Have a Lovely Weekend.
What are you up to this weekend? We’re going to watch the Valkyries basketball game and are trying to come up with purple snacks to serve! (Any ideas other than grapes?) Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…
“I’ve never had sex and I’m nervous.” Freddie and I answer nine reader questions about dating, divorce, parenting, and haircuts. (gift link)
Would you ever try this moody lipstick trend for fall?
Where you should live. “Your 10-minute radius matters more than almost anything else about where you live: Think about what you can get to in 10 minutes without making it a whole thing. I can get coffee, get groceries, go to a park, and go to a friend’s place.”
Who wants to go to this tiny bookstore in Maine?
A fun fact about Good Night Moon.
Speaking of mattresses, we have these incredibly comfy ones on all our beds at home.
Zac Posen’s captain’s cottage in San Francisco.
How cool are these lantern sculptures? (via Youngna)
A company for lapsed ballet dancers who want to perform. “There are relatively few designated spaces for serious former students to practice and perform at a high level, with no dreams of going pro…Instead of holding an audition, Thai and Gramly asked dancers to write two personal essays — one detailing their history with ballet and another about their best friend from childhood ballet class. ‘Hearing their stories,’ Thai said, ‘was so much more important than judging their dancing.’”
How great is the cover of Eric Kim’s new book of essays?
Ruggable now makes all-wool rugs! I have my eye on this and this.
No such thing as too many flowers.
Plus, two reader comments:
Says Jocelyn on 10 fun questions to ask your significant other: “There’s only one question to be asked if you want to understand somebody else: bread or potatoes? As in, you can only have one, in any variation, for the rest of your life and can never again have the other. Technically there is no wrong answer, until there is! See also: tea or coffee? Music or books? Seaside or mountains?”
Says Susan on Sharon Beesley’s colorful house explodes with Goodwill finds: “Yes to not deadheading plants! Six years ago, I started leaving my flowers up over the winter and I love it. So many birds eat the seed heads, especially goldfinches on the purple coneflowers and dark-eyed juncos on the black-eyed Susans.”
(Photo by Igor/Stocksy.)
Comments
129 commentsAs a former ballet dancer, I the NY Times article really resonated with me! Gahh such a beautiful community that they are building for former dancers. I was no where close to a professional level or ambition but it was a my childhood passion. I was really lucky to dance at a very community minded studio that overall nurtured a healthy environment for dancers and can tell they’re creating something special in NYC. Anyone want to start this in Chicago? I would come take class from you!
It resonated so much with me too, as a former dancer!
Sorry about your Valkyries but I have to share this that I think many people here will appreciate. There is a women owned sports bar in ATLANTA called…Jolene Jolene. As listed on their website: Atlanta’s first and only bar for women’s sports where you can watch women’s sports with the sound on alongside other fans. When the DREAM won this weekend, the energy at the bar was amazing. The joy was high! So amazing that…um…someone called the cops. That part is not great (don’t call the cops), but ya’ll…. this was the Atlanta Dream’s first WNBA Finals win in franchise history. And people watched it at Jolene Jolene. I no longer live close enough to the city to have joined the crowd there, and just heard about it through friends and the neighborhood facebook groups I’m still part of. If you are in Atlanta, go check out Jolene Jolene. Report back. (I”m not associated with the venue in any way, I just think it’s so cool!)
Hey so as a Valkyries fan I have to report that there is a similar place—a women’s sports bar where you can enjoy watching the Valkyries in the finals—in San Francisco called Rikki’s. It’s SO satisfying that these places exist! Go women’s sports teams (all of them!). Long may they play!
For the reader comment about asking your significant other questions like Seaside or Mountains? I had such a warm and loving reaction. I’ve been married for 20 years and I can answer all of those prompts for my partner and tell you a little story of how I know. And wouldn’t that be a fun game to play… your answer is this and how I know…
The 10-minute rule resonates, particularly because I’m having to make a trade-off, deciding between my current very walkable neighborhood versus living closer to the kids’ school. Currently we’re a 25-minute drive from school but everything else is extremely close. The kids are in elementary school and school is the biggest source of community for us right now. But in every other way, our current location is ideal. Unfortunately the school is in a super suburban, car-oriented part of the city. Would be very interested in people’s thoughts, opinions, or guidance. Thanks!
