Why We Love Bobbie Formula (Plus, a Discount Code)

Here Here!

This is precisely the problem. You’re implicitly judging women who choose to use formula. This post simply offers people an option that they can choose not to take. You seem to be discounting all the authority that supports formula (for whatever reason) as perfectly acceptable. What is wrong with normalizing an option that is nutritionally sound and allows women some autonomy over their bodies and lives? And I say this as someone who pumped and breastfed for 13 months.

It is fact that breastmilk is far more beneficial than formula, and it’s benefits last way into adulthood. Does that mean we should anyone to judge anyone who needs or wants to use formula? Absolutely not (I say this as someone who medically needed to use formula top ups to avoid my son failing to thrive). Does it mean we should do everything we can to support women who want to breastfeed exclusively? Yes! Does it mean that to continued influence of formula companies marketing over infant feeding norms, in everything from normalising formula over breastmilk, to midwives pushing formula before its medically necessary, should be carefully managed? One hundred per cent yes!

thank you for your comment, Kaja. to gently push back, the goal behind the #backoffbobbie hashtag is to promote exclusive breastfeeding; that’s the same reason behind the decision by some countries to restrict advertising. while I was able to breastfeed both my kids for a period of time, I supplemented with formula, which was a huge relief for my mental health — in many ways, a lifesaver. and many parents aren’t able to or choose not to breastfeed for many valid health reasons, work reasons, or personal reasons, and I wholeheartedly believe that’s each family’s choice.

These are very good points, Elizabeth. Thank you for chiming in with them.

Thank you for this!! I have no hangups about the combo feeding plan that’s working really well for us, but have had a hard time mentally and emotionally with the “uncool” hypoallergenic American brand formula that works best for my little one. It’s absurd in retrospect that I felt like I had to try all the European formulas first because they were surely “better.”

Elizabeth, this comment is spot on! I wish Cup of Jo had used this as an opportunity to educate readers about using formula rather than promoting this particular brand with platitudes like it’s “full of nutrients” and contains iron and vitamin D … this is misleading because nearly all formula has these things.

I am not a pediatrician, but I agree it feels off for CoJ to be selling high end baby formula. If you need to explore formula options, consult your doctor, not a lifestyle blog.

What do parents do when their infant has an intolerance to an ingredient like soy, but soy is commonly found in a lot of products? Honest question, do you have a list for parents with alternatives?

@ Dog Mom, yes, pediatricians can help with this! I am a pediatrician too, and I agree with Elizabeth’s points. I also know Cup of Jo needs sponsors to operate. So adding some information making it clear that other (including less expensive) formulas are equivalent to Bobbie would be really important, in my opinion.

yes! i think pumping is treated as this thing you must do if you breastfeed, but i found it overwhelming so i didn’t do it at all until i went back to work and gradually tapered off and combo fed. eventually, i only breastfed in the morning and at night, no pumping, and then only at bedtime. i stopped breastfeeding when my kiddo was 2 years old. i share all of this because i felt like i was doing something wrong by not pumping or having a “freezer stash,” but it was just not for me 🙂

Thank you for saying this! Everyone makes their own choices in the context of their own circumstances. I like that you are sharing, especially for moms-to-be, that breastfeeding *might* be a no-equipment option, as it was for me. (I’m not going to say it was free, because I found I needed to eat so much!)

I did this with my third and loved going without a pump except for a handful of times

Yes! Thanks for saying. I detested pumping and started working remote to avoid it and breastfeed. Such a good choice – I loved being home with my infants. Very bonding. I feel sad for moms and babies alike that pumping has become a normalized part of parenting and urge moms to resist it if they don’t like it.

This!! Agreed with all the caveats, and I’m Canadian so I didn’t have to go back to work while my babies were still nursing, and absolutely fed is best, no matter what your circumstances are! But I loved breastfeeding and a big part of it was that I never had mastitis or bleeding nipples or any pain, but it was also because I wasn’t pumping, except in extenuating circumstances, like when I borrowed a pump so I could relieve pressure while our youngest was having hernia surgery. Pumps are an amazing tool, and I would have been so uncomfortable if I couldn’t pump during that surgery! But they are so often presented as an essential part of breastfeeding and they just aren’t – it totally depends on your specific circumstances. And nursing without pumping alleviates so much mental and physical load!

yes to supporting breastfeeding in public, if that’s what a parent needs/wants/chooses to do! https://cupofjo.com/2010/11/01/breastfeeding-in-public/

Fellow Rachel and new mom to a 16-week old. We have combo fed from the get go due to a tongue tie and difficulty latching, and also wish there had been more discussion of combo feeding while pregnant! It always seemed like one or the other, when in reality using both has been a great option for our family. My daughter takes a bottle great from my partner or grandparents, which is so nice for me to be able to leave home or take a break when needed, but we also have sweet cuddly nursing sessions that are special for me and comforting for her. I’m grateful every day for formula and clean water that helped my baby grow well and clear her jaundice in the early days. Xx

Oh boy. Really appreciate you making others aware of this. The product matters, but so do other things.

