How Would You Make Your Wedding Feel True to You?

The photos from Felina and Billy’s wedding are so festive and joyous! I can feel the wedding energy and fun through the photos. The wedding dress also is special and lovely!

I never liked the idea of my dad walking me down the aisle. I am not close with him, and I have always disliked the idea of someone “giving me away”. We are two adults making this choice for ourselves. So my husband and I walked down together! We did a first look earlier on and got all of our photos done. And when it was time to walk down the aisle, it was me and him hand in hand, starting our new life together. I would do it 100x times over

We had our first kiss on a street corner outside of the restaurant where we had our first date then decided to get married on that same street corner. My husband’s sister officiated the wedding surrounded by our immediate family. Then we had a catered reception in our loft apartment afterward. It was small, intimate, comfortable, and felt just like us. Another notable thing about us is that we didn’t get an engagement ring. I didn’t really care to have a diamond ring so we decided together not to do it. After seeing how every person asked to see the ring I kind of wish that I did get some type of ring just to make it less awkward when people asked. But, I never regretted not having a diamond ring.

I have been working as a Wedding Planner in the South of France and here are my favorite ideas for a wedding that truely represent you: – Don’t pick white for your dress. You want to get married in pink? Just do it! – Blend cultures. Don’t forget your background. And show it to the world. – Make your guests special. They are part of this moment. Write a special note for them (on the plancement board for example). A delicate attention that they will remember forever. – Ditch Pinterest, Instagram and all. Start with what you have in mind first. Then look for inspiration to accomodate what YOU want. Voilà. Enjoy!

We held our ceremony in a canyon in Texas, it was my dad’s favorite place on Earth (and where we scattered his ashes), it felt like he was there. We also had my musician uncle bring some bagpipers – it was really cool! Our wedding reception was held a few months later at my in-law’s pool. Complete with BBQ and tons of ice cream from our favorite local spot – neither of us are big fans of cake.

One thing that I knew was so important to me was having a venue where we didn’t have to leave. I just wanted the party to keep going and going…and it did! We were all in a hot tub at 4am, lol! People still say what a great night it was and that was ten years ago.

My husband and I got married, just the two of us, in a remote area in Arizona. We had the officiant, the photographer, and the 4WD Jeep driver. His dad and my mom had both already passed away and we have small families and didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so it was easier to hurt everyone’s feelings lol. It was amazing and I would not change a thing. We were able to be authentic and completely ourselves and not worry about another person the whole day. Since our wedding day, I have gone back to the area and hung out with our wedding photographer (Bonnie Miller if you are looking for the best pics of your life, lol) and she gave me one of her horses to ride and sent me off into the desert on my own (I am a lifelong equestrian so not as dangerous as it sounds). I recommend planned elopement to all my friends, save money, go on a great honeymoon or put it towards your future together. Weddings are temporary, love is forever. :) https://www.instagram.com/p/DHy3ZnWR9mL/?img_index=1

We had our wedding festivities “out of order” – and that was just right for us. First, our wedding day: just the two of us, at a family cabin, ceremony at the kitchen table. (Not even an officiant; got to the legal version at city hall later.) We’d written our own vows, and got to be as earnest as we wanted. The next night: “bachelor/ette parties”, each spending time with a few dear friends who had come into town for the occasion. Then the next was “rehearsal dinner” with my family and his. And finally, the next evening was the reception: some truly heartfelt toasts, dinner, and then lots of dancing! The whole thing was lots of DIY, from paper decorations by my best friend and her mom to dinner grilled by my grocery coworkers (thanks, John!) to dance party mix tapes by my husband. I am so grateful and honored for the way people showed up for us! It was unconventional, and just right! It was a long weekend of welcoming in ever wider circles of our community. And unspooling the elements over a few days gave them all space – the ceremony was intimate, the big party was rollicking, and I still treasure all of it 13 years later.

I am currently trying to debate what to do for my wedding as I don’t want a traditional ceremony and reception. Years ago I swear I remember a post on Cup of Jo about someone that did a little trip on a sailboat I thought around NYC with a very small group of people but can’t seem to find it anywhere. Does anyone else remember this?? Also, ideas welcome for alternatives to a traditional ceremony. We’re trying to save money for a home but would enjoy something sweet and special with less than 40 people.

