A Colorful Wedding With Lots and Lots of Dancing
“I’d only been to one Nigerian wedding before ours,” says Jeanne. She’s American, and her husband, Folarin, is British Nigerian. Portugal felt like a good meeting point for guests coming from multiple continents, and together the couple hosted a big colorful wedding with lots of speeches and lots of dancing. Below, they walk us through the day, with photos by Jimena San Miguel…
Jeanne: I actually wanted a small wedding, but Folarin was like, ‘I want it to be like the best party we’ve ever been to!’ and our parents were also in that camp. I came around to the idea of doing a bigger wedding, but by Nigerian standards, this was still incredibly small.
Folarin: I’ve been to many weddings with over 1,000 people. My ideal number would probably have been like 500, and Jeanne’s was fewer than 50. We ended up in the middle with around 200 guests.
Jeanne: My dress was quite simple for Nigerian bride standards, but I am not a super bedazzled glamour girl. I wanted to wear something that felt like me.
Folarin: Outfits for the bride and groom are made from a special fabric that is woven by hand in rural areas of Nigeria. Nobody warned us that these fabrics are very heavy. We were getting married outside in July, and I was wearing something like 10 yards of fabric!
Folarin: A lot happens at the wedding before the central couple is even there. After the guests are seated, the groom’s family enters, then the bride’s family, then eventually the groom, and finally the bride.
Jeanne: I was hanging out with my bridesmaids for two hours after the wedding started!
Folarin: You don’t walk into the ceremony; you dance through all of the guests to get to the stage. A Nigerian wedding is very festive and loud.
Jeanne: Historically, it’s also super transactional. There’s a bride price, all of that. We did a lot of the Nigerian wedding customs, but for us, it was more about the two families coming together.
Folarin: A big part of the ceremony is this very tangible show of respect. The groom lies down on the ground in front of both sets of parents to express gratitude. My mum was wearing orange. My dad’s brother and my grandma are sitting on either side of her.
Folarin: I became overcome with emotion while expressing gratitude to my family.
Folarin: On the left is my grandma, and on the right is her sister. Nigerian weddings are exuberant. You can wear all your expensive jewelry, lots of color, even a gold dress, and you won’t look out of place — everybody’s doing it.
Jeanne: I’m not a confident dancer, but dancing into the ceremony was super fun. The person who wrapped my hair taught me three core moves I could do, and that carried me through. Before going out, I practiced in the mirror with my bridesmaids — and had a little tequila!
Folarin: Seeing Jeanne really owning that space, even though she’s not Nigerian and doesn’t really enjoy dancing, was really, really special.
Jeanne: Between the daytime and the evening events, we got to have a quiet moment together. It was nice to unwind and connect.
Jeanne: And eat! I hadn’t eaten all day.
Folarin: We found a Nigerian caterer, but he was struggling to deliver. A few of my mom’s friends stepped in to support him and get everything done. There was jollof rice, plantains, and traditional stews.
Folarin: After dinner, the last things on the agenda were to cut the cake and then dance, dance, dance. We shared the playlist with our guests.
Folarin: Throwing money during the wedding symbolizes wealth and fortune, and the money helps the couple get started.
Jeanne: The next day, we did a classic American ceremony with a white dress, a priest, and the Black American tradition of jumping the broom. Both of the wedding days were so much fun. But, honestly, my family is still talking about the Nigerian wedding day. They loved it.
Thank you for sharing your wedding with us, Jeanne and Folarin!
P.S. More weddings, like would you wear a short wedding dress and how would you make your wedding feel true to you?
(Photos by Jimena San Miguel of Volvoreta.)
Tags: weddings
Comments
88 commentsWow! The images of Folarin showing respect to his family made me tear up! You can feel the emotion in those images. What a day of joy and meaning. And everyone looks just stunning. Congratulations Jeanne and Folarin!
What an amazing and beautiful wedding! Thank you for sharing with us. My husband and I eloped to Maui and then hosted a big party a month later. I curated every song on my playlist: Cocktails / Dinner / Dancing. We played it as we drove around Maui for the week! And then I shared it with our guests to enjoy before and after. My best girlfriends still let me know when they’re listening to it!
Wonderful! Absolutely loved this. The clothing….those hats!
I love big weddings and this one is beautiful. My own wedding included African drums, traditional clothing, and jumping the broom. I still look back on it with joy 25 years later. Wishing the bride and groom many happy years together.
The fashion! The symbolism! The celebration! Wow, this is iconic. Thank you for sharing.
Loved this! Congratulations to the beautiful couple. I too really want to be lucky enough to be invited to a traditional Nigerian wedding and a traditional Indian wedding too some day. Thank you for sharing the playlist! Wishing Folarin and Jeanne a long and happy marriage!