Yiiiikes yes that is a huge disappointment. Thank you for sharing this.

yikes

Ouch! Thanks for making us aware!

Wowzers GOOD TO KNOW!

I think this comment is missing context. The photo of the Bobbie founder with RFK Jr. is from a meeting he held as HHS Secretary with “top infant formula manufacturers” for his “Operation Stork Speed”. I do agree it is concerning that they are promoting it, however, I do think there is a difference between getting a seat at the table among other formula manufacturers, and supporting RFK Jr.’s nonsense more generally or prior to his appointment. Unfortunately, he is the HHS Secretary at the moment. Should Bobbie have declined the seat? Should they have refused to post about it? Maybe so, but I think this context is important

Thank you so much for these replies! These issues are very important to our team at Cup of Jo, and we looked into this right away. My instinct when seeing that photo (thanks for flagging it, Carolyn!) is that Bobbie’s founder was meeting with the leaders in government, which (unfortunately) right now includes RFK. When the administration is not who we would want, it’s even more important, I feel, for women-led and family-focused companies to have a seat at the table and speak up for families. We spoke to Bobbie’s team and they reiterated that Bobbie is a mom-founded, mom-led company whose mission has always been to advocate for better nutrition for all babies — that commitment hasn’t changed across any administration. Working with a government agency that regulates a product is *by no means a partnership.* Bobbie worked with the previous administration and they’re woking with this one, too, to advocate for better nutrition for all babies. When Bobbie’s CEO Laura met with HHS in March, she was THE ONLY WOMAN in the room. Bobbie was proud to have brought a woman’s (and mother’s) perspective to the table. As an FDA-regulated product, they are required to work with government regulators, regardless of who is in office. But more importantly, they believe feeding babies is — and always should be — a nonpartisan issue. Hope this helps clarify and reassure. We’re definitely on the same page here. It’s so startling to see RFK in a photo! Thank you again for your concern and feedback, always.

This is an understandable concern, and Joanna’s reply is spot on. I work at a nonprofit that does advocacy work that directly contradicts the current administration. Guess who my coworkers are meeting with? Top republicans, and trump appointees. We are a nonpartisan organization and it is our job to get these folks who don’t understand or agree with our platform to try to see another side of things. Refusing a seat at the table can be dangerous for the industry you represent, and from an outsiders perspective it seems valuable to have a company that cares about safe formula to talk with RFK, especially since he’s interested in all kinds of deregulation. How else will we all create change? We can’t ignore these people are the decision makers right now.

Thanks for the additional information and context. I read about the project and completely understand why they’d want a seat at the table, but as I said in my first post its **promoting this image** on socials feels off to me. I think there are ways to talk about creating (bi-partisan, an assumption here) reform without going for the photo op. As far as refusing a seat at the table, I think as consumers especially of a luxury “liberal coded” product, many would have asked for and demanded this refusal during the first Trump administration. In a lot of ways I know I have become more complacent and in this case a personal line was crossed for me — this isn’t about billionaires being able to go to space or the price of iPhones, this is about determining how expensive and how exclusive safe (eg. not blackmarket) formula might be for future families in the US. For all of the good that Bobbie does, they aren’t a non-profit or even a B-Corp, they are beholden to their shareholders — this, along with their big marketing pushes, makes me skeptical of their motives when meeting with an administration which is driven so brazenly by creating personal gains for a limited set of individuals.

Carolyn’s response to the comments she received is spot on. Completely agree with her and think Bobbie crossed a line in promoting that photo.

I love your husband for this. I have had two c sections and I cannot imagine having to get out of bed that often immediately after having them! The expectations that are placed on us are WILD. So glad he advocated for you in that rough situation.

Yes!!!! If parents had one year of paid leave (among other types of support), I am convinced breastfeeding would be more accessible!!

I found out this year that formula companies have lobbied against paid parental leave for years. It’s a huge factor in why America has zero paid maternity leave. Here’s a peer reviewed source from 2023 if anyone’s inerested: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014067362201933X

Eh, to push back a bit, I find this thread a bit frustrating. I might just be being sensitive because I’m currently almost 9 months pregnant, but with my first, it was COVID, I stayed home with her for a year, and I really, really struggled with breast feeding. My body just would not make the amount of milk I needed to. I had a lot of support! I met with multiple lactation consultants (covered by insurance.) One in particular was incredible and helped me as much as she could. I had a hospital grade pump that I was able to rent. I learned how to and had the time to breastfeed. HOWEVER, my body did not cooperate. So, while I wouldn’t disagree with these comments re: support, paid leave, etc., I think they’re simplifying a complicated situation AND implying that you too can breastfeed/pump with the right support, time, etc. To me, there are some implications in these comments that make me uncomfortable – I might choose formula because I want to choose formula, not because it’s a default or I haven’t been well supported.