We made many decisions for our wedding to be budget-conscious, but they ended up being charmingly DIY and artsy. Our ceremony was at a public park where passersby in paddle boats respectfully looked on, and the reception was at an Italian restaurant. I made my own fascinator/birdcage veil, my SIL hand-painted my ballet flats to look like Monet’s garden, and my BIL home-brewed a custom beer as our favors. Many family members baked cookies for our cookie table of favors, as a nod to my hometown of Pittsburgh. We batch-made a signature cocktail and sculpted our own cake toppers, a little frog bride and groom to sit atop our cake decorated like water lilies with buttercream. But the best part was the dancing – we met in a dance ensemble in college, so our officiant was the faculty chair from the group who incorporated a group dance at the end. We wrote our own vows and choreographed our first dance, a waltz which I messed up due to not rehearsing enough. But that set the stage for a humid (June in NC) dance party that lasted all night! Ten years later and I wouldn’t change a thing :)

I come from a long line of funeral directors and after my mom threw a family reunion at her cousin’s funeral home (which was a gorgeous historic building) when I was 18, she told me that’s where I should have my wedding. Ten years later, we did just that. We really leaned into the “Til death do us part” theme, including on the invite and skeletons in wedding clothes holding hands as the cake topper. My husband and I are not very formal people — so the theme, the pig roast, the unexpected location — made the entire day casual and wonderful. I used to roll my eyes when people said your wedding day was the best day of your life but I was so wrong — it really was.

We had the most fun wedding last Labor Day. No decor, flowers from TJs, & I wore chacos all day. We had 40 adults & 20 kids, so we wanted everything to feel special for them. My best friends from college played live bluegrass (look up The Petersens, trust me) & we had friends read scripture throughout. Instead of ring pillows, i had a craft night with my nephews where they made their own pennants. We added googly eyes & ninja turtles & jingle bells & they swung those down the aisle. It was incredible! It was really important that I wasn’t “given away” by my parents (I’m 33 & have been independent for a long time), so I had my best friends/bridesmaids pass my husband’s ring up to me when it was time. It was just a simple nod of them giving their stamp of approval. We also rented kayaks (yes, i kayaked in my wedding dress) & a 5th grader recently told us our wedding was “so fun”. That’s all the praise i need 😂 Our wedding was both traditional & also VERY unique to us. I wouldn’t change a thing!

We found pictures of us with each of our wedding guests and used these as their cards to indicate which table they would sit at for dinner. It was a natural conversation starter for people – our photographer caught many moments of people delighting in the pictures together. But more importantly, it was one way we could show our guests how we cherished them in our life. After all, they were at our wedding because we love them!

I got married 4 months after getting engaged — because my mind was way more consumed with BABIES! But somehow we managed to plan a wedding for a little over 80 people with a ceremony in Brooklyn Bridge Park (the permit office was nuts, but I was persistent) and a reception at a local brewery with arcade games. The brewery detail was very representative of my husband, who was the first man who got me to like beer by figuring out that I should be drinking sours. And for me, we gave away our favorite NYC books as favors and I had napkins made with my favorite quotations from RomComs. We had our favorite neighborhood donuts for dessert — which represented both of us. And we found out we were pregnant one week after the wedding :)

We got married when our daughter was 17 months old. On one hand, we wanted a ‘proper’ wedding because it felt like the first (and possibly only!) time our translatlantic respective families would be together, and also after asking people to fly 8-10 hours we felt like they deserved a proper shindig. But equally, we were on a very tight budget. We ended up having our ceremony at a bombed out, deconsecrated London chapel and our reception at a proper London boozer of a pub. Hired a gin bike to make cocktails after the ceremony, made popcorn, pretzels etc to give out in bags rather than having canapés, and plied our guests with fizz while playing London bus bingo on the way across the cities between venues. I made 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies, we had an iPod playlist instead of a DJ, and honestly there’s not a huge amount I would change, looking back!

We had a small ceremony and reception with our immediate family members and a couple friends at our favorite restaurant in Austin (if you are local, check it out–Lenoir!). My favorite part was sitting around a large dining table in the their private event space and getting to make eye contact with everyone–it was intimate and perfect. For the place settings I printed polaroids with photos of us with our guests. My husband is British and one of my favorite inherited traditions is the christmas cracker at the holidays so of course I had to recreate this for our wedding. I found someone on Etsy that made custom crackers and we stuffed them with all the traditional bits: paper crowns, jokes, and toys. Our photographer captured the moment we cracked them open perfectly–the joy on all our faces! It makes me emotional just to remember it all :)

I’d say our wedding was *mostly* us but with a few big concessions. My husband and I got married in the morning and had a brunch reception, which fit us both in our love of going for brunch. Our ceremony was what would now be considered large (although 180 people in 2018 wasn’t wild) and it was done in the church we still attend each week. If I could make changes, I’d change my dress since I let my mother’s body image issues about thinness dissuade me from the one I really wanted. I’d also make a seating chart (leaving it open didn’t go well) and just find a way to extend the time on things because the time we had truly wasn’t enough for all the time I wanted to celebrate with everyone.

We had a casino party as part of our reception. A company brought the tables and the “dealers.” Everyone was given a bucket of chips and could get more whenever they wanted. We had blackjack, craps, and roulette tables going. The food was all appetizers and desserts and drinks. Music was going too, and once we wound down the gambling, the dj taught everyone a bunch of line dances and we had regular dancing too. It was the best night. To this day, everyone tells us it was the best reception they have ever been to!

