A Week in Italy

Me too. Can you please share?

not really! I don’t mind that it’s a little crumpled because it’s linen — and it’s not too much — in the photo, I’m wearing my shirt after it was squashed into a suitcase for a week! :)

Cotton double gauze is another great option. It’s light and the texture is great. You never have to iron.

I don’t mind crumpled linen either, but I wish I could figure out how to keep the hem from rolling up. Anybody have suggestions?

Air dry only!

Another fan of the long-sleeve rash guard and board shorts combo here! As a fair-skinned redhead with a healthy respect/fear of skin cancer, I am thrilled that long sleeve rash guards are available and a thing now. Not having to worry whether or I successfully applied sunscreen to every nook and cranny (and whether it needs to be re-applied) is a godsend.

After many, many skin cancer excisions, a standing appointment with my dermatologist every six months, etc., I am also most comfortable with board shorts (or a skirt) and a rash guard. Has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel about my body in relation to its size.

This! How about we just don’t make assumptions about what people (read women) are wearing and why, full stop? Judgement about not wearing a bikini is just as wearying as judgement about wearing one.

I love my cute bikinis but as a determined snorkler I too am a rashguard (long sleeved!) and swim tights + sea shoes person because, Jellyfish!

I always feel like an alien in these conversations because I literally do not care at all what anyone might think about what I wear. (Happens to be a long sleeved rash guard an short or bikini bottoms – because I’ve had a LOT of sun in my life and hate sunscreen, even though I wear it.)

As a young American woman who JUST started wearing bikinis after being raised in a conservative household, as far as I can tell, the reasons for this are: The U.S. is a prudish nation. We are uncomfortable with sex and bodies. The U.S. has unhealthy physical standards, especially for women. If you have cellulite, wrinkles, or stomach fat, nobody wants to see you in a bikini. So this means the only people “allowed” in bikinis are young, thin women. Any time I went to a pool or beach growing up, I’d hear the women around me comment on how other women shouldn’t be wearing a bikini for a variety of reasons: pregnant, fat, old, TOO skinny, etc. Part of our society’s issue with bodies is the indoctrination that happens when you’re young to constantly monitor and critique each others’ appearance. I just got a letter from my 90-year-old grandmother talking about how she’s getting fat and needs to lose weight. It broke my heart.

It’s changing, but it’s been deeply ingrained into the culture that if you have stretch marks, fat, cellulite, etc, you “shouldn’t” wear a bikini. It’s really dumb.

You know, I’m all in on the bikinis for all shapes and sizes, but I do wonder how everyone deals with body hair! Again, you should feel free to come as you are, but I usually resort to a higher coverage bottom so I don’t have to deal with stress about the bikini line. Shave, wax, laser!?

Verena, I agree with all the answers given here. Sara B said she thinks it’s changing. I think it WAS changing for the better, slowly, as in it was becoming more acceptable for women to have bigger bodies. But I’m worried that change is reversing as GLP-1’s become more readily available and that thinness will be glorified as the ideal again for the foreseeable future.

I don’t even like watching my local news station anymore because they advertise a business called Skinny Seattle. What the hell. What decade are they in ??

Liz, re: body hair. While I of course respect that some people prefer removing body hair, as an ethnic person who grew up in the 90s and used to cry over how hairy I was even after spending a lot of time on hair removal, I’m so happy to finally be at a point where I’m just not worried about it? I still generally shave, but if I have visible stubble and wiry hairs on my bikini line, I am cool with that. I am no longer chasing a hairless standard that was not invented with my ancestry in mind and feel a lot of relief <3

this one, always and forever! https://cupofjo.com/2023/10/31/my-friend-gemmas-amazing-lipstick-find/

Oh Joanna, do another My Beauty Uniform with Gemma! It would be so nice to see how her beauty routine changed in the last 10 years. I wonder what new tips she’ll have for us!

Agree! It looked so cute!

I’ll ask her! xo

I once saw a very fat woman wearing an amazing ruffled electric pink bikini and she looked incredible!

yes!!! when we were in Paris earlier this year, we kept saying how women looked their ages, and we loved it.

How to get a bikini body: Put a bikini on your body. 😊

Just for conversations sake, I also love natural looks on older women, ( I am 59) but it’s tricky…divorce is the norm and if you want another partner after age 50, how the heck do you get any man, let alone a decently attractive single one, to even notice you without . In the US at least, they have infinite choice and they gravitate towards silicone sisters…lol. Just look at fricken Jeff Bezo’s choice! (not that he’s the standard man but I’m just saying). I’m sure she is a very interesting person but all that silicone..? Not to mention tRumplestilsken’s choice…mind boggling how she has stayed with him. I’m convinced he is paying her to stay.

