What Are Some Small Good Things in Your Life Right Now?
Last night, I went out for pasta with my Soup Group, and my friend Gisela snapped these photos as I started telling a story. I was so grateful she captured a moment laughing with friends and want to remember to snap more candid photos of loved ones this year.
We had a few posts ready for today, but none of them seemed quite right. It’s hard to know what to say when so much is happening in and around our lives, and the news is so consuming. To take a deep breath together, I’d love to ask you: what are the good things you’re holding close?
I would say: chatting with my beautiful boys at bedtime; texting with my niece, who is an elite finder of cat gifs; reading The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny, an epic 700-page novel about two sprawling Indian families; stretching out in bed at night and feeling so comfy in cool sheets; and walking on sunny winter days, which feel like a pick-me-up.
Please tell me below. And if you’re struggling to find the good right now, I hear you. Sending so much love your way, as always.
P.S. 11 simple pleasures, and what non-flashy things do you love?
Comments
181 comments1. Recently, instead of being annoyed by my dog’s kisses first thing in the morning, I’ve felt loved by them. It’s like her way of saying, “Wake up, Mommy! The sun is out.” 2. There’s something about that first sip of cold coffee on a rushed commute, the chilliness of it still manages to keep me warm. 3. Lately, I tend to sit in the living room of my newly (barely furnished) home, and this potent peace rushes over me. 4. And lastly, those “meaningless” not-so-funny conversations with strangers in passing. They keep me human.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=11VAVf48-UA Learning about The Balance Project with chapters across the country.
– getting back into reading. Currently reading and loving The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman. (Book 2 of the Practical Magic Series) – organic strawberry 🍓 white tea from Tampa,FL at one of my favorite tea places – heated neck wrap – my cute mini Loungefly backpack with Sanrio and Carebears
I’ve been struggling at work and at home an all around. I am 46 and just got diagnosed with autism and adhd. Explains a lot. I’m grateful for my kind psychiatrist, my loving wife, my heating pad and weighted blanket combo, my dogs, and the Calm app’s sleep stories about train voyages of yore.
I am feeling depressed today. I had some blood tests done early this week that confirmed a much-longed-for pregnancy!! Then yesterday, I found that I was bleeding. The emergency ultrasound showed nothing conclusive, so now all I can do is wait. And today I give God thanks for these small, good things: – A cozy morning watching Cinderella with my daughter, who stayed home sick from school today (and is just who I needed home with me) – The snow that fell perfectly and gently while I sulked on the couch, showing provision and comfort in my sorrow – Leftover soup for lunch with cozy toasted bread – The most comfortable cotton pajamas from J. Crew that I can wear as long as I want to today – The most supportive and comforting husband, who gently hugs me and says, “It’s okay to feel this way today. Don’t do too much around the house. This won’t last.”
Thinking of you while you wait, Amber. I have been in exactly your position more than once and can confirm that while it is an agonising wait, it won’t last. I hope when you get your answer it is a good one, but know that many of us are out there thinking of you in any outcome.
Amber, just checking in almost a week later to say that I bet a bunch of Cup of Jo readers are still holding you in their hearts. I’ve dealt with my own scary pregnancy ultrasounds, and I know the feeling all too well. Giant hugs to you, however it’s going. Hang in there.
A few good small things: My son (8) slips his hand into mind each day as we cross the street at school pick up. It’s always toasty warm. I’m doing a “sketchbook challenge”, following along with an artist I follow on Instagram. It feels good to make something! I’ve been growing out my greys and my daughter told me she thinks my hair is “low key slay”. Costco rotisserie chicken. What an MVP!
Can you please tell me the name of the artist you follow. I am also interested
Char, I am also following an artist on Instagram and FB…Andrea Nelson! She does watercolor painting! Haven’t started her sketchbook challenge yet but have been saving all her demo paintings! It looks so fun and relaxing!
It’s so simple and strangely luxurious: a boiled apple for dessert. I discovered this winter treat at the end of last year; it’s incredible soothing, and has felt like a real cozy treat on cold nights. Real hyge vibes with this one. Details: Cut one apple into small pieces. Boil it in water and let it gently simmer for about five minutes. Drink the warm water and eat the soft pieces. I discovered this via @yourtcmguide on instagram.
I’ve been doing this this winter too! I put a little cinnamon on top of the boiled apples. It’s super soothing.
I was going to say, this sounds like a great Chinese medicine nourishing treat. Then I read to your last sentence – yes! I like a steamed pear too, if you want to switch it up.
I need to try this. I am allergic to apples unless they are cooked. I usually have to wait until I bake an apple pie to enjoy apples. What a great idea. Thanks
My college roommate (heeeey, Edawg) taught me about it sautéed apples. Slice thinly, throw in a pan with melted butter, sprinkle cinnamon, and then let them cook for about 5 minutes till they’re soft. Emily’s mom did this for her and her brothers growing up. I now make this at my house for any meal with my three kids.
I use a sliced lemon half and nob of fresh ginger root. Very soothing. And a Touch of honey if my throat is sore.
Mine are: 1) I finally found a place to buy Genmaicha green tea, my favorite kind, in the city where I live. 2) Lately im really enjoying taking a hot bath late at night, right before I go to bed, and reading a good book. 3) I recently discovered a new-to-me running trail near where I live, and have been so happy to have some quiet time in the woods on my runs.
Genmaicha! Seriously the best–so glad you found a place!
I just started drinking Genmaicha again too! Years ago my colleague and dear friend told me the brands to buy. Here in San Francisco we have Japantown with a wonderful grocery. Another friend and I went to dinner at a favorite ramen place and then we shopped at the market. I forgot how delicious and soothing this tea is!