Thank you for your note! We aren’t saying this is the only formula that is good to use — definitely not! — just that it’s one we really like. And it is made with lactose, it’s not lactose free. From Bobbie: “Bobbie formulas, including their Organic Original and Organic Gentle formulas, are made with 100% lactose as their carbohydrate source. Lactose is the natural sugar found in breast milk, and Bobbie formulas are designed to mimic the composition of breast milk.”

Agreed with the above poster. I want to send nothing but non-judgmental “fed is best” vibes out into the world because new mothers tend to be in an incredibly vulnerable and anxious place. Bobbie is more expensive than the vast majority of other formulas and the research suggests that all of the “benefits” that it touts are overstated at best and misleading at worst. For any new mother who is questioning whether you need to find room in your already oversqueezed budget to switch to fancy formula, know that pediatricians and the research are aligned and Costco (or Target or whatever your family can afford) is just as good for your baby as this stuff. Harumph.

Mimi, I came here to say the same– I love that CoJ is recognizing all forms of feeding babies as valid. But, there is a part of me that feels like this is saying it’s okay not to feel bad about FF if you buy this expensive formula! I know that is not at all the intention of the CoJ team, but I want to also say– formula bought at Costco, the supermarket, or the drugstore is just fine! All are FDA-regulated!

Employ those safety nets! Thank you Tracey for this thoughtful perspective. As an older woman I wish these thoughts on all you younger women visiting here today: stand on our shoulders! Learn these lessons! Please try to relieve yourself of these pressures and enjoy the gifts you have. Let the hard parts be the hard parts and revel in the good parts. It’s hard to be strong in confusing times, the hardest thing can be having faith in yourself. Keep coming to places like this and reading comments like Tracey’s and build yourself up. You can do it!

Hi Tracey, I’m 10 months post partum and I had to formula feed from day 1. I tried and tried and tried for 5 weeks to produce breastmilk but I couldn’t get out more than 10 ml each pumping session. For 4 months of my baby’s life, I would cry to myself every time I prepared a bottle of formula, ridden with guilt that my body couldn’t do the bare minimum to feed my baby. I feel much better about it these days knowing she is healthy and thriving. But there are still moments the guilt catches me off guard and I go into a spiral. All this to say, your second paragraph took my breath away and has me bawling. I never thought about it this way. Anytime the guilt comes back, I will read this (screenshot now saved in my favourite folder). So thank you.

Yes to #2!! We never got into heating the formula & of course our kids were just fine. Also makes travel easier. Around the time our first was born I heard advise about the noise; I found I could put baby in the cradle in the livingroom and then vaccuum the livingroom and he would sleep right through it. Parents and friends were aghast! But atleast we weren’t tip-toeing around and could get on with our lives, and we raised very healthy and resillient people.

Just fyi it has tons of sugar in it, just like breastmilk. Lactose is a sugar. That’s just what babies need! Sugar isn’t bad.

@meghan, I meant whatever it is that makes everything smell formula-y—it doesn’t!

Thanks so much for your feedback. Appreciate it. Here’s a post about families who do formula feeding, and we’d love to do more: https://cupofjo.com/2021/03/29/why-formula-feeding-was-best-for-us/

I think it’s because Bobbie is another bougie brand trying to make people think “it’s organic and they NEED it!” – when Costco formula is just as regulated and good for your baby. It’s a marketing ploy for sure. Doesn’t mean it’s bad that moms like it and use it – but it’s expensive and implies that all of its “better” ingredients mean other formulas are less than.

Similar boat! I forced breastfeeding on myself and it was such an uphill battle, full of so many tears and so much stress. I wish I had let it go. The first year is so challenging as it is. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not make it harder than it needed to be, and that it would all be alright.

Argh, I forgot to say: I am sorry.

This is so self-aware and thoughtful; thanks for sharing! And a good reminder in general, not just about breastfeeding, that people’s criticisms usually have more to do with their own insecurities.

I had several miscarriages and then adopted my first child. Two years later, I gave birth. One week postpartum, I developed a severe breast infection and had to be hospitalized. I ended up with double mastitis, spent 5 days in the hospital, and can’t remember most of it. When I was lucid my doctor told me that I could breastfeed when I went home but the chances of developing another infection were high. I chose my dream family and formula. A year later, I shared my story with a co-worker. She said “You stopped nursing because of a breast infection? That’s ridiculous.” That baby is now 27 but that’s the conversation that rolls around in my head whenever I hear a breast vs. formula discussion. I am so happy that people are more open minded today and have room for all options and accept that people are doing what is best for their families. And I’m very grateful to you, Aurore, for sharing your story.

Ah this is why I was shamed by a mom friend for giving my baby puree instead of BLW. It was shocking.