Callie, do you mean Trumpleshitstain? I’m sure he’s paying her to stay!

My husband is from Marseille and we visit often to see my in laws. My daughter and I are currently here! I’ve tried explaining it for years….the French truly embrace getting older….and French men love older women. It’s so refreshing to see beautifully mature women rocking tanned leathered skin, bikinis, low cut sun dresses….and the absolute joy that emanates from them. I’m happy I married into this family and culture.

I struggle with this too! One thing my cousin Jeremy and I do is agree to do no adult phones in common areas for things like our England trip or Christmas. Of course you can use your phone for a recipe or to take a photo, but otherwise people have to be off them. It ends up being so sweet with adults just hanging out and watching the kids and reading etc — wild what a difference it makes.

this is a really good question! and good idea about adults agreeing to no phones in common areas. It’s easy for me to forget how influential and impactful setting an example can be. I am following replies for additional suggestions.

Yes! I feel this too. I try to be transparent about what the heck I’m doing on my phone, both to buy the time I need to concentrate and to keep myself from just wallowing in phoneland. Like “i need to send a text to aunt sharon about this weekend.” Also no devices at meals (unless there is a toddler or preschooler involved – then all bets are off).

Just did an 8-day roadtrip im norway with my 10 year old, no screen time. We only used my phone for directions, travel info and messaging/calls. Brought a few toys, books, drawing stuff and a polaroid camera for her. She helped with directions on the road and spent so much time drawing, chatting about important kid stuff, playing outside and reading. We made an amazing circuit, took great pictures of lighthouses and had a lot of norwegian waffles and coffee stops. She knew there would be no screens and is used to a pretty limited amount of screen time. Grand success!

My personal preference when I go on vacation: I put my phone in airplane mode the entire time. That way I can take pictures, but otherwise there’s no need for me to be on my phone. I bring a real book, maybe a sketch book and some pencils, or a deck of cards and that’s that. It forces me to fully disconnect from work/social media and fully connect with whoever’s with me. If we travel with other adults, I don’t ask them to get off their phones because that’s their business, but at least my son can see me not being on my phone. I try to practice this at home, too. I think you just have to do it and then it gets easier!

Love this!!!

I turned 60 this year, and am embracing “if you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body!” era of my life.

I love this and remember the same situation when I lived in Italy. However, it is harder to feel confident without the deep tan most Greek and Italian ladies have!

“It’s just a body.” Omg, love that!! That’s my new motto this summer.

I am an American and cannot imagine ever wearing any kind of bathing suit in front of work colleagues. This country is dumb.

So true! My daughter and her boyfriend just spent a week at an agritourismo in Umbria and it was perfect for them! So lovely!

In a situation like this, I would probably split it up per room. So if my husband and I had a room and my daughter had her own room, my family would pay for two rooms. When we do group trips we usually take turns making meals at the house, and then pay for your own meal when you eat out.

We use a spreadsheet, which sounds crazy but really makes it easy to split things up. Typically groceries are split evenly, and, depending on the group, dinners out as well. But separate checks when out works too. Also, in my group of friends, whomever did the heavy lifting of planning and booking gets the best room!

I was also wondering about group travel logistics. Do you decide who and how many friends to travel with first and then look for a place with an agreed upon budget and location or do you find a place you like and then work to fill it with friends? Sounds like maybe not all your friends knew each other before hand – is that a good idea? Does every family get assigned responsibilities like cooking/shopping for a certain # of group meals? Do you decide that you’ll have dinners (or breakfasts) together each day but then people are free to do other activities (or nothing) as they see fit? What were the sources of friction between families on this trip – if any? And bigger picture, how did you even decide where to go? Did one or more people do all the planning? Thanks for anything you are willing to share!

Cosigned – I want to see the spreadsheet. (As the person who built all the shared spreadsheets for annual friend trips ha! I have a good-ish template by now. It’s a lot harder with kiddos than it was when we were camping and beer was our biggest expense.)