Digging out fire hydrants and storm drains! Juneau, AK! The capital of the state has had a WILD December/January with crazy amounts of snowfall, and this is one tiny thing that I can do to keep my community safe while between jobs. I look forward to putting on my hat/headlamp and reflective wear and keeping the hydrants and drains open to the fire department. It has saved one apartment from burning entirely and has brought this to this to the attention of other community members who are doing the same.
Wow, I never thought of this. I live in a snowy place and there definitely seem to be more fires in the winter as people try to keep themselves warm by any means. What a great thing you are doing and modeling.
❤️
Blaise, you are so cool! Thank you for doing this. Reading about it filled my heart with hope and the reminder that we all have an innate drive to do good. Thank you for focusing on that at a time when you could (rightfully) be despairing and stressing out at home. I hope you find a job soon (or that this becomes one!)
Love this! Doing what you can for your community is so important. Keep going!
Wow, love this!!
The small good things are many – This week I enjoyed a decades long tradition of having a morning visit with a dear friend. I can still feel the sweetness of the holidays and more family time. Finished my first knitting project in over 14 years this week! And I’m a newly retired preK teacher. This is my first winter and I’m floundering a bit. I lost a dear friend a week ago and Trump and no solid routine is activating my tendency toward depression and stagnation. Are there enough retired folks here to do a piece on managing this transition?
I don’t know the answer to that, but if you’d like to connect with my recently retired (4th grade teacher) colleague in Berkeley, CA I can see if she’d be up for some chats on the subject.
That transition (plus losing a friend plus Trump plus winter) sounds really tough. Hugs. I am nowhere near retired but recently laid off and have been trying to give my days structure. I don’t know if it would work for you, but exercise or a walk followed by journaling or reading in the morning sets my day up in a way I am less likely to spiral into depression. Scheduling activities and meet ups with friends throughout the week also helps.
I’m technically retired although that wasn’t exactly the plan. I took my SS early at 62 because I honestly wasn’t sure it would still exist ( this was during all the crazy Musk dismantling). I joined the gym for swim class, have a trainer twice a week, make sure I have regular dates with friends and recently joined Lasagna Love as my volunteer activity. I’m a single cat lady and really enjoy my alone , but realized that I do need to socialize for my menTal health regularly.
I also wanted say. Mariah , am so sorry for your loss. I’m in San Francisco and I have a friend that teaching writing workshops on Grief ( among other topics) I wonder if that’s something that may help you and if there is one in your area. Sending hugs
My sewing club meets once a month, and last night, it was my turn to host. My seven-year-old daughter got to stay up and have dinner with us, and then we set up the sewing machine she got for Christmas. It was so beautiful to watch my friends dote on her and help her sew her first stitches. Her delight in being included radiated from her all night.
I just spent a day in DC with friends lobbying in the Senate with an amazing group called March Fourth – http://www.wemarchfourth.org – a national non-partisan non-profit with a singular focus on ending mass shootings. This was my third lobbying trip and they have all been incredibly empowering, motivating, and fun! I love that my friends and I have made lobbying a “hobby” and encourage everyone to consider joining March Fourth or another group that aligns with your interests to go to DC and make your voices heard! We had the chance to meet with several high-level senate staffers yesterday and they all confirmed that calls/letters/emails to your senators are incredibly impactful since it all has to be tallied and consistency is key to keeping these issues top of mind for our members of congress. With everything going on in our country and world today, it’s easy to feel helpless and voiceless so having a meaningful way to take action is important and necessary.
Thank you for sharing about this group! I love knowing about its existence. Thank you for the “lobby hobby” you’re doing. I’m inspired!
I wanted to leave a message of what are the small good things in my life… but I can’t. I wondered if I should even leave this message because it might bring others down. I decided I would, however, because perhaps there is another person out there, like me, who is trying, trying so very hard, to notice the small good things. I have a small things journal. Every day I try to write down 3 things, even when it feels impossible. For the last 2 days, I have been unable to do so. Because it feels to forced to be real. I know I have things to be grateful for – friends, beloved dogs, a home, a job, some family members I can turn to. However, too many tragedies have happened in my life over the last two years. I am going on. My life is unrecognizable. I am unrecognizable. I have tried to do all of the things people say you should do in times like these. I have done many of them. But today, right now, I can’t see the small good things. They are lost in the heartbreak and worry for my future. If someone else is out there feeling this way, you are not alone. I send you my love and hope for better days for you and for me.
Sweet Kerry you are not alone! I am sorry you are feeling this way. I have walked a similar path at times in my life. It is so hard when you are in such a dark place. It feels like the light will never come. Pardon my unsolicited advice, but I want to say try to focus on life one minute at a time. Brush your teeth, drink water…do the little things to care for your body. Once that feels doable, move on to marginally larger activities: take a small walk in the sunshine, make yourself something to eat that is comforting. You see the progression. The only way I have made it from the depths of despair to the light is putting one foot in front of the other and focusing only on the day at hand. It’s a slow process but I know you can get there. Sending you love and light from NM!
Kerry – I have also been in such a very dark and overwhelming place – and without tragedy. It is not a weakness to feel as you do. It took strength for you to share your truth with us. For me, it took medication to make a change that allowed me to slowly move forward. It’s a good thing that you cognitively recognize the goodness in your life. A good, big thing. Rebecca shared some very good advice and I second it. One moment at a time, one step at a time. I’ll add that making contact with professionals who know how to support those moments and steps can make a difference. Thank you for sharing and acknowledging your pain and fears. Shedding light on the dark places helps. With empathy and love from WV
Kerry please reach out to a reliable friend or health care provider and share this.