Are you renting or buying? Where are the middle and high schools? The nuance here is that the 10-min radius can be extremely costly, and not everyone can pull it off. I’m grateful that we can right now and am not sure how long we can, but we make (what some might consider extreme) sacrifices: 5 people to one bathroom.
School is temporary. Think just 3-5 years tops. How often do you want to move and would you ever be able to get back to the ideal again?
Thanks for the responses! Middle and high school are in the same location, so we’ve got another 10 years in the area at least. Currently renting hoping to buy. Five people to one bathroom is heroic! There are definitely sacrifices I’m willing to make though.
Yes to moody lipstick! I love O from MAC or the budget friendly Divine Wine from L’Oreal. Both nearly identical and perfect for fall!
I can’t believe how instantly and how decisively I answered all of Jocelyn’s questions. Good one!
Yes to moody lipstick for the fall! My current fave is ‘Antique Velvet’ by MAC – great on brown skin!
i love it thank you
So.. I am now fully caught up with the latest episode of the great British baking show, now with Nigella. Thoughts? She is growing on me and I’ve decided that I love her use of evocative adjectives for things like.. citrus. l am still deciding of if I like the wacky new challenges. I think Tom will win, big that keeps changing..
I love her so much. I think she called something “beguiling” during the last episode and I’ve been trying to inject that into a conversation since!
I’m liking Nigella! Mary Berry and Prue were great in their own way but Nigella feels like she pushes/balances Paul a little more. Fun contestants this season – per usual. It is such a comforting watch.
I haven’t watched this new season yet, but I always think about that time she pronounced microwave “mee-crow-WAHW-vey” and it makes me smile. :)
Nigella is growing on me as well. I like how she unabashedly enjoys food, challenges Paul and is just all around fabulous. I think Tom might win because he’s been consistently strong, but Mo might be the underdog. He also cracks me up.
I felt protective because I loved Prue so much but Nigella has won me over! She gives such thoughtful and tangible direction and feedback. She really seems to enjoy the contestants and root for them. And why is it so funny watching her try to take big bites?? Any one else notice her struggle to get those big chunks of cake in her mouth. It’s simply charming.
Nigella is great. She doesn’t pander to Paul and is a more adventurous eater. I can’t tell who will win yet. No one is ‘wowing’ me yet, though Mo had a good week 1.
I accept her as an exercise in diversity, lol. She is so odd, (the way she does not eat gracefully is really intense for me), but hey, good for her. I don’t think it’s a perfect match but I can easily handle one season, I mean, she’s an expert and it shows. I’ve always watched her excellent seasonal cooking shows, however, I think she’s better on her own.
I once heard someone say that optimism is a hopeful disposition with a realistic outlook, so that’s my approach to my wardrobe. After having a child several years ago, multiple pelvic surgeries over the past 20 years for ovarian dermoids and endometriosis, and many hours of pelvic floor therapy with two amazing physical therapists – my go to questions when cleaning out my closet are: 1) will it be very noticeable if I accidentally tinkle in this pants/skirts/dress, and 2) will this top go well with at least a few of the pants/skirts that passed the tinkle test? I try to answer with optimism.
Any other Yasso fans here? They make frozen greek yogurt bars that are really good — and not only are the black raspberry chip ones my personal favorite…they are pretty close to purple! :)
Yes, love the chocolate fudge and they are tempering my “eat ice cream anytime” summer attitude that got a little out of hand.
A little late on this one, but if you haven’t made cauliflower soup with a purple cauliflower, you should try it, especially if you’re looking for something purple to serve, like the color, or has a kid obsessed with the color. And bonus, add a squeeze of lemon juice when serving (or let your guests add it themselves), and they’ll be suprised by the bright pink color it creates.
I love cauliflower soup and am totally going to do this! Your comment is totally appreciated.
