Five Gifts for New Mothers
This weekend, my third baby turned one, and I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. But even now, I remember how special, raw, and incredibly hard those early months of motherhood were.
Every five minutes, I’d nestle my nose into Evelynn’s fluffy hair, breathing in her newborn smell. For the first two months, I always grew nervous as the sun went down, since I knew what waited for me was a night of back-to-back nursing sessions. Also, I felt so gutted and guilty at Evelynn’s first doctor’s appointment, when I learned she had lost weight, instead of gaining it.
My highs felt so high, and the lows were low. Thankfully, a few remedies always helped: Texts from friends. Visits with my mom. Listening to funny audiobooks on our stroller walks. And what also brought me comfort were gifts from family and friends that made me feel cared for, physically and emotionally. Below are five gift ideas for new moms…
1. A pretty vase to hold flower bouquets from visitors. For years, whenever she fills it, she will always think of you and that sweet newborn time. This one felt like a ray of sunshine.
2. Pick-me-up skincare. I rarely put on makeup during those first few months, but when I had time to myself, skincare products were such a treat. Korean skincare glow pads felt refreshing and cool and always left my skin soft and dewy. I wore them every night of my third pregnancy, when fluctuating hormones made my face feel bone-dry.
3. Slip-ons. My husband, Max, surprised me with Birkenstocks for my birthday, four days before I unexpectedly went into labor with our son. He was born seven weeks early and rushed to the NICU. While pregnant with him, I’d daydreamed of slow mornings together, snuggling in our pajamas in bed. Instead, I woke up to a 6:30 a.m. alarm clock in a room with no baby. Getting dressed for the hospital felt so hard — I didn’t have many pieces that felt comfortable on my new postpartum body, because I hadn’t expect to be leaving the house so soon. Thankfully, slipping on these clogs took two seconds, and I didn’t have to bend over tie shoelaces. Three years later, they’re still one of my most-worn shoes.
4. Drop-off meals that aren’t dinner. Of course, any delivered food is always appreciated, but in Caroline Chambers’s meal train menu, her editor Molly brings up a good point: “Instead of dinner, consider bringing snacks, a breakfast casserole, or a good-all-week salad for lunch,” she says. “A neighbor dropped off peanut butter energy balls when I was one week postpartum, and it HIT THE SPOT. I’d eat one for breakfast, in the car headed to doctor appointments, and while nursing in the middle of the night.” This make-ahead strata is chock full of vegetables, and these zucchini muffins are perfect for grab-and-go moments.
5. A hand-written letter for the baby. At my first baby shower, guests wrote heartfelt letters for my daughter, Ella, and shared their hopes and dreams for her. To this day, whenever I read them, I get a lump in my throat and marvel at how lucky Ella and I are to be surrounded by this community of women and men. In hard parenting moments, a new mom could reread these cards and take in what every parent wants to hear: their child is deeply, deeply loved, and they’re never alone.
Thoughts? What ideas would you add? If you’re a parent, what gifts/gestures did you appreciate most during those hazy early days? Congratulations to any new parents, and good luck and love to anyone who is trying.
P.S. Eight more gift ideas for new parents and Joanna’s advice for new mothers.
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Comments
150 commentsShower steamers! I had promised myself that no matter how crazy things were after the baby came, I was going to step into the shower every night. Even if it was just for a few minutes. A friend of my mom’s had gifted me shower steamers, which I’d never even heard of. I have vivid memories of standing in the shower those first few weeks, keeled over and crying from post-c-section pain, breathing in lavender, lemongrass, and sandalwood. Miraculously, the calming scents would make me feel, however briefly, like a human woman and not a wounded animal.
May I suggest the Tuned Postpartum movement card deck? It has prompts to reconnect with your body the way that it is now after having a baby. My friend Liz made them and I am so proud of how she alchemized a difficult time in her life and created something that can help other mothers as well. https://tunedmvmnt.com/
My baby came five weeks early and spent 30 days in the NICU and it was very hard – Jannelle, so sorry you lived that life too! Could we have an article on NICU moms and their experiences? 16 months out I still find myself a little traumatized. I went to a mom-baby outpatient program at the hospital for postpartum depression and started EMDR for birth trauma but still feel like I lost something not being able to spend the early days with her 24/7.
Aww. I’m so sorry to hear – I too was a NICU mama, but also worked for many years as a NICU nurse. If you ever want to connect, let me know! : )
Another great things is an Uber Eats / DoorDash gift card! I got a big one from a couple out-of-state friends, and it was so appreciated when we were back to having to cook for ourselves, but some days that simply felt IMPOSSIBLE even four, five months in.
My kids are 5 and 7 now, and I remember some standout meals/gifts/visits for different reasons- many of which are echoed in the comments already! My sister in law came and made us pita sandwiches, cubed cold watermelon, sliced cucumber- the fresh and cold option was so nourishing. My best friend lives in a different state, and she sent a small catered order from a local specialty shop- I still dream about the quiche I ate in one day. And a personal fav- a decade-younger colleague who had no kids at the time brought a full case of beer. I could barely drink one beer at the time due to exhaustion and nursing, but it still brings me joy to think of her showing up ready to celebrate. Nothing brings me more joy than bringing something, anything, to new parents in those early weeks/months!
For all its faults, our church is excellent about bringing meals postpartum and I feel incredibly blessed that for all four of my babies we were loved through food. Two most memorable were a family that brought a full main course-sides-dessert, all homemade; and a neighbor that brought over a bag of favorite snacks from Trader Joe’s + a few great big sunflowers! One thing I’m proud of is that I prioritize taking meals to families with new babies and I’ve taken lots! Sometimes it’s more elaborate and homemade, sometimes it’s grocery store snacks and fun treats depending on what I have bandwidth for. All appreciated I think!
I had my last baby in November and some friends bought me a pair of Ugg slippers. I don’t think they left my feet until I went back to work in April. Warm, cozy, comfortable, the perfect winter maternity leave shoe.
It’s interesting to read these comments. I’ll never forget our first meal home with my daughter ( who remains the love of my life ) my husband and I had a frozen pizza. He held her while I ate a slice and I did the same for him. (As we sat there staring at her. <3 ) never thought anything about people bringing food or whatever. I don't think it was done back then. I didn't care. Never thought about it. It remains a magical and lovely memory. I'd relive those days again in a heartbeat.
For the first six weeks after I gave birth, my brother brought food for us every weekend. Usually an entree and a dessert. I remember giving my daughter her 5 am bottle and then sitting down with a slice of his homemade babka and thinking, you know, this ain’t that bad. When my neighbor gave birth recently, I wanted to pay it forward, so I made a hearty ragu with orzo along with an apple oat quickbread. And I made sure to use disposable pans so she wouldn’t have to worry about washing and returning anything to me!