A few things are key for me in traveling 1. Traveling with people Im comfortable enough to talk money with so we cam discuss everything including price range for where we stay and options for dinner or excursions. We don’t get super nitty gritty about it but people I feel comfortable enough to say thats too pricey for me. Also I want everyone to be comfortable enough with costs so that we don’t have to scour each bill for exact prices we can just say split it 2. We also use the app Splitwise that allows you to track all the expenses and then gives different options for splitting up the expenses so for the hour maybe its 60-40 because I have my family. It also allows for you to split with just a few people (ie recently on a trip a few friends got drink on a tour and a few didn’t so they shared that cost and left us out) It also makes things easier because you don’t have to do 4 credit cards at dinner just one person picks it up and adds the expense to the app and everyone settles up at the end.

Splitwise is an amazing app! We do a trip with two to three other couples every year. We rent a big house. One of the couples has a kid and their mom comes to watch him. We split the house and all food equally (using Splitwise) among the three to four couples – sans mom and kid. I’m ok with this because we it makes it so easy for us to leave and enjoy our adult activities! Life is too short to worry about who used what. Or 100% equitable fairness. The mom/grandma does pick up some extra groceries and will pick up a tab if we all go out.

use Splitwise! it makes things so easy.

As the holiday organiser for our friends, we have done a group villa trip for 4 years on the trot now. The first year, 2021, was obviously COVID so it was very easy to know no one had any plans and everyone would be keen to come to a beachfront villa lol. Then as another commentator said, you split the cost per room. I always ask the villa company to send a floorplan to make sure the room layout works for our group as some friends have kids and their rooms should be close together and also not near the common areas so the adults don’t need to worry after bedtime. Before the trip, I assign each couple a night for cooking dinner. We travel as 5 couples so the last two tend to be leftovers on the last night and something simple the day we get there. Lunches are normally out so easy. Throughout the week people go to the supermarket to get groceries for the evening meal they’re in charge of and can pick up other things as needed. Then all food costs are added into Splitwise and paid for equally.

Great question Sara. I typically travel in two scenarios: 1) With my sibings, their kids and my best friends, we are very loose with who pays for what within rough proportion. e.g. I will pay for my youngest sister’s accommodation because she is quite low income and the rest of us are high income. She might pay for an ice cream outing. Candidly, none of the other siblings are at an income level where a few hundred or even thousand dollars matters and so this has been our arrangement our entire life. We also have the kind of relationship where this is this kind of trust and comfort level. I feel very lucky. 2) With most other family/friends: we split down the middle. One person pays for the accommodation, another pays for the food if we are staying in an AirBnB, and we divide this among the number of adults and then pay. People can contribute extra drinks and food if they wish but no one tracks that.

When I travel with my friends, we split big costs (Airbnb, groceries) evenly per adult. So my husband and I each pay the same amount as a single friend. If someone doesn’t drink, they don’t have to pay for any alcohol. We use Splitwise! It lets you put in all expenses, select who shares what, and then evens it all out for the group. Super easy!

Agreed!

Hi Joy, I was in Rome and Florence the week leading up to Easter this year and it was absolutely packed with tourists (and hotels were expensive) but I booked everything we wanted to do in advance and we had a great time. My other piece of advice is not to pick up travel tips from social media because those places will be mobbed.

I’d say if you want to swim, go for July – the weather was perfect at the end of June and first two weeks of July this year. Choosing less busy places will help too – Santa Margherita Ligure didn’t feel mobbed by tourists, where Amalfi Town and Positano were on our trip last summer. If you’re still thinking of Amalfi, we stay on Ravello and go to the beach in Minori which are both way less crowded. Sanremo was also pretty low key from a tourist standpoint. From my understanding, Cinque Terre tourism has greatly increased in recent years so March would be better for that I’m guessing (but cold water!).

I’m here in Italy now with my mom and sisters (celebrating our 40th, Mom’s 70th birthdays). We did Cinque Terre and Amalfi (and Tuscany). Crowds are real but they will not register in my memories. I will, however, absolutely bring to my grave: jumping off rocks into the water with my sister, making pasta in a cooking class with my mom, my sister’s surreptitious photo-taking of all the beautiful gentlemen here, and my Mom’s smile swimming in the Tyrrhenian Sea when we finally got to the coast. This is to say— go when you want, drink water, and pack your good attitudes! (And highly recommend Gate 1 Tours.)