Yes! I’m glad you mentioned that. I work in a pediatric clinic and refer parents to the Wirecutter formula review anytime they ask for formula information.

There is this weird backlash against “crazy diet culture”, as if it’s an insane fad that is “only in our heads” (How long will women have to tolerate not being HEARD or having their sensitivities, which exist for legitimate evolutionary reasons, belittled? Try to understand that it is OUR BODIES that have dictated that traditionally ‘basic’ food groups and ingredients are NO LONGER optimal. Do you understand that evolution dictates what works and what doesn’t work? Cow milk was never meant for humans, other than in an emergency starvation event, back in the old days before we we had broader education and options, but if your body can tolerate it, then great! But do not shame people for the fact that their body does not recognize cow milk as human food…(or rejects grain, or whichever ingredient, because it is no longer an optimal choice). The ethical price of taking milk away from mothers of babies to feed your own self, usually for pleasure, not because you will die without it, is a whole other chapter, but we won’t go into that here. If your baby can tolerate the milk of another animal species without generating choking amounts of protective mucus then, what a gift! Bless the cow with gratitude for giving you the milk it would have fed it’s own calf if allowed. But don’t shame others whose bodies reject it with debilitating reactions. You think I don’t love cheese? I DO. It’s addictive because it triggers the same receptors as heroin in the brain. But my body emphatically rejects it, outside of my desire for it. I work with children and the number of mucus-y toddlers I see who are clearly having an allergic reaction to that bottle of milk their caregivers think is ‘normal’ and ok to give them is just heartbreaking. ADAPT to evolution so that the human race can progress! Stop holding on to traditions that are destructive. Thank you.

I’m so sorry to have struck a nerve! I didn’t mean, of course, folks with intolerances or medical needs that require them to restrict their diet. I’m actually lactose intolerant myself! I think the question of different foods “not ever being meant” for humans is a complicated one, but absolutely, do what’s best for you and your body! I only meant that a lot of people demonize food groups due to the form of diet culture in the world that IS harmful and toxic and causes thousands+ of eating disorders a year. “Diet culture” as I define it is a totally separate thing than people who NEED to be on certain diets for medical reasons.

@ Evolve – there is lactose in human breastmilk…

My experience mirrors yours, Joy. Gosh it’s hard! xox

Joy, this really resonates with me! Exclusively breastfeeding my babies for as long as I did was a lot of work and sacrifice on my part (excruciating nipple pain! double mastitis! no date nights or time away from baby for over a year!) but I never felt like I was allowed to celebrate that. What’s more, there were so many times when I was minding my own business breastfeeding my baby and a stranger would see me and launch into, “I really wanted to breastfeed my kids but I couldn’t because…” I grew weary of other moms projecting their experience onto me (I don’t think I’m superior to you because I’m breastfeeding! I actually don’t care AT ALL how you feed your kid!) and of having to listen to someone’s story every time I fed my baby in a public place (I’m not your therapist! I just want to feed my baby and scroll my phone and zone out for a minute.). Everyone should feel empowered to feed their baby however they choose, and unsolicited comments from strangers about it are never helpful.

In my experience people who have a similar reaction to yours just really need to believe that their sacrifices were worth it. Only you know if what you gained from breastfeeding was “worth it”. I suspect it was! It sounds like you really cared deeply about it. That doesn’t change the fact that your doctor was right. Unless there was an allergy your baby would not be one bit harmed if you switched to formula! That’s just true. Fed is best is just true.

Rachel, yes it is true AND pediatricians should start by asking “what are your goals and wishes for feeding your baby as you return to work?” Instead of pouncing on the chance to nearly pressure me to use formula. I am educated and 100% know that it is a safe and wonderful option. AND…. I wanted to breastfeed. Full stop. And I felt that fed is best motto very quickly diminished that goal and desire of mine. And Kimberly, YES!! So much yes to what you said.

I’m with you, Joy! I went into motherhood not expecting to be able to breastfeed because, well, I never saw it and only heard about pumping and formula. An insightful midwife shifted my perspective – “why wouldn’t you be able to breastfeed?” I’ve loved breastfeeding both my kids. It has definitely had its hard times but ultimately it’s been incredibly rewarding. My daughter fed long enough to tell me her memories of how wonderful it was for her. BFing needs social support and personal commitment, and luck for the biology and physiology, and there are absolutely families for whom it’s not the right option, but it’s an amazing, beautiful, healthy thing to do and something to celebrate.

Go Jenny!!!

THIS. It’s a marketing campaign cleverly designed to make your brain think that it’s better than other formulas. All U.S. baby formulas are FDA regulated, there is no “better” option unless you need a special one for sensitivities.

Vera, I’m totally with you! As a mom who exclusively formula fed my second I am so happy to see posts like this that can help parents feel good about their feeding choices. However, I do think it is important to note that there are many excellent and affordable options and you can still feel good about choosing formula even if it’s not Bobbie. We personally use Costco brand which has been great for our kids and is at an excellent price point!