Many of my new mom friends live states away, so my go-to baby gift has been disposable plates, bowls, and silverware so they don’t have to worry about dishes right away. I usually add in a face mask and some treats for mom, a little onesie for the baby, and sticker books if there are older siblings to help keep them busy. I wish I could drop off food or come by and help out, but this has worked lately.
I loved it when a friend popped by while I was on maternity leave with a coffee cake. It was a month or two in, so not exactly newborn stage, but by that time I’d gotten my footing as a mom of two. The oldest was off at preschool so we had time to chat. If I were going through it again (or had friends who were), I’d bring something nourishing, like a grain salad, a bag of frozen cookie dough balls, and a fruit salad. For those of us who are moving onto the next life stage from birthing babies, October is also Menopause Awareness Month :).
I’m just being funny here – but menopause awareness month made me laugh… it’s note easy to ignore… I work in a library and with so many women on staff there’s a funny fight for control of the air-con.. some running hot and others running cold.
I love to bring a tub of organic yogurt and this homemade granola along with a box of berries. This granola is so yummy and filling (and has ingredients that support milk supply if the mama is nursing). It’s great for breakfasts and snacks! https://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/chunky-healthy-granola-recipe/ I will usually bring this along with some kind of soup – my current favorite is a hearty red lentil soup! – and some crusty bread.
I had two friends come by one Friday afternoon when my baby was about 10 weeks old. They brought happy hour to my house. They timed it with my baby’s third nap of the day. Brought charcuterie and wine and stayed and chatted for an hour. Offered to fold clothes or unload the dishwasher, too. It stands out in my mind so clearly!!
This post and the comments made me incredibly emotional. I think it’s because I don’t feel like I have appropriately thanked the people who were so kind to us when our baby was born. We had just moved to a new city where we knew very, very few people, and I don’t think I can ever repay the love and support we felt! The few people we did know there brought us food. Our other friends and one of my cousins also sent food from far away, and several friends sent care packages. I had COVID when I gave birth, and my baby had COVID, and my partner had to go back to work almost immediately and travel a lot, so it was otherwise a pretty lonely time, and recovering from childbirth and COVID simultaneously was so hard! My hope is someday to pay it forward, but today at least, I sent some text messages saying, “I remember how you showed up for me, and I’m so grateful!”
Aw that does sound hard ! I’m sorry you and baby had Covid. I’m sure everyone just wanted to help you…I wouldn’t expect or need thanks from someone in such a hectic time. I would know the person appreciated the care.. Life just flies by and it’s hard to fit things in.
Does anyone one else find reading these kinds of articles painful? If only for the reason that no one cared at all about me while postpartum. My girls are two and four and still reading articles like this bring back the rather visceral pain of realizing that I had no friends/family/village that we willing to come through for me in even the smallest of ways when I had newborns. I am so happy for those that do have people who care for them, but just curious if anyone feels the same?
Emily, caring and friendship are reciprocal. How many times did you bring dinner to your family and friends postpartum? I relished the care and feeding I received just as much as I enjoyed showering others over the years.
You aren’t alone at all Emily. I’m so sorry people weren’t there for you when you were postpartum. But yes, the sting of 10+ years of freezer stocking, cleaning, babysitting older kids, perfecting my system for supporting friends who lived far away and then getting literally nothing but a “congrats” text when it was my turn was horrifically painful and I am genuinely at a loss for how I want to continue to show up for people in my life knowing that it was never reciprocated. Turning away from fostering community feels like giving up and failing to contribute to making the world a better place, but also I just feel used.
Emily, I’m right with you. My kids are 6 and 2. Actually, a lot of the Motherhood Monday posts are so beautiful, but really different from my life.
Cynthia, I found this comment to be in very poor taste. You are over simplifying. Many people supported others much, much more than others supported them and yet people like you are the first to tear them down and assume the worst.
Hi Cynthia, After my sister in law and close friend had babies last year, I cooked them each dinner 2-4 times a week for two months. Is that reciprocal enough for you? When my sister had my niece, I went to her house, an hour away from me, every week end to clean and cook and help her. Is that reciprocal enough for you?
Sometimes, yes. My peak Covid pregnancy and postpartum meant most people had to stay away. I still feel a bit robbed of some things I didn’t get to experience.
AMG put it really well- many 2020 and 2021 moms, especially in high risk areas and high distancing enforced areas understand the isolation of having a newborn during that time. But also, I don’t Emily owes anyone an explanation for how she felt.
Emily, I am someone who hasn’t really been able to reciprocate the care that I got when I had a newborn. I feel terrible about it, but the truth is that parenting and working has been a lot harder than I expected. I have a 3-year-old, and it is still really hard to do very basic things. I’m trying to get better about taking food to friends who have new babies or checking in on my friends who are new parents, but most of the time, participating in a meal train is beyond me, and sometimes the most I have managed is bringing a box of hand-me-downs when the baby is 4 months old and sometimes not even that! I’m hoping I can be a better friend as parenting gets less intense, but I feel guilty that I’m not that kind of friend now. I wonder if we as the COJ community could help you find a village or at least do one thing to make you feel supported? When I was little, my mom would always get size 2T+ clothes to take as baby shower gifts. She said that everyone gives you tiny baby clothes, but kids grow fast, and it’s important to be there for families as kids get older. I’m sorry you didn’t have a community show up for you when your babies were born, but I hope you can feel more supported now. And, on a petty note, I hope Cynthia sees your response to her comment 😅
Hi Emily, I am so sorry your friends and family were so shit at turning up for you. It was the same for me. Some people tried, but they didn’t have kids so turning up with a whole pile of food for me to prep wasn’t really helpful but I loved the sentiment. The weirdest thing was (and still is) how my husband’s family did nothing! His mum did everything for her daughter’s kids but even now that my son is 16 I actually think he could walk past her on the street and she wouldn’t be sure who he was. I don’t understand why – she and I get along great so it’s not ill-will. I think people thought that because my husband was the primary cook that we were fine… It’s hard when you see that you do not receive the love you give. Personally I have found getting a dog and a cat is great – their love is sincere, and you meet far nicer humans at the dog beach/park than you will anywhere else. But it is also sad because in the end you just give a little less. But I hope you and your children are close, and you will always be one another’s village.
I also find these articles painful. I am genuinely so happy that others have been well cared for, given gifts etc. My husband is not the gift giving type. It is very very much a struggle for him and I do all the gift planning for both our families (happily, though that leaves…me). None of my close friends have kids, or want them, so they are simply a bit clueless. I do have many blessings too, but I also have a lot of grief around motherhood in our culture/society. I’d love more articles about some struggles and overcoming them in early motherhood. Especially as Zillenialls/Gen Z are having fewer kids than ever, it would be extremely relevant to the loneliness around that (I’m born 1994).