So much joy! Often times American weddings end up being more “show” than joy or heartfelt celebration. Here’s to more personalized weddings!
Love love love this so much!
OK, I now have a new goal of going to a Nigerian wedding!!
Glorious! How special to be transported to this stunning & joyful wedding. Thank you!
What beautiful wedding traditions. Seems so incredibly inclusive and joyous. Thank you for sharing.
I had a small wedding and that’s my vibe but I adored seeing pictures and learning about this wedding. Beautiful!
Wow everything about this sounds and looks perfect, what a GORGEOUS couple and royal grandmothers!!! Congrats to these beautiful people!!!
I love the blue dress! That color is majestic!
What a joyful wedding!
Wow! That is the wedding dress of my dreams! And the playlist is perfection. Congratulations to the beautiful couple!
What a gorgeous wedding and couple! I wonder how difficult it was to negotiate which traditions to keep and which ones to leave out.
First galnce I thought they are wering denim, wow. So pretty!!
There is something so heartwarming seeing the matching ceremony and reception clothing. It’s saying “here we are, we go together now.” I just love it.
What a special celebration. Oh to have been a guest! Neither husband or I feel connected to any one culture to have anything from one at our wedding. What fun the Nigerian celebration is!
You don’t have to! A friend is Sri Lankan Christian and her husband is Puerto Rican. They did a traditional church wedding but for their reception, they went with a full Indian theme because they loved the movie, Monsoon Wedding.
Amazing! In my wonderful country, Portugal. Do you know in which city/ location? Thank you.
Yes! They got married here: https://www.facebook.com/casadasgaeirascasamentos?_rdr
Thank you Alex! Really close to my area.
Would they mind sharing other venues they considered? I am sure their short list is incredible. Helping a close friend find a venue and would love any and all suggestions for Portugal. Many thanks!
Gorgeous couple and wedding!
Echoing everyone else’s comments about how beautiful and joy filled this wedding clearly was. Many thanks for sharing! I’m so glad that the person who wrapped your hair for teaching you a few core moves. I’d lived in the biggest city of my husband’s home country for years before we got married but his family’s region is FAMOUS for its very specific wedding traditions and dances. I relied on him guiding me through the dances as we went a long at our (also) very large, very dance centric wedding. Though learning in such a high stakes environment from someone who has been dancing like that since he could stand was not exactly a recipe for success… Also I LOVE Tiffany W’s suggestion of more posts about intercultural weddings- clearly I’m biased but they ***are*** the most fun weddings and bring together people who would have never otherwise crossed paths in the celebration of love. Despite what some political rhetoric suggests they’re also increasing the norm, and remembering that fact is a balm to me in our current times.
Totally agree! The intercultural weddings are so much fun to learn about. My husband is from Mexico City. I was surprised at how different some of the traditions and norms are despite a similar faith background; like bridesmaids and groomsmen are more optional than in the U.S. and the size of the wedding is definitely closer to 400+.
Love this post! So cool to see how different cultures celebrate. Stunning and beautiful!
Listen. Nigerians know how to wedding.
We sure do.
💚💚
For real. My own wedding was pretty, but SO boring in every way compared to this amazing celebration!
I loved this!! I got goosebumps after reading it. I could feel the energy and happiness, I could hear the singing and laughing – it felt JOYOUS. Thank you for sharing your beautiful traditions and wedding day with us.
the dancing, the gratitude, the community – and keeping it real and authentic – so good! SO GOOD!!
I love everything about this – so much joy. Thank you for sharing and much happiness to this beautiful couple.
Wow, this is incredible! The joy is contagious. Much needed today.
Obviously the couple is gorgeous, but also the grandma and her sister…. Obsessed 💜💜💜💜
Yes!! The joy of this beautiful couple and also the matching sisters!! It’s all so good!
The purple fingernails to match! I want to age like that!
Could not love this wedding more.
Every photo shows so much J🌼Y! Congratulations! 🥂🍾
Beautiful and looks like everyone had fun -which is the most important thing!!
The style of this wedding has me over the moon. Grandma’s sunnies! The blue traditionally woven attire! Omg – stunning.
Well I love everything about this. You all look fantastic, and so happy! I can’t wait to dig into the playlist. Thanks so much for sharing, Jeanne.
Those unwind photos = sob. Jeanne’s wedding dress and Folarin’s shoes! All so gorgeous and radiant. Joyous wedded wishes to you both!!
What a fun wedding!
Oh how I love weddings! What a treat to share in this one!
Most joyful, beautiful wedding ever????🥹
This is a stunning wedding! I completely relate to the ethos of the wedding being about the two families, not just the bride and groom. And love that your wedding had so many ways for everyone to participate beyond just the bridal party, from the bowing the elders to the dancing through the guests to the money throwing and your aunties pitching to get the catering done. Simply beautiful. Also, having guests sit at dining tables from the get go is genius. Especially for longer ceremonies.