I don’t think it implies that you need to splurge. What stuck out to me is that if you need an option without soy or other common filler ingredients here is an option. I’ve known some babies whose moms had go through a pretty intense diet change when breast feeding because soy is in everything it seems. Certain ingredients can cause reflux and digestion issues. I myself don’t tolerate soy protein very well along with a few other ingredients so I’m always looking for a safe alternative for food I eat. Once I find something I stick to it.

Thank you Tara for being so open about your experience. Cheers to formula + SSRI’s! That combination was crucial for me too.

Tara, I am so sorry you went through that and so glad you’re here! Thanks for being open about the difficult road new moms walk and the pressure to sacrifice literally everything for our kids.

This. A thousand times this. After an emergency C section which nearly cost us both our lives, I experienced aggressive lactation advice, 3 times a day. What no one knew, (until she went from 6 to 4 pounds) was that my baby could suck all day and never get a latch, or any milk. One midnight, a nurse came in (following a terrible weight loss number) and said “honey, you need to feed your baby, and it doesn’t matter how. Let’s get you guys on some formula, get her to gain some weight, and then you can make your choices how to proceed”. that nurse probably saved my baby’s life. I did spiral down into Post partum that took my sanity, and I decided (with my Pediatrician’s blessing) to do both. Pump as much as I reasonably could. Learn to nurse (she had to have her tiny baby jaw adjusted by hand!) Give whatever breast milk there was. And use formula as well. We did about half and half.It took me 3 years to regain my mental competency. I meant to go 100% breast. I wanted to. I tried to. It didn’t work. And the entire experience was DEVASTATING to my mental health. It did not have to be. (and also, she easily went from bottle to breast and bottle and back again, all the time, with no bumps, once we adapted and got the breast game working). FED is indeed best, can we just agree on that? Please? (also, SSRIs helped to put my brain back together. They still help me keep it that way.)

Wow, your lactation consultant sucks! I can’t believe she pushed that hard for you to breastfeed without caring for your mental health. This idea that women will regret not breastfeeding is why so many suffer from severe PPD. Glad you got help!

Fellow NICU mom who feels this in deep in her weary bones. My daughter is still in the NICU after 8 months (hopefully coming home this spring/summer!). I pumped around the clock for three months while she fought for her life in the hospital. My milk supply stopped after too much stress, trauma and mastitis. We switched her to formula, she has grown and grown, and I have a precious bit of sanity back. Time at her bedside and uninterrupted sleep have helped us both survive. A NICU stay, no matter how long, can be deeply traumatizing for this reason and more. Continue to be so gentle and kind with yourself if that season still needs space to process. With so much care – Shel

Aw @Shel I’m so sorry, it is so hard. Sending my love; You are doing right by her! Make sure to find a good therapist after this is over.

My older son has had multiple cavities and our dentist told us it could be the sweets, or it could be just a genetic pre-disposition to more cavities…so I’ve just tried to do our best and not worry too much about it. Life’s too short to go without ice cream!

Kids get cavities for lots of reasons. Just like you made a decision to bottle feed your twins based on what worked best for you and your family, but didn’t beat yourself up over every single point of comparison between exclusivity at the breast breast feeding and any other method, don’t do that now either. I think a sweet once or so a day, just as you’ve been doing successfully is a really healthy and balaclava food habit that don’t good and bad foods, that doesn’t restrict our put foods on a pedestal or l and also ensures plenty of nutrients. You’re already doing great. Kids get cavities. It’s OK.

I limit sweets within reason for my kids but they certainly eat their fair share of them while generally eating what the rest of the family eats and getting a good variety of foods. In terms of limiting sweets, I’m cognizant of it but not obsessed with it. Sometimes adults eat sweets, and sometimes kids do too. It’s okay! It sounds like you are being rational, IMO! I did just want to pass along something I’ve learned recently, which is that cavities in particular can actually be caused much more easily by non-sweet starches that get stuck in their teeth and sit there and turn into sugars due to saliva. Think goldfish, certain other crackers, breads, etc. so I would think about that in regards to tooth health and not JUST sugars. Good luck!

I like the Scandinavian protocol of no sweets throughout the week but as much as you like on Saturdays only: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20211004-lrdagsgodis-swedens-saturday-only-candy-tradition

So far, we offer sweets when we adults eat them! Which might look like having a random ice cream cone on a sunny March afternoon, or eating some leftover cake for a few days after a birthday, or having a little candy before/during/after Easter. FWIW, my husband has a HUGE sweet tooth and I have none, but he NEVER has cavities and I am genetically predisposed and have them allllll the time, despite meticulous dental hygiene. This misfortune runs on my mom’s side of the family. Go figure!

aww sweets can be tough! We don’t keeps sweets in our house, mostly bc my husband and I don’t want to be snacking on them all the time (we work from home). But we go out for ice cream or bring home a treat maybe once or twice a week (a chocolate bar to share, stuff like that). But yes agreed with other comments! There are so many reasons for cavities not related to sugar.