We got married in 2020, on our front porch with masks on (for our officiant) and a Zoom audience. We tried to involve people over Zoom, like having my sister play a violin piece and my mother-in-law doing a reading. I don’t regret that we didn’t wait (it was such a stressful time and being married sooner not later felt important) but it still makes me feel a little sad sometimes that we didn’t really get to celebrate with people.

We had a Philly block party wedding! We thought we were being very clever, but it is such a popular thing to do that there is a special provision on the city’s block party permit form for you to check! We had to get the signatures of all our neighbors and pay $25. We had a cheesesteak truck, my aunts made special sides and my bridesmaid Lana made 100 tiny apple pies instead of cake! My husband and I don’t enjoy dancing so we just had things like cornhole and foursquare for entertainment. We had friends bring lawn chairs to sit around and hang out in. There were kids and some friends brought their new puppy. We were broke and creative and it was my favorite day. Lana of Pie fame and epic feats of friendship has a really cute shop everyone should check out called Hoste in Seattle. https://shophoste.com

We had a fairly traditional wedding structure-wise, but the most personal, most us thing we did was include our people wherever possible. Our officiant was my husband’s step-father (a pastor in the faith tradition my husband grew up with), our photographer was a friend, friends and family provided the speakers and mikes and amps we needed for music, a graphic designer friend did all our programs and table tents and place cards, and my sibling-in-law (a former hairstylist) did my hair and make-up. We simplified as much as we could for having a fairly large wedding (minimal decor, no favors, a location that handled ceremony, reception, food, drinks, cake, and clean-up), but despite the logistical complications of coordinating with other people, I will never regret accepting their help. It made the day feel so much more special.

We got married in 2003 at a movie theater in Tribeca. My husband was/still is an editor and we put together wedding scenes from our favorite films (from The Princess Bride to Muppets Take Manhattan) and filmed fake trailers and had trivia slides for the audience before the screening. For the “ceremony” we spliced together a church scene from an old Charlie Chaplin film and said “I do” to the screen. This obviously wasn’t legal so we had to go to elsewhere to get married by a friend ordained by the Universal Life Church. The movie theater closed (The Screening Room) and so did the bakery that did our wedding cake shortly after, which I thought was a bad omen, but we’re still married!

What beautiful comments in this post! While my wedding did not have any stand out uniqueness, I will say we did everything the way we wanted. It was truly our day. 50 people, appetizers at our favourite coffee shop instead of a sit down dinner, no booze, but lots of love. We had LOTS of opinions during the planning but we stuck to our guns and let me tell you, I loved that day and looking back over ten years ago now, I would not have changed a thing. At the end of the day, whether it the two of you or 200 people, you wear black, white or rainbows, you’re still just getting married. So have fun with it all!

My husband and I got married in Iceland just the two of us in a remote gorge that literally had to be hiked to or helicoptered in. We had live music (necessary for my husband), it was remote and private (necessary for me) a priest and a catered picnic with amazing food and scotch. (this is key to us) After we hiked a bit and then spent some time at a lagoon. (However, do not be fooled we hiked in a designer gown and bespoke suit, nature needs some glam) It was perfection. We then wandered around Iceland which I have gone to for over 20 years and where my husband had never been until our wedding. Then Italy for honeymoon, it was perfection, it was very us. Parts of my family are a nightmare and it would not have made any part of our day fun to include them and honestly not having them was the best decision we could have made, for anyone who is wondering if you will miss difficult family at your wedding, you really, really won’t! You may be grateful to have a memory that is just perfect for yourself! Our children are older and wanted to share the day so we had a party when we got home with them! (Controversial decision for some but perfect for our family that is happily blended!) With our friends we had dinner “receptions” for the next year and were really able to chat and see people we care about. It was a magical day and that is in part because we respected the fact that it was actually for us and nobody else. (Obviously for other people this may not be true so this is not a good plan for everyone! :) )

My wedding to the love of my life was him and I at City Hall in San Francisco. He hired a student from the San Francisco Music Conservatory to play As Time Goes By from Casablanca before our ceremony. It was perfection. Just the two of us and the retired Judge. We had an early dinner at a Michelin Star restaurant. Everything about this day was for us and perfection. It was a second marriage for both of us. We both did the big weddings before. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am a big fan of small weddings, own vows, unusual settings and lots of happiness. Marriage can be hard but weddings should be joyful. As for bossy mothers: you had your day, so back off. They are grown-ups now.