I have been there, where everything feels impossible. 3 Good Things: -Hand on your chest: heart beating -Lungs breathing in a slow deep breath -The sun that came up again this morning
This podcast episode might be helpful to listen to, if you’re up for it, Kerry: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-bounce-back-from-lifes-curveballs-with-dr-maya-shankar She also has another episode about MLK called something like “Creatively Maladjusted” that really helped me when I was in the depths of despair. Just make sure to skip through all the ads. The ads are dystopian, but the content is very life-affirming to me. Of course, please disregard if this doesn’t feel helpful, but please know that many of us have felt like you are feeling now. I certainly have, and I know in those moments, trying to practice gratitude has sometimes helped and sometimes made feel like I am “bad” and “ungrateful” and like I didn’t deserve the good things in my life if I couldn’t be grateful for them in that moment. What helped me was focusing on very basic basics: figuring out how to sleep well, eat enough, fulfill my fundamental responsibilities, bow out of the rest, and get through the day. Eventually, the feeling passed. I heard a song and smiled at its beauty. I hope you are able to feel that kind of awe soon. For me, it was a sign that the clouds were lifting.
dear Kerry! Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you’re really in the thick of a heavy and difficult moment in time. I offer you this poem, a favorite of mine, in hopes that it may lighten your breath, if only for an instant: https://onbeing.org/poetry/everything-is-waiting-for-you/
I want to say thank you to everyone who left a comment for me here. Such kindness, and wisdom. And also vulnerability, for some of you who shared that you have been here too. Your suggestions, insight, and care towards me, a stranger – this was something beautiful that happened for me this week. It meant a lot. You are lovely human beings to take time to leave a meaningful note to someone you do not know. Thank you all.
Watching Stranger Things with my 13 yo daughter. We just got watched the season 4 episode where the “Running Up That Hill” song plays… WOW, we both were blown away. After YEARS of reading aloud to them (which I loved), I’m enjoying connecting with my teens by watching great tv together.
I walk my second-grade daughter two blocks to and from school each day, sometimes much to her very independent chagrin, but all the teachers and principals standing outside tell her hi and bye by name, even though she maintains a strict “do not make eye contact with anyone who says her name” policy. Teachers and principals out there . . . I love you. Thank you.
4 This quote (author unknown): “the world is heartbreaking every day and the world is beautiful every day and we have to pay attention to both”
love this
Beautifully said! ❤️
1 I am also reading The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny : ) 2 Riding my bike. Every time I push myself out the door when it’s cold or windy, I come home feeling like a kid, with a grin on my face, rosy cheeks, and a fresh perspective. 3 My cat. Henri will be 18 this year and I am soaking up every day of our love.
Take so many pictures of sweet Henri! Sleeping, eating, playing, with you, without you, lying in a sunny spot, mundane things. You’ll cherish them forever. ❤️
This year I have a new year’s resolution to get out of my routine and comfort zone. I’ve started small by going to a local museum, farmers market and I took a new to me yoga class. I’m also trying a new lip balm (I’m totally addicted to Carmex and I might be ready to change). I’m hoping to build myself up to a point where I can go on a solo trip. These little wins are really adding up and I’m feeling excited about how I can build some more confidence this year.
Hi Jackie — I retired the end of June and went on a 9-week solo cross country road trip and loved every minute. I saw lots of friends/family but was alone in my car and drove through 28 states and over 12,500 miles. I spent 3 1/2 weeks solo in europe over Christmas (seeing a few friends). I hope you find yourself on a solo adventure this year seeing the world and making lots of memories.
Some hard things are happening in my life right now and I’m grateful for my group of girlfriends. I can really shoot from the hip and we all accept each other without having to edit anything out. And we laugh! Plus I’ve discovered that I have psychic abilities and I’m working on expanding them. Who knows where this will lead. Pretty exciting!
Damn, I’d like a follow up on the psychic abilities someday! Sounds fun, and I love how you shared that. I was once at a retreat center and got to sit in on an evening session being held by a different group concurrently. It was about How to Become a Psychic Detective and was totally fascinating to witness.
How did you learn you had psychic abilities? And what are you doing to work on them? Fascinated!
I made a pallet and slept on the floor of my little boys’ room last night and it was so fun to wake up to their astonishment that I was there!
Heated Rivalry! Beyond being such a sweet story and having a wonderfully talented cast (especially how much Hudson and Connor can convey with just a look, the portrayal of the women on the show, etc.), it also gives me hope that a story like this can find mass appeal, even with everything going on in the U.S. right now.
Thankful, always, for all the fabulous book recommendations on Cup of Jo + comments! But today, most grateful that after over 20 years in Michigan, I feel like I’ve finally nailed the perfect outfit for walking the dog in the freezing cold snow! Key must-have features (for me): Insulated Hunter Chelsea boots w/ Darn Tough socks (and Stabilicers if it’s really icy). Fleece-lined leggings. Giant fleece scarf. Wool hat. Long Uniqlo lightweight puffer coat. And a new headlamp for evenings!
In the other room I can hear my husband on a call with customer service somewhere, and it reminds me of one of my favorite quirks of his. He answers calls with “Oh, hi” or “Oh, hello” ALWAYS. Even if he is the one placing the call and when the person answers he always sounds surprised to be on the call “Oh! hi!” Kills me every time.
That is too, too cute. I suppose you’ve never pointed it out to him?
Omg my husband does the same thing! I thought he was the only one ;)
This reminds me of a silly children’s song my 3 kids (ages 2,4,&6) have been singing on repeat the last few days – Oh Hey Oh Hi Hello by Jim Gill It’s been a joy to hear their little voices singing “oh hey oh hi hello” over and over again while trying to pull out of the seasonal/current situation depression feelings.