My planned out of hospital birth with my first child turned into me laying on the operating table fearing for both of our lives in a whirlwind rush after 20 hours of unmedicated labor. The biggest gift of all – my friends who would come by and just listen. Listen to me recount and process my birth story. Regardless of how birth goes, it’s of course monumental, and I think its especially important to let first time birthing parents have a little trauma dump whenever needed. While bringing massive glasses of ice water and chocolate chip cookies, of course.
I second this. Forty years ago I did my own trauma dump after childbirth that got a little complicated. I think it was a big help in processing and recovering from the trauma. I remember so clearly the press I felt to tell my story and thankful to have had listeners.
Oh, and my brother and sis in law who live a flight away absolutely LOVED the Door Dash e-giftcard I texted them the day after they got home from the hospital. It’s an easy “thinking of you” from far away. Plus, Door Dash notifies you when they open and redeem it so you get reminded of your good deed a few times!
I always make frozen breakfast burritos for anyone in need of a meal train, but they’re especially good for new parents who may only have one hand! I’m very rarely NOT asked for the recipe a few days after drop off haha (I riff on these by The Kitchn https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-freezer-friendly-breakfast-burritos-234556)
The best food I got post partum was also the simplest – different types of bagels, cream cheese, and a big bowl of cut up fruit. I could eat it with one hand! It was fresh! Carbs! The dense cheesy casseroles were delicious, but the “snack” type food was the easiest.
My friend came over when I was struggling postpartum so she could hold the baby while I napped, and also put premade cookie dough balls in the freezer to either bake… or let’s be honest, snack on right out of the fridge. They were such a delicious treat I looked forward to a couple times a day until they ran out.
My gift for local folks is always food. A tray of cut up fruit (precut from the store is fine!) is a treat. I also like to make a loaf of chocolate chip zucchini bread and sweet potato black bean taquitos. I remember who sent food when we had our kids, but not the books and stuffies. We needed help and should have been more clear about asking for it. I was hoping that folks would step up for us (they didn’t- including our families) so now I refuse to let another fam feel unsupported.
Agree – I cannot for the life of me remember how stuffies and books appeared in the house, but distinctly remember who made sure we were fed (and who I now ask for the enchilada recipe)
Same. After my son was born, it was absolute radio silence from every friend and family member except one friend who was already a mother who sent me regular text check-ins (she lives about 230 miles away, so this was greatly appreciated). And then her husband’s mom and stepdad (who happen to live nearby) dropped off a lasagna one day for us, and I just WEPT out of gratitude. Not a single other person provided any help or support, and it was a feeling I’ll never forget. Now I make it a habit to not only check-in with any new moms I know, but also to bring them food or send a DoorDash gift card, just SOMEthing to make them feel seen and loved.
The taquitos sound amazing and a great one handed treat! I was a kindergarten teacher and middle school English teacher, so I cherish the books we got and actually remember who gifted us each book between my two kids.
Joanna, thank you so much for this little corner of the internet you have created. I know that Cup of Jo has always been partly a motherhood blog. That said, I would love to see some more content about women who are childless not by choice and coping with infertility. October is Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I know there have been some very poignant features on the blog in the past, it just seems like there has been less light shed on this lately. Thank you for considering.
Ditto. I’d like to see more pieces around the less typical or more challenging aspects of making a family, or of parenthood itself. The past essays and posts were published around the time I went through infertility and surrogacy and it was really nice to find familiar community and stories.
amazing ideas, im feeling the love and a touch of baby fever. i’d say the best gift i is a snacking cake that mom can slice whenever she’s near the kitchen. Also i loved when people just came by with some food or a cup of tea. I didn’t have to ask or think, magical things just appeared in my fridge in pretty jars or tupperwares.
I always made a hazelnut chocolate cake everytime my neighbour had a baby (she had lots and that’s her favourite). She would slice it up, put it in the freezer and eat it while she breastfed – and NO SHE NEVER SHARED IT with her family!
As a NICU mom the greatest gift were glimpses of the outside world. One colleague would sent me a picture of the construction site that we worked on together every week or so. Seeing that there was a life outside the crazy, anxiety filled, stressful NICU bubble kept me sane.
With breastfeeding you are constantly thirsty so a large, insulated tumbler that was spill-proof was my most used item! I like my Simple Modern tumbler that can hold 40oz so I’m not constantly refilling it.
I had a water bottle like this one that I used constantly when breastfeeding. Doesn’t leak and you can operate it one-handed, plus it can go in a diaper bag for excursions. I’ve since given them to other new moms — it’s an inexpensive gift and very useful: https://www.camelbak.com/product/eddy%2B-25oz,-purple-sky/CB-2465502075.html?googleMerchant=1&source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23856726211&gclid=Cj0KCQjwuJLWBhD_ARIsAIBcRUzjr7Rn0Xw6Dv-4ZMp7LdvvdrgSIasCJW85Z6ZVnoZhclHeSzzSmdAaAq9FEALw_wcB
Not at all glamorous, but since having my baby I have held the opinion that no postpartum woman should have to buy her own pads. So I started giving my expecting friends a postpartum kit with the comfiest pads, “padsicles”, witch hazel wipes, an angled peri bottle, breast pads, and nipple cream. If budget allows, I’ll include something cute, too, like a tumbler that doesn’t spill, a bag or basket they can carry around with one hand, or a comfy cotton robe. I usually try to bring them a dinner along with a one-handed breakfast option like muffins or breakfast burritos for the next day (or the middle of the night).
omg I love this.
This is so great! I have been giving something similar at baby showers – it’s not glamorous but it will be used! Adding some Dermaplast spray was great too. Especially for first time mothers, it’s hard to grasp your physical state after giving birth. It is so much better to have these things ready to go when you get home.
I just read this today – it’s not really about gifts but rather acts of kindness which are gifts in their own way I guess – and loved how she broke down the ideas into categories https://substack.com/home/post/p-190553637
I am driving two hours tomorrow to visit my sister in law who had her second baby 2 weeks ago. I’m bringing several mini lasagnas, soup, homemade tomato sauce and lactation cookies to put in her freezer. For mom, I’m bringing a gift bag with a cozy pair of gripper socks, hand cream, lip balm, shower oil, a giant tumbler water bottle, and a microwaveable neck/shoulder wrap. I just remember being so DRY while breastfeeding! I didn’t get to do much for her when her first was born as my third was under a year at that time, but now 5 years later I am so happy to get to spoil her a little bit.