The 10 minute radius thing made me chuckle because I live in a very small town in north eastern California… and the town has a 2 mile radius and it takes 7 minutes at most to get anywhere. But that’s why I love it. The nearest city is 90 miles away, and that place is a huge suburban sprawl and it takes 20-30 minutes to get from one place to the next because of the giant shopping centers and freeways and whatnot. I’m glad to not have a freeway in site here. There are people who live “out of town” around here, and their drive to get to somewhere in town is obviously longer than mine living “in town”. I find it funny when I get irritated when I have to drive 5 minutes to go pick something up. I’ve also lived in Echo Park, Los Angeles and this 10 minute rule also applied there. I didn’t have a car back then, and everything I needed I could walk to or ride the bus to within 10 minutes. Coming from my small town, that’s probably why I loved it in LA. It was like a bunch of little communities packed next to each other. I haven’t yet been to New York City, but I’fld imagine it’s similar (in a different sort of way 😉)
Thank you for highlighting the Valkyries! It’s been incredible watching all of San Francisco dress up in a sea of purple and frustrating to see it get a fraction of the coverage of the NBA finals. Everyone watches women’s sports!
The Valkyries game? Oh, you mean the Dream game! 😉
One of my best friends owns that cute tiny bookstore in Maine and can confirm is it THE GREATEST and even more fantastic in person than you could imagine. All CoJ family are invited to our impending romance book club meetings
Thank you SO much for linking to our little bookstore! Please let us know if you’re ever up in Midcoast Maine and want to check it out :)
To deadhead or not to deadhead: I adopted Monty Don’s motto of “if it looks awful, it has to go.” One winter, I spent many weeks looking at plants that looked like the death-eaters from Harry Potter until I heard Monty Don explain his take on the matter and I immediately adopted it. On the whole, I’m all about letting plants stay until late winter/spring, providing food and shelter, too, of course.
I think the 10 minute radius is brilliant! It is also reminds me of being a sophomore in high school in a very tiny CT town and my teacher proclaiming that most people marry someone within a 10 mile radius. I was horrified! Not because I didn’t like my boyfriend or friends or neighbours, but because I wanted to see and experience something else, too!
Ok, I’m wondering if that’s maybe true on a global scale? Fascinating!
In my twenties, I always used to ask, “bread, rice, or pasta”? (Potatoes existed in a different bucket in my mind…I suppose they were less a staple for me and more a special occasion food.) I’ve now been gluten-free for a while now, and while I eat some GF bread and pasta, they are less big parts of my diet.
Roasted purple sweet potato slices!
So fun seeing Jason Sho Green’s work linked here! I love his work and actually found him through his partner, Martha Moore Porter. She makes beautiful clothes for herself and is a big sewing inspiration. They also have the most beautiful flower garden in Hudson, NY! Highly recommend checking out her accounts for an abundance of joyful color and inspiration! (@martha_moore_porter for sewing and @martysgarty for flowers)
I love Martha!!! I would actually love to see more week of outfits features with people who make their own clothes. Martha would be a fun one!
For purple snacks….beet hummus! Chop up a roasted beet and add to garbanzos and whirl in your food processor. It’s delish. Ube anything! Michi, muffins, cookies….
Perhaps purple figs stuffed with goat cheese and topped with chopped pistachios? Skewers of blackberries(mix in green grapes for texture and color contrast) with blueberry yogurt with a touch of almond extract Ube anything- crackers, sweet potato chips, or tortilla chips Blackberry pie
I live in Oregon and am also feeling the lack of mention of the very sad school shooting in Oregon this week. Bend is a lovely small city in central Oregon, and many residents likely moved there thinking that it was a wholesome, safe environment. Also feeling the lack of mention of NO KINGS today. The non-partisan focus for this march is on voting early, which surely we can all support! I often see commenters expressing worries about the future. It is in your hands to get out and vote! I find protesting very empowering and will be taking the light rail downtown with my sign to join the throng. Don’t lose hope. Your vote matters. Vote early!! Thank you.
