental health.
This sounds like such a lovely community of friends.
Melissa Clark red lentil soup, so tasty and easy to make! https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016062-red-lentil-soup?smid=ck-recipe-iOS-share
My friends and I used to send each other updates and kid pics every Monday. It was such a a nice way to stay in touch and watch their kids grow. That dropped off with the pandemic and our kids getting older :( We also used to host open houses where we would say “come over, eat chips, drink something anytime between x pm and x pm” and people loved to drop in! It was low key and low stakes. That also dropped off over the pandemic. Soup Group gets a huge yes from me since I love soup and smart women. But my house is also full of kids! Where can I send them to foster souping??
I used to be part of a group we called Supper Club, and we met roughly every month-ish to have a dinner together that was based around a particular theme decided by the group. Everyone would bring a dish and a beverage to share, but there were two rules; the dish had to be related to the monthly theme, and it had to be a new-to-you recipe. Some examples of themes we used: cultural (French, Latin American, Italian, etc.); colors (white, green, orange, etc.); Tour de France; fruit; holidays; alcohol (as in, recipes containing alcohol); the Olympics. The connection between the theme and the dish shared could be loose, as long as it made sense to you. It was a great way to test our creativity, expand our culinary repertoire, and build friendships! We continued our club for several years, but life circumstances changed – kids, moves, health concerns – and eventually we decided to lay it down. It was a lot of fun while it lasted!
My First Best Friend (we met when we were 4; we’re now almost 63!) hosts a women’s circle at the start of every season. She always makes a huge pot of soup and the rest of us bring appetizers, sides, wine and dessert. This is my all-time favorite soup that she makes ~ and I make it several times over the fall/winter/early spring, too! It’s so simple and easy to make, but the flavor is somehow unbelievably rich. Like my husband says, “Hard to believe that just leeks and potatoes could make such a flavorful soup.” Sorry, no link. Have to type it out. LEEK & POTATO SOUP 3 T butter. 3 large leeks (white & pale green parts only), halved lengthwise, thinly sliced. 2 large russet or gold potatoes (about 18 oz total), diced. 4-1/2 c (or more) chicken stock or broth. Fresh chives. Melt butter in Dutch oven over med heat. Add leeks; stir to coat with butter. Cover Dutch oven; cook until leeks are tender, stirring often, about 10 min. Add potatoes. Cover & cook until potatoes begin to soften but do not brown, stirring often, about 10 min. Add 4-1/2 c of stock. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover & simmer until veggies are very tender, about 30 min. Puree soup in batches in blender until smooth. (Or use an immersion blender.) Return to Dutch oven if using blender. Thin with additional stock if soup is too thick. Season with salt & pepper. Bring soup to a simmer. Ladle into bowls. Garnish with chives & serve.
Last decade a friend of mine hosted a women-only party every few months, they always turned so raucous. We were in Brooklyn and ny is so macho, which seemed to foster a strong unity with women.
Omg! I never know how to distinguish/categorize my best friends. “My first best friend” is a brilliant way of putting it!
Thank you for sharing!
I know it’s unrelated, but I LOVE the term “my first best friend”!
For the past four years or so we’ve had soup night each Monday (paninis in the summer) with two sets of neighbors, alternating houses each week. Both sets are moving out of state and I’m so, so sad.
If you are interested, I found this some time ago and it still often is on my mind: Wednesday Waffle :) Basically, how to connect with your friends (if you cannot meet in person regularly). It feels like a lovely idea: https://www.instagram.com/p/DBccHY0Rm2y/
I started this with 2 girlfriends that live far away, and we have gotten so much better at keeping in touch! I love that I get to see them all over – in their office, in pjs and glasses before we start the day, in the car at school drop off. I feel so much more connected. I also started sending long voice memos to a friend who’s going through chemo – I wanted to give her something she could listen to if she didn’t feel like opening her eyes. I just ramble on for a couple of minutes about whatever is in my brain and hope that it gives her something to laugh at during a hard time.
I am making note of ALL of these delicious recipes in the comments! Question about the logistics of this. It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around having routine things in the evenings. My kids are young (barely 3 and 1) and having evening commitments is so overwhelming. My husband and I have only gone out twice since the little one was born because… it just feels so impossible. Hard to find an available sitter, hard to believe that my picky baby will actually sleep for said sitter, hard to sacrifice the one time of day (after kids are asleep) where we can actually get ahead on the minimum domestic order required to function, hard to fathom giving up even an hour of sleep for anything no matter how good the soup is. Not to mention that my husband works random evenings all the time so there’s not like a day of the week I can count on him to watch the kids. Anyway do I feel this way because of my kids AGES?? Or is this a ME thing? 😂 At any rate does anyone have advice re the logistics of regular socialization while parenting…?