This is so sweet!
A funny story: Yesterday my mom (70) was watching an Instagram video before going to run errands. She closed out the app and left to shop. A while later, she gets home and my sister, from another room, comes out and is like, “Mom what is that noise?” There’s a song blasting from my mom’s purse. Turns out that the Instagram video my mom was watching had not closed out, and was in fact playing at full volume, on repeat, for the entirety of her errands. My mom is Deaf so she didn’t know, although she did say people were staring at her a lot. The Instagram post in question? It was from a progressive political account and featured the chorus of the song, “Arrest the President” by Ice Cube. She had that blasting on repeat at Target. The universe has a great sense of protest and humor? That’s what I’m holding on to. (story shared with her permission!)
I love this story!! I hope the fellow Target shoppers were nodding in solidarity!
hahahaha I love it. Go Mom!
What a great story! :)
BEST story I’ve heard in a long time!!! GO MOM!!!!
Just came across this and I can’t remember the last time I actually cried with laughter: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTIRMQaEkI2/?igsh=MXA1c3Vrd205MnpsZA==
Audiobooks on Libby and Hoopla. I just finished John Adams on Libby. Now I am listening to a historical fiction book in French on Hoopla.
I highly recommend the audiobook The Art of Small Talk by Casey Rose Wilson and Jessica St. Clair. It’s hilarious and so fun and light in these dark, dark times.
Thanks Mollie!! I just borrowed it :)
Presently crafting for Mardi Gras – so while the rest of the world is heavy and dark, there are sheets of parchment paper each holding different shades of glitter spread across my dining room table right now. Thank God.
Laissez les bons temps rouler! 💜💛💚
A tickle fest with my 5 y old at bedtime. A cuddle fest with the same 5 y old and a capybara stuffy called Frank. So much laughter. So much joy. Priceless moments we get to enjoy in our little bubble.
Our new tiny dog! We have been considering getting a dog for good two years before finally taking the plunge. I must admit that I expected it being so hard. But guess what, it´s not! She (Bubu) is a rescue dog, chihuahua mix and is just the sweetest little thing. She fit in so seamlessly! Feels like she ´s been with us since forever.
My chihuahua mix has been with me for the past five years and he brings so much joy to my life everyday. I’m so happy for you and Bubu!
Oh my gosh me too!! I got my chihuahua mix rescue a year ago. He’s now 13 and the light of my life 🩵
I have two chihuahua mix rescue dogs after spending most of my life firmly anti-dog. I love them. They’re the best :)
It is lovely to read all of these comments, but it also feels somehow disheartening because I realize how much I need it. The world seems so low and base now. Reading about good things—the smaller and more personal the better—blocks the rest from my brain for a few minutes at least. I appreciate my soon-to-be 14 yo son. I love seeing him walk that line between big baby and real life person of his own. He can go back and forth across that divide in a single sentence! I love that he challenges me and (only occasionally!) calls bs on me in a way no one ever has in my life, and because it’s him, I can take it without offense, both reflecting on my own behavior and being SO PROUD of him. I watch my 10 yo struggle in school in a way he never has, which is tough. The rage and frustration when school is suddenly not super easy! But I see that he listens to us (once the rage has passed) and is working to improve his behavior. I see small steps, and I see his careful effort. And I see my 6 yo blossoming in kindergarten. I see her embracing everything: the challenges, the social issues, the learning. She walks the world with this beautiful innocence and openness; I wish I could have even a bit of that. But it’s lovely to watch. And my dog. My soul-animal against whom all future dogs will be measured. She is the joy of every day (and slightly uncomfortable night).
LKB, I have tears in my eyes–you sound like SUCH an incredible person; I strongly sense you truly SEE your children for who they are as people and relish them as humans. What a lovely gift that is for them–and clearly for you too. Sending light your way!
My kid is in early elementary school and is currently home sick. Time is fleeting but there are moments like this that remind me they are still little for a bit longer. While watching spidey and his Amazing friends the villains kept calling it villiantines day which made me chuckle. My kid, “it’s not funny!!! They are ruining all the fun!!!”
My college-age son came down with mono this week, and is home for one more week on break. Boy I’m happy to get care of him and binge a few shows. It doesn’t change when your big kid gets sick
Excuse me, no link to an elite cat gif?????? I must see one! Plz share, thx!
My bulldog’s room-shaking snores, playing a great (possibly obscure) word game Probe with my nieces, talking to my 3-yr-old grandson on the phone when he suddenly says, “would you like to talk to Mama?,” and making a family dinner before watching almost anything on MUBi or the Criterion Collection
The things my 3yo says and asks. Like: “mama when your water breaks, won’t the baby just fall out?” and “when your water breaks, will there be a puddle I can jump in?” Feeling my second baby kick and nudge me. Sitting in the snow with my family. We just sat in the snow doing nothing but being today while it snowed on us and it was so peaceful. My every other day matcha. I did not do caffeine with my first pregnancy but I wake up so excited for this treat and limit it to a few times a week. Tomorrow is a matcha day!
My 15 year old daughter has picked up the sport I used to do when I was her age. It has been so fun sharing our love for the event.
My husband and I are currently listening to the Dungeon Crawler Carl audiobook and it’s SUCH a delight. Absolutely hilarious and gripping. Also, my two 5 month old kittens are a joy, as is the Great British Baking Show.
I am two months in to my Dungeon Crawler Carl era and I am so happy to see it grace this comment section!!