This is responding to both Joy and Ashley, I just spent a couple of weeks in Italy, on the coast and inland and it really wasn’t bad! I would also echo the remark of Ashley to avoid getting too much info off of instagram. Some of the most pittoresque spots in Europe ( I doubt it’s happened in the States simply because of the scale!), have been utterly ruined by over tourism. It’s so weird what a fine line it is. Cinque Terre is one area that l’ve visited several times over the past 40 (wow getting old!)years. I’ve been twice in the past ten years, and it’s nuts.😢 I have no idea how to find the balance. Tourism is so important for the local business, and it’s one of the greatest joys in life to discover beautiful spots… however,it’s crazy the impact on the numbers is beyond belief! The guardian regularly does articles on this phenomenon. Here’s just one of dozens of articles in the past several years. They https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/may/19/balearics-hit-back-at-selfie-tourism-as-sites-become-overwhelmed I used to love sharing off the beaten track spots with friends, but I’m VERY careful now. I brought a close friend on a two week tour to some of my favorite preserved sites here in France, and she unwittingly shared with ONE wrong person, and all of these treasured spots were then shared with this persons HUGE audience two months later when this person went on a trip which recreated exactly our itinerary. Don’t underestimate it. So. Many. Beautiful villages have been transformed because of it. I’m not a gatekeeper for a lot of things, but wow, when you’ve seen the potential outcome of over tourism it will stop you cold in your tracks! I’m just going to site this one example of a beautiful isolated cove with a capacity of @ 100, that was shared by an influencer and saw the fréquentation explode to 4000 visitors per day (1200 cars)!

Anon – on instagram and overtourism I really noticed this is Paris a few months ago. Certain sandwich shops, bakeries, boutiques, restaurants etc had really long queues of US tourists outside when a few doors down there were options that looked similarly cool/interesting/stylish with no queue. Notable ones were Sezane and Relais de Venise. It’s a tricky one because obviously tips and recommendations can be really useful! Just think there’s so much to be said for wandering around and stumbling across different places.

Daphne, I live in the French countryside, but lived for many years in Paris, and still have an apartment there. We have watched it get worse and worse in Paris. Your observation of the usefulness of tips is so accurate, as is your remark of the amazing serendipity of stumbling onto good things. It is such a balancing act. I feel incredibly lucky to have traveled a lot before instagram…

We love F1. Have headphones for him. Took my daughter to her first race i Melbourne this year and she has very sensitive ears, wore headphones and no problem. I actually saw a man carrying a baby that didn’t seem older than a few months, not something I would do.

We went to the first COTA race in Austin! (Oh gosh, what a lifetime ago) Headphones/ear protection for everyone. It is SO loud, although this was a different model of car, but also really engaging and enthralling and you kind of tune out the noise because you’re so excited. We wore earplugs the whole time but if I went again I would consider over the ear ones.

Thanks ladies! I glad you noted that everyone wore headphones, I definitely would’ve neglected my own ears. I’m going to try to make this happen. The US races are so expensive comparatively. We wouldn’t even need flights or a hotel for Vegas as we could drive and stay with family but it’s still the most expensive option. So if we don’t make on this trip it’ll have to wait until next year.

Same. I have never felt thin enough to wear a bikini my entire life. Now I wear a skirted tankini so my upper thighs wont show.

In my observation it’s both American media and attitudes that only “good” bodies wear bikinis, and there’s also the influence of the climate of where you grew up. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, where summers weren’t hot and wearing a swimsuit at all just wasn’t that common outdoors—if anything you’d wear the swimsuit to go for the swim, and then you’d either put on clothing or wrap a towel around yourself for warmth, just as much as modesty. So we didn’t see each other hanging out in swimsuits or walking around in them. In contrast, if you’re in a climate where people can and do wear swimsuits all the time—seeing people in swimsuits is very normalized, and that also lends itself to the (natural) observation that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and people of all shapes and sizes wear bathing suits of all shapes and sizes, too. I didn’t wear a bikini when I was young (and had a smaller and “nicer” body), but I did start to wear them in my 40s when I was in Mexico and Hawaii and women of all shapes, sizes, and ages were wearing them, too. Now I tend to wear long sleeve rash guards and board shorts just because I need the sun protection!

I’m spending the summer in Portland, am from coastal southern CA, and what’s striking to me is how folks of various body types (all ages, really) wear a variety of clothing I never see back home. I’ve felt freer in wearing tighter tops, shorter shorts, despite feeling pretty insecure about my weight gain and shape. Not saying Portland is a representation of what we see in parts of Europe, but as a californian, it stands out to me and I appreciate the diverse style representation!

Oh my gosh thank you, that means a lot to me, sob xoxoxo

Yes!!!!