I got married 6 weeks ago! A few of my favorite things from my wedding: -Walking down the aisle to some of our favorite (and very non-traditional) music. I walked down the aisle to “King of my Heart” by Taylor Swift with the doors opening at the *exact* right moment. We recessed to Forrest Frank’s “Never Get Use to This”. Pure joy! -I had ceramic figurines of our pets made to use as cake toppers. We also had a giant layered/tiered cookie cake as our secondary cake. It was a huge hit! -Our favorite wood fired pizza place brought their mobile pizza oven and catered. Looking forward to going to the restaurant to reminisce for years to come. -Candy salad bar with all of our favorite gummy/fruity/sour treats. It was completely gone before cocktail hour was over. -Chips & salsa & creamy jalapeño dip from Chuy’s as our late night snack. If you’ve been to Chuy’s, you know. <3 -a 38 Ford as our getaway car. It looked just like my husband’s grandfather’s car. -Cowboy boots for the reception that I got branded at Tecovas with my new initials and our wedding date.

My husband and I are currently organizing our own DIY wedding party (1.5y post-actual wedding) in my parents’ backyard. Pro : it’s both our favorite place in the world, right by the sea ; con : I’m finding it very stressful to organize and am feeling quite overwhelmed with ~ expectations ~. However, there’s one thing i’m sure about : my parents’ area is know for this kind of crepe-pancake hybrid that’s found nowhere else in the world. It’s prepared on a “bilig” (traditional cast iron crepe maker) so we’ve decided that’s what we’ll do for dessert and i’m absurdly excited to be making pancakes in my wedding dress at 11PM some time in the near future, lmao.

I’m getting married soon in a morning ceremony and lunch reception with less than 80 people. I don’t enjoy dancing so we won’t have a dance floor. I’m considering ideas like a few main speeches or having everyone share advice/story/etc for max 1min or choose to pass, but also don’t want to over do it on the speeches. I would love to hear other ideas!

My husband and I got married at the end of a very long line of friends weddings over 3 years and tbh we were so bored of weddings by then. Don’t get me wrong, we always have a blast but I was going to weddings that cost $200k+ and nothing felt that different or memorable (other than the setting being beautiful, of course). We were working with a much smaller budget and knew we wanted something that felt like us. We love hanging out with friends but dancing on a dance floor is not our thing. We lived in NYC at the time, so we ended up doing a garden wedding at Frankies (of Cup of Jo fame – I found it through this blog!) with long tables of 90 guests, eating the most delicious, family style Italian food. No dancing, but after a few hours, we all headed to the Hoxton Hotel in Williamsburg, where we hosted a “house party” in their event space called The Apartment, which looked like a mid-century modern home. We had late night bites, music, beer pong, flip cup, and a mentalist walking around blowing everyone’s minds (Ryan Oakes, also found on Cup of Jo, ha!). It felt exactly like us and people to this day still tell me my wedding was their favorite they’ve been to. It was a total blast.

We threw the Lirrem & Nostrebor Allied Family Circus Wedding. It was a massive circus party with a klezmer band (the Moody Jews), tons of games, corn dog and taco trucks, a trapeze and tightrope, giant revolving wedding cake toss, kissing booth, etc. Everybody was in costume as circus characters: we had an elephant bartender, a fortune teller, a bearded lady, clowns and many, many ringleaders. My favorite part might have been the Toast n’Roast the night before. Friends and family were tasked with getting up on stage and either roasting us, or toasting us. We laughed and cried for hours.

For our wedding, we basically just hired a great caterer and an officiant (aside from a few small details I put together by hand). On the morning of the wedding, my mom and I bought flowers from a grocery store to decorate with. That was pretty much it and it was amazing! I think our relaxed attitude towards the whole thing was felt but the guests and made for a super fun, carefree wedding. I really think a stripped down affair without all the frills and fuss allows people to relax and just celebrate the couple’s love. (But good food is a must! We wanted our guests to feel celebrated, too, so we did that through food).

My husband and I got married in December, about a week before Christmas. All we wanted was for our wedding to feel like a giant party – and it did! Our inspiration for the entire thing was the description of the Fezziwig’s Christmas ball in A Christmas Carol – joyous dancing, delicious food, and plenty of love to go around. Our caterer served food family style at the tables (wine-braised chicken! Mashed potatoes! Feast foods!), and dessert was apple pie from my favorite local pie bakery. It was perfect for us :)

My husband and I got married after many years together; I was 55, he was 64. We had both been married and divorced. We were good friends with another couple in our rural area in the same situation, same general age range, same feelings about getting married for logistical reasons more than anything else as we knew we were in it for the end run. All 4 of us got married together at the city hall in Portland and then went to our favorite restaurant and then stayed overnight at a nice hotel. No fuss, just good friends and a great dinner. An unexpected plus is that we never remember our anniversary but our friends always do! It apparently takes a village……

These ceremonies are so sweet! Love the touches and toasts, so precious. Unfortunately my wedding is “for the family” and my mom (a dictator) is organising everything. Less stress for us, but it’s really not our day nor does it really represent us anymore…so we decided to do our own separate wedding pizza party at our favorite spot to reclaim some of the vibes back!