If you’re keeping on top of flossing and brushing, the cavities might not be from the sugar. Genetics play a role and some other factors. I have only ever had one cavity in my life, while my close friend always has multiple and terrible history due to genetics. It’s just the way they are!

I think genetics play a major role. I’ve eaten lots of sweets my entire life and at almost 41 have NEVER had a cavity. I do floss daily and brush my teeth a lot, but I mostly credit good luck. I’m no expert, but to me, the more you limit sweets and make them a “thing” the more your child will put them on a pedestal and crave them. Would love a post featuring different parents and their approach to feeding their children, especially toddlers! Thank you!

We need more doctors like you!

This is wonderful and supportive Dr Susan. You sound like an excellent doctor!

Dr. Susan – please please please refer your patients who want to breastfeed and are struggling to a well-respected, skilled, and compassionate lactation consultant in your community. With all due respect, I am a lactation consultant that has been fortunate enough to spend decent portion of my career educating medical students, pediatric residents, and pediatricians about human lactation and breastfeeding. I have never met a pediatrician that was trained to help with breastfeeding issues.

Amy, many of us pediatricians are certified in breastfeeding and lactation medicine, in addition to getting exposure and training during residency.

I LOVE this xoxoxo

Charlotte, this is a wonderful idea. You are a great friend for thinking of it.

What a lovely, kind friend to be so concerned about your friends! If I may project (and if you’d rather I didn’t, please ignore), my postpartum self would have hard time with “Your baby will be awesome because you put less stress on you, and thus less stress on them.” Postpartum especially, stress was pervasive and even now when hear I studies or about what maternal stress does to kids I often have to tune it out. Regardless, what really comes through in your comment is the idea that “we are all on their side, supporting them”, and that’s beautiful, I’m grateful your friends have you.

I was actually going to say the same thing, Elly! I was SO STRESSED and felt upset that my stress might be affecting my baby xoxo but just cutting that one sentence would do the trick!

Yes! I had sweet friends who did this and encouraged me to keep the notes nearby to where I would feed my son in the night. It was awesome having a cheering squad especially because we moved away from those friends right before I had our baby!

I made a pregnancy countdown for some of my close friends. It’s a huge box with one tiny gift to unwrap each week (usually starting week 20), ranging from baby socks to chocolates to postpartum care products, etc. I also include one gift with advice and the advice is usually: “Most decisions you’te struggling with now – breast or formula, when to introduce solid food, when to start daycare, what your mother-in-law thinks of how you parent, whether or not to use a pacifier, what pram to buy – will have no impact on your child’s future health, happiness or connection with you”.

You are amazing Fay 🩷

I posted about this as well because my friend had a similar story. Thank you for sharing all the details! Such a great company!

I bottle fed my first and I’ll never forget the amazing lactation consultant gushing about how lucky my baby was that he’d get to bond with mom *and* dad through feeding. It was such a simple but powerful statement.

I had the same experience, Faye. Knowing that I would not be able to breastfeed during my entire pregnancy was extremely difficult, and I was so worried about people saying unkind things to me or making assumptions without realising my situation. The intensity of my emotions surprised me. I ran out of my prenatal class to cry in the bathroom during their section about breastfeeding. When neighbours came to our house after my daughter was born and all the bottle-feeding paraphernalia was on display in the kitchen I felt obligated to explain that I’d had breast cancer, so that they wouldn’t think I’d simply never tried to breastfeed. Now, a year and a half later, my daughter is a thriving, happy child no different than anyone else. Cancer took so much from me, but it didn’t take everything. I look at my daughter every day with a sense of wonder and gratitude. Wishing you health and happiness ahead! And sending love and encouragement to all those going through breast cancer treatment. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

I should say I had to prepare formula, breastfeed and then pump every 2-3 hours every night. So the baby woke me up every 2-3 hours and I would do all of that.

Sam, I had the an similar experience. So many lactation specialists. None of them suggesting that maybe I give this up and feed formula. It wore me down and I experienced depression too. Fed is best. And I might add, fed and held by a sane mother.

My brother-in-law (never had kids) called me after I got home from the hospital and said “Yeah, I heard you had to have a c-section” like it was a bad thing. So I proceeded to give him a detailed account of exactly why I had to have a c-section, to which he turned a bright shade of green and never mentioned it again. Turns out his step-mother (never had kids, married into the family after we were all adults) was telling everyone how weak I was because I couldn’t deliver naturally. So I hear ya about the book.

The first paragraph made me laugh out loud. Well said.