I’m on book 3 and something about the dark humor and gore is really speaking to me right now! I’m flying thru them. Shoutout to my library for having copies of the whole series, keeping me fed and my wallet safe! <3
Planning my first trip to Montreal in February! I love trip planning, making maps, looking for ideas and recommendations that both my husband and I and our 4 year old will enjoy.
Went to Montreal last summer (with a group that included multiple 4 year olds) and everyone from the babies to adults loved the Biodome! The other museums in Olympic Park looked fun too. Botanical garden was gorgeous in summer and I bet has lovely greenhouses or other winter-friendly spaces. Very kid-friendly city, we loved Montreal!
Go to Iconoglace! Yummmmm I miss it :)
1) Still basking in the glow of getting to see and hang out with my adult daughters over the holidays. I love what great people they are! 2) Kissing our grandcat on her head-she lives with us now that our youngest is living abroad for a bit. She’s waiting at the door when we get home and that’s so cozy. 3) Planning a spring vacation with my husband who works all kinds of crazy hours. Time spent together exploring a new place is so energizing to our marriage. 4) Watching the new season of All Creatures Great and Small on PBS, Sunday nights. That show has been a balm for 5 years now and we could binge on PBS Passport but choose to look forward to it once a week.
so many comments already, but it’s as though i’ve been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question: my soul saviors right now are all the celebs taking risks being vulnerable, human and kind. VIPs acting like well-raised, considerate, mannered, good folks. you and the cup of jo community. amy poehler’s good hang. julia roberts’ sweet, real persona — patient, joyful, funny. i love the current media and celebrity backlash against everything else going on right now, of ditching hate and snark in favor of heart. it’s giving me hope. ps i’m sure we’ve all noticed f’s absence in recent posts. but it’s none of our business.
Without question, my greatest (not-so)silly joy is savoring the “Lonely Island & Seth Meyers podcast” every Tuesday morning. If you are, were, or might be a fan of Saturday Night Live or comedy, or playful banter, it’s a must-listen. Must start from the beginning to pick up on their joyful inside jokes and the heartwarming love between four straight, married with children men (who end each episode with “I love you guys”).
His netflix special is one of my comfort watches…will probably love this, thx
Quaid Army!
Righteous kill! There are truly no words for the joy this podcast brings me, it is keeping me afloat in a world on fire. My husband and I get SO EXCITED every Monday night, knowing there will be a new episode in the morning!
My 2.5yo’s burgeoning imagination and humor. Her mischievous smile and ebullient hugs and kisses. The way her eyes light up when she sees me come in from work and her first croaky “mama” of the morning. My husband’s wry humor and tender morning back rubs. The very first flutters of baby kicks against my hand. My dog’s warm, bald belly and soft, velvety ears. Her deep sighs and gruff exhalations as she acknowledges being pet and cuddled. The prospect of Spring blooms and working towards a beautiful and lush garden in the midst of lawns for miles. Proactively trying to build new relationships and friendships in a new city despite the bleakness of winter and temptation to hunker down. I’m proud of my perseverance.
1. I love these! So many sensory descriptions. 2. As someone who moved north from further south (but not The South), please know hunkering and hibernation is real. Sometimes I don’t see neighbors for months during the cold, dark winter. Once spring hits, we all start to come out and socialize more. That’s not to say you can’t find new friends! I bet you are already rocking it. But if it seems particularly hard, know that social lives thaw along with the weather (and also that Northerners are polite but not as outgoing with new people if you moved that direction), and please don’t take it personally/let it discourage you. But this random stranger is proud of your perseverance, too.
My two beautiful cats, and their being particularly snuggly in the colder weather. Yoga (the spirit is in bad shape y’all but the flesh will carry). Daily journaling. Daily yogurt and granola. Making RPDR and dinner with a friend a weekly habit. Volunteering for Postcards to Voters, both for the impact and for an excuse to be artistic and use my stationery supplies. Calling my reps and senators and telling them to impeach Noem and abolish ICE (special shout out to my representative’s office, where a very nice lady actually answers the phone to take messages). Videos from my SIL of my baby nephew in MN really enjoying the books we got him. Texts from my SIL discussing plans to keep the family safe. Reading everyone’s answers here.
My 19 month old is still the worst sleeper and I’m exhasuted, but he is so sweet and happy and hast he best, biggest, toothy smile. Our early mornings together are something I’m cherishing. Also, keeping twinkle lights up in the house are giving me life in these early, dark mornings.
I’ve been listening to the silliest music whenever I can. I can’t find Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to comfort watch anywhere, but I have the soundtracks on repeat and Flight of the Conchords.
You can still find my crazy ex girlfriend songs on YouTube!
Love crazy exgf. Don’t be a lawyer is a favorite
Looking forward this weekend to celebrating my son’s 20th birthday- the last of my teenagers. We are going out for sliders and I have been asked to bake a citrus cake. If anyone has suggestions/recipes for a “citrus cake”, please comment, haha.
Silver Spoon Puglia Soft Orange Cake https://www.roseandivyjournal.com/stories/2018/1/2/cook-the-book-the-silver-spoon-puglia
I’ve made this one from Deb, it’s soooo good! https://smittenkitchen.com/2016/01/blood-orange-almond-and-ricotta-cake/
This one is beautiful and delicious: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1014488-upside-down-blood-orange-cake This one is also delicious and intensely lemony: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/lemon-cake-recipe-1913110 And this one is super decadent if you add the ganache:https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/nigella-lawsons-chocolate-orange-cake/
I love making this one – it’s easy peasy and makes the house smell delicious, and it’s so good! https://www.nigella.com/recipes/clementine-cake
I love the lemon olive oil cake recipe in the Snacking Cakes cookbook! It’s a family favorite! https://www.apt2bbakingco.com/snacking-cakes
Smitten kitchens grapefruit cake :) also great w lemon!