Every time I try to learn enough to perform routine tasks it backfires! Knowing “do you speak English?” and “sorry,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please” is usually enough. Also something like “non mi piace il mio presidente” will endear you to most Europeans.

I said all my greetings and pleases and thank you and that in Italian and I’m sure I said everything very wrong and American and they would immediately speak English happily. I tried!! Haha I think that’s what counts most is that you’re making a good effort to speak their language

I went to Rome and Venice this spring and a friendly enthusiastic “buongiorno!” gets you a looong way. I speak French, so I can make a semi-decent guess at some words that are cognates, but almost everyone speaks English and didn’t seem at all bothered by my lack of Italian. My advice—just go and enjoy! I think it’s appreciated when you do make an effort at Italian even if it’s very limited. My pronunciation of “ciao” and “grazi” got way better by the end of the trip and in Venice I ended up carrying on a surprisingly lengthy conversation in Italian with a shop owner (I just kept nodding and saying “si, si”).

My family loves to travel and our basic strategy for any country is to learn the pleasantries and a few key phrases and figure out the rest as we go. Generally, in tourist areas, someone is guaranteed to know some English, and Google translate can help when needed! Book your tickets and have a great time!

It’s easier now than ever with translation apps. You can learn some basic polite phrases and then sometimes I will just use my app to figure out what I need to say before I need to say it lol. A lot of people do speak English over there (at least some). I always try and then if they start speaking in English I go with it.

I think it helps! I’ve only been to Florence and a small town in Abruzzo, and in Florence, many people would switch to English (sometimes patiently, sometimes not). In the small town, fewer people spoke English, but colleagues I was traveling with managed alright without more than the basic niceties (grazie, per favore, si …). That said, I’d studied Italian via Clozemaster in the 2 years between trips, and people would soften if I started with, “Sto imparando Italiano …” [I’m learning Italian]. So, I think it’s easier to know a little, especially in smaller towns, but I don’t think it should stop you from going.

As a European I always made an effort to learn at least the basic expressions, ideally more, when travelling to another country. It makes a trip more enjoyable and locals will appreciate your effort and be more willing to help. Being half Italian I am of course fluent but I am also learning Spanish because I love the language.

My husband and I went 9 years ago for our honeymoon. We practiced from a 60 minute CD in our car for a few months before going. It was mostly traveler’s phrases — yes, no, hello, where is the bathroom, please, white wine, etc. Ha! We found that in Rome, Siena, and Venice we used what we learned but also got along great with all the locals. They speak so much English, and even the ones that didn’t were happy for us all to muddle through a conversation together. We’ve been back several times to all different areas and found the same thing. It’s helpful to know how to say yes, no, hello, and thank you, but everyone we met has always been so happy to speak English or muddle through the conversation with a smile.

A few words here and there plus google translate is generally enough. Italians WILL just speak very fast italian at you but its a very expressive language and you can usually get the gist!!

From a European – we also don’t speak all the languages! English is very common and lots of people are happy to speak it. The problem is not the language, but the attitude and behaviour of many tourists. Demanding/ expecting English everywhere is rude, but if you learn how to say “hello” and “thank you” in Italian and then ask kindly “is it ok if I speak English?”, most people wouldn’t mind at all (if they do understand English of course).

They speak english well in the cities, especially the northern cities but if you want to be treated like family, learn the language. I went to rural sicily this year and they were all so delighted with my (not great) language. We got invited places and given things we would not have had access to without it.

Don’t be afraid to just learn a few key phrases and give it a go! Everywhere I’ve travelled in Europe, I’ve found that most staff working in tourism & hospitality businesses speak at least a little (if not excellent) English. But of course it’s more polite and you’ll get a better response if you don’t just launch into English, so just learning a few key phrases is all you need! At a minimum, learn “hello” or “good morning”, “please”, “thank you”, and “do you speak English?” – you can find the words and phonetic pronunciation guides online, then I usually put them in a note on my phone (written phonetically) and try to memorize them on the way there.

Hey! Two piece shape is the shape you are when you put your two piece on. Plus I bet they look bomb!

You’re not the only one, Kath. We did a week at a lake house with my nuclear family, parents, and sister’s family and while it was one part glorious, it was many parts whiny and exhausting and irritating with so many children and all the demands they bring. It made me long for a week alone on a beach somewhere with a book. But, I do find that even horrible trips can become great family lore if you can laugh at them later.