Sending extra love to Oregon. As someone said in another comment, I hate how school shootings have become so commonplace that often people don’t even talk about them anymore. Re – No Kings, it seemed like i didn’t see that many people talking about it online (or maybe Meta was hiding posts)… and it was frustrating that it seemed like — at least in my city–, it wasn’t as big of a turn out compared to past protests … there were about 1,000 folks that turned up though and like you said, it’s always a positive, empowering vibe! Yes to getting out the vote! Bring on the blue wave!!
Suggestion for purple snack: Something made with aubergine?
Love to hear about the unique ballet company. As a classically trained musician I have a similar back story- that is, I was trained as if I would go pro, without knowing whether I would. Spoiler: I am not a professional musician, but after some years of not playing much, and only by myself (which I don’t find very satisfying) I joined a community orchestra, and it brings me so much joy. There is nothing like the collective high of playing in a large ensemble.
Hey have a good weekend. And after being a grump last week I think I will …like many… enjoy the protips, it’s a cute and fun concept. Someone asked why some of us seem grumpy…well yes it kind of sucks out here sometimes… So thank you Joanna for the positive content, good vibes, and yes you do listen and graciously respond when we have comments and that’s appreciated tooo, And I a,so wanted your cooking guy Casey to know I’ve made the chicken 3 times now and my very annoying picky children love it.
This comment is gold. All well said :)
First time in a gazillion years reading this blog and I feel compelled to comment. Ube ice cream is purple and luscious if you can get your hands on it.
Ooh thank you! And welcome back! Xoxo
Ube EVERYTHING! Trader Joe’s has the Ube pancake mix and I highly recommend. GO VALS!
Yes to ube! Here in Honolulu we have lots of foods with ube! I found this fun article: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/09/business/ube-flavor.html too for ube ideas!
Blueberry muffins (or blueb anything) are purple. Blue corn chips with cowboy caviar add purple cabbage and use red onion.
hahahha my family calls them “bluebs” as well.
Going by the “10 minute rule,” I evidently live in the perfect location. Who knew?
I am green with envy 😆
Yes, me too! During the middle of the pandemic the NY Times had an article about the ’15 minute city’ and they showcased my neighborhood.
Same! Within a 10 minute walk I can get to a canal and a river, a few coffee shops and bakeries, restaurants, a grocery store and a farmer’s market on Saturdays. I live in a small condo, but feel so lucky to live in my neighborhood ❤️
Congrats! Sometimes its good to gain new perspective on why where we live is great. :)
Why i am never leaving my neighbourhood. Mutliple coffee shops, groceries, drugstore, pubs, kid’s school, arena and friends (walking), large park with 20 km loop of reservoir, library (on bike), unfortunately it is a about 20 – 25 mins driving to my office when you account for contract.
The where you should live article was so timely for me! I have been debating moving to a place with more space with my 3 kids- I have them every other weekend and some weekdays, and when I have them in my tiny apartment it’s like all being together in a hotel room 😅 one bathroom!! But I sat with it some more and decided I love our little space. It’s walking distance to yoga, a river park, tons of restaurants. The bigger place would have tightened the budget to not being able to afford spontaneous boba and ski trips. I am nervous about being on my own and making good decisions after just getting divorced two years ago…but think I made the right choice and I keep seeing affirmations of that 😊
Hi Annie, I’ve been separated two years too and have a daughter. Where you live is so important. I love that you’ve decide where you are has so many benefits. I feel the same way too. I’m also so nervous about being by myself. Sending love.
Wondering if anyone else has been distraught and thinking about the latest school shooting in Bend. I’m beyond heartbroken and “anger” doesn’t quite capture the immense despair I feel about what happened. I work in a special education classroom. The thought of students and a teacher being gunned down is too much to bear. Anyway I am holding so much grief and love and thoughts of loving healing for the victims’ families. Apologies if this is too much of a downer here. But I appreciate the space to express this.
I live in Bend OR and we are all so heartbroken.
I live in Oregon and I am devastated. My youngest is now in college and I drive by a middle school every day on my way to work. I’ve only recently realized that I worried about a school shooting at my kid’s schools EVERY SCHOOL DAY for 15 years as I drove by that middle school. How are we all living like this?!