In the first few weeks after my daughter was born, SO MANY PEOPLE brought us dinner and treats, to the point where our freezer was stuffed and I couldn’t stand another cookie or another bowl of soup. (So much soup!) I appreciated these gestures but what I REALLY appreciated was the friends who brought us healthy, fresh snacks instead. One friend brought fresh cut veggies and hummus and it was amazing and exactly what I wanted postpartum.
My best friend came over and she peeled a cucumber and cut it in sticks, and I almost cried. It was exactly what I wanted and the extra effort of peeling the cucumber felt especially generous.
I sent 4 pints of Jeni’s ice cream to my friend who lives out of state after she had her second baby. She was utterly delighted.
A case of Jeni’s is my go-to for newborn parents!! Appropriate to eat at any time of day. Plus a few of my favorite kids books a few months after baby’s arrival.
Adding onto the Edible Arrangement comment to say… if your recipient has cats, they might not be able to have flowers at home (my cat knocks them over; some flowers are poisonous). I would much prefer to receive an edible arrangement any time of year! Will remember to plant this idea for my parents to buy me for baby #2. Whoever said they buy Kindred Bravely gift cards, that is so luxe! There were so many things I had to buy and yes I hated spending money on things I would only wear for a few months. I would have loved to receive that. I think no one has mentioned a giant water bottle. I have a few reusable Starbucks venti cups. I know a lot of people like something with a handle. Or even something with a cross body strap since your hands are always full. But definitely food and chore-doing are the best gifts! Especially at the beginning when baby isn’t big enough to give them to a stranger for an hour.
So many ideas! Kate Strickler with Naptime kitchen has a whole manual for taking people meals. Check it out: https://naptimekitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Take-Them-a-Meal-Manual-2024.pdf
Perfect timing! Okay Cup of Jo hive mind! I have a friend— not a close friend but we’ve bonded via an online long covid rehab group— who just had a baby. Being pregnant actually helped her health which is amazing. She lives in Ireland and I am in the US. I do not know what to do for her. Would a hand written note suffice? I’d love to bake her cookies but I am not physically able and doubt they would survive the shipping. Any tips for a faraway first time mom? Budget friendly is also a plus.
Maybe a cute little tshirt or onesie from your hometown? Even if it is from a neighborhood kids buy nothing group or consignment store to keep it within budget. And as an accompaniment to a hand written note which is always lovely – would seem to make a lovely gift. Hopefully not too pricey to send overseas as it would lightweight.
Oh I love that idea! My husband even does silk screening… I wonder if he would do something. Or I know the woman who runs the used kids clothes pop up shop in town. I am so glad I asked! Cup of Jo comment delivers! Thanks, Lori.
My go-to small but special baby gift is The Night You Were Born or My Mom is Magical board book with a handwritten note inside the cover. ❤️
Almost everyone here in Ireland seems to use WhatsApp for messaging….. I think sending love, leaving them a voicenote to play back when there’s time, or sending GIFs or cartoons goes a long long way in helping someone feel remembered.
Just reaching out from afar is great. I felt so loved any time a friend who did not live nearby just texted to say hi.
Being pregnant also helped my chronic health issues. It was such a nice side effect. My dr’s ELI5 said the body lowers its immunity so it doesn’t see the baby as foreign object and inflammation drops. Can you locate a nearby salon or coffee house and give her a gift card for a manipedi, massage or something lovely just for her? When I was exhausted, those special gifts for me made me feel so loved. You may have to email/call the business directly but the transaction shouldn’t be an issue.
Thank you all so much! We are connected on what’s-app already so I can send her notes. I love these other ideas too— a simple sweet book, pampering treats… As a mom of two I of course know it can be lonely during those first months. So glad to hear pregnancy helped you feel better, too, Jeanne!
These are all such great ideas. I wish I had more disposable income simply so I could afford to spoil the new moms in my life. Things are so tight these days that sending the edible arrangement or a cleaning gift card are simply out of the question. I made a lasagne for a new mom friend recently and it cost me a very noticeable chunk of my monthly groceries budget just for the ingredients. I don’t live close by to these friends so it’s hard to do the drop-by every few days watch the baby while she showers thing. I don’t mean to moan, there are some great low cost ideas here. I just hate not being able to care for those I love in the generous way I want to :)
I can recommend this chocolate maker in Ireland: https://www.nearynogs.com/collections/all?page=2 Maybe they would deliver something lovely to your friend?
I really would have loved to receive snail mail in the early weeks/months of being a mom. On some (most) days, it was an accomplishment to get myself dressed and the baby dressed and outside of the house, and so many days the big adventure was to check the mail. It would have been so nice to receive encouraging cards (even notes written on plain index cards) or a tea bag, or a quote.
That lasagna sounds wonderful. And yes it’s expensive to make. How generous of you to put forth the effort of a home cooked meal. And give it away ! Generous ! It’s time consuming too. Nice !
for what it’s worth – sometimes when I want to encourage a friend – i send them a $10.00 Starbucks gift card randomly – nothing huge, just “buy a cup of coffee on me” to make their day brighter – that can always be a nice option when the budget it tight!
I always love putting together lists of books, movies, podcasts and shows I like to give someone some ideas who may be bed bound or beneath a baby! Sometimes a list of recs is really a great gift.
This was such a lovely thing to do!
My friend brought me a pretty hair clip for days when I wanted to feel a little pulled together but didn’t quite have it in me to shower. I felt so seen, and it is still a lovely memento of that time.
That’s such a thoughtful gift from your friend, Emily. I’m keeping this in mind for my friends!