We have definitely had some bad trips. Also, bad moments on good trips. But some just overall bad. As Anne Lamott wrote, “life is lifey.”

Kath, I’m so sorry and if it were me, the stolen bikes would put me over the edge. Start fresh tomorrow….family meeting and everyone picks one fun, simple thing they would like to do. Have some ice cream, it always makes me feel better!!

If it makes you feel better I find that I rarely enjoy family trips while we’re on them. I can’t turn off my anxious brain, my husband and I get in at least one terrible fight when we’re trying to get everyone out the door, the kids are overstimulating. But somehow the memories turn sweeter in retrospect and the kids usually have a blast, so I guess we’ll keep trying

Oh Kath! Isn’t it such a lonely feeling to be surrounded by family but feel so frustrated and distant? I’ve felt the same thing where I just wanted to go home early. Sometimes a trip just sucks and it feels good to say that out loud.

Sometimes even the best intentioned, most thought-out, and DESPERATELY needed trips turn out to be absolute nightmares. We went to the beach (aka, Jersey Shore where they should have *good enough* medical care) with my 2 boys (3 and 6) and my 3 year old ended up with severe croup, the local hospital refused to continue to treat him for liability purposes, and had to be medevac’d to a level 3 children’s hospital in Delaware (on night #1, I might add) … So picture this: me and my 6 year old in a condo in NJ, my husband’s truck (our only vehicle, and one I have NEVER driven out of fear) in a NJ hospital parking lot 30 min away, and my son and husband in a hospital in Delaware 2 hours away from us. Logistical nightmare to say the least. Talk about NOT the vacation (aka, trip) we needed so, so badly. Luckily, he was discharged hours later and was ultimately fine, but the emotional gymnastics we went through was truly exhausting and terrifying. We tried to savor the rest of the time, but my anxiety really affected me. On a side note : he loves talking about his first helicopter ride….

Thanks all! It is helpful to say it out loud. We had a family meeting last night, and the hotel pool and ice cream are on the agenda for today, so definitely feeling a bit better. Life is super lifey right now… thst is such a helpful mantra/reminder

A tip that has been so helpful to me, and maybe that I got from a former COJ post on travel – On big trips with family, especially extended family, plan for one BAD DAY. Then, when it’s happening, you can all join in on the same inside joke, mannnnn this is our BAD DAY. and then when it’s over, like late at the pub or the next morning over breakfast, everyone can laugh at the BAD DAY and be so happy and grateful that it’s over. Has helped us on numerous trips – only on the BAD DAY are the kids super whiney and annoying, and meals don’t work out, and the baby doesn’t nap, line is too long at the store, and grandma is anxious to make it to the relatives’ house on time. Laughing at the BAD DAY and high-fiving once it’s over really eased all tension.

Kath, for the stolen bikes, look into if your homeowners/renters insurance might cover them! We had a bike stolen on a road trip and were able to get some money from renters insurance.

Oh my gosh Elizabeth I love the BAD DAY tip and will defo be using that this summer with my extended fam! Altho what if your BAD DAY is then superceded by a WORSE DAY ?! Haha love the idea. And Kath, yes, we’ve been there many times. Rare is a holiday where I’ve not cried out of frustration! What helps me is super low expectations and getting 15 mins breather to myself away from the fam and the fact in hindsight you’ll remember the rosy bits. Good luck x

You’re not the only one. Family of five with three kids, the oldest seven, youngest two, and we have yet to take a “vacation” that wasn’t either a long road trip to see family or a trip planned to a nice locale (beach, Santa Fe) by someone else who was kind enough to invite us. It’s horrible to say, but the most memorable moments of these trips have been pretty terrible. Laid low by altitude sickness in Santa Fe with a one-year-old who would not sleep? Check. “We could be miserable at home, but we are PAYING to be miserable here!” we said. Then last Thanksgiving, when we puked our guts out across Cedar Rapids, Iowa, thanks to a stomach bug that hit us sequentially over the course of a day or two and started when the then one-year-old barfed banana all over me in the front seat of the car while my husb. was inside a gas station. He still teases me about my complaint when the bug hit me en route to our hotel that there were no public trashcans in Cedar Rapids to throw bags of puke away into. Sometimes your low moments become the gel that bonds you closer. In time, in laughter! I guess you have to take your wins. I have had lovely trips–pre marriage/kids–with my parents, all of us grownups, overseas. So someday, I hope I will have that experience with my grown kids. In the meantime, Kath, I am so sorry about your bikes. I hope that it gets better . . .