It is absolutely heartbreaking and enraging! This is all preventable 💔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😭😭😭😭😭
Joaquina, Yes. I’m also distraught. I have a 7yo and 12yo, and this situation is my worst nightmare. I’m holding these victims, their loved ones, and the community close to my heart. It’s devastating. Sending you a big hug and validation that bringing up this terrible situation is ok, because it’s real and these people matter.
I too live in Bend. Our community is reeling. But our community is also strong and filled with love. It is surreal to read the weekend post for Cup of Jo and see no mention of this tragedy when it is has been with us every breath since yesterday. at 1 pm. Still it is a relief in some ways that normal life is going on for people around the country. My heart is broken for every teacher and school employee who goes to work knowing they face these risks and for every family that sends their children to school each day knowing how vulnerable they truly are.
This morning I considered asking our school administrators if our street-level classrooms had bulletproof glass in them. This world we and our children are living in is truly hellish, no matter where we live.
The teacher we lost was a graduate from my program. It is too much. We have more guns than people in this country. (120 per 100 people.) What kind of a country allows that to happen to itself??
I live outside of Bend in a small town that doesn’t have adequate school security and leans Conservative. So no way the proposed new school bond will pass, despite it having upgraded security measures for a new building. I spent yesterday weepy and angry at the world. I came here this morning to find joy and distraction, so loved reading the article on the ballerinas. Thank you.
I’m a K teacher in a big city with a classroom right off the front entrance to the school. Thinking about how I could possibly shield 20+ little bodies from harm is never far from my mind. It’s infuriating and heartbreaking to live in a country where the government actively works to take away rights from women while actively working to protect the rights of people to have guns. Parents should be able to send their kids to school without fearing the worst and teachers should not be using brain power running through all the scenarios of how things could go wrong and how we could protect the kids in our care in those situations. Enough already (again).
Hello Joaquina and the other ladies who replied. I want you to know that I live in Canada far from Oregon and yet you are all in my thoughts. I am sickened by the news and sending you love across the miles.
Distraught….can’t stop thinking about it. NPR was asking what the shooter’s motive was. Who cares?? I donated to everytown. The only issue I vote on now is gun control. Sending our kids to school should not be dangerous. Big hugs.
My mind has been on this constantly since I heard. I am heartbroken for their community and all whose lives are shattered by this. My thoughts are constantly turning towards the hero who took quick and decisive action while putting himself at risk. And I also think about my own community and how vulnerable we are to the exact same thing. I come at this from the perspective of a parent with children in three different schools, a spouse of a teacher who works in another one, and a citizen. Isn’t it sad that instead of being able to feel like my loved ones are safe, I find comfort in the fact that all four of my loved ones spend their days in different schools so that if something like this happens here I’m only going to lose one of them? And isn’t it sad that I’m considering whether I need to own a gun so that if I need to take swift action to stop an active shooter situation I’m prepared to do so? Isn’t it sad that when i’m sitting in church, that instead of concentrating on worship I’m pondering what action I would take if an active shooter entered the sanctuary? And isn’t it sad that I have had conversations with my husband this week about the fact that if an active shooter enters his school he needs to do everything he can to stop them, even if we have to lose him to do so? I’m heartbroken, scared, and mad that this keeps happening.
I live in Portland-ish, we have many friends in Bend. It was shocking. My kids are pretty well shielded from the news but they noticed that flags were at half staff and asked why. Last time it was for Dolly Parton’s death, this time for the loss of life in Bend. We had yet another good conversation about firearms and regulation—and how to grow up to be the adult in any room. Bless you!
Yes, I don’t live there but have thought of the citizens of Bend, the community, the families and friends. It’s all so horrific and wrong, and it fills me with despair.
It’s so heartbreaking. Especially sad knowing that it happened to kids in a special education class. Ugh! We need gun control now! And what is wrong with that parent who bought her (already troubled) son a gun??? Sending extra love to folks in Oregon and parents everywhere. <3
Regarding bread & potatoes… firstly – ALWAYS potatoes. But I know a very happily married couple despite he being Irish and she not really liking potatoes at all! Sometimes we invite him over for potatoes.