There is a 3-mile country road in my hometown where I’ve always loved to run, with a church camp about halfway. I don’t have any connection to the camp, but that road is so, so special to me – so we had a run/walk with our guests on the morning of the wedding, served breakfast treats and coffee after the run, and then we all decorated the camp for our wedding that afternoon! The wedding was at the camp’s outdoor chapel on the most picturesque-perfect fall day and it was simple, beautiful, and personal- it was very reflective of us. There is a lot of weird pressure around weddings to do things a certain way, and I feel proud of the choices we made to have a day that felt authentic to who we are.

My partner and I also got married in Portland, OR, and our wedding was less traditional than my family was used to! We started from our values and made our wedding decisions based on that. We’re both pretty committed environmentalists, and it was cool to make decisions based on what was best for the planet. Instead of hiring a florist, we went to Sauvie Island and picked whichever flowers were in season with our families and close friends the day before the wedding. Dahlias happened to be in bloom, and they were so beautiful! My cousin made the bouquet! We also had a seasonal cake: strawberry rhubarb. And a mostly vegan dinner. The only bummer was that the dinner portions were quite small –– I wish I could re-do that part. All of our wedding venues were accessible on public transit (we went from the ceremony to a park to an art gallery in the Pearl District) –– and there was a break in the middle of the afternoon for people to have lunch at the farmers’ market if they chose. I loved it all so much, and it was a beautiful reflection of how we hoped to live our lives. 12 years later, we still make decisions like that, and I love our life.

i love it when the food is really personal to the couple, especially if it’s in a homestyle kind of way. one wedding we went to in new orleans had a buffet of food that i think was catered by more than one of their favorite eateries (the bride was from louisiana). it was all unique to the area, to die for, and way more memorable than the usual wedding fare. instead of a fancy, flowery layered wedding cake, our wedding had a simple cake from my favorite small-town childhood bakery (just a lot of it). the wedding waitstaff said they had never seen every single slice of wedding cake eaten at any event before..made me so happy.

As homos, the very most “us” thing we could do for our wedding (planned in four days!) was to get married at 8:45amPST on the morning of the inauguration in January 2017 while President Obama was still President, before the unspeakable took place. It was forever unforgettable.

Personal touches are what make a wedding! My recent wedding was all about being true to us. We love camping and the outdoors, so we rented out a summer camp in the redwoods and most of our guests stayed on site in little cabins. We made merit badge bingo cards and merit badges for guests to participate in games (we are big fans of Taskmaster), group activities (hikes! a flora and fauna scavenger hunt! friendship bracelets!), and helping with wedding set up tasks. The bingo winner got to sign our marriage certificate as a witness! We skipped cake and instead had personal pizookies (warm cookies baked in a deep dish, topped with ice cream) because my husband and I would meet up at a restaurant that served them in the early days of dating.

No bridal party, no guests, no reception, no stress! Neither my husband nor I were interested in being the center of attention for a big wedding ceremony in front of a bunch of people, so it was just us, the officiant, and the photographer. It was perfect for us and we planned the whole thing in less than 2 months and paid less than $1,000 and we are just as married without the stress of a big wedding!

I was very stressed about wedding planning. My mom finally said “What could we do to make this less stressful for you? I’m open to anything at this point.” And I said “We could rent llamas.” We ended up renting two llamas for $150. They were the highlight of the wedding! You can’t take yourself too seriously when you’re gazing into the eyes of a llama.

I wore a J. Crew (very me) boatneck (very me) wedding dress to which I had sleeves (very me) added. The cut and design were simple – no lace! – and it felt so good to be true to myself in my dress choice, since the options can be so overwhelming! The main thing my husband and I did to make our wedding *our own* was how we involved our family and friends musically. We had very beloved musicians perform special music during the ceremony, and we asked my husband’s long-time piano teacher and mentor to play cocktail music during the entire reception. We asked our friends and family to prepare songs for us that they would sing in the reception, and it was perfect. (We are all very, very musical!) But before all that, as soon as we walked into the reception, we walked straight to the piano and microphone and I sang him “Love You I Do” while he accompanied me. We followed that with Barbra Streisand’s “Evergreen” as a duet, then our best friend and trio- mate joined us for our own arrangement of “Over the Rainbow.” Each of these songs has a special meaning to us, and I know no one here knows me — but I can’t tell you how US this was. We felt so supported and loved the whole time. And our guests enjoyed the concert!