Alison Roman’s lemon turmeric cake! Simple and very lemony. https://www.alisoneroman.com/recipes/lemony-turmeric-tea-cake/
I make Smitten Kitchen’s Grapefruit Yogurt Cake for my mom’s January birthday: https://smittenkitchen.com/2007/01/grapefruit-yogurt-cake/ It’s easy and very “bright” tasting!
Ooh! There are a bunch out there, but if you’re overwhelmed about it, you can make a basic white cake, poke holes in it with a toothpick while it’s still warm, and pour store bought lemon curd over it so it soaks in. (You might want to warm up the curd in the microwave before you do this.) Top it with a vanilla buttercream (you can whip the store bought stuff into a nice fluffy texture), and drizzle a lemon icing on top of that. You can make lemon icing by slowly adding lemon juice to powdered sugar until the consistency seems right. If you don’t want to do that, you can get citrus candy (like lemon heads or those orange slice gummies? Maybe even sour patch kids) and chop or smash it up to sprinkle on top. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy!
Olive oil cake! https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/citrus-olive-oil-cake-recipe/
A friend made me this cake for my birthday party and even though I’m gf, several guests asked for the recipe after! Congratulations on your youngest’s 20th birthday!!! https://www.recipetineats.com/flourless-orange-cake/
Here’s a lemon cake, https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/lemon-cake/ And a clementine cake! https://www.nigella.com/recipes/clementine-cake
I’m not sure if this is what he’s looking for, but I really like this! https://smittenkitchen.com/2007/01/grapefruit-yogurt-cake/
Clementine cake from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
I see two people mentioned Smitten Kitchens grapefruit yogurt cake. I just made one yesterday, but I used key limes from a friends tree. It’s very versatile, easy and delicious! With a double glaze!
I signed up for a book club at a local bookstore and am taking a crochet class through my county parks and rec. Next season, I’d like to do sign language and chair yoga. Gives me something in general to lock forward too and to meet people (which is hard as an adult after moving). Also looking up walking clubs.
The world is so heavy right now and so the most natural thing to do was keep my 2-year-old son home from daycare yesterday so we could play and bask in the sunshine together. Sadly, I can’t remember when we last had one on one time together between the holidays and big sis always with us. Hearing “mama” 100 times in a day was soul giving.
Maybe not a small thing, but I just ADORE my little toddler. He is 1.5 and such a delight – we won the lottery with his temperament and personality. So often recently I find myself thinking that *this* is what life is about – the little moments with my son and together with our triangle family. And to think I was on the fence about ever becoming a mom!
I love this so much — I feel exactly the same way!
I feel the same way!!
I feel this!! I have a 5 yo son and a 2 yo daughter and they are SO much fun!!
Refreshing and beautifying my workspace for the new year, which included painting my word of the year (‘Forward’) in bright colors and glitter paint and writing up my More/Less list and tacking those both up on the corkboard at my desk. Also, doing really well with my morning routine (getting up much earlier than usual to write and exercise) so far and hoping to keep it up!
Love this! Do tell about the more/less list!
It’s my 41st birthday and I made cupcakes to bring to work like they’re treats for the rest of my 4th grade class. (They’re gluten-free yellow cake with chocolate icing, as God and nature intended.) I got a bunch of well wishes in the group chats this morning and I’m about to go get a cup of coffee to enjoy with my cupcake. As someone who used to genuinely hate myself, I’m just happy to be here, gang, and happy to have accepted that I get to be celebrated, too.
Happy birthday, Amanda! I hope you continue to celebrate yourself and take note of small joys that help sustain us some days. (And yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting is a good one!)
Happy birthday, Amanda!! I’m glad you’re here, too.
Happy birthday Amanda! I hope it is your best year yet!
I’m glad you’re here, too, Amanda :) I looooove this idea of turning “I need to work on my birthday” into “I get to bring cupcakes to class.” That was always the best feeling, and now I can’t wait to try it.
Happy happy birthday, Amanda! Wishing you peace and joy in this next year of life.
The beautiful connection between my friend’s 7th grade son and my 1st grade son. The 7th grader and his mom drove 45 minutes to attend my son’s school concert on a weeknight and it was just the absolute sweetest thing seeing how excited they were to see each other (quietly for the big kid, ecstatically from the stage for the little). It means so much for little kids when big kids care about them and it’s just everything we need more of in the world.
Went to a “moms’ night” last night, and instead of chatty and light, it was heavy. One mom shared her terror that ICE may pick up her husband, who’s a green card holder; another has already battled cancer while parenting a toddler. But this morning I laced up my shoes as usual and am choosing just to feel awed by these brave-ass women taking care of their families and themselves through it all. We can do this.
Girl scout cookies for sale, a new candle burning for the new year, my 2 kids (3,5) dancing to KPOP together, bright, sunny, cold mornings
I just had a baby after having a miscarriage a year ago. Although it’s my third (and final) baby we’re adding to our family, friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, showed up in the kindest ways. From grocery drop-offs to meal trains to gifts, even just small texts throughout the day checking in, it reminded me that people are inherently good and kind. It meant the world to me.
Love these beautiful pictures of you! ❤️ Agreed, candids are the best!
After white knuckling it through pretty intense CPTSD flashbacks the last two years I finally decided to start on an SSRI. I feel proud that I was able to tune out the stigma and judgemental voices in many of my circles to make a decision for me to get the foundational support I need. After trying to conceive for the last year, my husband and I also learned we’ll need to pursue IVF to have a family. Rather than sad, I also feel relief to have answers to those endless negative pregnancy tests. I know it’s a long and winding road ahead, but I’m feeling grateful for modern medicine this week and for the two bunches of flowers my husband bought me: one fresh for “now” and one dried, “forever”.