Potatoes are the correct choice here :)
I choose potatoes in that question because I can’t eat gluten. I love potatoes and they are amazingly versatile, but honestly, if I could, my answer would be bread!! Lol
One can make bread with potatoes… but I have yet to figure out how to make potatoes out of bread.
Anon – I loved that comment. so smart.
We’ll be watching the Dream game! :)
We’ve played that “either or” game around the dinner table for years, we love it! Back when our youngest was 3, they said “Babies? orrrr Garbage.” and our 5 year old thoughtfully replied “what kind of baby?” (In fairness, the 3 year old was the kind of baby that did NOT stop crying) And honestly, it was our best round
Emily O, this small story is a huge gift. I love it and thank you for sharing with us. PS: some days, I’d ask what’s *in* the garbage exactly before answering.
This is such a wonderful story and makes me want to be your kid’s friend when she grows up, haha!
Sorry I will not stand for this Clement Hurd slander lol. He illustrated dozens of children’s books, many without rabbits haha. Here is a fact about him that is both fun and true, though: he illustrated a children’s book written by Gertrude Stein called “The World Is Round”!
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/02/07/the-radical-woman-behind-goodnight-moon If you’re interested and have a New Yorker login
Ooh, and he had a son named Thatcher Hurd, who wrote and illustrated many absolutely amazing, totally wild picture books — including one of my favorites, Pea Patch Jig, featuring a family of mice having a party at their tiny house hidden in the rows of a big vegetable farm. The farmer in Pea Patch Jig is named “Clem” after Clement, who apparently raised his family on a farm in Vermont. May we build a world in which all children are able to grow up safely and peacefully, so that they can pass their favorite picture books on to their own children.
Ithaca beet hummus!!! Yummm
Just got back from a trip to New York, and I totally get how New Yorkers live “outside their home” on a regular basis. My husband and I talked about how we SEE (literally and figuratively) so many more people in New York because they’re not all hidden inside their cars! But, as someone who lives in a big house in a not-as-bustling city, I felt grateful to come back to it after a week. One other thing that I wanted to ask New Yorkers- how do you all deal with the ubiquitous marijuana, especially when raising kids in the city? It seemed to be everywhere, so much so that I found myself craving indoor spaces because at least people couldn’t smoke indoors and I wouldn’t find myself randomly immersed in a cloud of weed.
I think it’s in some places (like parks) more than others. We don’t really smell it in our neighborhood that much!
This is similar to smoking culture in Europe. In the US, people are not smoking in restaurants and in general far less smoking in US. I would love to move to Europe and live there for a while but I don’t think I can stand the second hand constant smoke
I hate it. There is also the phenomenon of people with such a strong stench of it on their clothes you have to move in the subway. Legalization was a terrible idea, imo.
I live in Denver and we have the same problem–included coming from passing cars. Disgusting.
Ditto. Even in my upper midwestern town (where it’s not even legal-legal), I can’t go on a nature walk or biking through my neighborhood without getting assaulted by the stench. What I’d like to smell is the leaves and dirt and fall air. It’s air pollution as far as I’m concerned.
Hey! Luckily you don’t have to deny yourself from moving to Europe because of smoking bans. Europe is not one country and over 10 European countries have full smoking bans in indoor public spaces, restaurants etc. and basically all the others have partial smoking bans. Plenty of options!
White chocolate popcorn (literally.. melt white chocolate chips and pour over popcorn… spread out on pan so it does not clump)used to be a staple for a Christmas gathering in our family. I started experimenting with food coloring and have made some beautiful colored popcorn. I bet you could make a beautiful purple chocolate covered popcorn with red and blue food coloring…. There are some safe/healthier food dyes out there. Mix the color with the melted chocolates and make sure it is the color you want before you pour it over the popcorn. So simple and so delicious!
Haha Jocelyn’s question is similar to one I always ask at gatherings when I don’t know people, but mine is expanded – which carb do you pick for life: bread, potatoes, rice, or pasta? Technically there are 2 wheat options, but bread and pasta are so different that people argue passionately for or against, and different cultures have very different opinions. It’s so fun (I have to say bread, except every other time I switch to a different one – I just love carbs in all forms!)