We both wore red. Our families walked up the aisle, then we met at the back and walked up together. No one stood with us at the front of the crowd. The words that a minister might say were shared by us and others; the ceremony was written in a book, and at the bottom of each page it reminded you who to pass it to next. The friend performing the legal role of minister stood at the moment when they needed to say the legally required words, plus an additional line of our own. We hired a caterer to make skewers, my sister made the cake, and otherwise it was a potluck in a park. We set everything up ourselves with friends, for which I wore jean shorts and a red tank top. We switched to nicer outfits for meeting our guests, and when we decided it was time for the ceremony we went and changed in a tent into our fancies. Friends DJ’d. We served our own drinks. We did the cleanup ourselves, too. A friend took some photographs. We just had one shot of each side of the family. There were no recordings; what was said was said, and it was heard if it was heard. This was 1999, before the modern madness, which seems to be an internet-induded thing. The only thing I’ve never seen before or since is the part where we stood alone at the front of the crowd without our legal officiant. We wanted to be alone-together and an officiant felt like unnecessary triangulation. We had only been to a couple of weddings and just did what felt right to us. Do what feels right to you! It’s your sacred moment.

We incorporated our families into the menu, with my aunts and cousins making appetizers (I’ll forever cherish the memory of all my aunts and cousins rolling spring rolls the morning of our wedding), and my mother-in-law busting out her most epic baking (cookies, brownies) for the desserts table. We had a tea ceremony the day before the reception, so our families got to meet each other before the big day, and our karaoke cocktail hour loosened people up real good. Instead of numbering tables, we named tables after significant places and things in our life (e.g. Broccoli Slaw, the food I made during one of our first picnic dates). It was a happy day!

Ten years ago, my husband and I eloped in Big Sur. The day before our ceremony, we chose a spot on the cliffs and sent the coordinates to our officiant. Our only guests were our parents, two best friends, and photographer, all who knew each other well. The morning of our wedding, we all went out to breakfast, walked on the beach in Carmel, and then went our separate ways to get ready for a sunset ceremony. After the ceremony, my husband and I spent time together on the cliffs, just the two of us. We met everyone for dinner in the cellar of a tiny Italian restaurant, the room filled with candlesticks, setting the tone for the most intimate meal. We ended the night sitting by the fireplace, full and relaxed. The entire day/weekend was the most honest reflection of us as a couple, and if I could re-live it a million times over, I would.

Weddings are insane right? But to me they are awesome – all they really are at the core (to me) is two people saying I LOVE YOU and hoping that everyone in attendance will listen to your promise, and help us stay true to our path. Maybe the relationship won’t last, but at that moment I would hope the love felt infinite. I had other friends use the same celebrant as we did, and a few years later we were so embarrassed when as part of the ceremony he started to talk about how we were the couple most in love that he’d ever wed, and how he hoped this couple would know half of what we had! OH MY GOODNESS, we were embarrassed, but in a way it is true, we love each other more today, after twenty years of marriage and another ten on top before, then we did thirty years ago. Love grows – weddings and indeed marriage isn’t about a dress or a type of cake – it’s that wonderful piece of paper that says you love each other. I think when you remember that you can’ help but make a wedding that reflects who you are together. One of my oldest friends (who incidentally had a gorgeous wedding at Cambridge uni where she met her husband, her gown was like a princess and she looks like a movie star) said “oh on hindsight, I could have let anyone pick my dress, my flowers, the food… all that I remember is the beauty of our vows”. I wasn’t sure I really believed her, but then when I wed I realised she was absolutely right. We are both still married, and hers has survived 4 kids which I imagine is no small thing.

I literally just finished my wedding speech for my best friends wedding TOMORROW. As we live in opposite ends of our country I haven’t been able to be a big part of the preparations, but I flew in a day early (or two to be exact) to be able to help out on the day before. The wedding is completely DIY, budget and simple. The entire dessert table is a mix of cakes and cookies baked by friends and family, all the decorations were borrowed and bought by friends and we all put it together today (day before) which was such a nice way of helping and hanging out at the same time. It will be simple, beautiful and absolutely PERFECT!

My husband and I had two weddings: One in Brooklyn and another in Malaysia (where my family is from). For our Brooklyn wedding, my mom hand-sewed Malaysian batik textiles into table runners, so we could have a bit of Malaysia with us in NYC. We also had a smaller Chinese tea ceremony (I’m Malaysian-Chinese) during the wedding ceremony and danced to the hora (my husband is Jewish). A few relatives of mine flew in from Malaysia to attend the wedding — imagine their surprise when they saw us getting lifted up by chairs!