I’m proud of you! It took me 34 years to start an SSRI, and now I wonder, truly, what took me so long. I hope everything goes well for you, including with IVF.
Sending so much love and solidarity – healing from trauma and living with CPTSD is like a full time job morning and night. We can and we will.
It feels like cheating to say spending time with my two Great Pyrenees mixes, Autumn and Shea. But I literally say to them multiple times a day “I’m so glad you’re here.” I work from home, so I am with them pretty much 24/7. My husband and I have a nighttime ritual of watching a cozy, nothing-upsetting-happens TV shows, usually QI on britbox or lately, the Australian show Fisk. Making the bed with clean sheets each week, especially now that I found new with tags linen duvet covers by Quince on Postmark and scored 100% cotton flannel blankets at HomeGoods. It feels so nice to climb into bed. Finally, being able to call my mom for the tiniest reasons. She left me with my abusive dad to start a new family when I was 7 and then in my 30s I finally felt mad at her about it and went years without speaking to her. But we reconnected 11 years ago and now have a good mother/daughter friendship. We are actually going to London together for 10 days at the beginning of March! She usually goes a couple times a year to visit my little sister (half-sister), but I haven’t been to Europe in over 20 years! This trip is just going to be the two of us and I am so excited. We are going to see my favorite painter’s exhibition (Romy Elliott) and take a side trip to Stow-on-the-Wold to go antiquing. On that note, I would love some help with carry-on only packing from COJ’s fashionable, travel-savvy readers! Joanna goes in the summer usually, I think, so I’m not sure if her packing lists will work for a March trip!
Hi Kelly! I am literally on the plane home from a 12-day trip to London as I write this! I did not do a carry on but can report on what I wore the most from what I did bring (YMMV of course): 2 jeans 1 pair of comfier/cozier pants 2 cashmere sweaters 1 sweatshirt 1 dress 1 tank top 2 t shirts 1 button down denim shirt 1 coat 1 pair of running shoes 1 pair of kitten heel boots (for dinners out) Lots of jewelry to accessorize! Hope this helps :) have a great trip!
I hope your trip is lovely. I hate a capsule wardrobe trip packing list, FWIW. Instead, I pack three outfits I love and wear all the time. What makes me feel good anytime I put it on? Am I sad if it’s in the laundry? Pack it! Add two to three things that act as extra layers for different weather (an extra cardigan, tank top, long sleeve shirt, whatever). Pack a cozy outfit for lounging or travel and maybe it doubles as jammies. Two to three pairs of shoes. Boom. Done.
wow, Kelly G, I am so impressed with your story and maturity! (I say this as someone currently struggling to forgive her own mother)
One thing keeping me ??? in my grief over losing my Dad over the holidays – my 2:00 Fountain drink of Diet Coke. So dumb but it’s comforting. I normally don’t let myself have it daily but right now it’s the only thing in my day I look forward to. :)
Jennifer, I’m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. Sometimes, in the hardest moments, the littlest things bring comfort. And a fountain Diet Coke with that crushed ice — chef’s kiss. Years ago, my mom and I started calling fountain Diet Cokes “homemade sodas” — I’ll raise my homemade soda today to you and your Dad. Sending big love, xxoo.
I am so, so sorry, Jennifer. Hugs and big glug of your drink to get you through.
Sending lots of love Jennifer <3
Sending love! Definitely have that Diet Coke when you want it right now. Find comfort where you can!
I decided that one of my goals for 2026 is to “have so many hobbies I can’t keep track of them all.” So I’m having fun, not just trying new things, but identifying things I already love as “hobbies”: Painting, organizing all the things, NYT puzzles, reading, tracking and planning my reading life, hunting for spring flowers, etc, etc. The goal is to ensure that no matter how much or how little energy or time I have, there is a beloved hobby I can reach for. Last year I decided I wanted to shake up my music, so I’ve been working my way through Rolling Stones’ top 500 albums of all time. I’m keeping a tracker list with rankings (because organizing is one of my hobbies!) and plan to make a bunch of playlists. I’m about 175 albums in and have found so much new-to-me, or rediscovered music! At the moment: “Reach Out” by the Four Tops. It’s even better than you remember!!
Wow, I love the idea of organizing as a hobby because that’s definitely one of mine!! A few years ago my mom got me a mug that sayd “oh, this calls for a spreadsheet.” Also love the idea of listening to all these albums – what a fun way to discover music.
I love the idea of listening to the Top 500 Albums so much. In fact, I’m picking it up for myself! In telling a friend about it, I said it’s something just for fun. I can’t monetize it, I’m not going to build a career on it. It’s pure fun that I don’t have to think too hard about (just look at the list and push play), can do it almost anywhere and will learn something in the process. I’m so excited!
Watching the sweet little Black Eyed Juncos forage around in the grass and seeds outside my kitchen window.
I’m writing from the middle of the Atlantic, in the Azores (yes, Cup of Jo reaches all the way here!), and I just wanted to share how meaningful this space is to me. I’ve been a devoted reader since 2011, and opening the blog every day feels like a comforting ritual and a small joy in itself. Right now, I’m grateful for the simple goodness of island life — quiet mornings with coffee, the ever-present ocean, fresh air, and moments of connection and kindness. Cup of Jo has been part of my daily life for so many years, and it always brings that warm, heart-hug feeling. Thank you for being here…
Ooh, Paulah – do you live there, or are you visiting? The Azores are at the top of my travel wish list.