If you want to start a fierce debate, ask anyone to rank their top 5 carbs. It’s an excellent ice breaker, especially in a group. Someone will immediately nominate something, then go ‘no, WAIT!’ and amend their list. When I’ve done this with friends, I’ve expected pasta, rice, wheat, potatoes etc. But the people who named specific things ‘crossaint’, ‘beer’, ‘dalh’ etc really made me laugh!
I used to love a Nepalese restaurant on the UWS because the meal contained bread, potatoes and rice.
Potatoes, coffee, and books are my answers but I would miss the others. I saw the book cover and thought “Spaghetti Junction’ like in my city? Turns out, yup, named after it in Atlanta!
As an Oregonian, feeling so heartbroken about the shooting of three littles, and more about being in a country where these shootings are so common they don’t warrant a mention in the weekly publication.
So many hearts are with you Kat. Every morning, 5 days a week, I pray for this not to happen. Apparently 149 so far, in this year alone. How we continue to allow this is beyond my ability to comprehend. Will this ever ever end? In our lifetimes? I’d like to hope, but I am past my midlife, and I fear it will not. Heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking. I am so so sorry, Oregon. Very sorry.
I am reeling too. It’s also very disappointing to me that cup of Jo, at least on the blog (not sure about the newsletter) has stopped posting about current events and motivating people to do something. It’s not their job of course, I just miss that.
Joanna can you do an updated post about raising kids in New York. The life long NYC bug I’ve kept at bay is starting to win out but I’m a mom of a seven year old and while I know I would thrive in New York, parenting there seems daunting. School, transportation, socializing. Are all their friends local or did you have to take the subway to play dates when they were younger. If you have to pick up a sick child from school how long does it take to get there? Obviously not looking for info on their routines are anything too personal but maybe just a general sense of how you’ve made it all work.
I moved to Brooklyn from VA just before my kids started K and 2nd grade. They are now a freshman and a junior in college. I chose the apartment in the first neighborhood we lived in based on proximity to a good public elementary school, the subway, and a park, and it made parenting pretty easy. By the time the kids were in middle school they were comfortable taking trains and buses all over the city by themselves to hang out with friends, play sports, and participate in other extracurriculars. When they were little, we walked to meet friends / do activities and also took the train or bus. And you coordinate pick ups and drop offs with other parents the same way you would anywhere else. I’d often collect several kids after work at soccer practice and walk or ride the train with them all home (and another parent would have done the same with my kids on the way there). There is instant community living in a neighborhood in the city and you make friends with neighbors and other parents because you see them all while you’re living your life. I can’t imagine living in the suburbs and doing all the kid logistics by car – and here once the kids are 10/11/12, they can go (with friends) and do all of the coming and going on their own.
I moved to New York with an eighteen month old from the U.K. and had my second child there too. (That CoJ guide was a lifesaver for me!). I’ve lived in lots of places (big cities like London and small rural areas) and have to say New York was one of the friendliest/easiest as a parent. Having kids helped me make friends straight away, and my kiddos had instant friends in the building and from school three blocks away. There’s also so much for kids to do. Playgrounds/ parks, loads of museums and classes. I’m back in the UK now with my teens but so glad we got (and took!) the opportunity to live in New York.
Thanks Katie and Elle! I felt what she both shared would be the case but I also know I can romanticize almost anything so thanks for confirming. We’re going to plan a trip for early next year and spend a week pretending to be locals. If we survive my goal is to move before the holidays next year. Eek! I stomach my stomach just typing that!
Sequoia – that’s so exciting! When you plan your trial week, try to stay in the same neighborhood where you want to live. Or, if you are deciding between neighborhoods, make sure you spend time in each one and investigate the walk to schools, playgrounds, subway, and shopping. Living close to the train / school / stores that you plan to frequent makes the difference between happiness and aggravation.