I’m so happy to see Jess Buckley’s photos here! That wedding with the orange backdrop was one of my faves she’s shot. She’s on my short list of PNW photographers. As a wedding planner that specializes in intimate weddings, I tell couples to get off TikTok and Pinterest and focus on what is true to them. With smaller celebrations, you can still have the ‘luxury’ item you might be wanting without breaking the bank – like a pricier photographer or multi course meal. I have two clients right now whose weddings couldn’t be more different but both reflect what’s important to them. One will be a stoop wedding in the PNW on the front porch of their new-to-them home, a cutie stucco Spanish bungalow, with their favorite chef from their neighborhood restaurant cooking steaks in the backyard! The other wedding is destination to Hawaii for total food nuts who wanted to share hyper local cuisine with their besties – so we’re renting a Balinese style oceanfront house with an open fire cooking concept with ample local seafood (very experiential). Neither budget is massive. Both are fifty or under. Both very bespoke. For us, we wanted a killer dance floor! Enter an all-girl eight piece Motown cover band. Shooting my shot – if this sounds enticing to folks planning their nuptials, I’m happy to be a consult! Altarmicroweddings.com

We did a 3 in1 wedding. 50 people to a small *quick* ceremony in a hotel penthouse. Dinner a block over for the same 50. Then, 250 people to a rented nightclub for live music and a wicked party. It was Thanksgiving Sunday, and we handed out turkey sandwiches at midnight!

We had our wedding at a cute little bed and breakfast in our favorite mountain town, where we got engaged and spent many weekends together. Instead of table numbers, we named each table after a local animal, and I drew little cartoons of each animal as a wedding guest to be a part of the centerpiece. We wanted as little tradition wedding elements as possible – no wedding party, a super short ceremony, and then it was time to hang out. Our recession song was “No Children” by the Mountain Goats, which I chose because I love the song and thought it would be really funny to play right after we got married. My aunt was not amused.

We eloped, and that’s just us. That my immediate family decided to join us was very much typical for my family, in the best way. I wouldn’t change a thing. And as many posts here have said, the person I married and what we experienced in the past and will (hopefully) weather in the future is what ultimately counts.

Does anyone in the comments have experience using AirBnb or VRBO (or anything else!) to find a place for a backyard wedding? Our family members don’t live here (Seattle) and all of our friends live in apartments without backyards, but I would love to have a lowkey backyard wedding with guaranteed privacy that you might not get at a park.

We simplified our wedding plans when I got pregnant a month after we got engaged, and had a very low-key day at a tiny British pub and B&B in Muir Beach, just outside of San Francisco. Every scrap of wood, stone, and furniture at The Pelican Inn was imported from England, and we loved the vibe so much all we added was candles, fresh eucalyptus, and wildflowers on the tables inside. It was a (miraculously) sunny day in June, and two of our closest friends officiated on the front lawn under the tree decorated with rice paper lanters we bought in Chinatown. The aisle was made of small terra cotta pots stuffed packages of flower seeds and wrapped in tulle, which were also the guest favors, and our 75 guests stood for the extremely short ceremony. Dinner bangers & mash, dessert was brownies, and we were all in bed by midnight! Twenty three years later, I look back on the day fondly, and can honestly say it was representative of us, and our way of doing things. I lobbied hard to elope but my husband really wanted a ceremony, and now I’m so glad that we have this sweet inn revisit, relive our special day at, and to take our kids to.

There were so many things that we did out of financial prudence that ended up being exactly right for our personalities. My husband worked school years as a special ed teacher and summers as an adventure camp leader for a small town on MA’s South Shore, so we got a permit for a little park he took the kids to on rainy days because of a big permanent pavilion. My good friend did just accordion music for the ceremony. Instead of cake, we opted for donuts from the shop that he would take his campers to at the end of the summer. We only had a photographer for the the ceremony but had a QR code for folks to upload pictures from the reception, and I treasure the grainy video of when my dad spontaneously swept me away to “Dancing in the Moonlight” since we’d skipped a traditional father/daughter dance for a Whole Family Boogie.

My husband and I met in college at UPenn and so our alma mater was the loose theme for our wedding. Our college colors were our wedding colors and I named the tables after buildings on campus. Our sweetheart table was College Hall, the main admissions building, and all of our college friends were at the Sweeten Alumni House table. It was a fun touch that only I probably noticed, but it tickled me. You can pick up buttons on campus that say “I met my husband at Penn” and “I met my wife at Penn,” and we brought them as props; our photographer wound up photographing them in my bouquet!

One of my favorite parts of our wedding that made it “our” wedding was the vast support from friends and family in making it happen (particularly as someone who tends to try do all the things on her own!) Since we got married in a different state than we live, we relied on friends who were there to help! For instance, one friend received seeds and followed instructions to get them germinated so there’d be greenery available for the tables! My mom & sister cut out all the paper shapes for the decorations and brought them on their flights to the huge craft-fest we had the week leading up to the wedding! Cousins took my hastily drawn thoughts on the table centerpieces and made them even more beautiful than I imagined while I got my hair & makeup done. My sister’s boyfriend took our playlist and created a video playlist that we played during the dance time (no DJ) – it was SO fun seeing all the music videos of our favorite songs while dancing! And there was so much more. 10 years later and I still tear up when I think of all love and support from everyone that day Our unique-and-totally-us moment was the “unity” ceremony where we did some *science* which we obvs had to do since we’re both scientists :) Some photos are available here: https://www.zola.com/inspiration/wedding/festive-colorful-fete-in-portland

Planning a tiny breakfast wedding. We love coffee and our friend/master barista who runs a coffee pop-up is bringing the brew!