You are not the only one. Trips can be hard, and can bring out the worst in people. I’ve started to wonder if traveling alone is the only true vacation. Wishing you a good recovery, respite, and some joy.

Oh yes i drove — the biggest thing is to know to drive in the far right lane *unless* you’re overtaking someone. It’s fun driving abroad and Italian drivers are fast!!

I rented a car in this region two summers ago and driving was a breeze! I am from NY so I am used to drivers with a “people to see, places to go” attitude. Italian drivers were a dream, comparatively. Also, it wasn’t too hard to rent an automatic shift.

I think Joanna’s tip is true of all of Europe…! That’s certainly the rule here in the UK here too.

My tips based on what I saw in NY & surrounding areas compared to European countries: 1) Many European countries are much stricter about speed limits than in the US. There are countries where going 5-10 miles above the speed limit will costs you loads of money. This varies by country with southern countries being generally more relaxed and northern being stricter. Also speed is often controlled by speed cameras, so in majority of cases you won’t be stopped by a car but you will get a separate letter with fine. In case of rental this is often handled by the rental company that add admin charges to each fine, so the costs can be in hundreds of dollars for a relatively minor speed violation. 2) A lot of countries have loads of roundabouts, some of them with signaling and some without. The priority might be a bit different across countries, especially if the roundabout also features tram crossing or other public transport routes. 3) Expect loads of pedestrian traffic in cities. A lot of them also has bicycles and scooters travelling on the same lane as cars. In the UK there are some types of pedestrian crossing which give pedestrians absolute priority – you need to stop and give way to anyone who wants to pass. Check the rules for other countries before you go.

10 years ago I bought a beautiful brown leather backpack in Montepulciano, it is just the perfect bag with all the right pockets. I’ll be so sad when it eventually falls to pieces, but still going strong for now.

Hunger games! :)

Both are linked in the post — they were great!

If you choose summer go to the country, beach or the mountains. The cities are really tough with the crowds and the heat.

Levanto! It is on the Liguirian Riviera. We have been there 5 times – twice as a couple, then with small kids, then with extended family, and last year with a 14 & 15 year old. At every age, Levanto has been perfect. It is small and safe, but busy with a mix of Italian and International tourists. It’s just lovely.

If you find yourself in Rome, rent bikes and go for a ride on the Appian Way! We LOVED this and it was so fun to get out of the city and see a bit of the countryside. Also, my daughter was telling me the other day that one of her most vivid memories in Rome is the joy she felt when we bought ice-cold diet cokes on the roof of St. Peter’s and sat drinking them while we listened to the bells and watched the sun set over Vatican City. So if you go to the Vatican, don’t miss the snack shop on the roof of the Basilica—haha!

I say go in March or whenever your kids’ spring break week is. While the weather is cooler, it is way less crowded and much easier to get around. My kids of similar ages loved Venice, Rome, and Pompeii

I’m not poor relatively speaking and I couldn’t afford this trip either. Very interested in learning how much people budget for vacations every year. We haven’t been able to afford one that takes a plane trip in years and even then we usually fly somewhere where we know people to save on air bb/hotel fees. I find even a low key vacation costs at least $5k just for a few days unless we go camping.

Hey Liz (and Meg)- Look into points travel. The free course from 10x travel changed my life. (Sounds spammy but it’s not). Or check out Travel Mom Squad. As long as you can competently manage your spending, it’s amazing.

I’ve been reading this blog for at least a decade and, same!!! I never feel bad I don’t have the same experiences. I love seeing a slice of a different life and I cheer for Jo & Co like I would my RL friends!

Meg – I love to travel, but I’m also on a budget. Some of my tips are: open a credit card that offers travel points (Chase Sapphire is a good, basic one) and use it for EVERYTHING. Treat it like a “delayed debit card,” aka, pay it off in full every month to avoid credit card debt/fees. Expedia (and similar sites) offer good bundle deals, especially if you aren’t super particular about where you’re going. You can usually get flight + hotel for the same cost as just the flight if you booked separately. I don’t go for sketchy hotels, but I’m not looking for luxury either. I like to explore, so where I stay doesn’t really need to be INCREDIBLE. If I want a nice airbnb/hang at the house vibe, I make it a friend trip so we can split costs and then we cook at the house to save $$. I am lucky to have friends and family all over the US and in Europe and I have zero shame in asking if I can stay with them. I usually cook dinner or breakfast a couple times as a thank you. Look for places off the beaten path, as they’re usually cheaper, and try to go somewhere with solid public transportation if you can to save on car rental costs. Citymapper is a great app for getting around major cities!!