Here are some ideas (mainly splurgy, but I know some people really like to gift a concrete item or some moms can’t fit food in their tiny NYC fridge or breast milk filled freezer) that would be a great group gift or something very special for a close friend, sister, or relative: -A nice diaper bag. My teacher friends collectively gave me the Dagne Dover diaper bag. It has lasted me 6 years and through 2 kids -A Kindle so she can snuggle her babe while she still fits in one arm and not worry about flipping pages (bonus add ons- a few months of Kindle unlimited, signing her up for Libby with her local library, etc) -6 months to a year of a streaming service to binge on shows she hasn’t watched yet while folding teeny tiny clothes -Lake Kimono Pajamas, the one I personally gift to close friends or suggest for a group gift: https://lakepajamas.com/products/english-navy-vertical-stripe-dreammodal-kimono-pajama-set?srsltid=AU7gw4VsCo7DmMiKpoYb5hQlpjzdlzmFFeKArxdS5CSQP2EDrX2lxrea&variant=41882333315162 For the sibling: -Magnetic cubes: https://www.amazon.com/Apluses-45PCS-Magnetic-Blocks-Transparent/dp/B0D1R79TFJ?pd_rd_w=MSKBN&content-id=amzn1.sym.657ef1e8-aef1-4fea-8703-8be46e27259a&pf_rd_p=657ef1e8-aef1-4fea-8703-8be46e27259a&pf_rd_r=E1FQPTVW5T336BF05HXS&pd_rd_wg=lWDPk&pd_rd_r=49793d62-3db4-426e-a7fb-8a9976f94ea7&ref_=sspa_dk_detail_sbt_0&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWxfdGhlbWF0aWM&th=1 -A snack stash, few days worth of fresh cucumbers, carrots, peppers, berries, cheese, crackers and maybe some m&ms -A gift they can share with new baby eventually (Warmies hugs are two stuffies that can be warmed up for comfort) -An annual subscription to the PokPok app
I’m six weeks postpartum so gratitude for a community eager to help is fresh on my mind! Here to second non dinner meals, a friend made breakfast burritos and pumpkin loaf and went to the trouble of individually wrapping them(including the loaf slices!) which made for very easy breakfast in the early weeks when I had little time to eat. If you’re not a great cook or aren’t nearby to drop food off, snacks like Aussie bites are truly great for late night feedings and doordash gift cards go a long way for when mom realizes she needs to eat but doesn’t have the time/energy to cook.
Some people aren’t going to like this because it can be wasteful but my advice is to bring food in containers the new parents don’t need to worry about returning. Whether that means disposable containers (sue me), containers you don’t care much about with a note saying “don’t worry about getting these back to me!,” or if you know the family well, transfer the meal into containers at their house and bring your containers with you.
I am very eco-conscious but I 100% agree with this. No one wants to think about washing and returning so & so’s casserole dish with they have newborn!
I save takeout containers for exactly this purpose. I have a whole stash next to my infinitely reusable glass tupperware. It’s nice to have a set that I don’t have to keep track of so I can focus on taking care of people instead.
Yes! I’m typically a fully reusable container person but this situation is 100% disposable (or call it a gift). Sometimes people make giving you meals so much more trouble than it’s worth!! Don’t come into my kitchen to cook! Don’t make me “swing by” to pick up the food! Don’t ignore all of my family member’s food allergies because you couldn’t think of what to make! Don’t ask me to return them – even if you’re “willing to pick them up if that’s easier!” I will forever appreciate the friend (also super eco conscious to the max) who left frozen meals in disposable containers on our porch the first week with a new baby, with explicit instructions to feel no pressure to even answer the door because we shouldn’t have to worry about even that, but that once we were ready for visitors she was looking forward to coming by to meet the new baby. Perfection.
I once read a comment from someone who said she grabbed casserole dishes from thrift stores for this purpose! she would gift with a cheery keep it or pass it on to someone you cook for kind of message. I thought that was pretty great.
Yes, I agree that no mom (or dad) of a newborn should have to think about returning dishes. But, as M.Kim says this doesn’t have to be totally wasteful. I don’t use Tupperware myself for food storage. But, I do save my yogurt tubs and any other similarly sized food containers just for delivering food to others. I once had someone bring me a huge popcorn tub full of homemade chili and it was amazing! :)
My go-to gift meal is a frittata – good warm, cold, room temp, for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I buy pie plates at the thrift store just for this purpose and let people know there is no need to return. They can keep the dish or donate.
A gift that has emerged in my office is compostable dishes. Having them on hand was a lifesaver for a new mom and she has started giving them as gifts. I am also a huge proponent of saving plastic food containers and running them through the dishwasher. I use them for holiday leftovers and any time I’m bringing food somewhere – either for a social gathering or dropping off for a friend. As someone who often likes to duck out early from a party this means I don’t have to worry about grabbing a dish. It gets left and recycled.
One of my favorite gifts is a big stack of paper plates. No one would rather be washing dishes with a new baby to hold!
I saw a cute idea to give a stack of paper plates and a gift card with a card that says something like “dinner and dishes on me” which would go great with your idea!
I always suggest a robe with big pockets, a printed cotton or linen one if you’re postpartum in the summer or a terry cloth one for winter. You can throw it over your nursing bra but still have easy access and you can carry pacifiers, bottles, your phone, lip balm, whatever in the pockets. Plus if it’s pretty you can put it over your schlubby pjs and feel a little better about life!
When I was newly postpartum, I’ll never forget when my friend came over to hold my baby JUST so I could take a shower and drink a cup of hot tea. It was a visit no longer than 45 minutes, but it was everything! She was also the friend who rode in the backseat of the car with my baby for my first “outing” to the grocery store. I really needed to get out of the house to do my own shopping since the days blurred into one and it was deep winter, but I was afraid to drive alone. She sat back there with my daughter for the drive and stayed in the car while I did my shopping. Her company fed my soul. As far as gifts for a new mother, I hosted a friend’s baby shower, and on the invitation, I asked each guest to send me a song that either reminded them of our friend, was uplifting, or filled them with power/warmth. I then created a playlist with all of the songs, and wrote down which song was from which guest. During the baby shower, I gifted it to our soon-to-be-mama, reminding her that during those tough days/nights, she’d always have hand-selected music keeping her company. We all listened to the playlist throughout the evening, it was so special.
These are all great ideas but the playlist is so sweet!
Snacks! A friend sent me a box of mini snacks, water bottle and maybe socks? And the mini snacks, along with a giant Trader Joes bag of snacks, were just the best. Now if I live close to the fam I bring a bag of snacks, and if I live far I send them boxes of mini-snacks. Meat sticks, fruit bars, granola bars. It doesn’t feel like much, but every person I’ve done this for has raved about how much it meant to them.
YES! A friend did this and described them as “one handed snacks” – perfect for eating with one hand while holding the baby. And perfect for middle of the night breast feeding sessions when you are starving and need some easy calories.
After I had my second baby, I was grateful that my holistic mom’s group dropped off healthy dinner meals, but one mom included BROWNIES. Such a simple and indulgent treat that I could also eat one-handed. Now I always include dessert!
I wanted chocolate chip cookies so much when I was postpartum but I couldn’t bring myself to make them or ask someone to make them for me. I always include these now. I also always include a salad too. So many meals are heavy and the salad is such a nice balance.
I know when my son was born and my daughter was four, she struggled with all the changes. When my parents woukd come by, they would play with her. They woukd mentally, emotionally and physically fill her to the brim. Puzzles, playing outside in the snow, reading, talking games, cuddles, making food together, being silky. All of it For a few days after she could happily occupy herself a bit more. That extra space to be with a newborn without guilt was everything.
An Italian friend got our local delivery service to drop off eight tubs of ice-cream. For weeks my husband was spoon feeding me gelato while I nursed the baby (:
EIGHT! I love it. It’s so over the top but also would be put to such good use. Would love to have heard the conversation around how many to get. “Honey, what about 6 tubs? Is that enough?” “IDK… maybe not quite… let’s do a few more.”