You absolutely fabulous human!!!! Thanks for the giggle

Allison, your comment brought back the horrible memory of a “friend” asking me if I felt cheated out of the last two months of pregnancy when I delivered my premie daughter. I answered, “no, I’m just relieved that she’s alive.” I’m just commenting about this in order to say that there are plenty of ways that people judge one another, say the “wrong” thing, etc. I love this phrase- “fed is best”. We all need to be kinder to one another.

I CHOSE to have a C-section. Why? Because it made sense to me. Among pregnancy, breastfeeding and C-section, my favourite and smoothest experience was the latter. Going again for C-section this September. Never felt less of a woman! Hope this guy will like my boobs though ;-) Fed is best and enough with mama shaming in all its forms.

No, that isn’t a typo :) Bobbie’s formula is made with 100% lactose, because lactose is the primary carbohydrate in breastmilk, and Bobbie’s mission is to develop formula’s that are as close to breastmilk as possible. x

After weeks of trying (SO HARD!) to get my daughter to nurse, I eventually exclusively pumped with her. My second born son nursed right away with no issues whatsoever. I was amazed at how easy breastfeeding was after exclusively pumping. And I felt (and feel!) very bonded to both babies.

Hi! Bobbie’s formula is made with 100% lactose, because lactose is the primary carbohydrate in breastmilk, and Bobbie’s mission is to develop formula’s that are as close to breastmilk as possible. x

It was worth it in my opinion too. It was hard at the beginning, but after couple of weeks it was a very enjoyable experience. And the idea that my body is feeding my baby gave me so much needed strength. Please don’t give up, I promise it gets better.

Alc, I am so glad to hear that ultimately you had such a positive experience! I was miserable breastfeeding my son and I remember at my two week appointment my OB said “well don’t give up now when it’s hard! (I know longer see her) but anyway, all I can say is once I stopped and switched to formula I was finally able to feel those cozy bonding hormones you mentioned. All to say, everyone is different. With my second, I exclusively formula fed and I also agree that one of the best feelings of my life was giving him a bottle in those early days and having him take a cuddly nap on me. When I was breastfeeding my first I was never able to have those contact naps because I was so uncomfortable and touched out I felt that I needed him off of my as soon as the feeding was done.

Yeah….. YMMV with this comment. Good for you, not for me! I’d be resentful of anyone who told me to reconsider- we are all on different journeys and it feels really pushy to suggest that the way you did it was somehow better than anyone elses? I breastfed and NEVER got a cuddly nap after so….!

@Sandra I relate to this so much! My hands down favorite memory of my partner during that first week of new parenthood was watching him hold our little tiny baby and feed her with a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes. It’s the best feeling being able to keep a new little helpless human safe and healthy and happy.

100% this. The equity for both of and the sanity my wife who birthed our baby was able to have because she could SLEEP was priceless.

Not early term, but I had a planned C-section as well due to my daughter being breech and milk came in in about five days.

It’s good to consider all possibilities and think through how you’d react. My daughter was born early and my milk came in, but she had trouble swallowing without choking on my milk so we had to bottle feed her thick formula.

I had two early term c-sections and no issues with milk. That being said, my first child had to spend some time in the NICU, and breastfeeding never really clicked after that. I tried pumping exclusively for the first three months, but I *hated* it. Wish there had been more formula options around back then, but we did ok. No feeding issues at all with my second. Hope it all goes smoothly for you!!

Every body is different, every pregnancy is different, every delivery is different, so good to be prepared, but you never know… My kid came 6 weeks early and was breach, so I had a c-section. My milk came in right away. He was in the NICU and I couldn’t breastfeed right away, so I started pumping. I did a combo of breastfeeding and pumping for most of his first year and even though he had a bottle before breastfeeding, he easily did both. I actually ended up having a massive over-supply issue and I have some weird enzyme that made my milk taste funny about 24 hours after pumping it. Some babies don’t mind the taste, but mine hated it, so I donated a bunch of my milk. My best friend adopted a baby seven months after mine and I got to share my milk with her, which was the coolest thing.

I had an emergency c-section in 2016 at 36 weeks. My son was born at 2am and since I was adamant about breastfeeding, I was able to receive support from a lactation consultant and a team of fabulous nurses from Dartmouth (shameless plug for a great maternity ward!). I pumped to jumpstart the supply, which came in that same afternoon, but my son needed food before I could provide directly at the source. I refused formula and okayed donor milk. Thanks a million to all the people with boobs who have ever donated human milk and made my choice possible <3 I went on to breastfeed successfully for nearly 2 years — I would have gladly continued but once my son discovered cow's milk, there was no turning back for him, haha. I had to continue pumping at home for about one month because late pre-term babies tire easily when they feed directly at the boob, so in addition to that, my husband also fed him with a device which name I have since forgotten, that is basically a tube that you tie to one's finger and you let the baby suck on your finger (bc it's less confusing than a bottle nipple) and that was pure hell, with all the parts to clean and assemble. When I went back to work (after a chosen and sacrificed for) 7 month maternity leave, I was privileged enough to have my son brought to me between classes to feed; he wouldn't take a bottle, not even the ones with the nipples that supposedly mimic a boob. It'd be interesting to look at this very controversial issue as a social justice issue too — we're talking about choice, but many parents in the US simply do not have one.

yes! great idea, apple xoxo

Yes!!