I know what you mean. My kids are 13 & 16 and sports driving lessons, school clubs rule every second that is not spent at school or work. But I STILL think what you said, and I will tell you this…the laundry, bills, etc are always there. The time spent not doing these domestic tastes are incredibly rewarding and make you feel like you again. It’s difficult to get out the door, but once you do you will be so glad you did. You’ll surprise yourself with a fun evening that you will be glad you showed up for!
That definitely sounds like an AGES thing! My kiddo is 8 know but I very much remember the years where I couldn’t possibly give up an hour of sleep for anything. There are more stages to come, with their own benefits and challenges. If you are interested in anything recurring, maybe a brunch group that meets for bagels could be easy and fun?
Assuming you generally enjoy social interactions, this is 100% due to your kids ages :) 1 & 3 is hard! Beautiful and fun and exhausting. Give yourself time and it will come. But also keep trying to find those babysitters, because it can do everybody a world of good sometimes! Often daycare/preschool teachers are available for babysitting after hours, which is a comfortable transition since they’re already familiar with your child (and your child with them).
It’s so much about the ages of the kids. This is a (relatively) short window where it’s hard to socialize around their needs (and the relatedly intense needs of every member of your family), but soon it gets easier, or you reach a point where it’s better to do the difficult thing and find a regular sitter you trust than it is to stay home more than feels good. But you’re certainly not alone in this experience, and things drastically improve once the littles are not quite so little.
Sam, this resonates with me so much. I’m in the thick of the baby years as well and something I remind myself *often* is that this is just one season of my life. My husband and I had years of freedom and flexibility before we had kids which was so fun; we hosted friends, went to bars, watched entire films in one sitting, and it was great. Right now we are in a season of toddler bedtimes and diaper changes and baby cuddles and bathtime and it’s very different, much more insular, but it’s also so great. It is also so fleeting. My babies won’t be babies for very long and I want to be present with them as much as I can while they are and really drink in their childhood; the good and the bad in the same hand. It’s a tough season for our social life but I’m giving it a few years and I know we’ll be back with more energy and more flexibility and things like dinner parties and date nights and book clubs will feel doable again!
Hey, doing something like this would be very hard with kids that young, at least in my opinion. It gets easier when they are a little older!
As the parent of an almost two year old who is currently seven months pregnant, this was my thought EXACTLY when reading this!
As for me I’d just do what you’ve been doing. Social stuff can come later and you’ll have the majority of your life to do it. I’m an introvert though and love to cocoon. I did have a 30 year+ friend group back East and we had a movie group almost monthly for many years. But those young family years ? Nah, I was happy with my little family. :) In those early years if I did make a commitment it “hung over my head” all day. I didn’t really want to leave what was happening at home ( ie my cherished home life ) I’m sure other more social people will have ways and ideas to make it work IF you really want to (?) ha.
Sam- it’s hard at that age and especially when a spouse doesn’t have a firm set schedule. If you have friends in a similar life stage (hopefully you do!!) maybe your “soup club” meets at 4pm on Sundays with the husband and kids. The kids all play together post naps and you get adult time and home at a decent time. Or if a few of you are SAHMs maybe you set up a Friday breakfast club- which when it is nice again outside you even have it outside at a park and everyone brings breakfast goods.
I totally get you! I feel like we are just beginning to see the light now that our children are 5 and 3 and go to sleep a bit more predictably so at least so far 1 of us can go out in the evening without it being total carnage. We haven’t figured out going out together yet in the evening, logistics of sitters etc still seems a lot but over all it does feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel! I would love to be someone who has friends round for dinner and is able to juggle kids/food/bedtime and am yet to work out if I will be able to when they are a bit older or if it’s just me and not what works for us! Anyway, all that to say I am with you, these are tough days and nights and it feels like just getting by in survival mode most of the time but it does feel like there is hope!
It sounds like you are simply in a season of life where this kind of structured meetup wouldn’t serve you….and that’s OK! We can’t do all things at all times, especially if we are caring for babies and toddlers.
My kids are 1 and 4, and I feel exactly the same. Still in the parenting trenches. This sounds amazing someday… I can barely feed myself these days! Haha.