We had a Sunday morning brunch wedding and it was wonderful! I would choose to do a morning wedding a million times over

i should have had a mariachi band. love their music but everyone said ewwww and i was swayed.

We grew up together near the most beautiful canyon that feels more holy than any church I’ve ever been in. There’s a cove of towering spruce trees at the top with a little icy cold mountain creek running nearby. Only after we decided to get married there did my mom remind me that she and my dad had met at that exact spot some 35 years before when a mutual friend hosted a picnic that no one else showed up to.

This is such a lovely post! I have to know, what is in Eillie’s basket?! It looks like the cake!

We live in a little village of 120 people in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia, in a 300-year-old house. We got married last October in our backyard by the creek with 30 people, mostly family, with our neighbors playing music, the mayor officiating, and cake and catering also from neighbors. Afterwards we made smores by the bonfire and everybody was in bed by 10pm (probably the way the wedding was most like us, lol). We had breakfast sandwiches the next morning in our home for anybody who was stopping by on the way out. It felt meaningful, personal, was heavy on the local community, and also, most importantly, did NOT feel overwhelming to plan or be at. It was really a joy. I think about all the people who may have gotten married in that yard in the last few hundred years and feel deeply grateful to be part that continuing chain.

We had a taco bar and cupcakes at our wedding. We are not fancy food people and wanted something recognizable. We also made raspberry jam and jelly as favors. One of my aunts passed away the year we got married and raspberry jam was her thing. We even managed to get berries from her patch. There is still a jar left somewhere in our basement – I can’t bring myself to toss it.

The thing I was most nervous about leading up to our wedding was combining our two cultures. My husband and his family are all white and have lived in New England for centuries, and my family is made up of South Asian immigrants. We were getting married in outdoors, at a cidery near where we live in Maine, and while I loved our venue I just could not envision how to translate the big Hindu weddings I grew up attending to a much more intimate, outdoor ceremony and reception in a barn. But somehow, it just worked. One of my favorite parts is that I had my mom and aunties all bring old saris and we decorated the barn with them. The venue staff said it was the most beautiful they’ve ever seen their barn look! (Although I’m sure they say that to everyone). I just felt so loved and honored by my family, who did not understand my choice to live in Maine and have our wedding there, but who showed up and supported me anyway. And I loved getting to see my husband’s family experience all of that.

After our ceremony, we snuck away for 15 quiet minutes, just the two of us with no one else around. It ended up being my favorite part of the entire day. In those few moments alone, everything felt calm and real. It was a powerful reminder of what the day was truly about, the choice we made to become a family. That meant putting us first. We try to carry that with us throughout our marriage, reminding ourselves that we are a team. It is easy to forget sometimes, but I always come back to those 15 minutes together and remember the promise we made.

I got married in New Orleans, my hometown, in October 2006, and our whole bridal party came down 5 days early to help gut a Katrina-flooded home that had belonged to a local jazz musician. Tyvek and sledgehammers, baby! Truly one of the sweetest memories.

So much about our wedding felt like this! In addition to some of the usual suspects, like vows and music, food and dessert choices, our outfits, etc., one of my favorite decisions (that absurdly felt “controversial” when we were putting together our vendors) was having an early afternoon ceremony and reception, followed by a NAP BREAK, and then a post-dinner after party with ample bar snacks. People commented that it felt very us to keep the schedule focused on our guests and their comfort. Most people were here from out of town, so in that down time, guests did everything from booking dinner from a list of favorite restaurants we provided to hiking a mountain. And my favorite wedding day photo is one our neighbor snapped of us on our front porch in between the reception and the after party! She even got the photo same day printed and framed at CVS and gifted it to us the next day.

My husband and I got married at a Brooklyn neighborhood restaurant (Jo’s favorite – Frankies 457!) on a brisk but stunningly sunny fall day. Our photographer “picked us up” at our apartment in Boerum Hill and we ended up walking the full mile+ to the restaurant, stopping to take pictures at all of our “spots” along the way – the dive bar on our corner, outside the bookstore where we had our first date, even our grocery store where she captured a hilarious but romantic picture of us kissing by a chaotic hodge podge of fruits and vegetables. We hadn’t intended to walk all the way to the restaurant – especially not in my 4-inch heels! – but it happened naturally and before we knew it, we were walking into the venue alongside some of our dearest family and friends. The photos turned out 100x better than we ever could have imagined (photo bombs from food cart vendors! joyous faces of old ladies walking down the street! a selfie with a former colleague we ran into in front of her apartment!) and truly capture the spirit of our beloved neighborhood where we fell in love and hope to never leave!