I had my first baby 9 months ago, meaning he was a winter baby. Some standout gifts from that time: one very sweet friend gifted us some baby bibs but also a tube of Eucerin hand cream and it was a LIFE SAVER. Our hands were so chapped from constant washing but also it was hard to get up and moisturize them while nap trapped with the baby. Having some extra hand cream stashed away was so great! My mother in law gifted me an Ember mug, which was such a nice luxury that I still use every day. Parents need hot coffee! Food wise, this is actually something I prepped for myself before baby was born lol but it was an unexpected hit which I have since brought to other friends going through surgery: https://smittenkitchen.com/2016/11/spinach-sheet-pan-quiche/
If money is tight (or simply not the focus re giving gifts), I think there are other great gifts (obvs. depending on your proximity): *come and tidy the kitchen etc. *give a foot massage *tell the mom she is beautiful (I cannot believe what this simple sentence does to the women I know. It seems so wanted and it feels so good to give & receive.) *hold the baby so the mom can take a shower. Or look outside the window. Or whatever is needed. If you can, maybe every day so that the mom can rely on you. *take pictures of mom and baby. Not the insta worthy ones, but the real ones. Put them into a photo album. *messages (via phone, postcard, or you just saying it out loud) “I think of you and I find you both are the warmest fire of this beautiful life, making me so so so happy.” Also, if you are awake at 3am at night, send a message. She will likely be awake scrolling whilst feeding the baby. *finding out what drink (water, tea, juice etc.) the mom likes and providing it accordingly. *ask questions that might not interest you, but that you know the new mom wants to answer. Show that you are a safe space to receive whatever is shared by the new mom. *give her a hug. As long as she wants.
Love these! What a gracious, loving list.
Such great ideas. <3 All of them are perfect (esp putting a beverage in her hand!), but "ask questions that the new mom wants to answer" is hilariously accurate.
“tell the mom she is beautiful” wow, that actually made me tear up. Kind of related, my best friend told me I was “so brave” when I tearfully explained my pregnancy loss and resulting procedure to her, and it stuck with me ever since. Words of affirmation from a friend can really hold so much power.
meals that aren’t dinner–saying it again for the people in the back! one of my friends did this for me, and now i never make a meal train that doesn’t include both dinner and breakfast. nothing is harder than figuring out how to feed yourself in the early postpartum days. -another friend came over in the early weeks and brought lunch with her to eat together, and it filled my cup! -i also always say something like “running by target/whole foods (even if i’m not), anything i can grab for you?” before visiting new babies. -the friends who brought something for our older daughter when our younger one was born made me weep. she needed her own attention, and i loved seeing our people love her.
I also love to use the “running by…” phrasing. I think it helps people feel more free to ask for something.
For new parents who also have older kids, I like to bring: – cut fruit – muffins – an activity that the older kid can do BY THEMSELVES A few activity suggestions by age 5+ years old: Paint by Sticker https://www.target.com/p/paint-by-sticker-unicorns-38-magic-workman/-/A-80914813?sid=&TCID=PDS-22806998572&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22797427089&gbraid=0AAAAAD-5dfa0WUkwCQzJ-BTzT6dHOZ1P9&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLfbPYTm0ozYEVzZz0pzdW1XO9rgiFCwVqhaJ-6fdAcTwA2OzfcQrpBoCLMYQAvD_BwE 4 years: Dress up sticker books https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/little-sticker-dolly-dressing-rainbow-fairy/38449595/item/64858312/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=low_vol_backlist_standard_shopping_retention_17605068861&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=606977662558&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17605068861&gbraid=0AAAAADwY45hvO5FrApCbqgtHwhBCsbqb_&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLWMCFvgbwZRO7V-c9iCsvkw4Lb7n10Gzc1s8LG1Sp7cPPtue3eBfzhoCeooQAvD_BwE#idiq=64858312&edition=66389500 2-3 years: Paint sticks and a huge Melissa and Doug coloring book https://www.walmart.com/ip/Melissa-Doug-Jumbo-Coloring-Pad-11-x-14-inches-Animals-50-Pictures/26899942?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wmlspartner=wlpa&cn=FY25-ENTP-PMAX_cnv_dps_dsn_dis_ad_entp_e_n&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222229826899942_6736816237_21407473164&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=&wl4=&wl5=9009975&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=26899942&veh=sem&semexp=dlp&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21690411341&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIo6QKdx73VsIefaZnqMz9QrR&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLSIpWSbp08QVZD_yU3UNA7HMfWtvzLZwkwteNauJ-bb8SWpkt2hrZBoCf-AQAvD_BwE https://www.walmart.com/ip/TBC-The-Best-Crafts-Paint-Sticks-12-Classic-Colors-Washable-Non-Toxic/18174010239?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=102962931&wmlspartner=wlpa&cn=FY25-ENTP-PMAX_cnv_dps_dsn_dis_ad_entp_e_n&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222229818174010239_102962931_6736816237_21407473164&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=&wl4=&wl5=9009975&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=5671950534&wl11=online&wl12=18174010239_102962931&veh=sem&semexp=dlp&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21690411341&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIo6QKdx73VsIefaZnqMz9QrR&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLWFmuz_krXROWsvE1GxkEjB0iZIOMwPiOgZ-zLM-9BxiDPZww5e9XRoC0VMQAvD_BwE Or, for any kid 2+: Wiki Stix! https://www.walmart.com/ip/Wikki-Stix-Original-Neon-Pak/15855923?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wmlspartner=wlpa&cn=FY25-ENTP-PMAX_cnv_dps_dsn_dis_ad_entp_e_n&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222229815855923_0000000000_21407473164&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=&wl4=&wl5=9009975&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=15855923&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21690411341&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIo6QKdx73VsIefaZnqMz9QrR&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLZghFRFIcGeTBNhGOXKJ0HhaJBVKw_f06aPZr6oQPkwB_GF8zuyNBBoCT9MQAvD_BwE
so wholeheartedly agree with this, and would add that magnatiles are the perfect gift for all ages. my parents gave them to my daughter as a big sister gift (when she was almost two) and she slept with them the first night, and has played with them nearly every day in the 1.5 years since. we always send them to older siblings now.
Cosign! Hand food + solo activity for siblings. Great suggestions here. Usborn dress up sticker books are one of my go-tos. I’ll also add Duplos. Magnatiles are a bit of a splurge but also highly recommended. I also like to give a book to all the kids – baby included because the good baby board books get so chewed up – but things they can do on their own are the priority.