Ischia is amazing

those sound so lovely! fwiw, we found lake Como a little less child-friendly because it’s a little more formal. I’ve never been to Sorrento, but I’ve heard amazing things!

Joy. Cinque Terre is wonderful

Go to Lago di Garda instead of Como! I went with my family when I was 19 (my siblings were all younger, the youngest was 11) and we loved it. My brother did a wind surfing lesson there and we saw the beautiful city of Verona.

I was in Italy last year with a 10-year-old only child! (We visited friends in Rome who have a son her age, then visited friends in Bologna with two kids around her age.) My tip is to go as early in the season as you can (it’s already hot in May!). We went to Florence and Bologna, Rome, and then Stromboli (my partner researches volcanos). Loved all of it, even the chaotic trains and ferries are now cherished stories. My favorite was Stromboli for just hanging out and swimming in the sea and eating simple food and hiking a volcano!

We just got back from Santa Margherita Ligure and I think I may like it more than the Amalfi Coast, which we’ve done 3 times (don’t hate me Amalfi lovers!). It’s not far from Milan, by train, and the lake district if you want to do that as well. We stayed at the Hotel Metropole with our 6 and 9 year olds and we all had a blast. The hotel has its own beach club and pool – and you can jump off rocks and drink negronis right in the sea. The walk to town/dinners is quick and easy, as is the ferry to Portofino and San Frutuosso (we ate at da Laura). I literally sobbed when it was time to leave. We also did Sanremo with our kids and they loved the pool at the Royal Hotel. Both/either would be easy to add onto a Lake Garda or Como trip! Buon viaggio!

Seconding Cinque Terre, easy to get to big cities for sightseeing, and the landscape is just stunning. Always have to throw in Bologna as well which is my favourite city ever.

We’ve done both Lake Como and Lake Iseo with our family and friends, and I would recommend Lake Iseo if you are looking for a more chill vibe. It’s just as beautiful but more quaint and less touristy.

Was in Sorrento last month it was magical, such a lovely, vibrant city. Great food, shopping & easy ferry access to much of the stunning amalfi coast.

For our family trip this summer, I was super overwhelmed so I ended up consulting with Danielle Oteri (www.danielleoteri.com). She helped us find some less-touristed areas where they treated our kids like family.

Look into Abruzzo (next door to Lazio). It has everything, beaches, national park, mountains, lakes. Of course, I’m biased as my parents are from there.

I’ve visited Lake Iseo twice over the last 6 months, the first time stayed in Iseo, the second time in Riva di Solto. Both are lovely, but Riva di Solto can’t be beat. It is stunning. Not overcrowded, the people are lovely, the food is amazing. You’re close to Bergamo, which is a must see in my opinion, and a train ride from Turin and Milan. I love the Northern Lakes area, highly recommend!

I’m with Maria on this one; Lake Garda or Lago de Garda is stunning! My sister and drove there from the Milan airport. Out hotel was right on the lake, stunning views, good food. Our concierge was amazing and told us about this refuge up on the mountain. There was a tiny church, farm animals and a gorgeous restaurant right on the cliff. The views were spectacular. We spent a couple of lovely days then drove through the veneto region, dropped our car at the airport and took the vaporetto into Venice. You should see the photos I took of the sunset! Bright orange, pick and purple against the beautiful towers. We loved Venice as well. We visited Murano to watch the glassblowing and also went the lesser known Burano. I had one of the best meals of my life at Il Gato Nero, a Michelin star restaurant overlooking the canal. I can always do Italy!

@JOY – our friends have done Lake Garda many times with kids and prefer it over Como. I haven’t been however my husband and I stayed in Sorrento two years ago at the height of summer and it was definitely less busy than the rest of the Amalfi Coast and on our first night there, walking the cobblestone streets into the main square, I promptly burst into tears. It was so beautiful! You will love it.

I felt completely covered up in my one-piece!

Same. I packed a one-piece on a trip to Italy and felt so conspicuous! Nobody else, regardless of age or size, was wearing a one-piece, and I felt ridiculous in it. We were all just out there enjoying the weather and the water, and what was I trying to hide? Never again.

Yes. When a group of us were swimming at the beach in Cefalu on Sicily it was super easy to pick out the American women by our one-piece suits.