Heyyyyyy, anyone else so stoked for the new Narnia trailer? Like omg are we getting not-reheated-Lord-of-the-Rings nachos? Are we getting some FRESH, VIBRANT, A LITTLE UNHINGED fantasy? Like, does Gerwig have our backs big time with a jolt of fresh perspective? Are we totally changing the timeline so the Lion, Witch, Wardrobe is *not* a WWII story anymore? Is Emma Mackey’s Witch going to bring back Paco Rabanne metal dresses? I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS!!!!
Betsy, we can talk. I am SO EXCITED. Normally I show kids movie trailers to my kid, like save them to watch with her. I’ve watched this one three times and forgot to show her because I fully am thinking of it as a movie for me.
I love Greta Gerwig’s movies but the Narnia trailer is giving serious Labyrinth vibes, which I was not expecting. I’ll definitely be watching the movie either way!
I was feeling skeptical and a little bit ugh another remake about it and the preview kind of took my breath away, honestly. So you’re not alone!!!
I had no idea this was happening!!!! Just watched the trailer thanks to your comment, and I have full body chills. I felt very meh about Magician’s Nephew as a book, but the movie looks hardcore.
I am also super excited about the Gerwig Narnia! I hope it lives up to expectations and we need a group discussion!
I can only speak for myself, and no I’m not looking forward to it at all…I had to rein in my tongue when I found out that my kids watched the last Narnia version at their dad’s house before they watched the original BBC version. And two of my three kids haven’t read the books yet. I’ll be in my judgy corner :)
Ube anything for purple snacks!
This purple cabbage salad is delicious! It’s in heavy rotation at my house. https://smittenkitchen.com/2015/11/date-feta-and-red-cabbage-salad/
Ditto!!
Sarah, Since you are date-feta fan, you might enjoy this with carmelized dates. OMG, they are so good! https://ediblemontereybay.com/online-magazine/spring-2025/celery-and-caramelized-date-salad-with-goat-cheese-and-toasted-walnuts/
Anna! Carmelized dates?!?! Thank you so much. All these ingredients are staples in my house and I’m making this stat.
You could get purple potatoes and have a mashed potato bar, or purple carrots and cauliflower with dip. Joanna, you said on a post earlier this week that you have a lot of overnight guests. How do you become comfortable with people in your house? I didn’t grow up in a house that was big on hosting, and we live in a small home. There are 6 of us and we have 3 bedrooms. It just feels like there is no space for anyone to sleep if we did have them over. Any ideas??
such a good q! we’ve always had lots of overnight guests since we live far away from family. I remember when I had a roommate in a tiny apartment in the west village, my dad would sleep ON THE FLOOR with his head under my desk in my bedroom. I begged him to take my bed (and I’d sleep on the floor) but he refused. so we’re used to cramming people in, haha. they’re there to see you so I’m sure they’ll be happy to be there! and I think if you make any little efforts, people really appreciate it — water in their bedroom, an extra blanket, fresh fruit in the fridge. and we do have a 3-day limit for hosting most people (other than my parents and the boys’ cousin jimmy), which in a past comment thread was somewhat debated by readers, but that’s how we can host a lot without burning out, especially since I work from home. xoxo Joanna
Yesssss purple potatoes!!’
Sara-I don’t know how old your kids are, but when mine were young and we lived in a small apartment in Boston, someone gave us a queen size mattress. We ended up putting both our kids on the queen size bed in our second bedroom. When guests would come to see us or visit the city, we had a queen size bed to offer them and our kids would sleep on the couch or the floor. It took up a lot of floor space compared to the bunk beds we got later, but they would just use it as a play space and had fun jumping on it in the winter (which was fine with me, because it was free!)
Re: Freddie and Cornwall and tides. When we do our annual family beach vacation, 50% of the conversation revolves around the tides, and I love it.
Hi coj aka Joanna, Jannelle, Alison, Kaitlyn, Casey, Christine (and anybody I forgot): thank you for doing what you do & wishing you a soft beautiful cuddly weekend. I am really glad you & this blog exist.
I so agree Anon. Cup of Jo (and the comments) are a real bright spot for me. Thank you to the whole team. ❤️🌼🌸
Yes! Thanks to the team for CoJ! We love you!