Excellent ideas! Mom of 3 here, and this is exactly it!
A few times I have gifted a few hours of house cleaner fees, to be arranged at the new mom’s convenience.
co-signing this one and doing immediately for new mom friend of mine.
I love the idea of bringing a big salad that can keep in the fridge! Does anyone have any recipes that recommend? I have a dear friend who will be in need of meals soon, and I’d love to do this for her!
Hi! I’ve found that grain salads are great for this use. Bonus points: If you pair a container of fresh greens like a hearty cabbage crunch, pickled root vegetables, or even a premix of cleaned salad greens, you can keep on the side to add in the moment of eating, it really stays super delicious and fresh tasting for like five days and don’t get sad, wilted bites. If I want to make it like, a full meal situation, I have also added a protein on the side for friends so they can mix and match to make different meals with the grain salad base, like grilled chicken cubes, crispy tofu triangles, or tins of smoked fish, so they can protein up as needed with those flavors not taking over the whole dish. Happy feeding friends to you! -https://jamiegeller.com/articles/great-grain-salads/ -https://smittenkitchen.com/2012/10/butternut-squash-salad-with-farro-and-pepitas/ -https://susanality.substack.com/p/grain-salad-with-many-flavors
Can you find out if she’s avoiding anything? One idea is to make one or two salads and then package the ingredients separately so they can decide if they want beans / nuts / cheese. Some ideas: – Quinoa salad with lemon / oil dressing, cucumbers, tomatoes, and parsley. Feta / Chopped Almonds / chickpeas on the side. – Chicken or Tuna or Chickpea salad w/ vinaigrette or mayo and lots of celery – Wild rice with lemon & oil or vinaigrette w/ celery, carrots, radish, red onion. Feta / Pistachios / Beans on the side.
here’s my favorite fridge salad: 2 c quinoa, cooked and cooled 3-4 ripe tomatoes, diced 2 english cucumbers, diced 1 bunch of scallions, sliced fine (optional) 1-2 jalapenos, diced fine juice of 1 lemon 6 tbsp olive oil salt or soy sauce or bragg’s to taste Super easy and keeps for days!
I was served this room-temp at a retreat and promptly made it the Monday after. It has kept beautifully for many days, just needs a quick fluff / shake. Don’t mind the title, it’s a keeper! https://www.eatingbirdfood.com/jennifer-aniston-salad/
I love grain salads for this. I have made something similar to this one (https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/mediterranean-farro-salad-recipe/) for years. I take it on car trips and make it for not-sad desk lunches. Can add all kinds of things you like or leave things out you don’t have. So forgiving and always delicious. I also think chicken salad would be fantastic and would keep well, maybe with some rolls or crackers to eat with it.
After my first was born, someone brought an epic kale salad (hardier greens last longer) with pickled red onions, toasted nuts, crumbled cheese, roasted sweet potato/squash and maybe fruit, with dressing on the side. It was amazing
I adore the Emerald City salad from local Seattle coop PCC, which is a wild + kale + chard salad with a simple lemony, garlicky dressing. Here’s the recipe, and it’s great if you add more/less of ingredients, too. https://www.pccmarkets.com/recipes/recipe-detail/pcc-emerald-city-salad-12185 (Personally, I omit the fennel, green onion, and parsley, but use the full bunch of kale, chard, and each pepper. I’ve also enjoyed adding radish and snap peas, or serving with some falafel for added protein.) My tips for preparation revolve around seasoning the rice while it’s cooking (add a few smashed garlic cloves, salt, pepper, and a splash of olive oil while it cooks). While the rice is cooking, prepare the dressing. Pour the dressing on the still warm rice so that it gets absorbed by the grains, then toss the seasoned, still warm rice with the chiffonade-cut greens. I’ve made this dozens of times and found that dressing the rice while still warm makes a huge impact on flavor! Best of all, the salad keeps 4-5 days and retains its flavor. You can also add a little extra lemon, garlic, or olive oil to reinvigorate it after a few days, too.
4 months post partum here! I remember one of my neighbors who signed up for our meal train brought over quinoa bowls with chick peas and cut up veggies (carrots, peppers, cucumber etc.) with hummus and omg I’ve never been more thankful. I appreciated all the pastries & casseroles too of course but after all that sugar & starch a bite of fresh cucumber really hit the spot. If I ever have the opportunity to pay it forward I will do the same. I also appreciated small gestures in those first few days like my friend Anna who dropped off some treats and then whisked our attention-deprived doggo away for a walk around the block. Offering to do a chore like this is super helpful I think. Sending all the strength, love and hugs to the new moms out there. You got this and while it’s hard to believe right now I’m sure, things do change and you’ll feel better! You are not alone!
Ditto’ing the suggestion of an outing or focused attention for the other living creatures in the house. Dogs and older siblings really need it. One of my favorite “gifts” when I had my third baby was having a good friend set up a day to take me and the kids to the zoo while I was on maternity leave. She knew the older kids needed to get out but wanted to stick with me. So all I had to do was handle the baby while she handled tickets, jackets, potty trips, water bottles, lines, snacks, help on/off the carousel, etc. We had such a great day. I got to do something truly fun with the older kids in the most frictionless way. And she forever cemented herself in their hearts :)
I’ve given a couple of especially close friends gift cards to Kindred Bravely so they could buy some comfy new lounge clothes or bras for their newly postpartum bodies. I remember those first weeks (months??) after my first baby, when I still looked 6 months pregnant and was healing from birth while also, you know, trying to take care of a newborn. All my pre-pregnancy clothes felt too tight and uncomfortable, and my maternity stuff was suddenly too big and fit weirdly, or I just wanted to burn it all. Every friend I’ve done this for has been so appreciative. They said it really boosted their mood to pick out something new and comfy for the body they had right then, instead of avoiding buying anything because they might not wear it for very long.
i do not actually remember the first few months with our NICU baby (pretty sure my brain has just bulk deleted it) but I will say what I would have liked was, some flowers. I know, it sounds silly and superfluous but our baby arrived 8 weeks early, was an emergency c section, we both nearly died and what I was the most envious of was all the moms who had rooms full of flowers and balloons. i think everyone in our life was, like us, whew, you are alive thank goodness, and then shifted quickly and rightly to our game plan for our sweet baby but it would have been nice to have like, a normal new baby gift purchased in the gift shop, you know? related: that picture, Jannelle, oh the cute, that smushy baby face and cuddle, heaven.
I totally get this. One of my kids was a NICU baby and at some point in the chaos a friend dropped in to the hospital to visit with a gift of some baby blankets – totally normal except that no one else had brought a gift for the baby until then. I burst into tears and said “You think he’s going to live!”. I hadn’t realized til that moment that I was taking the lack of gifts as a sign that his birth might not be something to celebrate .. it’s dark but that’s where I was at at the time.