Ooo, yes! And then interview my TikTok-famous friend Emily who is a baby name consultant!! (https://www.emdoodlesandstuff.com/andstuff)

Your grandmother is a HERO. A beloved mentor many years my senior accomplished a major career goal during the first year of her first baby’s life. I asked her how she did it and she was totally clear: she didn’t breastfeed and her husband took on the lions share of the childcare that year. She was/is an absolutely devoted mother and the fact that she didn’t breastfeed or take a traditional maternity leave didn’t change that. It was life changing information to learn.

What formula is $700/month?!

The cheapest version in the US that you get in bulk at Costco. It’s $50/box, we went through a lot of boxes in the beginning

Same experience as an emergency c section / NICU mom. I still don’t know what to make of this, but I experienced both extreme unkindness and extreme empathy while learning to feed my babies. I’ll never forget it.

There was no lactation consultant at the hospital when I delivered my first. While I was in the hospital recovering from a c-section and terribly nauseas I had trouble getting my daughter to latch-the nurses were hand expressing me around the clock which was extremely painful (though I know they were trying to be helpful) and telling me there was likely a tongue tie. After relying on pumping and finally hiring a lactation consultant 2 months post postpartum it turned out, there was absolutely no issue at all I just needed someone to demonstrate how to properly hold the baby to ensure a strong latch as this was not obvious to me as a first time mom! All this to say, every single woman should have access to a lactation consultant after delivery. Period end of story.

I am so sorry that happened to you. That person and that institution were completely out of line and abusive. For new parents out there, know this – you can tell lactation consultants, and your nurses, that you are REFUSING lactation support and the lactation consultant is not allowed to enter your room without an express invitation from you. LCs are often instructed by the hospital to keep pushing until they get a no. Give that no. You can always change your mind and ask them back. But your emotional and mental safety are CRUCIAL in the first days of parenthood. Protect yourself as best you can with a strong NO if that’s what you need or want.

@ amy, i am sorry to hear you did not have the help you needed, but I am not sure how/why you replied to mine with such a vehement every women needs a LC, period, based on what I wrote. kind of think you missed the point. @ anon, sending you a hug and saying i know what you mean because the therapist who helped us teach our daughter how to use a bottle was an absolute angel on earth. @ana, oh the amount of no’s we noped, it was to no avail but at least stopped once I was discharged and the NICU nurses kept her away from our pod for the two months our daughter was in the NICU, bless them.

Holy balls, Karen! That’s beyond horrible. And who wants to navigate an escalation to hospital management when you just want them to focus on your baby, and give you space??? I was EXTREMELY lucky to have made the decision in advance, to have had time to communicate my decision to exclusively formula feed to all hospital personnel in the room during my emergency c-section, and then have my words respected by all staff and tangibly supported by my spouse. I’m also white and cis presenting and my baby had no measurable health challenges at birth, all factors that supported people making the right effing choice to respect the gestational parent, which they should do every time yet so often do not.

I can tell from this post that you are going to be (or already are) a parent that does not subsume your needs to your kids, and you will be such a great parent because of it. WELL DONE. I realize that in the moment you went with breast feeding, but I just want to applaud your overall ethos is “I do not have to sacrifice myself at the alter of motherhood to care for my children.” Amen, good for you, and may the universe provide another Ricky Martin concert and even better seats.

Hahahaha. But yes so much this. I found breastfeeding to be a punishing level of sacrifice that I no longer experienced when I stopped at 8 months. If we have another baby it’s formula from day 1 for us.

Thank you for this!

thank you for this! this sponsored post made me uneasy because it seems to be all about a great mission but obviously it’s a for-profit company focused on selling formula to high-end consumers. even as it says “fed is best” it implies that other formulas are bad, but it doesn’t acknowledge that most people cannot afford their products. i can imagine feeling anxious and afraid if i had read this as a new mom without a big budget (which i was, not long ago). i felt so lucky that i was able to BF precisely because even affording “non-premium” formula would have been tricky given that we were living on one salary in a super-expensive city…

Yes, I feel weird about this too. Definitely a brilliant idea to remove stigma from formula or combo feeding and have a post dedicated to this vital topic. For that post however to be sponsored by a specific premium formula brand just feels a bit off to me. Maybe different in UK/Switzerland where I had my babies, but I was always under the impression that as the area is so strictly regulated formulas are much of a muchness.

I’m a pediatrician and happily fed both my babies Kirkland formula! :)