My kids are 22 months apart. When they were 1 and 3 it was hard to do anything! This too shall pass. I have lots of thoughts because it was a real situation for me with two babies that young. But my one concrete piece of advice is to put the work in to find a sitter you trust and the kids love. Even if it’s sporadic babysitting, knowing the kids will be thrilled to see them and you can leave is priceless. My husband and I used to leave at 5 pm and get home at 8 pm (or whenever the kids were asleep, I used to text our sitter to make sure, ha).
This was me for many years – so I did a breakfast thing on the weekends – still is my favorite way to have someone over. Everybody has more in the tank in the morning, you can just make coffee and some muffins or something else easy, and then you have the whole day to recover. Kids aren’t crazy and tired and circling meltdown alley (and neither am I). Also people leave because they have things to do which keeps it reasonable. When my kid was little we even had breakfast birthday parties. They were the best.
This will probably not be a popular answer, but sleep training and early bedtimes are my saving grace. I have a 3 and 1 year old and they’re down by 7 and sleep until 7. I don’t know how my marriage would survive without it and my kids are much happier with that much sleep. We invite people over and they either come at 7 or come early and eat with the family and then hangout while we put the kids down. I just want you to know it is possible because I know I would be so lonely if I didn’t get that socialization!!
It’s an ages thing. My twins are 13 and life is good. I said to my husband on Sunday when my daughter had an impromptu dinner invite with a friend and my son was being carpooled to basketball that their freedom is MY freedom. It will come and it will be glorious.
When my eldest was a baby, my husband and I vowed we would do a date night once a month. I can’t say we were always successful sticking to the schedule, but we did make the effort. It’s so important for couples to make time for each other…you need to remind yourselves of who you were to each other before being parents. And as for domestic order…really, just let it slide. Kids and spouses appreciate your presence much more than a clean house. Honestly, have you ever seen an obituary that said the person kept a clean house even with kids?
I have a 1 & a 3 year old too. ‘Soup nights’ will be lovely when time/energy/little ones & their sleep allow it. Not yet!
I feel this. Mine are 5.5 and 2.5, and I essentially began my parenting journey during the pandemic. So combine the normal insular and isolating parts of early parenthood with actual purposeful isolation, and now I don’t know how to be a parent and have a social life. Not to mention, during the pandemic my girlfriends and I all moved from our close and walkable neighborhoods to suburbs 30-40 min apart from each other. I go months without seeing a single friend, let alone seeing a full group on a regular basis.
I’ve been in a cookbook-turned-craft club for about four years. It’s very casual and fun. We did the whole cook a recipe from the same book and have a pot luck thing for the majority of the time, but recently when were planning and felt collectively exhausted, we decided to just order take out. I was working on a project and everyone else wanted to make their own. It was such a good time, we decided to shift to crafts. Next week we’re making candles and ordering more takeout.
I’m in a two-person supper club with a good friend and we try a new restaurant about once a month. I’m also in a book club, and we try a new restaurant every time we get together, about every other month. I love to eat and read and talk about both, so both of these groups bring me so much life!
I started a soup group back when you originally posted the idea… we took a long break during the pandemic years, but we recently started back up again this winter. It’s so much fun, and our only rules are 1. Wear your comfiest clothes and 2. Don’t even think about cleaning your house if you’re the host and 3. Bring something or don’t, there’s always plenty. We keep it low stakes as possible!
I started a monthly bring-your-own-craft night in my neighborhood last summer, and it was amazing! It sparked so many new friendships and made our neighborhood feel even more cozy. Then my husband and I moved to a different state and I currently don’t have enough connections to host such a gathering. :) But you best believe it will be happening once I make more friends!
I’m hooked on this variation of chicken noodle soup….it’s a Greek Avgolemono soup with rice instead of noodles. I always double the chicken for more protein. It’s super filling and comforting but also bright with the lemon flavor. https://kellyscleankitchen.com/2023/11/27/avgolemono-soup/
We have a soup club that’s many years old as well! We call it stewsday and sometimes attempt to schedule it on Tuesdays. 100% of the time the two of us who didn’t cook that sessions soup request the recipe and leave saying “I guess I know what I’m making for dinner next week”. It never turns out quite as tasty as it was with friends though.
I just wanted to say I love your comment! It highlights some beautiful parts of friendship and inspires me to figure out how to incorporate more of that even when life is hectic and uncertain. So, thank you!!