Oh my gosh, Meg–yeah. oh I feel that so deeply and was right there with you. I am sure that was why the no flowers is something I still think about sometimes. Sending hugs and hopes that your kiddo is flourishing now. xx
Yes to this. Have had two NICU babies and you feel so abnormal and like your beautiful happy experience of HAVING A BABY is totally overshadowed.
This is a really helpful comment that will definitely stay with me!!
YES, Micah, that is the exact feeling– beeps and wires and existential dread. (sending hugs)
I brought my cousin a party platter of turkey and ham wraps from Sam’s club after she had her third. She said it was the best thing anyone brought over. It was exactly what she had been craving, no utensils needed, and was easy to feed to her older two kids.
A tub a coconut yogurt, fresh berries, sliced fruit and a bottle of granola. There’s something so satisfying about assembling something that requires no thought, and is fresh and delicious, whenever you need a pick-me-up. A close friend did this for me 2 days postpartum, and I’ve made an effort to pay it forward whenever I can.
I have had two NICU babies and am currently expecting a third. It is such a slog. I recommend these for NICU moms: Pre-packed lunch items, snacks, sending your husband to mow their lawn, walk their dog for them, hand lotion (have to wash constantly in NICU and skin gets dry), warm socks and slippers, nursing clothes, pumping supplies like nursing pads, offers to babysit their other kids.
Our son was a preemie and spent several months in the NICU. While gift cards can sometimes feel impersonal, I have to say that gift cards were 100% the most helpful treat during the months of going back and forth between home and hospital. Gift cards to places near to the hospital were the most convenient, as my husband and I could just pick up food on the way home or take a quick walk outside the hospital during the day to grab a cup of coffee or a snack. A wallet full of gift cards from beloved friends was the most tangible display of love during those difficult months.
Love these ideas! I definitely second the Kindle suggestion but since that is kind of pricey, also just making her aware of Libby if she isn’t already and that she can get the Kindle app for her phone….ebooks are such a game changer for being up in the middle of the night with a baby and not resorting to scrolling (which only ever made me feel bad). And recommendations for some good lighthearted books you know she would like! Also wanted to mention that bringing a meal a few months later after all the initial gifts have died down is also SUPER nice, especially around when/if she is returning to work which is a very exhausting time.
I consider myself a blanket connoisseur, same with robes and slippers. Can never have enough :) They feel like a cozy hug from the giver.
These are all good ideas. Now, I will switch my giveaway meals to breakfasts. :)
When our daughter arrived ten days early, we were completely unorganized—her downstairs bassinet, stroller attachment, and bottle washer were all still in boxes. Our dear friend and neighbor, stepped in and saved the day. She brought us coffee and bagels, assembled all the gear so we had a safe spot for the baby, and even took out all the heavy recycling and trash. We felt so deeply loved and cared for. With our friend now expecting baby #2, I can’t wait to return the favor in a few months.
I always give new moms an unscented hand salve (THICCCCCCCC af) bc all the bottle/hand washing results in some very chapped hands.
After some difficult circumstances around my child’s birth, we had to scramble to find and pay for several nights of night doulas. Now I always contribute to this support if I think it could help. Night doulas, especially for those who do not live near family, can be lifesavers.
After reading this post, I want to send extra hugs to anyone who is not yet a mom but desires to be one. I really hope that you can come back to this post someday soon and spread all of these ideas to your friends and family so they can care for your family! I can very much remember the sting and the very specific pain that comes with infertility and being reminded of what I did not yet have but wanted.
Thanks for your note! The best thing from my previous marriage are my kids, and the hardest part of this season of singleness and healing is going through my last few years of fertility knowing that the door is closed on more children. I picked my hard. Many people don’t get to pick theirs, it’s handed to them.
Thank you for your kindness Sara ❤️ this is exactly what I needed to hear right now- two miscarriages this year so far, and awaiting to see if insurance is going to cover any of our IVF treatment!
Absolutely this. And for any expectant parents scrolling these comments— if a friend can’t come to your baby shower, or doesn’t show up for you during this season bc it’ll make her heart break too much, give her grace. She loves you, but she just can’t right now.
Thanks Sara. Had to fake that someone was knocking on my door when the chit chat turned to babiesbabiesbabies once again at my team meeting today. I have a few close friends who are pregnant at the moment, so am having to be quite careful about spending my emotional energy on them rather than people on my outer circle.
Thank you <3
For a fall or winter baby, I would most want good quality wool socks or nice closed toe wool slippers, along with some chocolate bars. For a summer baby, I would welcome a big box of popsicles and ice cream novelties.
My nicest gift after I was born a mother was a thermal coffee mug that had a lid and handle. I wanted so badly to drink a hot mug of coffee, but postpartum didn’t allow for it to stay hot. So my family scoured the internet and found me the perfect one to keep my coffee hot while I bopped between preschooler and newborn. Nowadays I can drink out of a normal mug again, and it is at work my coffee gets cold. A colleague surprised me last week with a thank you gift of a thermal mug with a handle and lid for my desk and I almost cried, I was so touched.
I came here to say the same! When I was pregnant with my first, my best friend gifted me a Yeti coffee mug with lid that I still use daily. It was a totally unexpected gift that my brain had not connected with babies/motherhood. She was also not a mom yet, but I remember her texting me, “I’ve heard when you’re a mom you never get to drink hot coffee lol” (oh how true, we had no idea)
This! My mother-in-law gifted me an Ember mug and it was the best gift ever, I am still using it 9 months later.
My book Quickening: The Art of Being a Creative Mother is a nice gift for new moms (and more experienced moms)! https://mixam.com/print-on-demand/6895310662a8ab6c321b8179
For those who like to read, a Kindle Paperwhite. It’s the ideal way to read while nursing/rocking a baby in the middle of the night.
My two most used items on tough nights are my kindle and my AirPods!! The kindle I would pop on top of the stroller and slowly walk the baby in a circle through the halls of my building, or if they were in the carrier I’d pop my iPhone on a shelf, cue up married at first sight Australia, and pace around the kitchen island with that in one ear. Or even music to sing along to to the bub!
This is a bit pricy but if you can swing it a new mom will be thrilled: a gift card for a cleaning service.
And I would specify that part of the gift is already picking the cleaning service, so the new parent(s) don’t have to search the internet and compare reviews and prices and then get discouraged and never even use the cash. I have wanted to get a cleaning service for 4+ YEARS, and while we are lucky to be able to afford it, somehow the work of researching and pinning down a company eluded me, despite how much time it could have saved in the long run. I finally did pick one in the last 2 months weeks and it’s been great.