You painted such a beautiful picture here Paulah. My shoulders softened and I breathed a little deeper while reading it.
I can always count on you for a reset. So thoughtful. Xx
Playing tooth fairy – which I grumble about being the sole executor of, but then I sprinkle glitter around my daughter’s little “tooth catcher” and end up feeling happy that I get to create a little joy. Also, I treated myself to a beautiful new pair of ice skates, the first I’ve had since I was a teen. I don’t skate much at all, but my daughters like to, and knowing that I now have a pair of my own feels very luxurious and special! From a mom who feels guilty doing pricey things for myself, that was a fun one.
This reminded me that when I was little, I became the self appointed tooth fairy for my two younger sisters. I made business cards and left them under their pillows with the money for their teeth. That’s some real oldest daughter behavior in retrospect
Peaceful distractions in difficult times: A dear friend and I just joined the Barbara Pym Society and signed up for the annual conference in Cambridge (Mass.) in April. We both love her books (think 20th-century Jane Austen, featuring middle-aged women, vicars and archbishops, Oxford students, anthropologists, and dramatic events like church jumble sales). We both realized that we don’t have any other friend who will understand our excitement about this. I will be dusting off my Liberty blouses and cardigans for that weekend. (I always wear sensible shoes, so that’s easy.) I’m reading Edith Wharton’s ghost stories, which are beautifully written, of course, and very creepy. We started doing jigsaw puzzles. Since they only fit on the dining room table in our tiny apartment, we need to work fast so we can have meals there. I can do a 500-piece puzzle in an afternoon; the 1,000-piece ones take us more than a day, and that’s the kind of pressure I can handle.
Barbara Pym! My favorite author, discovered her in the 80s, also the society. Haven’t been to a conference yet, but on a recent visit to Enland visited Oxford, found St Hilda’s and the Banbury Road (which she refers to in her diaries), found “St Mary’s” in London, visited Pimlico – so much! Someday we will find Barn Cottage… things being what they are, what a comfort to curl up with Mildred and Jane and Dulcie and live in their world for a time. You are right, hard to find people who get it, but when we do! So happy to see this today!
Another Barbara Pym fan here 💖 A few years ago I dressed up as Mildred for Halloween—I still have the teacup! I got my husband and coworker on the Barbara Pym train, too. My coworker also joined the Barbara Pym Society, so maybe you’ll see him at the conference!
How nice to hear from fellow Pym fans! We plan to reread all of her books before the conference, because there’s a trivia contest and because it’s so soothing to read books where very little happens. My friend and I have traveled to London together twice, and plan to go again. She will love the idea of visiting Pym sites. Thanks for a lovely idea, Dianna! Cordelia, I wish you were coming to the conference, too!
My husband making blueberry pancakes on a weekend morning for me and our toddler (after I slept in). She and I are both sick because she caught something on her FIRST DAY of daycare last week. He cooks all the time, but something about him flipping pancakes for us makes me feel so loved.
I made the earl grey granola recipe that was published here last night and it’s currently making my counter look gorgeous and my house smell divine. A small but lovely thing.
I’m attending a knitting retreat this weekend. Three days of laughter, learning new skills and meeting new people. I attended this retreat last year and met a wonderful group of women who became friends. Our friendship grew over the last year. As a 50 year old, it is so hard to meet friends – that aren’t work, church, spouse adjacent. My aha moment while reflecting about this amazing group of women is that the only thing that is required of me is my presence. My cup is filled and I can fill theirs. And that is what my soul needed.
Is it possible to share more about the retreat info? Where can one learn more about it? Would love to connect with other COJ knitters!
I take the E to and from work, and as of a few months ago, there is a new recorded announcement at the 74 Roosevelt stop in a very thick Queens accent: “Transfer to the Q70 for select bus service to LAHGUAHDIA Airport.” (lol, LaGuardia Airport). It’s a small thing every weekday that makes me smile, and I’ll take it. Queens 4Eva.
It isn’t a recorded announcement, but often as we approach a stop on the red line in Cambridge we hear a voice bellow “HAHVAHD!”
love that, Angela!! lol Ai could nevah.
Currently plotting summer travel! Would love this groups thoughts- any ideas for a summer vacation destination for my in-laws and my family? Includes a 3 and 1 year old. Flexible budget. Would love some outdoors (whether that be beach, lake, or just some nice walks) and lots of beauty! Any ideas?? Open to North/South America and Europe (Asia might be too far)
Kardamyli, Greece. The most gorgeous coastal village you’ve never heard of.
Nova Scotia, Canada!
If you plan ahead regarding accomodations, Yellowstone and Teton National park. My husband and I spent a week there last summer and it was magical.
We did a multi generational trip with young kids to the Algarve in Portugal and it checks all your boxes! I’m a travel advisor and would be happy to answer any questions! I can be reached at [email protected]
Lake George, NY!
Last spring, at the last minute, my family had coinciding time off. We booked a rental on Vieques Island off the coast of Puerto Rico. It took a ferry (or helicopter) ride to get there, but man, it was the CHILLEST six days of our lives, hanging out by the pool and hitting many of the beaches. We were able to pay a guy to take us snorkeling off the northwestern side of the island to see mantas and sea turtles. We ate beach food. Our sort of crappy Spanish language skills were sufficient for getting by. I’d highly recommend this for any generational family trip. I’d go back right now if I could.
Agree with the Nova Scotia rec! If you’re on the west coast, check out anything along the coast in British Colombia! Vancouver island is amazing but there are plenty of beautiful places in BC.
My 13 month old is starting to show affection. Little hugs, slobbery kisses and a sleepy head on my shoulder before naptime. Keeps me afloat!