I echo everyone else in saying that this beautiful joyful wedding was just delightful to read about! Congratulations!!!
I love how there are bridesmaids in gold sequin dresses, and the bride still shines.
This comment is perfect! I have never understood people who stress about the bride being outshone – they never are. Love makes people glow.
Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! And the photo of the groom laying down thanking his family was incredibly moving to see. Wish there had been one picture at the end of Jeanne in her other wedding gown (if she wanted to share, I understand if its personal), only because after seeing both of these outfits I just know she wore a stunning white gown too!
This was such a joyful post! Thank you for sharing your day and your family. Wishing you both and your families continued joy and happiness.
Gorgeous, all around. And I love that the caterer wasn’t going to get it done so the mom’s friends jumped in. I don’t know why that just feels good but it does.
This couple, their families, their traditions, their clothes, their joy is a panacea for the odious times we live in…Mashallah!
The joy really comes through in these photos! What a beautiful couple and two beautiful ceremonies. Wishing them much happiness –
First and foremost the bride and groom are simply beautiful. Second, have you ever seen more stunning elders?
Truly! The grandmas and aunties are gorgeous.
This might be one of my favorite posts you’ve ever done. I don’t know if it’s the state of the world or peri, but the photos and story brought tears to my eyes. The joy and the life and the hopefulness of it all! ❤️
I feel the same!!! Such bright joy, it was pure nourishment.
Stunning!!
SOOOOO beautiful! The colors, the clothes, the faces, oh my gosh this looks like SO much fun! Every single thing is stunning. Blue is my color, these fabrics look so sumptuous and tactile. I just love this. Thank you so much, I’ll be turning to it again and again for a big spark of joy. Gorgeous.
Love this so much! What a celebration–what joy, what beauty!
I love this so much!! What an incredible wedding. So joyful!
What a beautiful wedding! This brought a huge smile to my face while reading, I can only imagine the joy during the event! And it was fascinating to learn about Nigerian wedding customs.
I have never seen so many beautiful people in one place in my life!! I hope I can experience being a guest at a Nigerien wedding one day!
Thank you for sharing your wedding. I loved learning about all the Nigerian wedding customs. Maybe a new series Cup of Jo?
The navy garments with the coral jewelry against the yellow building – ah! – so incredibly gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
her MASSIVE smile in every one of those photos! so beautiful!
Omg this all looks incredible! I’ve really come to love a big wedding. They seem to be kinda out of fashion over here these days with a lot of people going very small and intimate, which is of course so lovely, too. But getting all your people together for a giant joyful bash like this is so wonderful and amazing. Yay for love and joy and dancing together! And gah that Nigerian fashion is sooooo good. Y’all look incredible in that special fabric. Congrats and here’s to a wonderful, loving and long marriage!
So much joy, and now you get to carry that into your lives together. Congratulations. (and oh my goodness, you looked so gorgeous! That dress could not have been more perfect on you – which was lucky because your grandmother and great-aunt are totally beautiful). Your husband looks like a pretty amazing guy, and when he looks at you, melt!
So much joy! I needed this on this cold winter day…. would love to also see images from their second wedding! Best of luck to this beautiful couple.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful, meaningful day with us. And so great to learn about Nigerian wedding traditions. You are both gorgeous. Congrats and many happy years ahead.
Wow! Congratulations to the bride and groom. Wishing you all the very best! Thanks for sharing your customs with us.
Wow, this is so fabulous!!!
What an AMAZING wedding celebration!! Where in particular in Portugal is this?
Beautiful!! I’ve been listening to your wedding playlist- so good!!
WOW – so much joy! Such incredible outfits! Such beautiful traditions (dancing, money, gratitude practices, etc)! Thank you for sharing your big day with us. Sending you wishes for a long life of happiness and love 💗
Beautiful! I LOVE the photo of getting to eat–so real. I credit the couple that they found the energy to go out after and still party. More power to you!
I love love loved this! As someone who comes from a culture with strong wedding traditions (I’m Malaysian-Chinese), I love learning about the traditions of other cultures and this wedding looks insanely fun. Not sure if y’all are open to it, but I’d love to nominate myself to share my wedding! I had two—one in Brooklyn and one in Malaysia—and had a fun time weaving together American, Malaysian, and Chinese customs.
Yes please!!
Oh please do share!
Yes! Would love to see your wedding!
I would love to see yours!!
Oh my goodness, thank you for all of the support! CoJ team, I’m around if you want to reach out! 👋🫣
This is AWESOME! One of my favorite wedding posts ever on here!! The part about the caterer & the moms stepping in made me laugh out loud. Love love love.